Jonathan Ashford: Three‑Hour Near‑Death Experience and Awakening - Buddha at the Gas Pump Interview®

In this episode of Buddha at the Gas Pump, host Rick Archer interviews Jonathan Ashford, a former hard-driving corporate executive who underwent a profound transformation following a near-death experience (NDE). After collapsing from undiagnosed sepsis and organ failure, Jonathan was clinically dead for three hours, during which he transitioned from a state of complete non-spirituality to one of deep cosmic awareness.

During his three hours out of the body, Jonathan experienced a comforting velvety darkness before waking up in a glowing, living landscape of light. He met a radiant guide whom he recognized as a manifestation of divine love, underwent a deeply moving life review that highlighted the interconnectedness of all beings, and received a massive download of spiritual knowledge about consciousness, time, and reality.

Returning to his body was a slow, physically grueling process, but Jonathan came back completely changed. He walked away from his high-powered corporate career, sold his material possessions, and dedicated his life to helping others navigate their own spiritual awakenings. Today, he shares his insights on practical spirituality, the nature of divine love, and living in alignment with the formless divinity that underlies our existence.

Key takeaways

• A near-death experience can instantly shatter a lifetime of ego-driven, non-spiritual conditioning and replace it with unconditional love.
• The life review reveals that our actions deeply affect others because we are all fundamentally connected as part of a single divine consciousness.
• The physical world and its challenges serve as necessary contrast, providing us with opportunities to choose and remember love.
• True spiritual transformation shifts our internal state, allowing our daily decisions and actions to flow spontaneously from a place of love rather than fear.
• We are not our physical bodies; recognizing our true nature as formless divinity brings freedom from external circumstances.

Highlights

• 0:02:26 — Jonathan's former life as a corporate executive
• 0:11:20 — The physical collapse and recognition of imminent death
• 0:17:30 — Experiencing the velvety darkness and formless love
• 0:27:30 — Meeting the guide and beginning the life review
• 0:46:40 — Immersion in golden light and the interconnectedness of all things
• 1:00:16 — Returning to the physical body and integrating the NDE
• 1:18:28 — Walking away from the corporate path

00:00:00 Opening clip and Rick’s intro, BatGap resources, AI bot, donations
00:02:00 Jonathan’s former life as a hard‑driving, non‑spiritual C‑suite executive
00:05:00 Illness unfolds: collapses, ER visits, misdiagnosis, and sepsis developing
00:11:20 4:30 a.m. crisis: turning yellow, collapse, and recognition of imminent death
00:17:30 Velvety darkness: being swaddled, carried, and cradled in formless love
00:19:30 Glowing meadow: living landscape, light as love, guide appears and says “You’re dead”
00:27:30 “I am you and you are me”: Oneness, divine presence, and the life review begins
00:36:00 Key insights: no punitive God, planned lives, contrast, and “we’re all children here”
00:46:40 Immersion in infinite golden light and understanding mutuality of all experience
02:13:00 Writing and service: book plans, burnout, self‑care, and Rick’s closing remarks

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And<00:04:06.280> I<00:04:06.400> would<00:04:06.640> do<00:04:06.840> shots<00:04:07.320> and<00:04:07.480> drink<00:04:08.000> and<00:04:08.280> spit<00:04:08.560> chewing<00:04:08.880> tobacco<00:04:09.720> and<00:04:10.800> talk<00:04:11.080> about<00:04:12.120> all<00:04:12.360> the<00:04:12.480> Vegas<00:04:12.880> trips<00:04:13.320> with<00:04:13.480> the<00:04:13.560> guys<00:04:14.280> and

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you<00:04:15.480> know,<00:04:15.680> I<00:04:15.760> was<00:04:16.000> just<00:04:16.280> somebody<00:04:16.799> who<00:04:17.079> was<00:04:17.359> not<00:04:17.640> spiritual.

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And<00:04:18.720> it<00:04:18.840> was<00:04:19.040> interesting<00:04:19.600> because<00:04:20.079> where<00:04:20.280> I<00:04:20.359> live<00:04:20.640> now,<00:04:22.120> it<00:04:22.440> I<00:04:22.560> would<00:04:22.760> say<00:04:22.880> it's<00:04:23.040> more<00:04:23.320> spiritual.

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It's<00:04:24.960> there's<00:04:25.240> more<00:04:25.520> of<00:04:25.640> an<00:04:25.760> understanding<00:04:26.440> of<00:04:26.560> spirituality,<00:04:27.840> I<00:04:27.960> would<00:04:28.120> say<00:04:28.240> in<00:04:28.320> the<00:04:28.400> Pacific<00:04:28.800> Northwest<00:04:29.400> than<00:04:29.520> where<00:04:29.640> I<00:04:29.720> moved<00:04:29.960> from<00:04:30.320> on<00:04:30.800> back<00:04:31.080> east.

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And<00:04:32.560> I<00:04:32.640> was<00:04:32.800> just<00:04:32.960> opposed<00:04:33.400> to<00:04:33.520> it.<00:04:33.600> I<00:04:33.640> was<00:04:33.800> like,<00:04:34.040> what<00:04:34.200> is<00:04:34.440> this?

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Like,<00:04:35.120> is<00:04:35.280> this<00:04:35.440> your<00:04:35.600> weakness?<00:04:37.000> Um<00:04:37.120> why<00:04:37.240> do<00:04:37.320> you<00:04:37.400> guys<00:04:37.640> talk<00:04:37.880> about<00:04:38.120> this?

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Like,<00:04:38.560> people<00:04:38.840> would<00:04:39.000> come<00:04:39.200> up<00:04:39.360> and<00:04:40.000> I<00:04:40.080> would<00:04:40.280> overhear<00:04:41.680> uh<00:04:41.760> things<00:04:42.120> about<00:04:42.400> astrology<00:04:43.160> or<00:04:43.360> I<00:04:43.400> would<00:04:43.520> overhear<00:04:44.320> things<00:04:44.560> about<00:04:44.800> tarot<00:04:45.080> cards.

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I'm<00:04:45.400> like,<00:04:45.640> what?<00:04:47.120> I<00:04:47.160> used<00:04:47.320> to<00:04:47.400> call<00:04:47.520> it<00:04:47.640> witchcraft.

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If<00:04:49.040> I<00:04:49.080> met<00:04:49.280> a<00:04:49.320> girl<00:04:49.640> who<00:04:49.760> was<00:04:49.919> into<00:04:50.160> these<00:04:50.360> things,<00:04:50.640> I'd<00:04:50.720> be<00:04:50.800> like,<00:04:51.000> "Ooh,<00:04:51.200> witchcraft."

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And<00:04:52.040> I<00:04:52.080> just<00:04:52.320> steer<00:04:52.600> myself<00:04:52.960> away<00:04:53.240> from<00:04:53.520> it.

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And<00:04:54.960> I<00:04:55.080> just<00:04:55.480> always<00:04:55.840> had<00:04:56.080> this<00:04:56.280> chip<00:04:56.560> on<00:04:56.680> my<00:04:56.800> shoulder<00:04:57.400> which<00:04:57.680> was<00:04:59.160> you<00:04:59.240> know,<00:04:59.440> if<00:04:59.600> God<00:04:59.919> really<00:05:00.200> exists,<00:05:00.760> why<00:05:01.000> are<00:05:01.160> you<00:05:01.280> worried<00:05:01.600> about<00:05:01.880> it?

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Like,<00:05:02.840> why<00:05:03.040> are<00:05:03.200> you<00:05:03.360> thinking<00:05:03.800> about<00:05:04.080> it?<00:05:04.200> Like,<00:05:04.480> what<00:05:04.840> what<00:05:05.080> does<00:05:05.280> it<00:05:05.400> matter?

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You're<00:05:05.880> going<00:05:06.360> to<00:05:06.480> die<00:05:07.240> and<00:05:07.400> you're<00:05:07.520> going<00:05:07.680> to<00:05:07.760> meet<00:05:07.960> it<00:05:08.080> anyways.

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So,<00:05:08.800> why<00:05:08.960> are<00:05:09.040> you<00:05:09.160> so<00:05:09.360> worried<00:05:09.680> about<00:05:09.919> it<00:05:10.040> today?<00:05:11.360> And<00:05:11.520> that<00:05:11.680> was<00:05:11.840> my<00:05:12.000> inside<00:05:12.360> joke.

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Why<00:05:13.040> why<00:05:14.120> why<00:05:14.400> go<00:05:14.600> into<00:05:14.840> a<00:05:14.880> building<00:05:15.440> every<00:05:15.720> Sunday?

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Like,<00:05:16.200> what's<00:05:16.360> wrong<00:05:16.600> with<00:05:16.760> you?<00:05:17.400> And<00:05:17.960> I<00:05:18.040> would<00:05:18.240> say<00:05:18.440> if<00:05:18.560> somebody<00:05:18.880> asked<00:05:19.120> me<00:05:19.200> to<00:05:19.280> go<00:05:19.360> to<00:05:19.480> church<00:05:19.760> with<00:05:19.880> them,<00:05:20.120> I<00:05:20.160> would<00:05:20.320> say,<00:05:20.520> "Meet<00:05:20.760> me<00:05:20.880> in<00:05:20.960> the<00:05:21.040> bar<00:05:21.400> when<00:05:21.560> you're<00:05:21.680> done."

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And<00:05:22.680> that's<00:05:22.919> just<00:05:23.120> how<00:05:23.280> I<00:05:23.320> looked<00:05:23.600> at<00:05:23.720> life.<00:05:24.080> I<00:05:24.200> was<00:05:24.400> just<00:05:24.640> irreverent,<00:05:25.520> brash.

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And<00:05:27.440> then<00:05:27.600> sure<00:05:27.840> enough,<00:05:28.800> um<00:05:29.480> I<00:05:29.520> was<00:05:29.680> working<00:05:30.000> on<00:05:30.160> an<00:05:30.360> outdoor<00:05:30.840> project<00:05:31.720> at<00:05:31.880> my<00:05:32.040> house.

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I<00:05:32.480> was<00:05:32.640> on<00:05:32.720> the<00:05:32.800> keto<00:05:33.080> diet.<00:05:33.480> I<00:05:33.560> was<00:05:33.800> intermittent<00:05:34.280> fasting,<00:05:35.280> super<00:05:35.640> health<00:05:35.919> freak.

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And<00:05:37.760> I<00:05:37.800> went<00:05:38.000> to<00:05:38.080> Home<00:05:38.240> Depot<00:05:39.400> um<00:05:39.720> to<00:05:39.840> pick<00:05:40.000> some<00:05:40.200> stuff<00:05:40.520> up<00:05:40.760> and<00:05:40.880> I<00:05:40.919> felt<00:05:41.280> really<00:05:41.640> ill.

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I<00:05:42.160> felt<00:05:42.400> something<00:05:42.760> wash<00:05:43.200> over<00:05:43.440> me<00:05:43.760> like<00:05:44.560> um<00:05:45.680> it's<00:05:45.840> just<00:05:45.960> like<00:05:46.080> a<00:05:46.160> blanket<00:05:46.800> of<00:05:47.040> illness.

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It<00:05:47.840> It<00:05:47.920> was<00:05:48.080> immediate.<00:05:49.440> And<00:05:49.560> I<00:05:49.600> couldn't<00:05:49.840> figure<00:05:50.080> it<00:05:50.240> out<00:05:50.520> and<00:05:50.600> I<00:05:50.680> thought,<00:05:51.000> well,<00:05:51.400> I've<00:05:51.520> only<00:05:51.720> had<00:05:51.840> a<00:05:51.880> cup<00:05:52.080> of<00:05:52.160> coffee<00:05:52.520> today,<00:05:53.040> no<00:05:53.200> big<00:05:53.400> deal.

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I<00:05:54.080> went<00:05:54.320> home,<00:05:54.600> kind<00:05:54.800> of<00:05:54.880> powered<00:05:55.240> through<00:05:55.560> it,<00:05:55.680> was<00:05:55.840> working<00:05:56.200> outside.

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It<00:05:56.960> was<00:05:57.040> now<00:05:57.240> lunchtime.<00:05:57.880> I<00:05:57.920> went<00:05:58.120> to<00:05:58.200> a<00:05:58.280> grocery<00:05:58.640> store<00:05:58.840> and<00:05:58.920> I<00:05:58.960> collapsed.

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I<00:06:00.480> collapsed<00:06:00.880> in<00:06:01.000> the<00:06:01.080> coffee<00:06:01.520> aisle.<00:06:02.480> And<00:06:02.760> about<00:06:03.000> the<00:06:03.080> time<00:06:03.360> I<00:06:03.440> hit<00:06:03.600> the<00:06:03.680> ground,<00:06:04.120> I<00:06:04.160> kind<00:06:04.400> of<00:06:04.480> like<00:06:04.640> snapped<00:06:05.160> to.

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And<00:06:06.640> being<00:06:06.920> the<00:06:07.040> person<00:06:07.400> I<00:06:07.520> was,<00:06:08.160> I<00:06:08.240> knew<00:06:09.360> I<00:06:09.680> never<00:06:10.000> had<00:06:10.240> massive<00:06:10.760> health<00:06:11.000> problems<00:06:11.400> before,<00:06:11.800> I<00:06:11.880> knew<00:06:12.280> something<00:06:12.680> was<00:06:12.880> seriously<00:06:13.360> wrong.

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[sighs]<00:06:15.880> But<00:06:16.000> I<00:06:16.040> didn't<00:06:16.280> know<00:06:16.400> how<00:06:16.600> serious.

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So<00:06:17.800> I<00:06:17.840> got<00:06:18.080> up<00:06:18.240> and<00:06:18.360> I<00:06:18.400> took<00:06:18.600> myself<00:06:18.919> to<00:06:19.000> the<00:06:19.080> emergency<00:06:19.560> room.

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I<00:06:19.919> walked<00:06:20.240> in<00:06:20.360> there.<00:06:22.080> I<00:06:22.200> live<00:06:22.360> in<00:06:22.480> a<00:06:22.560> town<00:06:23.160> of<00:06:23.400> 8<00:06:23.560> or<00:06:23.640> 9,000<00:06:24.200> people<00:06:24.600> and<00:06:24.800> I<00:06:24.880> call<00:06:25.200> it<00:06:26.080> I<00:06:26.200> call<00:06:26.480> our<00:06:26.800> medical<00:06:27.240> care,<00:06:27.480> it's<00:06:27.600> actually<00:06:28.120> the

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town<00:06:28.520> joke.<00:06:29.120> The<00:06:29.200> medical<00:06:29.560> care<00:06:29.840> here<00:06:30.040> is<00:06:30.160> just<00:06:30.360> keep<00:06:30.600> you<00:06:30.680> alive<00:06:31.120> medical<00:06:31.480> care<00:06:31.880> 'cuz<00:06:32.520> they<00:06:33.200> they'll<00:06:33.600> they'll<00:06:33.800> even<00:06:34.040> misdiagnose<00:06:35.200> a<00:06:35.280> broken<00:06:35.680> leg.

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It's<00:06:36.320> that<00:06:36.480> bad.<00:06:37.800> So,<00:06:38.560> I<00:06:38.720> walk<00:06:39.040> in<00:06:39.200> and<00:06:39.280> they<00:06:39.400> look<00:06:39.600> at<00:06:39.680> me,<00:06:39.840> well,<00:06:39.960> you're<00:06:40.080> walking,<00:06:40.680> you're<00:06:40.840> fine.

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I'm<00:06:41.080> trying<00:06:41.280> to<00:06:41.360> describe,<00:06:41.960> I<00:06:42.000> can't<00:06:42.200> feel<00:06:42.320> my<00:06:42.480> arms,<00:06:42.760> I<00:06:42.800> can't<00:06:43.000> feel<00:06:43.120> my<00:06:43.240> legs,<00:06:43.800> my<00:06:44.080> head's<00:06:44.440> woozy.

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And<00:06:45.240> they're<00:06:45.360> looking<00:06:45.600> at<00:06:45.720> me,<00:06:45.840> well,<00:06:46.000> you're<00:06:46.160> walking<00:06:46.560> and<00:06:46.680> talking,<00:06:47.120> so<00:06:47.280> you<00:06:47.440> must<00:06:47.680> not<00:06:47.880> be<00:06:48.040> that<00:06:48.240> bad.

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And<00:06:49.800> they<00:06:49.880> ran<00:06:50.080> a<00:06:50.120> battery<00:06:50.480> of<00:06:50.600> tests<00:06:50.919> and<00:06:51.000> nothing<00:06:51.280> came<00:06:51.480> back.

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And<00:06:52.520> the<00:06:52.680> ER<00:06:52.960> doctor<00:06:53.320> said,<00:06:53.520> well,<00:06:53.680> you're<00:06:53.880> having<00:06:54.280> an<00:06:54.400> allergic<00:06:54.840> reaction.

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And<00:06:55.520> I<00:06:55.560> said,<00:06:56.320> not<00:06:56.520> an<00:06:56.600> allergic<00:06:57.000> reaction<00:06:57.480> because<00:06:57.720> all<00:06:57.840> I've<00:06:57.960> had<00:06:58.120> is<00:06:58.240> a<00:06:58.280> cup<00:06:58.440> of<00:06:58.520> coffee<00:06:58.840> today.

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So,<00:07:00.360> they<00:07:00.480> sent<00:07:00.680> me<00:07:00.840> home.<00:07:01.440> For<00:07:01.560> the<00:07:01.640> next<00:07:01.919> week,<00:07:02.160> and<00:07:02.280> I'm<00:07:02.520> working<00:07:02.880> from<00:07:03.040> home<00:07:03.280> at<00:07:03.360> the<00:07:03.480> time,<00:07:03.720> so<00:07:03.840> I<00:07:03.880> didn't<00:07:04.040> have<00:07:04.200> to<00:07:04.320> leave<00:07:04.480> the<00:07:04.600> house<00:07:04.880> much.

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For<00:07:06.200> the<00:07:06.280> next<00:07:06.600> week,<00:07:06.880> I<00:07:06.960> was<00:07:07.120> paranoid.<00:07:07.960> I<00:07:08.000> was<00:07:08.120> like,<00:07:08.280> something's<00:07:08.840> wrong.

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I<00:07:09.320> felt<00:07:09.640> off,<00:07:09.960> I<00:07:10.000> felt<00:07:10.320> weaker,<00:07:10.919> I<00:07:10.960> wasn't<00:07:11.280> sleeping<00:07:11.720> well.

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I<00:07:12.560> seemed<00:07:12.919> to<00:07:13.000> be<00:07:13.120> getting<00:07:13.360> sicker.<00:07:14.000> And<00:07:14.160> like,<00:07:14.600> I<00:07:14.760> just<00:07:15.240> do<00:07:15.520> not<00:07:15.760> feel<00:07:16.040> well.

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It<00:07:16.760> felt<00:07:16.960> like<00:07:17.120> something<00:07:17.520> I'd<00:07:17.640> never<00:07:17.880> felt<00:07:18.160> before.

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The<00:07:19.560> following<00:07:20.040> weekend,<00:07:20.520> it<00:07:20.600> happened<00:07:20.919> again.<00:07:21.280> I<00:07:21.360> felt<00:07:21.640> that<00:07:21.880> same<00:07:22.400> feeling<00:07:22.880> wash<00:07:23.240> over<00:07:23.520> me<00:07:23.640> and<00:07:23.760> start<00:07:24.000> to<00:07:24.080> come<00:07:24.320> on<00:07:24.480> again.

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And<00:07:25.080> I<00:07:25.120> was<00:07:25.280> like,<00:07:25.480> uh-oh.<00:07:26.280> And<00:07:26.680> I<00:07:26.800> lived<00:07:27.960> at<00:07:28.120> the<00:07:28.200> time<00:07:28.520> about<00:07:28.840> 3/4<00:07:29.400> of<00:07:29.480> a<00:07:29.560> mile<00:07:29.840> from<00:07:30.000> the<00:07:30.080> hospital.

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So,<00:07:30.840> I<00:07:30.880> just<00:07:31.520> jumped<00:07:31.840> in<00:07:31.919> the<00:07:32.000> truck<00:07:32.320> and<00:07:32.440> went.

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Sure<00:07:33.520> enough,<00:07:33.880> same<00:07:34.200> nurse,<00:07:34.640> same<00:07:34.919> everything.

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You<00:07:36.240> know,<00:07:36.440> you're<00:07:36.560> back<00:07:36.880> again,<00:07:37.440> you<00:07:37.560> know,<00:07:37.720> kind<00:07:37.960> of<00:07:38.040> thing.

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And<00:07:39.400> this<00:07:39.600> time,<00:07:40.400> uh,<00:07:40.919> a<00:07:41.000> marker<00:07:41.400> came<00:07:41.600> back<00:07:41.880> in<00:07:41.960> the<00:07:42.040> blood<00:07:42.320> and<00:07:42.440> they<00:07:42.560> said<00:07:42.840> it<00:07:43.080> my<00:07:43.440> my<00:07:43.640> blood<00:07:43.960> was<00:07:44.160> acidic.

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And<00:07:46.160> I<00:07:46.280> didn't<00:07:46.560> know<00:07:46.680> it<00:07:46.800> at<00:07:46.880> the<00:07:47.000> time,<00:07:47.440> but<00:07:47.960> that<00:07:48.240> was<00:07:48.520> a<00:07:48.840> apparently<00:07:49.360> a<00:07:49.440> big<00:07:49.680> marker<00:07:50.320> that<00:07:50.480> they<00:07:50.640> missed.

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And<00:07:51.480> they<00:07:51.800> attributed<00:07:52.880> my<00:07:53.360> acidic<00:07:53.840> blood<00:07:54.360> to<00:07:54.520> the<00:07:54.640> ketosis<00:07:55.480> that<00:07:55.640> I<00:07:55.680> apparently<00:07:56.200> was<00:07:56.480> in<00:07:56.800> from<00:07:56.960> the<00:07:57.080> ketogenic<00:07:57.680> diet.

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Well,<00:07:59.160> it<00:07:59.280> turns<00:07:59.640> out<00:08:00.640> that<00:08:00.920> isn't<00:08:01.160> completely<00:08:01.680> true.

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Um,<00:08:03.520> it<00:08:03.680> can<00:08:04.200> appear<00:08:04.600> I<00:08:04.760> guess<00:08:05.840> uh,<00:08:06.000> increase<00:08:06.520> the<00:08:06.680> acid<00:08:07.000> profile<00:08:07.560> in<00:08:07.680> your<00:08:07.800> blood,<00:08:08.280> but<00:08:08.960> what<00:08:09.120> was<00:08:09.320> really<00:08:09.600> happening<00:08:10.160> was<00:08:11.600> I

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was<00:08:12.360> let<00:08:12.560> out<00:08:12.680> again<00:08:13.080> and<00:08:13.200> it<00:08:13.280> turned<00:08:13.560> out<00:08:13.680> to<00:08:13.760> be<00:08:13.880> sepsis.

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And<00:08:16.640> sepsis<00:08:17.120> is<00:08:17.360> a<00:08:17.960> blood<00:08:18.240> infection.

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Yeah.<00:08:19.480> It<00:08:19.720> as<00:08:19.919> far<00:08:20.120> as<00:08:20.240> I<00:08:20.320> know<00:08:20.560> it's<00:08:20.720> a<00:08:20.800> bacterial<00:08:21.560> infection<00:08:22.440> that<00:08:22.600> seeps<00:08:22.880> into<00:08:23.200> everywhere<00:08:23.680> in<00:08:23.840> your<00:08:24.040> in<00:08:24.200> your<00:08:24.320> body.

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Yeah.<00:08:26.800> It<00:08:26.880> could<00:08:27.000> be<00:08:27.120> in<00:08:27.240> your<00:08:27.400> abdominal<00:08:28.000> cavity<00:08:28.440> and<00:08:28.560> all<00:08:28.720> over<00:08:28.880> the<00:08:28.960> place.

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It<00:08:29.600> can<00:08:29.720> be<00:08:30.080> in<00:08:30.240> three<00:08:30.520> stages.<00:08:31.320> I<00:08:31.440> was<00:08:32.360> I<00:08:32.479> guess<00:08:32.760> I<00:08:32.840> was<00:08:33.000> in<00:08:33.120> stage<00:08:33.599> two<00:08:34.080> at<00:08:34.280> that<00:08:34.479> time<00:08:34.800> from<00:08:35.039> collapsing.

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So,<00:08:36.840> I<00:08:36.880> went<00:08:37.120> home<00:08:37.719> and<00:08:37.919> then<00:08:38.400> the<00:08:38.520> next<00:08:38.880> day<00:08:39.560> I<00:08:39.680> fell<00:08:40.000> off<00:08:40.240> a<00:08:40.280> cliff<00:08:40.760> physically.

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And<00:08:42.080> I<00:08:42.120> was<00:08:42.280> half<00:08:42.520> a<00:08:42.599> germaphobe<00:08:43.479> at<00:08:43.680> the<00:08:43.800> time,<00:08:44.160> so<00:08:44.320> I<00:08:44.360> figured<00:08:44.720> I<00:08:44.760> had<00:08:44.880> just<00:08:45.040> picked<00:08:45.280> up<00:08:45.680> COVID<00:08:46.440> for<00:08:46.600> being<00:08:46.839> in<00:08:46.960> the<00:08:47.120> ER<00:08:47.520> twice.

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Like<00:08:48.880> being<00:08:49.120> in<00:08:49.240> the<00:08:49.400> ER<00:08:50.560> once<00:08:50.920> a<00:08:51.000> year<00:08:51.400> was<00:08:51.600> a<00:08:51.640> pain<00:08:51.960> for<00:08:52.080> me,<00:08:52.320> but<00:08:52.480> now<00:08:52.720> I<00:08:52.760> was<00:08:52.920> there<00:08:53.080> twice<00:08:53.400> in<00:08:53.520> 2<00:08:53.640> weeks.

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So,<00:08:55.960> uh,<00:08:56.080> I<00:08:56.200> figured<00:08:56.520> well,<00:08:56.760> I<00:08:56.800> have<00:08:56.960> COVID.

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I'm<00:08:57.640> going<00:08:57.760> to<00:08:57.839> power<00:08:58.160> through<00:08:58.480> it.<00:08:58.960> You<00:08:59.040> know,<00:08:59.680> my<00:08:59.839> body<00:09:00.160> temperature<00:09:00.600> started<00:09:00.960> to<00:09:01.080> change<00:09:01.839> at<00:09:02.000> least<00:09:02.320> felt<00:09:02.640> like<00:09:02.839> it<00:09:02.960> was<00:09:03.120> changing.

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So,<00:09:03.720> I<00:09:03.760> was<00:09:03.920> bundling<00:09:04.520> up.<00:09:04.800> It<00:09:04.960> was<00:09:05.120> 70°<00:09:05.880> outside<00:09:06.480> in<00:09:06.600> May,<00:09:07.040> end<00:09:07.280> of<00:09:07.400> May.

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And<00:09:08.640> I<00:09:08.720> just<00:09:09.320> started<00:09:09.800> to<00:09:09.920> not<00:09:10.200> be<00:09:10.320> able<00:09:10.520> to<00:09:10.600> control<00:09:10.920> my<00:09:11.040> body<00:09:11.360> temperature,<00:09:12.200> the<00:09:12.360> feeling<00:09:12.800> of<00:09:12.920> my<00:09:13.040> body<00:09:13.320> temperature.

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Then<00:09:14.800> over<00:09:14.920> the<00:09:15.040> next<00:09:15.280> week<00:09:15.640> my<00:09:15.839> hair<00:09:16.080> started<00:09:16.480> falling<00:09:16.839> out.

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My<00:09:17.320> eyesight<00:09:17.839> started<00:09:18.240> going.<00:09:18.920> Uh,<00:09:18.960> I<00:09:19.000> was<00:09:19.160> having<00:09:19.360> trouble<00:09:19.800> eating.

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I<00:09:20.320> was<00:09:20.520> I<00:09:20.600> couldn't<00:09:20.839> digest<00:09:21.440> anything.<00:09:22.440> Um,<00:09:22.800> I<00:09:22.920> just<00:09:23.360> getting<00:09:23.760> weaker<00:09:24.240> and<00:09:24.360> weaker.

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I<00:09:24.720> would<00:09:24.880> let<00:09:25.080> my<00:09:25.320> I<00:09:25.400> used<00:09:25.640> to<00:09:25.680> go<00:09:25.839> outside<00:09:26.240> with<00:09:26.360> my<00:09:26.520> dog<00:09:27.000> every<00:09:27.160> time<00:09:27.400> I'd<00:09:27.480> let<00:09:27.640> him<00:09:27.800> out<00:09:28.040> in<00:09:28.120> the<00:09:28.200> backyard.

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I<00:09:28.800> had<00:09:28.880> a<00:09:28.920> big<00:09:29.160> fenced<00:09:29.480> backyard.<00:09:31.400> And<00:09:31.560> I<00:09:31.600> was<00:09:31.839> not<00:09:32.040> even<00:09:32.240> interested.

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I<00:09:32.800> just<00:09:33.040> opened<00:09:33.240> the<00:09:33.320> door<00:09:33.680> and<00:09:33.839> I'd<00:09:33.920> just<00:09:34.280> leave<00:09:34.520> it<00:09:34.640> open<00:09:34.920> for<00:09:35.040> him<00:09:35.200> to<00:09:35.280> come<00:09:35.440> back.

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And<00:09:37.040> everything<00:09:37.520> changed.<00:09:38.000> I<00:09:38.040> started<00:09:38.320> sleeping<00:09:38.880> more<00:09:39.120> and<00:09:39.240> more<00:09:39.480> and<00:09:39.600> more,<00:09:40.240> and<00:09:40.360> it<00:09:40.440> was<00:09:40.640> just<00:09:41.200> getting<00:09:41.560> awful.

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I<00:09:41.920> would<00:09:42.040> have<00:09:42.280> like<00:09:42.520> half<00:09:42.840> my<00:09:43.000> face<00:09:43.440> swell.

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Actually<00:09:44.400> have<00:09:44.520> a<00:09:44.640> picture.<00:09:45.160> I<00:09:45.200> don't<00:09:45.360> think<00:09:45.520> I'll<00:09:45.720> ever<00:09:45.960> release<00:09:46.400> it,<00:09:46.560> but<00:09:46.760> it<00:09:46.880> was<00:09:47.040> 3<00:09:47.280> days<00:09:47.600> before<00:09:47.960> the<00:09:48.080> event,<00:09:48.520> and<00:09:48.640> it<00:09:48.760> looked<00:09:49.040> like<00:09:49.880> just<00:09:50.160> look<00:09:50.360> awful.

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And<00:09:52.200> sure<00:09:52.360> enough,<00:09:52.800> about<00:09:53.160> a<00:09:53.200> week<00:09:53.480> later,<00:09:55.240> it<00:09:55.400> was<00:09:55.600> bad<00:09:55.880> enough<00:09:56.400> to<00:09:56.560> where<00:09:56.880> I<00:09:56.960> was<00:09:57.200> so<00:09:57.480> cold.

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I<00:09:57.960> had<00:09:58.080> the<00:09:58.160> heat<00:09:58.400> on<00:09:58.560> in<00:09:58.640> the<00:09:58.720> house.<00:09:59.040> I<00:09:59.080> was<00:09:59.200> wearing<00:09:59.440> heavy<00:09:59.720> wool<00:09:59.920> socks,<00:10:00.560> heavy<00:10:00.800> sweatpants,<00:10:01.440> heavy<00:10:01.720> hoodie,<00:10:02.480> and<00:10:02.560> I<00:10:02.600> was<00:10:02.720> bundled<00:10:03.120> up<00:10:03.240> under<00:10:03.480> blankets,<00:10:04.160> and<00:10:04.320> I'm

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like<00:10:06.040> I<00:10:06.120> was<00:10:06.280> not<00:10:06.480> a<00:10:06.600> huge<00:10:07.120> believer<00:10:07.680> in<00:10:07.800> COVID<00:10:08.240> at<00:10:08.360> the<00:10:08.480> time,<00:10:08.760> and<00:10:08.840> I<00:10:08.880> thought,<00:10:09.160> "Wow,<00:10:09.440> this<00:10:09.760> this<00:10:10.000> is<00:10:10.160> really<00:10:10.560> kicking<00:10:11.000> my<00:10:11.480> rear<00:10:11.800> end."

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And<00:10:13.200> I<00:10:13.280> thought,<00:10:13.480> "This<00:10:13.720> is<00:10:13.960> real."<00:10:15.160> Well,<00:10:15.760> what<00:10:15.960> I<00:10:16.000> didn't<00:10:16.240> know<00:10:16.600> is<00:10:16.840> it<00:10:17.080> wasn't<00:10:17.640> COVID,<00:10:18.320> and<00:10:19.200> the<00:10:19.320> next<00:10:19.760> I<00:10:19.840> think<00:10:20.040> it<00:10:20.080> was<00:10:20.240> the<00:10:20.360> next<00:10:20.680> day,<00:10:22.320> that

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evening,<00:10:23.120> around<00:10:23.480> 5:00,<00:10:24.000> I<00:10:24.040> think<00:10:24.200> it<00:10:24.240> was<00:10:24.360> like<00:10:24.600> 4:00<00:10:24.960> or<00:10:25.040> 5:00<00:10:25.480> at<00:10:25.680> night,<00:10:26.840> um<00:10:26.920> my<00:10:27.080> entire<00:10:27.480> body<00:10:27.760> was<00:10:27.920> yellow.

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I<00:10:28.560> didn't<00:10:28.720> even<00:10:28.920> realize<00:10:29.360> it.<00:10:29.440> I<00:10:29.480> was<00:10:29.600> sitting<00:10:29.880> on<00:10:29.960> the<00:10:30.040> couch,<00:10:30.360> and<00:10:30.480> I<00:10:30.520> had<00:10:30.640> to<00:10:30.760> get<00:10:30.960> up,<00:10:31.160> and<00:10:32.040> went<00:10:32.280> to<00:10:32.400> use<00:10:32.600> the<00:10:32.680> bathroom,<00:10:33.280> and<00:10:33.400> I<00:10:33.520> looked<00:10:33.840> into<00:10:34.000> the<00:10:34.120> mirror,<00:10:34.400> and<00:10:34.480> I

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was<00:10:34.640> like,<00:10:34.960> "Whoa."<00:10:35.720> And<00:10:35.960> everything<00:10:36.440> was<00:10:36.560> yellow.

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Just<00:10:37.520> everything.<00:10:38.080> Like<00:10:38.280> even<00:10:38.520> like<00:10:39.080> under<00:10:39.320> your<00:10:39.440> fingernails.

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Like<00:10:40.440> every<00:10:40.800> part<00:10:41.080> of<00:10:41.200> me<00:10:41.360> was<00:10:41.520> yellow.<00:10:41.800> I<00:10:41.839> dropped<00:10:42.280> my<00:10:42.520> trousers,<00:10:43.240> and<00:10:43.760> everything<00:10:44.360> was<00:10:44.560> yellow.

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And<00:10:46.400> I<00:10:46.560> thought<00:10:46.920> to<00:10:47.000> myself,<00:10:48.160> "Well,<00:10:49.520> um<00:10:50.400> I<00:10:50.440> don't<00:10:50.720> feel<00:10:51.080> worse."

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And<00:10:53.200> I<00:10:53.240> would<00:10:53.680> you<00:10:53.760> know,<00:10:53.920> the<00:10:54.040> weird<00:10:54.280> thing<00:10:54.480> was<00:10:54.680> I<00:10:54.720> was<00:10:54.880> so<00:10:55.040> worried<00:10:55.280> about<00:10:55.520> collapsing<00:10:56.120> because<00:10:56.400> when<00:10:56.560> I<00:10:56.640> collapsed,<00:10:57.280> I<00:10:57.320> noticed<00:10:57.560> my<00:10:57.680> breathing<00:10:58.200> changed,<00:10:59.120> and<00:10:59.240> I<00:10:59.280> was

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having<00:10:59.680> shortness<00:11:00.160> of<00:11:00.280> breath,<00:11:00.839> and<00:11:01.000> that<00:11:01.240> was<00:11:01.400> my<00:11:01.560> main<00:11:02.000> focus.

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Like<00:11:02.560> I<00:11:02.640> don't<00:11:02.960> want<00:11:03.080> to<00:11:03.160> lose<00:11:03.480> breath.<00:11:04.520> And<00:11:04.680> in<00:11:04.800> this<00:11:05.040> moment<00:11:05.480> being<00:11:05.720> yellow,<00:11:06.160> it<00:11:06.320> wasn't<00:11:06.560> affecting<00:11:06.920> my<00:11:07.080> breathing,<00:11:07.480> so<00:11:07.600> I<00:11:07.640> just<00:11:08.000> didn't<00:11:08.320> really<00:11:08.560> think<00:11:08.800> much<00:11:09.000> about

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it.<00:11:10.280> And<00:11:10.440> I<00:11:10.480> went<00:11:10.680> to<00:11:10.720> bed,<00:11:11.000> and<00:11:11.120> I<00:11:11.360> I<00:11:11.480> figured<00:11:11.839> if<00:11:12.000> I<00:11:12.080> feel<00:11:12.360> worse<00:11:12.640> in<00:11:12.720> the<00:11:12.800> morning,<00:11:13.160> I'll<00:11:13.280> just<00:11:13.520> call<00:11:14.000> ambulance,<00:11:14.560> call<00:11:14.760> the<00:11:14.839> emergency<00:11:15.400> room,<00:11:15.640> get<00:11:15.839> a<00:11:15.920> ride,<00:11:16.600> do<00:11:16.760> whatever.

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And<00:11:18.160> sure<00:11:18.400> enough,<00:11:18.800> that<00:11:19.080> night,<00:11:19.720> I<00:11:19.839> woke<00:11:20.120> up<00:11:20.280> at<00:11:20.440> 4:30<00:11:20.960> in<00:11:21.040> the<00:11:21.120> morning,<00:11:21.720> and<00:11:22.040> I<00:11:22.160> was<00:11:23.480> something<00:11:24.160> else,<00:11:24.600> somewhere<00:11:25.160> else<00:11:25.520> in<00:11:25.600> a<00:11:25.680> way.

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Um<00:11:27.160> when<00:11:27.360> I<00:11:27.440> opened<00:11:27.720> my<00:11:27.960> eyes,<00:11:28.280> I<00:11:28.839> At<00:11:29.000> that<00:11:29.160> point,<00:11:29.360> I<00:11:29.400> was<00:11:29.600> sleeping<00:11:30.160> till<00:11:30.880> almost<00:11:31.280> noon<00:11:31.839> every<00:11:32.080> day.

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I<00:11:32.520> was<00:11:32.720> so<00:11:32.960> sick.<00:11:34.120> So,<00:11:34.200> to<00:11:34.320> be<00:11:34.520> up<00:11:34.680> at<00:11:34.800> 4:30<00:11:35.280> in<00:11:35.320> the<00:11:35.400> morning,<00:11:35.720> I<00:11:35.760> was<00:11:35.880> like,<00:11:36.120> "What<00:11:36.480> the<00:11:36.680> hell<00:11:36.960> am<00:11:37.120> I<00:11:37.160> doing<00:11:37.440> awake?"

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I<00:11:38.160> was<00:11:38.280> looking<00:11:38.560> at<00:11:38.680> my<00:11:38.800> cell<00:11:39.080> phone<00:11:39.320> like,<00:11:39.520> "Are<00:11:39.640> you<00:11:39.760> kidding<00:11:40.120> me?"

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So,<00:11:42.160> when<00:11:42.360> I<00:11:42.600> went<00:11:42.840> to<00:11:43.000> roll<00:11:43.240> out<00:11:43.360> of<00:11:43.440> bed,<00:11:43.760> I<00:11:43.800> put<00:11:43.960> my<00:11:44.120> legs<00:11:44.440> off<00:11:44.600> the<00:11:44.720> edge<00:11:44.880> of<00:11:44.960> the<00:11:45.040> bed,<00:11:45.240> and<00:11:45.320> I<00:11:45.360> tried<00:11:45.560> to<00:11:45.680> stand<00:11:46.000> up,<00:11:46.160> and<00:11:46.280> when<00:11:46.400> I<00:11:46.440> did,<00:11:46.640> I<00:11:46.720> fell.

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I<00:11:47.520> fell<00:11:47.760> right<00:11:47.920> into<00:11:48.080> the<00:11:48.200> wall.<00:11:48.480> My<00:11:48.640> bed<00:11:48.800> was<00:11:48.960> only<00:11:49.120> about<00:11:49.320> 3<00:11:49.520> ft<00:11:49.760> from<00:11:49.920> the<00:11:50.000> wall,<00:11:50.400> and<00:11:50.520> I<00:11:50.560> caught<00:11:50.800> myself.

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I<00:11:52.320> was<00:11:52.440> like,<00:11:52.640> "Uh-oh,<00:11:52.960> something's<00:11:53.440> wrong."<00:11:53.760> And<00:11:53.920> it<00:11:54.000> was<00:11:54.120> like<00:11:54.960> I<00:11:55.160> I<00:11:55.200> describe<00:11:55.640> it<00:11:55.720> as<00:11:56.320> if<00:11:56.520> you<00:11:56.600> have<00:11:56.720> a<00:11:56.800> small<00:11:57.320> LCD<00:11:57.840> TV<00:11:58.200> screen,<00:11:58.600> and<00:11:58.720> you<00:11:58.840> take<00:11:59.080> two<00:11:59.240> hands,<00:11:59.560> and<00:11:59.680> you

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just<00:12:00.040> move<00:12:00.480> it<00:12:00.680> around<00:12:01.200> with<00:12:01.360> your<00:12:01.560> hands.

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It<00:12:03.400> felt<00:12:03.800> It<00:12:03.960> wasn't<00:12:04.240> like<00:12:04.440> the<00:12:04.560> spins<00:12:05.160> if<00:12:05.320> you've<00:12:05.480> had<00:12:05.720> too<00:12:05.800> much<00:12:06.040> to<00:12:06.160> drink,<00:12:06.560> or<00:12:06.680> if<00:12:06.800> you're<00:12:06.920> seasick<00:12:07.480> or<00:12:07.560> something.

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It<00:12:08.120> was<00:12:08.240> like<00:12:08.520> reality<00:12:09.120> was<00:12:09.320> being<00:12:09.600> moved.

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And<00:12:11.480> I<00:12:11.560> thought,<00:12:11.800> "Well,<00:12:11.920> that's<00:12:12.160> strange.<00:12:12.680> That's<00:12:12.880> really<00:12:13.120> weird."

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And<00:12:14.480> I<00:12:14.560> tried<00:12:14.800> to<00:12:14.880> make<00:12:15.040> my<00:12:15.160> way<00:12:15.280> to<00:12:15.400> the<00:12:15.480> bathroom.

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It<00:12:16.920> was<00:12:17.960> maybe<00:12:18.280> 15<00:12:18.800> ft.

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[sighs]<00:12:19.920> I<00:12:19.960> had<00:12:20.080> to<00:12:20.200> go<00:12:20.440> down<00:12:20.720> a<00:12:20.760> short<00:12:21.080> hallway<00:12:21.480> and<00:12:21.600> make<00:12:21.760> a<00:12:21.800> right<00:12:22.000> into<00:12:22.160> the<00:12:22.280> bathroom.

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And<00:12:23.320> as<00:12:23.520> I<00:12:23.560> started<00:12:23.960> to<00:12:24.080> walk,<00:12:24.440> I<00:12:25.040> my<00:12:25.240> legs<00:12:26.160> weren't<00:12:26.440> really<00:12:26.640> working<00:12:27.000> too<00:12:27.160> well,<00:12:27.400> and<00:12:27.520> I<00:12:27.840> I<00:12:27.960> couldn't<00:12:28.240> feel<00:12:28.520> them.

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That<00:12:28.920> was<00:12:29.280> the<00:12:29.440> weird<00:12:29.760> part.<00:12:30.040> It's<00:12:30.200> like<00:12:30.360> I<00:12:30.440> couldn't<00:12:30.720> really<00:12:30.960> feel<00:12:31.240> my<00:12:31.360> legs.

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And<00:12:32.720> as<00:12:32.880> I<00:12:32.920> was<00:12:33.120> making<00:12:33.360> my<00:12:33.480> way<00:12:33.600> to<00:12:33.720> the<00:12:33.800> bathroom,<00:12:34.280> I<00:12:34.320> was<00:12:34.520> like,<00:12:34.880> "What<00:12:35.040> is<00:12:35.200> going<00:12:35.520> on?"

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And<00:12:35.960> I<00:12:36.000> looked<00:12:36.280> down,<00:12:36.480> and<00:12:36.600> I'm<00:12:36.720> dragging<00:12:37.280> my<00:12:37.440> right<00:12:37.680> leg.

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It's<00:12:38.213> just<00:12:38.466> like<00:12:38.719> this<00:12:38.973> lump<00:12:39.226> that<00:12:39.479> I'm<00:12:39.732> just<00:12:39.985> kind<00:12:40.238> of<00:12:40.491> like<00:12:40.745> placing,<00:12:40.998> and<00:12:41.251> it's<00:12:41.504> not<00:12:41.757> really<00:12:42.010> working,<00:12:42.263> and<00:12:42.517> I<00:12:42.770> can't<00:12:43.023> feel<00:12:43.276> it,<00:12:43.529> and<00:12:43.782> I'm<00:12:44.035> like,<00:12:44.289> uh<00:12:44.542> [sighs<00:12:44.795> and<00:12:45.048> gasps]

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I<00:12:45.880> At<00:12:46.000> that<00:12:46.160> moment,<00:12:46.480> I<00:12:46.520> was<00:12:46.640> just<00:12:46.800> like,<00:12:47.000> "Whatever.<00:12:48.040> Um<00:12:48.400> just<00:12:48.600> keep<00:12:48.760> going."

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That<00:12:50.440> was<00:12:50.560> my<00:12:50.680> mentality<00:12:51.280> in<00:12:51.400> life.<00:12:51.720> It<00:12:51.839> was<00:12:52.000> like,<00:12:52.200> "If<00:12:52.320> it's<00:12:52.480> not<00:12:52.680> killing<00:12:53.080> you<00:12:53.240> right<00:12:53.480> now,<00:12:53.720> just<00:12:53.920> keep<00:12:54.120> going.

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Why<00:12:54.560> are<00:12:54.640> you<00:12:54.760> stopping?"<00:12:55.600> It's<00:12:55.680> like<00:12:56.320> um<00:12:57.040> I<00:12:57.160> used<00:12:57.360> to<00:12:57.440> say<00:12:57.560> that<00:12:57.760> to<00:12:57.839> people<00:12:58.160> at<00:12:58.280> work,<00:12:58.520> "Why<00:12:58.640> are<00:12:58.760> you<00:12:58.920> stopping?

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There's<00:13:00.000> oxygen<00:13:00.520> everywhere.<00:13:00.960> Keep<00:13:01.200> moving."

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And<00:13:02.960> uh<00:13:03.920> So,<00:13:04.120> I<00:13:04.200> make<00:13:04.440> it<00:13:04.520> to<00:13:04.640> the<00:13:04.760> bathroom<00:13:05.240> door<00:13:05.520> frame,<00:13:06.080> and<00:13:06.520> I<00:13:06.560> look<00:13:06.800> at<00:13:06.920> the<00:13:07.040> sink,<00:13:07.400> and<00:13:07.480> it's<00:13:07.640> I<00:13:07.680> don't<00:13:07.839> know,<00:13:08.000> 6<00:13:08.280> 7<00:13:08.560> ft<00:13:08.760> away,<00:13:09.160> and<00:13:09.280> I'm<00:13:09.480> feeling<00:13:10.839> I'm

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feeling<00:13:11.400> like<00:13:11.600> I'm<00:13:11.680> going<00:13:12.000> down,<00:13:12.640> and<00:13:13.040> I<00:13:13.120> just<00:13:13.360> said<00:13:13.560> to<00:13:13.640> myself,<00:13:14.080> "Just<00:13:14.760> dive<00:13:15.120> for<00:13:15.360> it.

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Just<00:13:15.960> fall<00:13:16.320> into<00:13:16.560> it."<00:13:17.040> So,<00:13:17.240> I<00:13:17.280> did.

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I<00:13:17.960> took<00:13:18.200> like<00:13:18.400> a<00:13:18.480> couple<00:13:18.839> shuffles,<00:13:19.480> and<00:13:19.600> just<00:13:19.760> kind<00:13:19.960> of<00:13:20.080> caught<00:13:20.400> myself<00:13:21.040> on<00:13:21.200> the<00:13:21.280> sink.

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And<00:13:22.640> when<00:13:22.760> I<00:13:22.839> did,<00:13:23.080> I<00:13:23.120> looked<00:13:23.360> down<00:13:23.520> at<00:13:23.600> my<00:13:23.760> hands,<00:13:24.200> and<00:13:24.280> they<00:13:24.400> were<00:13:24.520> completely<00:13:26.120> just<00:13:26.440> empty.

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There<00:13:27.280> It's<00:13:27.480> like<00:13:27.680> all<00:13:27.880> the<00:13:28.000> fluid<00:13:28.720> had<00:13:29.040> leaked<00:13:29.520> out<00:13:30.080> of<00:13:31.480> probably<00:13:31.960> most<00:13:32.240> of<00:13:32.280> my<00:13:32.400> body<00:13:32.760> at<00:13:32.880> that<00:13:33.040> point,<00:13:33.240> but<00:13:33.400> I<00:13:33.440> couldn't<00:13:33.720> see<00:13:33.920> it<00:13:34.800> cuz<00:13:34.920> my<00:13:35.040> hands

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were<00:13:35.400> the<00:13:35.520> only<00:13:35.680> thing<00:13:35.880> sticking<00:13:36.280> out<00:13:36.360> of<00:13:36.440> this<00:13:36.600> black<00:13:37.240> hoodie,<00:13:37.760> this<00:13:37.880> thick<00:13:38.240> black<00:13:38.480> hoodie.

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They're<00:13:39.480> just<00:13:39.640> completely<00:13:40.120> gray,<00:13:40.640> no<00:13:40.800> fluid,<00:13:41.640> just<00:13:42.000> skin<00:13:42.640> hanging.

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And<00:13:43.240> I<00:13:43.320> thought<00:13:43.840> I<00:13:43.960> thought<00:13:44.240> to<00:13:44.320> myself,<00:13:44.680> "Wow,<00:13:44.920> what<00:13:45.080> a<00:13:45.120> weird<00:13:45.440> hallucination."

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Strange.<00:13:47.800> I<00:13:47.880> must<00:13:48.080> have<00:13:48.200> had<00:13:48.280> like<00:13:48.400> a<00:13:48.480> really<00:13:48.840> bad<00:13:49.160> fever<00:13:49.480> or<00:13:49.520> something.

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But<00:13:51.360> all<00:13:51.520> week<00:13:51.760> I'd<00:13:51.880> been<00:13:52.040> checking<00:13:52.400> my<00:13:52.520> temperature<00:13:52.960> and<00:13:53.040> it<00:13:53.080> was<00:13:53.200> always<00:13:53.440> 97.1.

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I<00:13:54.320> couldn't<00:13:54.560> explain<00:13:55.040> it.<00:13:55.120> I<00:13:55.200> felt<00:13:55.440> like<00:13:55.600> I<00:13:55.680> would<00:13:55.800> have<00:13:56.120> had<00:13:56.160> the<00:13:56.320> worst<00:13:57.000> fever<00:13:57.480> ever<00:13:58.320> and<00:13:58.480> it<00:13:58.600> was<00:13:58.760> 97.1.

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It<00:13:59.760> wasn't<00:14:00.760> um<00:14:01.240> shifting<00:14:01.640> at<00:14:01.760> all.

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My<00:14:02.080> blood<00:14:02.440> pressure<00:14:02.840> was<00:14:03.040> all<00:14:03.200> over<00:14:03.360> the<00:14:03.440> place.

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I<00:14:03.760> had<00:14:03.840> a<00:14:03.880> blood<00:14:04.200> pressure<00:14:04.480> machine.<00:14:04.840> It<00:14:04.920> was<00:14:05.040> just<00:14:05.400> all<00:14:05.720> over.

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Like<00:14:06.840> within<00:14:07.120> 10<00:14:07.400> minutes,<00:14:07.920> it<00:14:08.040> was<00:14:08.160> just<00:14:08.360> all<00:14:08.600> over.

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Um<00:14:10.440> and<00:14:10.560> I<00:14:10.640> found<00:14:10.960> that<00:14:11.320> to<00:14:11.440> be<00:14:11.800> a<00:14:11.920> side<00:14:12.200> effect<00:14:12.640> of<00:14:12.800> sepsis.

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Your<00:14:13.920> fluid<00:14:14.360> starts<00:14:14.680> leaking<00:14:15.000> into<00:14:15.200> your<00:14:15.360> cavity,<00:14:15.800> which<00:14:16.000> is<00:14:16.120> like<00:14:16.280> your<00:14:16.400> hydraulic<00:14:16.920> hoses<00:14:17.280> are<00:14:17.400> all<00:14:17.520> leaking,<00:14:18.000> which<00:14:18.240> makes<00:14:18.480> you<00:14:18.640> weak<00:14:19.080> and<00:14:19.680> and<00:14:19.880> your<00:14:20.000> blood<00:14:20.240> pressure

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it<00:14:21.840> throttles.<00:14:23.560> So<00:14:23.720> when<00:14:23.880> I<00:14:23.920> looked<00:14:24.240> up<00:14:24.360> into<00:14:24.600> the<00:14:24.720> mirror,<00:14:25.680> I<00:14:26.000> saw<00:14:26.240> my<00:14:26.440> face.

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And<00:14:27.680> when<00:14:27.840> I<00:14:27.880> saw<00:14:28.080> my<00:14:28.240> face,<00:14:28.600> I<00:14:28.680> realized<00:14:29.200> in<00:14:29.280> that<00:14:29.480> moment<00:14:30.839> there<00:14:31.040> was<00:14:31.160> just<00:14:31.320> something<00:14:31.720> that<00:14:31.880> clicked.

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Um<00:14:33.320> my<00:14:33.560> face<00:14:33.920> had<00:14:34.080> no<00:14:34.240> fluid<00:14:34.720> left<00:14:35.040> in<00:14:35.160> it.

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It<00:14:35.680> was<00:14:36.080> um<00:14:37.160> completely<00:14:37.640> gray.

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It's<00:14:38.160> like<00:14:38.280> my<00:14:38.520> eyeballs<00:14:38.960> had<00:14:39.160> sunk<00:14:39.800> back<00:14:40.200> into<00:14:40.440> my<00:14:40.600> skull.

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Um<00:14:43.560> it<00:14:43.760> was<00:14:44.240> nasty.

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It<00:14:45.160> was<00:14:45.800> um<00:14:46.360> I<00:14:46.440> looked<00:14:46.680> like<00:14:46.839> a<00:14:46.920> corpse<00:14:47.440> and<00:14:47.560> I<00:14:47.640> only<00:14:47.880> know<00:14:48.160> that<00:14:48.560> because<00:14:49.120> I<00:14:49.240> actually<00:14:49.839> was<00:14:50.160> asked<00:14:50.560> to<00:14:50.680> dress<00:14:51.000> a<00:14:51.040> corpse<00:14:51.520> once<00:14:52.600> while<00:14:52.800> I<00:14:52.880> was<00:14:53.040> in

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high<00:14:53.320> school<00:14:54.400> by<00:14:54.600> a<00:14:54.680> neighbor<00:14:55.360> who<00:14:55.880> um<00:14:56.440> owned<00:14:56.640> a<00:14:56.680> funeral<00:14:57.160> home.

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I<00:14:57.360> was<00:14:57.520> cutting<00:14:57.760> the<00:14:57.839> neighbor's<00:14:58.200> lawn<00:14:58.440> and<00:14:58.520> he<00:14:58.600> said,<00:14:58.800> "I<00:14:58.880> have<00:14:59.000> a<00:14:59.040> really<00:14:59.280> tall<00:14:59.520> guy.

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Can<00:14:59.880> you<00:14:59.960> hold<00:15:00.200> him<00:15:00.400> while<00:15:00.560> I<00:15:00.640> dress<00:15:00.920> him?"<00:15:01.800> And<00:15:01.920> I<00:15:01.960> said,<00:15:02.280> "Sure."

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And<00:15:03.400> I<00:15:03.440> went<00:15:03.640> in<00:15:03.760> there<00:15:03.920> and<00:15:04.000> I'll<00:15:04.080> never<00:15:04.360> forget<00:15:04.680> the<00:15:04.800> look<00:15:05.080> of<00:15:05.400> the<00:15:05.520> color<00:15:05.880> of<00:15:06.520> that<00:15:07.080> skin<00:15:07.480> in<00:15:07.560> that<00:15:07.760> moment.

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But<00:15:09.320> um<00:15:09.800> I<00:15:09.880> saw<00:15:10.080> that<00:15:10.320> in<00:15:10.360> my<00:15:10.480> face<00:15:10.880> and<00:15:10.960> then<00:15:11.120> something<00:15:11.440> happened.

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Something<00:15:12.800> just<00:15:13.040> clicked.<00:15:13.640> It's<00:15:13.839> like<00:15:14.440> um<00:15:15.320> pushing<00:15:15.800> a<00:15:15.880> button<00:15:16.160> on<00:15:16.280> a<00:15:16.320> microwave.

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It<00:15:17.040> just<00:15:17.320> there's<00:15:17.560> a<00:15:17.600> click.<00:15:19.040> And<00:15:19.160> when<00:15:19.280> I<00:15:19.360> felt<00:15:19.680> the<00:15:19.760> click,<00:15:20.280> it<00:15:20.440> was<00:15:20.720> this<00:15:21.600> it's<00:15:21.800> like<00:15:22.000> I<00:15:22.360> had<00:15:22.600> this<00:15:22.840> knowing<00:15:23.280> that<00:15:23.440> I'm<00:15:23.560> dying.

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I'm<00:15:24.200> about<00:15:24.600> to<00:15:24.720> die.<00:15:25.160> Like<00:15:25.440> the<00:15:25.560> body<00:15:26.000> just<00:15:26.400> resonates<00:15:27.040> with<00:15:27.240> it.

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It's<00:15:28.120> not<00:15:28.320> even<00:15:28.520> in<00:15:28.680> your<00:15:28.840> intellect.<00:15:29.320> It's<00:15:29.440> like<00:15:29.560> the<00:15:29.680> whole<00:15:29.960> body<00:15:30.360> just<00:15:30.600> goes<00:15:30.880> into<00:15:32.640> this<00:15:32.880> familiar<00:15:33.480> feeling<00:15:33.960> in<00:15:34.040> a<00:15:34.120> way,<00:15:34.440> but<00:15:34.760> you've<00:15:36.520> you've

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never<00:15:37.160> felt<00:15:37.520> it<00:15:37.600> until<00:15:37.880> that<00:15:38.080> moment,<00:15:38.440> but<00:15:38.640> you<00:15:38.720> probably<00:15:39.200> felt<00:15:39.520> it<00:15:39.680> in<00:15:39.800> other<00:15:40.040> ways,<00:15:40.400> in<00:15:40.520> other<00:15:40.720> lives.

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And<00:15:42.240> I<00:15:42.320> just<00:15:42.560> recognized<00:15:43.160> that<00:15:43.280> I'm<00:15:43.360> dying.<00:15:43.640> I'm<00:15:43.760> about<00:15:44.040> to<00:15:44.120> die.

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I'm<00:15:44.480> looking<00:15:44.840> at<00:15:44.960> myself<00:15:45.400> in<00:15:45.600> the<00:15:45.720> mirror,<00:15:46.040> looking<00:15:46.480> at<00:15:46.640> my<00:15:46.840> eyes<00:15:47.120> going<00:15:47.440> This<00:15:47.720> is<00:15:47.880> it.

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go<00:15:56.800> of<00:15:57.040> everything.<00:15:58.360> It's<00:15:58.560> like<00:15:59.080> I<00:15:59.360> was<00:16:00.160> a<00:16:00.320> power<00:16:01.520> hungry<00:16:02.160> guy.

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I<00:16:09.640> would<00:16:09.880> put<00:16:10.080> it<00:16:10.160> back<00:16:10.440> in<00:16:10.560> myself.<00:16:11.560> Like<00:16:11.800> there<00:16:11.920> was<00:16:12.120> no<00:16:12.600> stopping<00:16:13.360> ever.

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And<00:16:15.080> in<00:16:15.240> that<00:16:15.480> moment,<00:16:16.240> it<00:16:16.480> was<00:16:17.440> all<00:16:17.640> gone.

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That<00:16:18.760> person<00:16:19.360> was<00:16:19.520> completely<00:16:20.040> gone.

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What<00:16:27.440> you<00:16:27.560> know,<00:16:27.760> like<00:16:28.000> I'm<00:16:28.120> too<00:16:28.320> young<00:16:28.760> or<00:16:30.280> what<00:16:30.480> is<00:16:30.600> happening<00:16:31.120> right<00:16:31.320> now?

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Like<00:16:31.760> the<00:16:31.960> intellectual<00:16:32.760> questions<00:16:33.480> were<00:16:33.600> gone.

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It<00:16:53.800> My<00:16:54.000> personality<00:16:54.640> was,<00:16:54.880> "Well,<00:16:55.000> this<00:16:55.160> is<00:16:55.360> it."

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And<00:16:56.320> there<00:16:56.480> was<00:16:56.600> no<00:16:56.800> part<00:16:57.080> of<00:16:57.200> me<00:16:57.360> like,<00:16:57.640> "Oh,<00:16:57.800> darn."

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or<00:16:59.800> "Wow."<00:17:00.320> or<00:17:00.520> "Why?"

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The<00:17:01.880> why<00:17:02.200> was<00:17:02.440> gone.<00:17:02.800> And<00:17:02.920> it<00:17:03.000> was<00:17:03.160> just<00:17:03.440> kind<00:17:03.640> of<00:17:03.880> It<00:17:03.960> was<00:17:04.079> graceful<00:17:04.640> for<00:17:04.800> me.

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It<00:17:10.480> was<00:17:11.000> delicate<00:17:11.800> and<00:17:13.680> it<00:17:13.839> just<00:17:14.079> flowed.

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It<00:17:23.880> was<00:17:24.040> just<00:17:24.680> black.<00:17:26.480> And<00:17:26.560> then<00:17:26.720> the<00:17:26.800> first<00:17:27.079> thing<00:17:27.280> I<00:17:27.360> experienced<00:17:28.199> was<00:17:29.400> this<00:17:29.560> velvety<00:17:29.960> blackness.

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Um<00:17:32.840> I<00:17:33.120> I<00:17:33.280> was<00:17:33.520> actually<00:17:34.480> using<00:17:35.000> that<00:17:35.320> when<00:17:35.480> I<00:17:35.560> returned<00:17:36.840> as<00:17:37.200> a<00:17:37.240> reason<00:17:37.600> why<00:17:37.760> I<00:17:37.880> didn't<00:17:38.240> have<00:17:38.440> a<00:17:38.480> near-death<00:17:38.880> experience.

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Cuz<00:17:40.320> I<00:17:40.400> always<00:17:41.040> heard<00:17:41.600> like<00:17:41.840> tunnel<00:17:42.160> of<00:17:42.320> light<00:17:43.280> or<00:17:43.400> something.

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So,<00:17:52.720> uh<00:17:53.040> it<00:17:53.160> turns<00:17:53.440> out<00:17:53.640> when<00:17:53.760> I<00:17:54.520> took<00:17:54.720> part<00:17:54.920> in<00:17:55.000> my<00:17:55.120> first<00:17:55.440> research<00:17:55.920> study,<00:17:56.640> I<00:17:56.760> found<00:17:57.080> out<00:17:57.200> that<00:17:57.440> there's<00:17:57.720> like<00:17:57.920> a<00:17:58.000> large<00:17:58.400> majority<00:17:58.880> of<00:17:59.000> us,<00:17:59.240> almost<00:17:59.560> half,<00:17:59.920> who

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So,<00:18:04.000> this<00:18:04.280> velvety<00:18:04.920> darkness<00:18:05.560> that<00:18:05.720> I<00:18:05.760> experienced,<00:18:06.480> I<00:18:06.560> felt<00:18:06.880> horizontal<00:18:08.400> in<00:18:08.520> a<00:18:08.600> way,<00:18:10.120> but<00:18:10.320> I<00:18:10.400> felt<00:18:10.640> caressed,<00:18:11.200> and<00:18:11.280> I<00:18:11.360> like<00:18:11.560> to<00:18:11.640> describe<00:18:12.120> it

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It's<00:18:18.920> so<00:18:19.200> strange<00:18:19.960> to<00:18:20.080> think<00:18:20.320> about<00:18:20.640> because<00:18:21.000> when<00:18:21.160> I<00:18:21.240> feel<00:18:21.640> it,<00:18:22.200> it's<00:18:22.400> like<00:18:22.640> you're<00:18:22.800> cradled<00:18:23.520> in<00:18:23.640> something.

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that<00:18:33.400> you're<00:18:33.480> moving<00:18:33.840> anywhere.<00:18:34.800> Cuz<00:18:34.920> there's<00:18:35.120> no<00:18:35.320> light.

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There's<00:18:35.800> no<00:18:35.960> distance.<00:18:36.480> There's<00:18:36.680> nothing<00:18:38.680> There's<00:18:39.080> nothing<00:18:39.480> that<00:18:39.600> would<00:18:39.680> say,<00:18:39.840> "Oh,<00:18:40.000> I<00:18:40.080> just<00:18:40.320> passed<00:18:40.800> something."

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Or<00:18:41.320> something's<00:18:41.760> getting<00:18:42.040> closer,<00:18:42.600> but<00:18:42.840> you<00:18:43.000> feel<00:18:43.760> I<00:18:43.880> felt<00:18:44.120> carried<00:18:44.760> in<00:18:44.880> a<00:18:44.960> way.

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And<00:18:46.120> the<00:18:46.240> only<00:18:46.440> thing<00:18:46.680> I<00:18:46.760> can<00:18:46.880> describe<00:18:47.320> it<00:18:47.440> as<00:18:48.000> uh<00:18:48.600> the<00:18:48.720> best<00:18:48.960> description<00:18:49.400> I<00:18:49.480> have<00:18:49.720> for<00:18:49.960> it<00:18:50.080> is<00:18:50.240> when<00:18:50.400> you're<00:18:50.520> a<00:18:50.560> child<00:18:51.000> and<00:18:51.120> you<00:18:51.200> get<00:18:51.320> all<00:18:51.440> swaddled<00:18:52.160> as<00:18:52.280> a<00:18:52.360> newborn<00:18:52.880> and

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you're<00:18:53.080> pressed<00:18:53.440> against<00:18:53.800> the<00:18:53.880> chest<00:18:54.200> of<00:18:54.280> someone,<00:18:55.120> and<00:18:55.320> that<00:18:55.560> kind<00:18:55.800> of<00:18:55.920> darkness<00:18:57.120> is<00:18:57.360> dark.

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You<00:19:05.200> feel<00:19:05.600> like<00:19:06.080> you're<00:19:06.200> not<00:19:06.480> just<00:19:06.720> floating<00:19:07.240> on<00:19:07.360> your<00:19:07.560> own<00:19:07.760> kind<00:19:08.000> of<00:19:08.120> thing.

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I<00:19:08.480> didn't<00:19:08.760> feel<00:19:09.080> like<00:19:09.280> I<00:19:09.360> was<00:19:09.560> floating<00:19:09.960> in<00:19:10.080> space<00:19:10.640> or<00:19:10.760> something<00:19:11.160> like<00:19:11.320> that.

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I<00:19:12.240> just<00:19:12.480> felt<00:19:14.120> encompassed,<00:19:15.560> loved,<00:19:16.040> and<00:19:16.200> comfortable<00:19:16.800> comfortable.

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Yeah,<00:19:17.800> there<00:19:17.960> was<00:19:18.120> no<00:19:18.480> Yeah,<00:19:18.600> secure,<00:19:19.440> protected.

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Absolutely.<00:19:20.280> You<00:19:20.360> got<00:19:20.600> it.<00:19:21.000> And<00:19:21.880> I<00:19:21.960> don't<00:19:22.160> know<00:19:22.320> how<00:19:22.520> long<00:19:22.760> I<00:19:22.840> was<00:19:23.040> in<00:19:23.160> that<00:19:23.360> space.

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Um<00:19:25.920> there's<00:19:26.120> no<00:19:26.280> time<00:19:27.480> as<00:19:27.720> I<00:19:27.760> know<00:19:28.000> it<00:19:28.480> no<00:19:28.640> time<00:19:28.920> as<00:19:29.080> I<00:19:29.120> felt<00:19:29.440> it.

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And<00:19:30.400> then<00:19:30.560> the<00:19:30.640> next<00:19:30.880> thing<00:19:31.080> I<00:19:31.160> know,<00:19:31.880> it's<00:19:32.080> kind<00:19:32.240> of<00:19:32.360> like<00:19:32.560> you<00:19:32.680> wake<00:19:32.960> up.

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I<00:19:33.960> call<00:19:34.200> it<00:19:34.280> a<00:19:34.320> long<00:19:34.560> blink.<00:19:35.640> You<00:19:35.720> know,<00:19:35.840> if<00:19:35.960> you<00:19:36.080> blinked<00:19:36.400> your<00:19:36.600> eyes<00:19:36.840> long<00:19:37.080> enough<00:19:37.360> and<00:19:37.480> you<00:19:38.320> you're<00:19:38.720> no<00:19:38.960> longer<00:19:39.320> in<00:19:39.440> the<00:19:39.520> room.

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You're<00:19:40.560> where<00:19:40.800> are<00:19:40.920> you<00:19:41.040> now?<00:19:41.280> Like<00:19:41.440> you're<00:19:41.560> somewhere<00:19:41.960> else.

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And<00:19:43.480> when<00:19:43.640> I<00:19:43.720> woke<00:19:44.480> in<00:19:44.680> this<00:19:44.880> place,<00:19:45.280> it<00:19:45.400> was<00:19:45.560> a<00:19:45.640> landscape.

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It<00:19:46.320> was<00:19:46.440> a<00:19:46.520> glowing<00:19:47.240> landscape.<00:19:48.720> Uh<00:19:48.880> someone<00:19:49.200> described<00:19:49.640> it<00:19:49.720> once<00:19:49.920> as<00:19:50.080> gloming.

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Um<00:19:53.080> it<00:19:53.360> it<00:19:53.600> looks<00:19:54.000> like<00:19:55.000> uh<00:19:55.080> the<00:19:55.200> Scottish<00:19:55.680> Highlands<00:19:56.160> or<00:19:56.320> the<00:19:57.480> Irish<00:19:57.880> countryside.

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There<00:19:58.560> was<00:19:58.720> this<00:19:59.600> 6-in<00:20:00.320> or<00:20:00.600> 8-in<00:20:00.960> grass,<00:20:01.480> maybe.

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Before<00:20:03.360> you<00:20:03.480> go<00:20:03.680> on,<00:20:04.160> I'm<00:20:04.320> wondering<00:20:04.680> if<00:20:05.000> that<00:20:05.440> whole<00:20:05.880> thing<00:20:06.200> you<00:20:06.280> went<00:20:06.520> through<00:20:06.760> where<00:20:06.920> it<00:20:07.000> was<00:20:07.160> dark<00:20:07.640> and<00:20:08.000> you<00:20:08.080> were<00:20:08.240> feeling<00:20:08.600> swaddled<00:20:09.240> and<00:20:09.360> all<00:20:09.480> that<00:20:09.640> stuff,<00:20:10.360> was

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some<00:20:10.720> kind<00:20:11.000> of<00:20:11.160> a<00:20:12.000> portal<00:20:12.480> or<00:20:12.640> some<00:20:12.840> kind<00:20:13.040> of<00:20:13.120> a<00:20:13.160> transition<00:20:13.880> zone<00:20:14.280> that<00:20:14.400> you<00:20:14.480> needed<00:20:14.800> to<00:20:14.920> traverse<00:20:15.920> before<00:20:16.320> you<00:20:16.480> could<00:20:16.720> get<00:20:17.000> to<00:20:17.160> the<00:20:17.560> the<00:20:17.680> meadow.

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Yeah,<00:20:18.920> I<00:20:19.200> I<00:20:19.320> do<00:20:19.960> I<00:20:20.120> do<00:20:20.440> believe<00:20:20.960> that's<00:20:21.240> the<00:20:21.360> case.

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I<00:20:21.800> do<00:20:22.080> believe<00:20:22.520> that<00:20:22.680> there<00:20:22.880> is<00:20:23.040> some<00:20:23.240> kind<00:20:23.440> of<00:20:23.560> mini<00:20:23.920> transition<00:20:24.760> before<00:20:25.680> I<00:20:26.200> To<00:20:26.320> me,<00:20:26.480> there's<00:20:26.760> multiple<00:20:27.240> transitions.

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I<00:20:27.920> think<00:20:28.120> that<00:20:28.280> was<00:20:28.520> one.<00:20:28.960> The<00:20:29.120> next<00:20:29.520> one<00:20:29.760> was<00:20:30.080> when<00:20:30.360> I<00:20:30.480> was<00:20:30.920> welcomed<00:20:31.720> by<00:20:32.120> a<00:20:32.240> being,<00:20:32.760> so<00:20:32.920> to<00:20:33.040> speak.

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Yeah.<00:20:34.440> And<00:20:34.520> then<00:20:34.640> in<00:20:34.720> fact,<00:20:34.960> maybe<00:20:35.320> the<00:20:35.480> dudes<00:20:35.840> on<00:20:35.920> the<00:20:36.040> other<00:20:36.200> side<00:20:36.520> said,<00:20:36.800> "Okay,<00:20:37.160> we<00:20:37.280> got<00:20:37.480> an<00:20:37.600> incoming."

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He's<00:20:38.280> in<00:20:38.400> the<00:20:38.520> tunnel.<00:20:38.880> He's<00:20:39.200> in<00:20:39.280> the<00:20:39.600> the<00:20:39.720> dark<00:20:40.040> place<00:20:40.360> now.

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Get<00:20:40.840> ready."<00:20:41.280> Yeah,<00:20:41.720> yeah.<00:20:42.040> Like<00:20:42.360> set<00:20:42.600> the<00:20:42.720> table.

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Company's<00:20:44.040> coming.<00:20:44.514> [laughter]<00:20:45.120> Um<00:20:46.040> so<00:20:46.920> yeah,<00:20:47.200> I<00:20:47.560> I<00:20:47.640> woke<00:20:48.080> up<00:20:48.240> in<00:20:48.360> this<00:20:48.560> place<00:20:48.960> and<00:20:49.080> the<00:20:49.160> strange<00:20:49.600> thing<00:20:49.760> about<00:20:50.200> it,<00:20:50.400> and<00:20:50.560> I<00:20:50.640> also<00:20:50.920> understand<00:20:51.360> from<00:20:51.480> the<00:20:51.560> research

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studies,<00:20:52.400> is<00:20:52.640> I<00:20:52.720> didn't<00:20:53.040> know<00:20:53.240> I<00:20:53.320> had<00:20:53.520> passed.

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Like<00:20:54.120> I<00:20:54.160> didn't<00:20:54.360> know<00:20:54.520> I<00:20:54.600> was<00:20:54.760> dead.<00:20:55.240> I<00:20:55.320> didn't<00:20:55.640> know<00:20:55.920> I<00:20:56.000> was<00:20:56.640> in<00:20:56.840> a<00:20:56.880> place<00:20:57.240> we<00:20:57.360> would<00:20:57.520> call<00:20:57.800> the<00:20:57.920> other<00:20:58.080> side<00:20:58.440> or<00:20:58.560> in<00:20:58.640> another<00:20:58.960> state.

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It<00:21:00.800> was<00:21:01.200> it<00:21:01.440> felt<00:21:03.160> it<00:21:03.400> felt<00:21:03.720> so<00:21:04.000> more<00:21:04.360> real<00:21:04.680> than<00:21:04.880> this.

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Like<00:21:05.560> the<00:21:05.680> only<00:21:05.880> explanation<00:21:06.560> or<00:21:07.040> or<00:21:07.160> comparison<00:21:07.720> I<00:21:07.840> can<00:21:07.960> make<00:21:08.160> is<00:21:08.320> this<00:21:08.840> right<00:21:09.120> now<00:21:09.360> feels<00:21:09.680> like<00:21:09.840> a<00:21:09.880> cartoon<00:21:10.520> to<00:21:10.640> me.

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Like<00:21:11.760> it<00:21:11.920> just<00:21:12.560> changed<00:21:13.760> my<00:21:14.080> understanding<00:21:15.160> of<00:21:15.360> what<00:21:15.520> is<00:21:15.720> real<00:21:15.960> and<00:21:16.160> what<00:21:16.320> is<00:21:16.440> illusion<00:21:17.040> or<00:21:17.240> what<00:21:17.400> is<00:21:17.520> manufactured<00:21:18.280> and<00:21:18.440> what<00:21:18.600> is<00:21:18.800> truth<00:21:19.280> in<00:21:19.360> a<00:21:19.400> way.

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Um<00:21:21.680> it<00:21:21.800> just<00:21:22.040> feels<00:21:22.320> so<00:21:22.520> incredibly<00:21:23.080> real<00:21:23.640> and<00:21:23.800> I'm<00:21:23.920> looking<00:21:24.200> at<00:21:24.360> this<00:21:24.560> landscape,<00:21:25.040> right?

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There's<00:21:25.600> light<00:21:25.960> coming<00:21:26.240> from<00:21:26.440> everything.<00:21:26.800> There's<00:21:27.000> light<00:21:27.280> coming<00:21:27.560> through<00:21:27.720> the<00:21:27.800> grass.

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There's<00:21:28.320> light<00:21:28.560> coming<00:21:28.840> out<00:21:28.960> of<00:21:29.040> the<00:21:29.120> rocks,<00:21:29.480> out<00:21:29.600> of<00:21:29.680> the<00:21:29.760> hillsides.

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Everything<00:21:31.560> is<00:21:31.760> like<00:21:32.000> has<00:21:32.280> this<00:21:32.560> slow<00:21:33.320> breath.

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Like<00:21:34.200> it's<00:21:34.360> all<00:21:34.600> alive.<00:21:35.240> It's<00:21:35.480> like<00:21:36.160> um<00:21:36.880> I<00:21:36.920> want<00:21:37.120> to<00:21:37.160> say<00:21:37.360> vibrating,<00:21:38.000> but<00:21:38.160> that<00:21:38.360> to<00:21:38.480> me<00:21:38.800> is<00:21:39.040> fast.

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It's<00:21:39.680> just<00:21:39.920> like<00:21:40.120> this<00:21:41.520> breath<00:21:42.000> or<00:21:42.120> pulse<00:21:42.600> of<00:21:42.720> something<00:21:43.320> and<00:21:44.360> the<00:21:44.680> the<00:21:44.840> grass<00:21:45.280> was<00:21:45.440> all<00:21:45.600> moving<00:21:46.120> like<00:21:46.280> it<00:21:46.360> was<00:21:46.560> underwater<00:21:47.440> almost<00:21:47.720> in

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like<00:21:48.040> in<00:21:48.200> unison,<00:21:48.760> but<00:21:48.880> there<00:21:48.960> was<00:21:49.080> no<00:21:49.240> breeze.<00:21:49.840> There<00:21:50.000> was<00:21:50.160> no<00:21:50.600> climate<00:21:51.400> in<00:21:51.560> a<00:21:51.600> way.

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And<00:21:53.040> the<00:21:53.160> light<00:21:53.600> I<00:21:53.760> I<00:21:53.880> recognized<00:21:54.480> like<00:21:54.720> you<00:21:54.880> could<00:21:55.360> this<00:21:55.640> light<00:21:56.080> was<00:21:56.280> like<00:21:57.120> love.

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It<00:21:58.160> felt<00:21:58.440> like<00:21:58.680> love.<00:21:59.040> It's<00:21:59.880> I<00:22:00.080> I<00:22:00.160> don't<00:22:00.320> want<00:22:00.480> to<00:22:01.200> like<00:22:01.800> give<00:22:02.040> you<00:22:02.120> the<00:22:02.200> wrong<00:22:02.480> idea,<00:22:02.840> but<00:22:02.960> it<00:22:03.040> was<00:22:03.200> like<00:22:03.440> tentacles<00:22:04.880> and<00:22:05.000> as<00:22:05.160> it<00:22:05.400> hit<00:22:06.000> parts

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of<00:22:06.640> you,<00:22:07.000> which<00:22:07.320> I<00:22:07.600> I<00:22:07.680> know<00:22:07.880> I<00:22:07.920> didn't<00:22:08.120> have<00:22:08.240> a<00:22:08.320> body,<00:22:08.680> you<00:22:08.800> just<00:22:09.040> feel<00:22:09.280> this<00:22:09.520> most<00:22:09.880> incredible<00:22:10.480> love,<00:22:10.800> this<00:22:12.480> unconditional<00:22:13.240> like<00:22:13.480> everything<00:22:14.080> was<00:22:14.240> there<00:22:14.520> just

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for<00:22:15.000> you.<00:22:16.920> Let<00:22:17.040> me<00:22:17.160> interject<00:22:17.640> a<00:22:17.680> question<00:22:18.120> here.

00:22:18.440 --> 00:22:27.600
Um<00:22:19.080> I've<00:22:19.240> heard<00:22:19.400> it<00:22:19.520> said<00:22:19.760> and<00:22:19.840> I<00:22:19.880> like<00:22:20.120> your<00:22:20.200> opinion<00:22:20.640> on<00:22:20.800> this<00:22:21.160> um<00:22:21.760> that<00:22:23.000> people<00:22:23.440> are<00:22:23.960> when<00:22:24.080> they<00:22:24.200> cross<00:22:24.560> over<00:22:25.320> either<00:22:25.600> temporarily<00:22:26.240> or<00:22:26.360> perhaps<00:22:26.720> permanently,

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they<00:22:27.920> they're<00:22:28.200> presented<00:22:28.760> with<00:22:28.920> something<00:22:29.280> they<00:22:29.440> can<00:22:29.600> relate<00:22:30.080> to,<00:22:30.760> you<00:22:30.880> know,<00:22:31.120> so<00:22:32.000> a<00:22:32.080> Hindu<00:22:32.440> might<00:22:32.680> see<00:22:32.800> Krishna<00:22:33.400> or<00:22:33.720> you're<00:22:33.960> kind<00:22:34.120> of<00:22:34.240> a<00:22:34.280> you<00:22:34.400> were<00:22:34.480> kind<00:22:34.680> of<00:22:34.760> a<00:22:35.160> um<00:22:35.600> atheistic

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outdoorsy<00:22:37.000> guy,<00:22:37.320> so<00:22:37.520> you<00:22:37.680> saw<00:22:37.880> a<00:22:37.920> nice<00:22:38.160> outdoor<00:22:38.600> scene<00:22:38.960> and<00:22:39.080> you're<00:22:39.200> going<00:22:39.320> to<00:22:39.400> tell<00:22:39.600> us<00:22:39.720> in<00:22:39.840> a<00:22:39.920> minute<00:22:40.240> about<00:22:40.520> the<00:22:40.720> the<00:22:40.800> guy<00:22:40.960> who<00:22:41.080> looked<00:22:41.280> like<00:22:41.480> a<00:22:41.520> hiker<00:22:42.000> or<00:22:42.640> you<00:22:42.760> know,

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somebody<00:22:43.720> who's<00:22:44.400> who<00:22:44.600> has<00:22:44.800> some<00:22:45.000> completely<00:22:45.400> other,<00:22:45.960> you<00:22:46.080> know,<00:22:46.240> a<00:22:46.520> a<00:22:46.600> Muslim<00:22:47.040> might<00:22:47.360> see<00:22:47.640> Allah<00:22:48.200> or<00:22:48.800> or<00:22:48.840> whatever.

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Yeah,<00:22:49.760> so<00:22:50.040> so<00:22:50.200> they<00:22:50.360> kind<00:22:50.520> of<00:22:50.600> customize<00:22:51.160> it<00:22:51.320> so<00:22:51.480> you<00:22:51.640> won't<00:22:51.880> feel<00:22:52.360> out<00:22:52.560> of<00:22:53.000> place<00:22:53.360> or<00:22:53.600> Correct.

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Correct.<00:22:54.720> I<00:22:54.800> learned<00:22:55.080> that<00:22:55.800> um<00:22:56.440> afterwards<00:22:57.040> about<00:22:57.240> a<00:22:57.280> year.

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I<00:22:58.560> think<00:22:58.680> it<00:22:58.760> was<00:22:58.880> a<00:22:58.920> year,<00:22:59.160> year<00:22:59.320> and<00:22:59.400> a<00:22:59.440> half<00:22:59.640> afterwards<00:23:00.320> that<00:23:00.880> we<00:23:01.080> all<00:23:01.280> see<00:23:01.520> what<00:23:01.680> welcomes<00:23:02.080> us<00:23:02.200> the<00:23:02.320> most<00:23:02.680> cuz<00:23:02.920> like<00:23:03.600> I<00:23:03.760> I<00:23:03.840> make<00:23:04.080> the<00:23:04.160> joke<00:23:04.440> all<00:23:04.560> the<00:23:04.640> time<00:23:04.920> if<00:23:05.080> I'd<00:23:05.240> seen

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a<00:23:05.480> church<00:23:05.840> I<00:23:05.880> would<00:23:05.960> have<00:23:06.040> been<00:23:06.160> like<00:23:06.400> uh-oh.<00:23:07.520> Yeah,<00:23:07.760> wrong<00:23:08.000> place.

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Yeah.<00:23:09.270> [laughter]<00:23:11.236> [gasps]<00:23:11.600> So<00:23:12.640> it<00:23:12.840> was<00:23:13.040> just<00:23:13.680> a<00:23:13.760> loving<00:23:14.200> landscape<00:23:14.840> the<00:23:14.960> light<00:23:15.360> you<00:23:15.480> could<00:23:15.600> go<00:23:15.800> into<00:23:16.080> it<00:23:16.240> immediately<00:23:16.960> recognize

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I<00:23:17.760> could<00:23:18.000> see<00:23:18.840> 360<00:23:19.720> degrees<00:23:20.080> around<00:23:20.440> me<00:23:21.200> feeling<00:23:21.680> was<00:23:21.880> seeing<00:23:22.400> they<00:23:22.560> were<00:23:22.760> as<00:23:22.960> one.

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It<00:23:24.360> was<00:23:24.480> like<00:23:24.680> the<00:23:24.800> color<00:23:25.200> green<00:23:25.840> that<00:23:26.000> was<00:23:26.240> the<00:23:26.360> grass<00:23:26.800> it<00:23:26.920> was<00:23:27.040> like<00:23:27.200> alive<00:23:27.840> it<00:23:27.960> was<00:23:28.200> everywhere<00:23:28.960> it<00:23:29.040> was<00:23:29.240> its<00:23:29.400> own<00:23:29.680> being.

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Um<00:23:31.440> and<00:23:31.560> I<00:23:31.640> just<00:23:31.920> felt<00:23:32.400> called<00:23:32.760> to<00:23:32.880> move<00:23:33.160> a<00:23:33.240> little<00:23:33.440> bit<00:23:33.680> and<00:23:33.760> as<00:23:33.960> I<00:23:34.040> moved<00:23:34.680> it<00:23:34.800> was<00:23:34.960> like<00:23:35.120> there<00:23:35.200> was<00:23:35.360> this<00:23:35.600> fog<00:23:36.080> this<00:23:36.280> boundary<00:23:36.880> or<00:23:37.040> border<00:23:37.560> around<00:23:38.000> me.

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And<00:23:38.960> it's<00:23:39.080> like<00:23:39.200> I<00:23:39.280> could<00:23:39.520> see<00:23:40.520> things<00:23:40.920> on<00:23:41.040> the<00:23:41.160> other<00:23:41.320> side<00:23:41.720> of<00:23:41.840> it<00:23:41.960> but<00:23:42.080> I<00:23:42.160> couldn't<00:23:42.520> really<00:23:42.800> see<00:23:43.080> things<00:23:43.440> it's<00:23:43.640> like<00:23:43.920> if<00:23:44.160> you're<00:23:44.240> driving<00:23:44.560> in<00:23:44.640> a<00:23:44.680> car<00:23:45.080> and<00:23:45.160> it's<00:23:45.360> fog<00:23:45.720> it's

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like<00:23:46.640> as<00:23:46.880> you<00:23:47.000> drive<00:23:47.440> further<00:23:47.960> things<00:23:48.400> start<00:23:48.720> to<00:23:48.800> come<00:23:49.120> through<00:23:49.400> the<00:23:49.520> fog<00:23:49.920> you<00:23:50.000> start<00:23:50.240> to<00:23:50.360> see<00:23:50.560> them<00:23:50.760> take<00:23:51.000> shape.

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And<00:23:52.200> it<00:23:52.320> felt<00:23:52.520> like<00:23:52.680> that<00:23:52.880> it<00:23:52.960> felt<00:23:53.120> like<00:23:53.280> I<00:23:53.320> was<00:23:53.480> always<00:23:53.760> in<00:23:53.840> the<00:23:53.920> middle<00:23:54.200> of<00:23:54.320> it<00:23:54.680> like<00:23:54.960> a<00:23:55.160> video<00:23:55.560> game<00:23:55.840> almost.

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I<00:23:56.560> remember<00:23:56.960> playing<00:23:57.280> Legend<00:23:57.600> of<00:23:57.720> Zelda<00:23:58.120> as<00:23:58.280> a<00:23:58.360> kid<00:23:58.640> and<00:23:58.760> it's<00:23:58.960> like<00:23:59.160> as<00:23:59.320> you<00:23:59.440> walk<00:23:59.760> there<00:24:00.000> was<00:24:00.120> this<00:24:00.320> bubble<00:24:00.640> of<00:24:00.800> light<00:24:01.040> around<00:24:01.440> you.

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And<00:24:02.960> um<00:24:04.720> as<00:24:04.920> I<00:24:04.960> was<00:24:05.160> moving<00:24:05.560> this<00:24:05.760> hill<00:24:06.040> started<00:24:06.440> to<00:24:06.520> take<00:24:06.880> form<00:24:07.400> and<00:24:07.560> it<00:24:07.680> was<00:24:07.800> on<00:24:07.920> the<00:24:08.040> right<00:24:08.280> hand<00:24:08.560> side<00:24:09.960> of<00:24:10.160> this<00:24:10.440> essence

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that<00:24:11.000> I<00:24:11.080> was.<00:24:12.280> And<00:24:12.360> it<00:24:12.440> was<00:24:12.640> weird<00:24:13.000> because<00:24:13.320> you<00:24:13.440> feel<00:24:13.640> like<00:24:13.840> you're<00:24:13.960> walking<00:24:14.360> but<00:24:14.520> you're<00:24:14.640> not<00:24:15.240> it's<00:24:15.800> it's<00:24:16.080> like<00:24:16.400> you<00:24:17.280> you<00:24:17.480> recognize<00:24:18.360> there's<00:24:18.560> no<00:24:18.760> weight<00:24:19.320> like

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I<00:24:19.880> was<00:24:20.120> weightless<00:24:20.640> and<00:24:20.880> weight<00:24:21.200> at<00:24:21.280> the<00:24:21.400> same<00:24:21.640> time<00:24:21.880> it's<00:24:22.000> very<00:24:22.200> bizarre.

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I<00:24:23.320> can't<00:24:23.640> replicate<00:24:24.120> the<00:24:24.200> feeling<00:24:24.680> I've<00:24:24.800> tried<00:24:25.920> um<00:24:26.960> it's<00:24:27.120> interesting<00:24:27.640> but<00:24:28.640> so<00:24:28.800> as<00:24:29.000> this<00:24:29.440> this<00:24:29.640> hillside<00:24:30.160> came<00:24:30.360> about<00:24:30.800> I<00:24:31.000> saw<00:24:31.240> a

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rock<00:24:32.040> like<00:24:32.240> a<00:24:32.320> huge<00:24:32.960> gray<00:24:33.280> rock<00:24:33.680> start<00:24:34.000> jutting<00:24:34.360> out<00:24:34.480> of<00:24:34.560> the<00:24:34.640> side<00:24:34.960> of<00:24:35.080> it<00:24:35.240> and<00:24:35.440> right<00:24:35.720> there<00:24:36.240> kind<00:24:36.480> of<00:24:36.600> like<00:24:37.240> 10<00:24:37.640> ft<00:24:37.960> up<00:24:39.440> I

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would<00:24:39.640> say<00:24:39.760> at<00:24:39.880> the<00:24:40.000> 1:00<00:24:40.560> or<00:24:40.640> 2:00<00:24:41.160> position<00:24:42.520> was<00:24:42.680> just<00:24:43.160> a<00:24:43.280> dude<00:24:44.360> a<00:24:44.480> guy<00:24:45.080> a<00:24:45.240> hiker<00:24:45.800> just<00:24:46.160> sitting<00:24:46.520> on<00:24:46.640> the<00:24:46.760> edge<00:24:46.960> of<00:24:47.040> a<00:24:47.120> rock<00:24:47.520> he

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had<00:24:47.760> his<00:24:48.480> hands<00:24:48.840> crossed<00:24:49.400> and<00:24:49.480> his<00:24:50.560> elbows<00:24:51.040> on<00:24:51.160> his<00:24:51.280> knees<00:24:51.680> and<00:24:51.760> he's<00:24:51.920> dangling<00:24:52.400> his<00:24:52.640> legs<00:24:53.000> it<00:24:53.080> was<00:24:53.200> like<00:24:53.440> he<00:24:53.560> was<00:24:53.760> looking<00:24:54.360> out<00:24:55.480> at<00:24:55.640> this

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beautiful<00:24:56.280> landscape<00:24:56.840> just<00:24:57.040> admiring<00:24:57.680> it,<00:24:57.800> like<00:24:58.000> he<00:24:58.120> had<00:24:58.440> taken<00:24:58.760> a<00:24:58.800> break.

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And<00:25:00.560> I'm<00:25:02.160> my<00:25:02.440> attention<00:25:02.960> is<00:25:03.120> on<00:25:03.320> this<00:25:03.480> being,<00:25:03.800> and<00:25:03.960> as<00:25:04.240> he<00:25:04.360> turned<00:25:04.720> his<00:25:04.960> head<00:25:05.240> to<00:25:05.320> me,<00:25:05.520> and<00:25:05.640> he<00:25:05.760> just<00:25:07.200> he<00:25:07.320> just<00:25:07.600> made<00:25:07.920> eye<00:25:08.080> contact,

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but<00:25:08.880> he<00:25:08.920> didn't<00:25:09.120> have<00:25:09.280> eyes.<00:25:09.680> It's<00:25:09.920> like<00:25:10.160> you<00:25:10.320> get<00:25:10.600> this<00:25:10.840> immediate<00:25:11.760> welcome,<00:25:12.480> this<00:25:12.720> knowing.

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It's<00:25:13.440> like<00:25:14.360> you<00:25:14.480> know,<00:25:14.760> I<00:25:14.960> I<00:25:15.080> knew<00:25:15.360> in<00:25:15.480> that<00:25:15.680> moment,<00:25:16.000> I'd<00:25:16.080> been<00:25:16.280> told,<00:25:16.600> this<00:25:16.840> being<00:25:17.160> says,<00:25:17.400> "You're<00:25:17.560> dead."

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You're<00:25:18.320> on<00:25:18.520> the<00:25:18.640> other<00:25:18.840> side."<00:25:19.200> It's<00:25:19.880> my<00:25:20.120> translation<00:25:20.880> of<00:25:21.600> something<00:25:22.040> telepathic,<00:25:22.840> but<00:25:24.400> you<00:25:24.520> know,<00:25:26.240> I'm

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like<00:25:26.800> in<00:25:26.960> an<00:25:27.120> in-between<00:25:27.880> stage.<00:25:28.360> She<00:25:28.480> described<00:25:30.000> uh<00:25:30.080> kind<00:25:30.280> of<00:25:30.360> the<00:25:30.480> welcome,<00:25:31.760> uh<00:25:32.240> you're<00:25:32.760> there's<00:25:32.920> nothing<00:25:33.240> to<00:25:33.360> fear,<00:25:33.720> it's<00:25:33.880> unconditional<00:25:34.480> love.

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It's<00:25:34.920> just<00:25:35.080> like<00:25:35.320> all<00:25:35.560> of<00:25:35.680> these<00:25:36.000> things<00:25:37.680> just<00:25:38.040> get<00:25:38.200> placed<00:25:38.600> in<00:25:38.760> you<00:25:39.120> immediately,<00:25:39.800> like<00:25:40.000> a<00:25:40.040> snap<00:25:40.400> of<00:25:40.520> a<00:25:40.600> finger.

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And<00:25:42.200> there's<00:25:42.360> no<00:25:42.520> part<00:25:42.920> of<00:25:43.080> you,<00:25:43.600> I<00:25:43.680> like<00:25:43.880> to<00:25:44.000> say<00:25:44.160> there's<00:25:44.320> just<00:25:44.720> no<00:25:44.920> part<00:25:45.160> of<00:25:45.280> you<00:25:45.400> that<00:25:45.520> makes<00:25:45.800> the<00:25:45.880> trip<00:25:46.240> that's<00:25:46.440> like,<00:25:46.680> "Oh,<00:25:46.920> really?"

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Like,<00:25:47.800> wow."<00:25:48.960> Right?

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There's<00:25:49.400> no<00:25:49.880> humanness<00:25:50.760> that<00:25:50.920> goes,<00:25:51.200> "Hmm,<00:25:52.120> are<00:25:52.240> you<00:25:52.400> sure?"

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Like,<00:25:53.360> you<00:25:53.800> it's<00:25:54.280> that<00:25:54.760> shed,<00:25:55.320> that<00:25:55.600> ego<00:25:55.960> piece<00:25:56.240> gets<00:25:56.520> left<00:25:56.760> behind.

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That<00:25:57.320> part<00:25:57.520> of<00:25:57.640> you<00:25:57.720> does<00:25:58.000> die.<00:25:59.520> So,<00:25:59.760> he<00:26:00.120> he<00:26:00.240> made<00:26:00.440> his<00:26:00.560> way<00:26:00.720> down<00:26:01.080> off<00:26:01.240> the<00:26:01.680> off<00:26:01.880> the<00:26:02.000> rock,<00:26:02.320> and<00:26:02.440> then<00:26:02.880> as<00:26:03.200> he<00:26:03.400> was<00:26:03.680> moving<00:26:04.120> towards<00:26:04.600> me,<00:26:04.880> I<00:26:04.960> recognized<00:26:05.680> that

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he<00:26:06.000> is<00:26:06.240> not<00:26:07.640> human<00:26:08.320> in<00:26:08.440> a<00:26:08.480> way.

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He<00:26:08.840> started<00:26:09.240> to<00:26:09.360> shimmer<00:26:10.080> in<00:26:10.240> a<00:26:10.320> way,<00:26:10.640> and<00:26:10.760> you<00:26:10.840> could<00:26:11.040> see<00:26:11.240> through<00:26:11.520> parts<00:26:11.880> of<00:26:11.960> him<00:26:12.120> at<00:26:12.280> times.

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And<00:26:14.280> um<00:26:14.840> he<00:26:15.040> he<00:26:15.200> came<00:26:15.400> right<00:26:15.600> up<00:26:15.720> to<00:26:15.840> me,<00:26:16.200> stood<00:26:16.640> right<00:26:16.800> next<00:26:17.120> to<00:26:17.200> me.

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And<00:26:18.680> he<00:26:18.800> could<00:26:19.080> feel<00:26:20.200> me<00:26:20.680> asking<00:26:21.720> without<00:26:22.400> verbalizing<00:26:23.240> it<00:26:23.400> in<00:26:23.520> any<00:26:23.720> way,<00:26:24.600> "Who<00:26:24.840> are<00:26:25.000> you?"

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It<00:26:25.400> It<00:26:25.480> was<00:26:25.640> like<00:26:25.960> seeing<00:26:26.240> your<00:26:26.360> long-lost<00:26:26.840> friend<00:26:27.080> that<00:26:27.200> you<00:26:27.320> can't<00:26:27.560> recognize.

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And<00:26:29.560> having<00:26:29.880> the<00:26:30.000> amnesia<00:26:30.360> and<00:26:30.440> going,<00:26:30.720> "I<00:26:30.800> know<00:26:31.080> you,<00:26:31.200> but<00:26:31.360> how<00:26:31.480> do<00:26:31.640> I<00:26:31.680> know<00:26:31.920> you?"

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And<00:26:32.880> it's<00:26:33.120> the<00:26:33.240> weirdest<00:26:33.680> feeling<00:26:33.960> cuz<00:26:34.160> you're<00:26:34.280> like,<00:26:35.000> it's<00:26:35.200> a<00:26:35.280> good<00:26:35.560> feeling.

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It's<00:26:36.240> not<00:26:36.600> like,<00:26:37.200> "Oh,<00:26:37.320> I'm<00:26:37.520> so<00:26:37.720> upset<00:26:38.040> I<00:26:38.120> don't<00:26:38.400> recognize<00:26:38.960> you."

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[gasps]<00:26:40.520> And<00:26:40.760> he<00:26:40.920> felt<00:26:41.200> that,<00:26:41.920> and<00:26:42.240> he<00:26:42.360> started<00:26:42.720> to<00:26:42.880> shift<00:26:43.320> from<00:26:43.680> his<00:26:44.200> chest<00:26:44.680> up<00:26:44.840> to<00:26:44.960> his<00:26:45.120> head<00:26:45.640> and<00:26:45.880> flip<00:26:46.240> through<00:26:47.040> different<00:26:47.360> existences.

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All<00:26:48.920> these<00:26:49.240> different<00:26:49.600> people,<00:26:50.000> like<00:26:50.200> a<00:26:50.280> deck<00:26:50.560> of<00:26:50.680> cards,<00:26:51.120> just<00:26:51.720> boom<00:26:52.360> boom.

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And<00:26:53.520> you<00:26:53.600> were<00:26:53.720> seeing<00:26:54.000> that<00:26:54.200> in<00:26:54.360> his<00:26:54.640> form.<00:26:55.280> Yeah,<00:26:55.360> I'm<00:26:55.480> seeing<00:26:55.840> him<00:26:56.240> the<00:26:56.360> hiker<00:26:56.840> from<00:26:57.240> the<00:26:57.360> chest<00:26:57.760> down<00:26:58.240> still<00:26:58.600> in<00:26:58.680> the<00:26:58.760> hiking<00:26:59.120> clothes.

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Becoming<00:27:00.400> different<00:27:00.760> people<00:27:01.160> from<00:27:01.400> the<00:27:01.480> chest<00:27:01.800> up.

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Okay.<00:27:02.080> But<00:27:02.120> from<00:27:02.240> the<00:27:02.360> chest<00:27:02.840> up<00:27:03.080> he'd<00:27:03.320> turn<00:27:03.520> into<00:27:03.760> a<00:27:03.840> woman<00:27:04.320> and<00:27:04.440> then<00:27:04.560> a<00:27:04.600> man<00:27:05.080> and<00:27:05.240> I<00:27:05.360> recognized<00:27:06.160> all<00:27:06.280> these<00:27:06.480> people<00:27:06.920> and<00:27:07.000> it<00:27:07.080> was<00:27:07.200> the<00:27:07.320> same<00:27:07.600> feeling.

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I<00:27:08.000> recognized<00:27:08.680> them.<00:27:08.840> I<00:27:08.880> don't<00:27:09.160> know<00:27:09.480> how<00:27:09.880> I<00:27:10.000> recognized<00:27:10.600> them,<00:27:10.760> but<00:27:10.920> I<00:27:10.960> know<00:27:11.280> them<00:27:11.640> as<00:27:11.800> well.

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And<00:27:13.960> until<00:27:14.360> he<00:27:14.520> landed<00:27:14.920> on<00:27:15.040> me.

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[sighs<00:27:16.402> and<00:27:16.596> gasps]<00:27:16.790> The<00:27:16.984> person<00:27:17.178> who<00:27:17.372> had<00:27:17.566> just<00:27:17.760> passed.

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So<00:27:19.080> I'm<00:27:19.200> looking<00:27:19.560> at<00:27:19.720> myself<00:27:21.480> as<00:27:21.720> this<00:27:21.920> being<00:27:22.480> and<00:27:23.120> I'm<00:27:23.240> making<00:27:23.720> eye<00:27:23.960> contact<00:27:25.160> with<00:27:25.400> this<00:27:25.680> being<00:27:26.320> and<00:27:27.000> then

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he<00:27:27.360> quickly<00:27:27.720> he<00:27:27.840> didn't<00:27:28.120> he<00:27:28.480> actually<00:27:28.920> didn't<00:27:29.200> stay<00:27:29.560> on<00:27:29.680> that<00:27:29.880> very<00:27:30.120> long.

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He<00:27:31.240> just<00:27:31.440> kind<00:27:31.600> of<00:27:31.920> showed<00:27:32.240> me<00:27:32.400> and<00:27:32.520> then<00:27:32.720> zip.

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And<00:27:34.560> after<00:27:35.040> he<00:27:35.520> turned<00:27:35.920> back<00:27:36.200> into<00:27:36.400> the<00:27:36.480> full<00:27:36.720> hiker<00:27:37.200> he<00:27:37.400> said,<00:27:37.840> "I<00:27:38.000> am<00:27:38.240> you<00:27:38.440> and<00:27:38.560> you're<00:27:38.760> me."

00:27:39.000 --> 00:27:42.120
And<00:27:39.160> when<00:27:39.320> he<00:27:39.480> said<00:27:39.800> that<00:27:40.280> like<00:27:40.480> the<00:27:40.560> whole<00:27:40.800> place<00:27:41.120> shook.

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It's<00:27:42.280> like<00:27:42.440> all<00:27:42.720> things<00:27:43.280> everywhere<00:27:44.240> just<00:27:44.680> was<00:27:44.880> like<00:27:45.120> boom.

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Every<00:27:46.720> time<00:27:46.880> you<00:27:46.960> say<00:27:47.120> that<00:27:47.320> I'm<00:27:47.440> reminded<00:27:47.880> of<00:27:48.120> I<00:27:48.200> am<00:27:48.440> the<00:27:48.520> walrus<00:27:49.040> by<00:27:49.160> the<00:27:49.280> Beatles.

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[laughter]<00:27:51.440> Yeah.<00:27:52.440> That's<00:27:52.640> good.

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But<00:27:53.360> um<00:27:53.800> so<00:27:54.160> let<00:27:54.360> me<00:27:54.440> ask<00:27:54.680> you.

00:27:54.920 --> 00:28:03.240
So<00:27:55.120> this<00:27:55.400> guy<00:27:56.400> do<00:27:56.480> you<00:27:56.560> have<00:27:56.680> the<00:27:56.800> feeling<00:27:57.280> like<00:27:57.560> he<00:27:57.720> was<00:27:58.000> your<00:27:58.200> higher<00:27:58.560> self<00:27:59.760> because<00:28:00.040> some<00:28:00.200> people<00:28:00.480> say<00:28:00.640> that<00:28:00.800> we<00:28:00.920> have<00:28:01.080> this<00:28:01.240> higher<00:28:01.560> self<00:28:01.920> and<00:28:02.120> and<00:28:02.520> most<00:28:02.880> of<00:28:03.000> us

00:28:03.240 --> 00:28:10.720
actually<00:28:03.720> is<00:28:04.000> is<00:28:04.200> does<00:28:04.440> not<00:28:04.640> even<00:28:04.840> live<00:28:05.000> on<00:28:05.120> this<00:28:05.320> plane<00:28:06.160> that<00:28:06.360> we're<00:28:06.480> just<00:28:06.720> a<00:28:06.760> portion<00:28:07.240> of<00:28:07.400> us<00:28:07.560> here<00:28:08.240> and<00:28:08.400> the<00:28:08.480> rest<00:28:08.720> of<00:28:08.800> us<00:28:08.960> is<00:28:09.200> there<00:28:09.560> and<00:28:09.720> therefore<00:28:10.080> he<00:28:10.240> was<00:28:10.400> showing

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you<00:28:10.880> all<00:28:11.080> the<00:28:11.160> past<00:28:11.560> lives<00:28:12.120> that<00:28:12.480> he<00:28:12.800> as<00:28:12.960> the<00:28:13.040> higher<00:28:13.320> self<00:28:13.600> had<00:28:13.800> gone<00:28:14.080> through<00:28:14.400> and<00:28:14.520> you<00:28:14.680> just<00:28:14.880> having<00:28:15.360> having<00:28:15.720> been<00:28:15.920> the<00:28:15.960> most<00:28:16.200> recent<00:28:16.600> one<00:28:17.400> or<00:28:17.920> some<00:28:18.120> other<00:28:18.320> interpretation?

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Yeah,<00:28:19.720> I<00:28:19.840> have<00:28:20.000> a<00:28:20.160> different<00:28:20.680> interpretation<00:28:22.040> because<00:28:22.480> I<00:28:22.560> was<00:28:22.840> shown<00:28:24.040> over<00:28:24.360> there<00:28:24.600> in<00:28:24.680> the<00:28:24.800> second<00:28:25.120> part<00:28:25.360> of<00:28:25.920> the<00:28:26.000> experience<00:28:27.440> um

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that<00:28:28.560> you<00:28:28.640> can<00:28:28.880> access<00:28:29.400> your<00:28:29.560> higher<00:28:29.800> self.

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Um<00:28:32.120> it<00:28:32.320> was<00:28:32.520> something<00:28:32.880> else.

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It<00:28:33.240> was<00:28:33.480> a<00:28:33.880> god<00:28:34.280> being.<00:28:35.240> Uh<00:28:35.440> was<00:28:35.680> not<00:28:35.920> me.

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Was<00:28:36.520> not<00:28:36.760> my<00:28:36.920> higher<00:28:37.160> self.<00:28:37.360> Some<00:28:37.400> some<00:28:37.680> celestial<00:28:38.280> being<00:28:38.680> so<00:28:39.080> Yeah.

00:28:39.600 --> 00:28:48.040
a<00:28:39.920> cosmic<00:28:40.280> being<00:28:40.640> so<00:28:40.760> I<00:28:40.920> use<00:28:41.160> the<00:28:41.240> name<00:28:41.560> Jesus<00:28:42.120> or<00:28:42.240> Yeshua,<00:28:42.920> but<00:28:43.160> I<00:28:43.240> also<00:28:43.600> know<00:28:44.080> that<00:28:44.400> this<00:28:44.640> thing<00:28:44.880> is<00:28:45.040> beyond<00:28:45.840> and<00:28:45.920> I<00:28:46.120> thing<00:28:46.560> is<00:28:46.720> probably<00:28:47.800> not

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the<00:28:48.120> right<00:28:48.360> word,<00:28:48.680> but<00:28:49.160> it<00:28:49.440> is<00:28:49.720> beyond<00:28:51.400> um<00:28:52.240> man-made<00:28:53.200> identification.

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Like,<00:28:54.720> we<00:28:54.880> have<00:28:55.160> names<00:28:55.560> for<00:28:55.680> these<00:28:55.920> things<00:28:56.200> and<00:28:56.360> words<00:28:56.720> for<00:28:56.840> them,<00:28:57.080> but<00:28:57.240> I<00:28:57.320> will<00:28:57.440> tell<00:28:57.680> you<00:28:58.680> meeting<00:28:59.040> them<00:29:00.200> it<00:29:00.320> doesn't<00:29:00.640> cut<00:29:00.840> it.

00:29:01.320 --> 00:29:09.200
And<00:29:02.440> the<00:29:02.760> incredible<00:29:03.600> unconditional<00:29:04.280> love<00:29:04.560> I<00:29:04.640> felt<00:29:04.920> from<00:29:05.080> this<00:29:05.280> being<00:29:06.680> was<00:29:06.880> beyond<00:29:07.920> his<00:29:08.280> name.

00:29:09.200 --> 00:29:12.360
Right?<00:29:09.440> Like,<00:29:09.640> we<00:29:09.880> we<00:29:10.080> have<00:29:10.560> an<00:29:10.680> identity<00:29:11.160> and<00:29:11.280> we<00:29:11.400> shoe<00:29:11.680> box<00:29:12.040> people.

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We're<00:29:12.480> like,<00:29:12.720> okay,<00:29:12.920> he's<00:29:13.160> this.<00:29:14.040> You<00:29:14.160> put<00:29:14.360> all<00:29:14.560> the<00:29:14.680> stuff<00:29:15.120> in<00:29:15.320> and<00:29:15.400> you're<00:29:15.480> like,<00:29:15.680> okay,<00:29:15.920> there's<00:29:16.240> my<00:29:16.520> Yeshua<00:29:16.920> box<00:29:17.320> and<00:29:17.560> put<00:29:17.720> that<00:29:17.840> over<00:29:18.000> there<00:29:18.240> and<00:29:18.320> there's<00:29:18.520> my<00:29:18.600> Krishna

00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:26.800
box<00:29:19.400> and<00:29:19.520> there's<00:29:20.600> And<00:29:20.760> I<00:29:20.800> will<00:29:20.920> just<00:29:21.120> tell<00:29:21.360> you<00:29:21.520> that<00:29:21.640> whatever<00:29:22.000> boxes<00:29:22.520> we<00:29:22.680> have,<00:29:23.080> you<00:29:23.200> can<00:29:23.360> get<00:29:23.560> rid<00:29:23.760> of<00:29:24.000> because<00:29:24.360> it's<00:29:24.560> far<00:29:24.880> beyond<00:29:25.360> any<00:29:25.520> box.

00:29:26.800 --> 00:29:35.080
Um<00:29:27.680> And<00:29:27.800> it's<00:29:28.200> it<00:29:28.760> you<00:29:28.880> would<00:29:29.040> say,<00:29:29.720> and<00:29:29.840> I<00:29:29.880> don't<00:29:30.200> use<00:29:30.360> the<00:29:30.440> name<00:29:30.680> often<00:29:31.120> and<00:29:31.320> people<00:29:31.520> get<00:29:32.400> p,<00:29:32.720> you<00:29:32.840> know,<00:29:32.960> they<00:29:33.200> get<00:29:33.440> p'd<00:29:33.840> about<00:29:34.120> it.

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And<00:29:35.480> the<00:29:35.560> reason<00:29:35.920> I<00:29:36.000> don't<00:29:36.240> know<00:29:36.360> the<00:29:36.480> name<00:29:36.800> is<00:29:36.960> because<00:29:37.360> your<00:29:37.560> identification<00:29:38.480> of<00:29:38.640> what<00:29:38.760> it<00:29:38.880> is<00:29:39.080> here<00:29:40.720> is<00:29:40.880> through<00:29:41.120> something<00:29:41.520> that's<00:29:41.720> only<00:29:41.960> a<00:29:42.040> partial<00:29:42.440> truth.

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It's<00:29:43.600> much<00:29:43.840> bigger<00:29:44.200> than<00:29:44.360> everything<00:29:44.800> ever<00:29:45.040> written<00:29:45.400> here.

00:29:46.320 --> 00:29:51.080
Um<00:29:47.240> what<00:29:47.480> you<00:29:47.600> will<00:29:47.880> read<00:29:48.160> here<00:29:48.480> is<00:29:48.920> the<00:29:49.040> smallest<00:29:49.480> fraction<00:29:49.920> of<00:29:50.040> it.

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And<00:29:51.720> I<00:29:51.880> replace<00:29:52.480> that<00:29:52.720> name<00:29:53.040> with<00:29:53.240> love<00:29:53.840> because<00:29:54.240> that's<00:29:54.520> what<00:29:54.680> it<00:29:54.840> is.

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It's<00:29:55.600> an<00:29:55.720> unconditional<00:29:56.560> love,<00:29:57.800> you<00:29:57.880> know,<00:29:58.080> that<00:29:58.240> can<00:29:58.400> peel<00:29:58.640> paint<00:29:58.920> off<00:29:59.080> of<00:29:59.200> a<00:29:59.240> wall.

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It's<00:30:00.800> um<00:30:01.320> and<00:30:01.480> he<00:30:01.640> would<00:30:01.840> say<00:30:02.000> the<00:30:02.120> same<00:30:02.360> thing.

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It<00:30:03.080> he's<00:30:03.840> he<00:30:04.000> does<00:30:04.200> not<00:30:04.400> have<00:30:04.560> the<00:30:04.760> ego<00:30:05.080> that<00:30:05.280> says<00:30:05.480> call<00:30:05.720> me<00:30:05.840> by<00:30:06.040> my<00:30:06.200> right<00:30:06.480> name<00:30:06.840> or<00:30:07.000> else,<00:30:07.480> you<00:30:07.560> know,<00:30:07.800> it's<00:30:08.920> it<00:30:09.080> there<00:30:09.280> there<00:30:09.520> is<00:30:09.680> no<00:30:09.880> ego<00:30:10.320> in<00:30:10.440> that<00:30:10.640> state.

00:30:11.960 --> 00:30:16.280
So,<00:30:12.320> um<00:30:12.680> he<00:30:13.840> he<00:30:14.000> directed<00:30:14.600> my<00:30:15.200> life<00:30:15.520> review.

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And<00:30:16.480> it<00:30:16.560> just<00:30:16.760> started.<00:30:17.120> There<00:30:17.240> was<00:30:17.400> no<00:30:17.560> warning.<00:30:17.960> It<00:30:18.080> kind<00:30:18.280> of<00:30:18.400> after<00:30:18.760> his<00:30:19.040> message<00:30:19.520> of<00:30:19.760> I<00:30:19.840> am<00:30:19.960> you<00:30:20.120> and<00:30:20.200> you're<00:30:20.400> me,<00:30:21.800> it<00:30:21.920> just<00:30:22.120> started.

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And<00:30:24.400> I<00:30:24.480> would<00:30:24.600> just<00:30:24.800> say<00:30:24.960> that<00:30:25.160> my<00:30:25.280> life<00:30:25.520> review<00:30:25.760> was<00:30:25.880> spicy.

00:30:27.080 --> 00:30:35.720
Um<00:30:27.400> I<00:30:27.480> wasn't<00:30:27.800> the<00:30:27.880> best<00:30:28.120> guy.<00:30:28.600> I<00:30:28.760> did<00:30:30.120> have<00:30:30.720> experiences<00:30:31.560> in<00:30:31.680> life<00:30:31.960> review<00:30:32.240> that<00:30:32.400> I<00:30:32.440> said<00:30:33.400> I<00:30:33.520> would<00:30:33.720> say<00:30:34.040> are<00:30:34.320> beautiful<00:30:35.000> and<00:30:35.160> loving

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and<00:30:35.920> showed<00:30:36.280> me<00:30:37.000> when<00:30:37.200> I<00:30:37.320> was<00:30:37.760> love.

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But<00:30:39.200> a<00:30:39.280> lot<00:30:39.600> of<00:30:39.720> it<00:30:39.960> was<00:30:40.200> how<00:30:40.400> I<00:30:40.480> dealt<00:30:40.720> with<00:30:40.880> people.

00:30:41.840 --> 00:30:50.520
A<00:30:41.880> lot<00:30:42.200> of<00:30:42.320> it<00:30:42.560> was<00:30:43.680> understanding<00:30:44.200> I<00:30:44.240> was<00:30:44.360> just<00:30:44.520> walking<00:30:44.840> around<00:30:45.120> in<00:30:45.240> denial<00:30:45.920> of<00:30:46.120> what<00:30:46.320> I<00:30:46.440> was,<00:30:46.880> what<00:30:47.080> you<00:30:47.280> are,<00:30:47.520> what<00:30:47.680> everybody<00:30:48.200> is,<00:30:49.160> um<00:30:49.360> denying<00:30:49.800> my<00:30:49.960> connection

00:30:50.520 --> 00:30:54.280
to<00:30:50.680> others.<00:30:52.040> Uh<00:30:52.240> I<00:30:52.280> was<00:30:52.440> an<00:30:52.520> elitist,<00:30:53.520> right?

00:30:54.280 --> 00:30:58.320
Um<00:30:54.840> if<00:30:55.040> you<00:30:55.160> weren't<00:30:55.520> close<00:30:55.840> to<00:30:55.960> the<00:30:56.040> top<00:30:56.480> like<00:30:56.760> me,<00:30:57.080> why<00:30:57.240> would<00:30:57.440> I<00:30:57.520> even<00:30:57.760> talk<00:30:58.000> to<00:30:58.120> you?

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You're<00:30:58.440> not<00:30:58.640> worth<00:30:58.880> my<00:30:59.000> time.<00:31:00.440> And<00:31:00.600> during<00:31:00.800> that<00:31:00.960> life<00:31:01.440> review,<00:31:01.960> were<00:31:02.120> you<00:31:02.280> feeling<00:31:03.360> remorseful<00:31:04.480> or<00:31:04.920> guilt<00:31:05.440> you<00:31:05.520> know<00:31:06.240> embarrassed<00:31:07.200> or

00:31:07.640 --> 00:31:12.280
you<00:31:07.760> know<00:31:07.840> going<00:31:08.080> through<00:31:08.200> all<00:31:08.280> kinds<00:31:08.560> of<00:31:08.920> emotional<00:31:09.440> conniptions<00:31:10.080> because<00:31:10.480> of<00:31:10.600> the<00:31:10.720> influence<00:31:11.120> you'd<00:31:11.280> had<00:31:11.440> on<00:31:11.560> people?

00:31:12.280 --> 00:31:15.520
No,<00:31:12.640> you<00:31:12.760> know<00:31:12.920> what<00:31:13.040> it<00:31:13.200> was?<00:31:13.680> It's<00:31:14.240> It's<00:31:14.440> worse<00:31:14.760> than<00:31:14.920> that.

00:31:15.520 --> 00:31:24.400
It's<00:31:17.160> I<00:31:17.640> didn't<00:31:18.000> have<00:31:18.360> regret<00:31:19.000> or<00:31:19.200> I<00:31:19.280> didn't<00:31:19.640> have<00:31:20.800> um<00:31:22.200> the<00:31:22.400> emotional<00:31:23.000> side.

00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:31.280
When<00:31:24.600> you're<00:31:24.880> when<00:31:25.040> you're<00:31:25.200> there<00:31:25.520> with<00:31:25.680> this<00:31:25.880> being<00:31:26.360> and<00:31:26.520> you're<00:31:26.640> feeling<00:31:27.000> the<00:31:27.120> love<00:31:27.480> that<00:31:27.640> comes<00:31:27.920> from<00:31:28.080> this<00:31:28.280> being<00:31:28.840> and<00:31:29.080> you're<00:31:29.280> witnessing<00:31:30.080> yourself<00:31:30.680> play<00:31:31.040> out

00:31:31.280 --> 00:31:39.120
something<00:31:31.880> and<00:31:32.040> you're<00:31:32.160> either<00:31:32.440> in<00:31:32.640> your<00:31:32.800> body<00:31:33.240> or<00:31:33.480> in<00:31:33.600> somebody<00:31:34.000> else's<00:31:34.360> receiving<00:31:35.200> kind<00:31:35.400> of<00:31:35.480> the<00:31:35.600> garbage<00:31:36.040> you're<00:31:36.160> spitting<00:31:36.560> at<00:31:36.680> somebody,<00:31:38.080> you<00:31:38.320> recognize<00:31:39.000> that

00:31:39.120 --> 00:31:43.880
you're<00:31:39.280> letting<00:31:39.640> this<00:31:39.880> being<00:31:40.160> down.<00:31:41.360> And<00:31:41.560> that's<00:31:41.840> the<00:31:41.920> worst<00:31:42.200> feeling.

00:31:43.880 --> 00:31:49.800
It<00:31:44.120> It's<00:31:44.280> not<00:31:44.520> like<00:31:44.680> why<00:31:44.840> I<00:31:44.880> really<00:31:45.200> regret<00:31:47.040> um<00:31:47.880> you<00:31:48.000> know<00:31:48.120> like<00:31:48.400> treating<00:31:48.800> this<00:31:48.960> person<00:31:49.320> poorly.

00:31:49.800 --> 00:31:59.080
That's<00:31:50.040> very<00:31:50.280> human<00:31:50.720> calculation.<00:31:51.520> There<00:31:51.720> is<00:31:52.120> some<00:31:52.400> of<00:31:52.520> that<00:31:52.840> in<00:31:52.920> a<00:31:52.960> way,<00:31:53.240> but<00:31:53.560> what<00:31:53.920> really<00:31:54.320> hurts<00:31:54.840> is<00:31:55.040> when<00:31:55.280> you<00:31:55.440> understand<00:31:56.000> that<00:31:56.160> that<00:31:56.440> being<00:31:56.840> is<00:31:57.160> also<00:31:57.520> that<00:31:57.760> person

00:31:59.080 --> 00:32:01.600
that<00:31:59.320> you<00:31:59.480> had<00:31:59.680> spit<00:32:00.000> that<00:32:00.200> at.<00:32:01.240> Right?

00:32:01.600 --> 00:32:05.120
I<00:32:01.760> am<00:32:01.960> you,<00:32:02.200> you<00:32:02.400> are<00:32:02.520> me,<00:32:02.920> it<00:32:03.160> is<00:32:03.360> everything,<00:32:03.880> we<00:32:04.080> are<00:32:04.320> it.

00:32:05.120 --> 00:32:11.800
When<00:32:05.320> you<00:32:05.480> realize<00:32:06.120> what<00:32:06.280> you're<00:32:06.400> doing<00:32:06.760> to<00:32:06.880> somebody<00:32:07.280> else,<00:32:07.520> you're<00:32:07.640> doing<00:32:07.960> to<00:32:08.200> it,<00:32:09.320> then<00:32:09.920> that's<00:32:10.320> the<00:32:10.440> worst<00:32:10.720> feeling.

00:32:11.800 --> 00:32:18.040
Yeah,<00:32:12.080> I<00:32:12.560> remember<00:32:12.960> Jesus.<00:32:13.440> You<00:32:13.640> You<00:32:13.800> probably<00:32:14.320> don't<00:32:14.480> remember<00:32:14.800> this<00:32:14.960> 'cause<00:32:15.080> you<00:32:15.160> didn't<00:32:15.280> go<00:32:15.360> to<00:32:15.440> church,<00:32:15.720> but<00:32:16.200> Jesus<00:32:16.560> said,<00:32:16.857> [laughter]<00:32:17.160> you<00:32:17.240> know,<00:32:17.360> whatsoever<00:32:17.920> you

00:32:18.040 --> 00:32:20.200
do<00:32:18.200> unto<00:32:18.400> the<00:32:18.520> least<00:32:18.800> of<00:32:18.920> these,<00:32:19.200> you<00:32:19.280> do<00:32:19.440> unto<00:32:19.680> me.

00:32:20.200 --> 00:32:26.600
There<00:32:20.400> you<00:32:20.520> go.<00:32:21.000> There<00:32:21.200> you<00:32:21.280> go.<00:32:21.600> Perfect.<00:32:22.800> Uh<00:32:22.880> and<00:32:23.040> I<00:32:23.120> would<00:32:23.280> say<00:32:23.520> that's<00:32:24.040> the<00:32:24.160> feeling<00:32:24.920> that<00:32:25.160> is<00:32:25.320> the<00:32:25.440> worst.

00:32:26.600 --> 00:32:29.800
Because<00:32:26.960> you<00:32:27.080> recognize<00:32:27.640> how<00:32:27.800> much<00:32:28.040> love<00:32:28.320> you're<00:32:28.440> receiving<00:32:28.960> from<00:32:29.200> this<00:32:29.360> being.

00:32:29.800 --> 00:32:35.120
Like<00:32:30.120> unconditional<00:32:30.720> love.<00:32:30.960> Even<00:32:31.240> doing<00:32:31.520> the<00:32:31.640> worst<00:32:32.040> thing<00:32:32.280> I'd<00:32:32.440> ever<00:32:32.600> done<00:32:32.800> in<00:32:32.840> my<00:32:32.960> lifetime,<00:32:33.400> all<00:32:33.720> the<00:32:33.840> worst<00:32:34.080> things.

00:32:35.120 --> 00:32:37.960
Unconditionally<00:32:35.880> loved.<00:32:36.160> Not<00:32:36.360> even<00:32:36.560> a<00:32:36.640> flinch.

00:32:37.960 --> 00:32:43.600
And<00:32:38.200> it's<00:32:38.440> like<00:32:38.680> your<00:32:38.840> best<00:32:39.200> friend,<00:32:39.600> your<00:32:39.720> brother,<00:32:40.200> your<00:32:40.400> buddy,<00:32:41.040> your<00:32:41.320> maker,<00:32:41.840> your<00:32:42.360> all<00:32:42.640> kinds<00:32:42.920> of<00:32:43.000> things,<00:32:43.280> right?

00:32:43.600 --> 00:32:48.360
Wrapped<00:32:43.920> up<00:32:44.080> into<00:32:44.320> one<00:32:44.520> ball<00:32:44.840> and<00:32:44.960> you're<00:32:45.080> like,<00:32:46.440> I<00:32:46.680> let<00:32:46.880> you<00:32:47.000> down.

00:32:48.360 --> 00:32:56.640
You<00:32:48.560> know,<00:32:48.720> I<00:32:48.800> just<00:32:49.880> I<00:32:50.120> let<00:32:50.360> you<00:32:50.440> down<00:32:50.680> and<00:32:50.760> that<00:32:51.000> is<00:32:51.320> the<00:32:51.840> worst<00:32:52.920> feeling<00:32:54.520> that<00:32:54.920> I<00:32:55.000> can<00:32:55.200> put<00:32:55.640> it<00:32:55.800> like<00:32:56.240> I<00:32:56.400> tell

00:32:56.640 --> 00:33:02.840
everybody,<00:32:57.840> if<00:32:58.120> you<00:32:58.240> do<00:32:58.440> one<00:32:58.760> thing<00:32:59.080> here,<00:32:59.960> recognize<00:33:00.520> how<00:33:00.640> you<00:33:00.760> treat<00:33:01.000> people<00:33:01.320> 'cause<00:33:01.480> you<00:33:01.640> don't<00:33:02.000> want<00:33:02.160> to<00:33:02.240> feel<00:33:02.480> that.

00:33:02.840 --> 00:33:05.640
You<00:33:02.960> just<00:33:03.280> don't.<00:33:03.560> It's<00:33:04.000> It's<00:33:04.200> not<00:33:04.440> fun.

00:33:05.640 --> 00:33:14.000
It's<00:33:05.922> not<00:33:06.203> fun<00:33:06.485> at<00:33:06.766> all.<00:33:07.048> And<00:33:07.329> it's<00:33:07.611> not<00:33:07.892> about<00:33:08.174> like<00:33:08.455> how<00:33:08.737> many<00:33:09.018> F-bombs<00:33:09.300> I<00:33:09.582> dropped<00:33:09.863> or<00:33:10.145> how<00:33:10.426> much<00:33:10.708> porn<00:33:10.989> I<00:33:11.271> watched<00:33:11.552> or<00:33:11.834> like<00:33:12.115> those<00:33:12.397> are<00:33:12.678> human<00:33:12.960> things.

00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:16.240
But<00:33:14.240> it's<00:33:14.400> about<00:33:14.680> our<00:33:14.800> connection<00:33:15.520> to<00:33:15.720> each<00:33:15.880> other.

00:33:16.240 --> 00:33:19.760
It's<00:33:16.400> about<00:33:16.640> understanding<00:33:17.520> how<00:33:17.840> connected<00:33:18.560> we<00:33:18.720> are<00:33:18.880> to<00:33:19.080> each<00:33:19.240> other.

00:33:19.760 --> 00:33:22.680
It's<00:33:19.840> about<00:33:20.000> understanding<00:33:20.480> we<00:33:20.640> are<00:33:20.760> love<00:33:21.000> itself<00:33:21.480> in<00:33:21.600> a<00:33:21.640> way.

00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:27.360
And<00:33:24.160> I<00:33:24.440> would<00:33:24.600> say<00:33:24.760> that<00:33:24.960> was<00:33:25.200> the<00:33:25.320> biggest<00:33:25.640> takeaway<00:33:26.000> for<00:33:26.160> me<00:33:26.560> in<00:33:26.760> my<00:33:26.920> experience.

00:33:27.360 --> 00:33:31.160
I<00:33:27.400> can't<00:33:27.600> speak<00:33:27.840> for<00:33:27.920> anybody<00:33:28.280> else's,<00:33:28.720> but<00:33:30.000> that<00:33:30.400> was<00:33:30.600> rough.

00:33:31.160 --> 00:33:35.760
You<00:33:31.280> say<00:33:31.440> that<00:33:31.600> we're<00:33:31.720> not<00:33:32.000> judged,<00:33:32.480> but<00:33:32.640> it<00:33:32.760> sounds<00:33:33.080> here<00:33:33.320> like<00:33:33.600> you<00:33:33.880> were<00:33:34.000> judging<00:33:34.360> yourself<00:33:35.000> at<00:33:35.120> that<00:33:35.320> point.

00:33:35.760 --> 00:33:43.920
Correct.<00:33:36.840> This<00:33:37.440> this<00:33:37.760> being<00:33:38.360> wasn't<00:33:38.760> like,<00:33:39.240> you<00:33:39.360> know,<00:33:39.520> giving<00:33:39.800> you<00:33:39.880> a<00:33:39.920> hard<00:33:40.160> time,<00:33:40.440> but<00:33:40.600> it's<00:33:40.800> like,<00:33:41.000> okay,<00:33:41.240> let<00:33:41.440> me<00:33:41.600> just<00:33:42.640> play<00:33:42.800> this<00:33:42.960> movie<00:33:43.240> for<00:33:43.480> you<00:33:43.560> and<00:33:43.680> see<00:33:43.800> how

00:33:43.920 --> 00:33:47.760
you<00:33:44.040> feel.<00:33:44.440> Yeah,<00:33:44.880> it's<00:33:45.080> like<00:33:45.240> in<00:33:45.400> that<00:33:45.640> space<00:33:46.160> the<00:33:46.280> human<00:33:46.640> filter<00:33:47.080> is<00:33:47.240> removed.

00:33:47.760 --> 00:33:52.440
Sometimes<00:33:48.200> I<00:33:48.280> say,<00:33:49.240> you<00:33:49.360> know,<00:33:49.560> we<00:33:50.000> we<00:33:50.240> have<00:33:50.400> excuses<00:33:50.960> here<00:33:51.160> why<00:33:51.480> we<00:33:51.720> act<00:33:51.920> a<00:33:52.000> certain<00:33:52.240> way.

00:33:52.440 --> 00:34:00.080
Like<00:33:52.680> I<00:33:52.760> could<00:33:52.920> have<00:33:53.040> taken<00:33:53.320> everything<00:33:53.840> in<00:33:53.960> my<00:33:54.160> life<00:33:54.480> review<00:33:54.800> and<00:33:54.920> said,<00:33:55.880> you<00:33:56.000> know,<00:33:56.120> from<00:33:56.320> the<00:33:56.440> age<00:33:56.640> of<00:33:56.760> 21<00:33:57.440> to<00:33:57.600> 46<00:33:58.280> everything<00:33:58.640> that<00:33:58.760> I<00:33:58.840> did<00:33:59.080> bad<00:33:59.360> was<00:33:59.520> because<00:33:59.840> I<00:33:59.880> was

00:34:00.080 --> 00:34:02.640
stressed<00:34:00.600> because<00:34:00.880> I<00:34:00.920> was<00:34:01.080> working<00:34:01.400> a<00:34:01.480> lot<00:34:01.680> of<00:34:01.800> hours,<00:34:02.400> right?

00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:06.120
That's<00:34:02.840> an<00:34:02.920> excuse.<00:34:04.400> There's<00:34:04.720> no<00:34:04.960> excuse<00:34:05.440> there.

00:34:06.120 --> 00:34:10.440
It<00:34:06.240> doesn't<00:34:06.520> exist.<00:34:06.960> There's<00:34:07.120> no<00:34:07.280> like<00:34:07.520> you're<00:34:07.680> too<00:34:07.840> tired,<00:34:08.240> you<00:34:08.320> know,<00:34:08.440> you<00:34:08.560> were<00:34:08.679> tired<00:34:09.080> and<00:34:09.200> you<00:34:09.320> yelled<00:34:09.639> at<00:34:09.760> your<00:34:09.879> kid,<00:34:10.240> right?

00:34:10.440 --> 00:34:14.800
There<00:34:11.480> We're<00:34:11.720> going<00:34:12.159> to<00:34:12.320> do<00:34:12.560> these<00:34:12.800> things<00:34:13.159> because<00:34:13.520> we're<00:34:13.639> here<00:34:13.840> to<00:34:14.000> experience.

00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:23.440
However,<00:34:15.520> if<00:34:15.720> you're<00:34:15.879> awake<00:34:16.399> to<00:34:16.600> that<00:34:17.040> fact<00:34:17.480> that<00:34:17.679> this<00:34:17.879> is<00:34:18.000> an<00:34:18.120> experience,<00:34:19.879> you<00:34:20.080> won't<00:34:20.440> have<00:34:20.679> the<00:34:20.800> excuse<00:34:21.399> of<00:34:21.520> why<00:34:21.679> you<00:34:21.840> do<00:34:22.080> certain<00:34:22.399> things.

00:34:23.440 --> 00:34:25.639
And<00:34:23.679> that<00:34:24.040> that<00:34:24.240> was<00:34:24.399> the<00:34:24.560> eye-opening<00:34:25.120> piece<00:34:25.399> for<00:34:25.480> me.

00:34:25.639 --> 00:34:31.960
There<00:34:25.760> was<00:34:25.879> no<00:34:26.000> judgment<00:34:26.520> from<00:34:26.639> that<00:34:26.800> being<00:34:27.159> whatsoever<00:34:28.320> and<00:34:28.480> I'd<00:34:28.800> done<00:34:29.120> some<00:34:29.520> really<00:34:30.000> crazy<00:34:30.480> nasty<00:34:30.919> things.

00:34:31.960 --> 00:34:36.080
You<00:34:32.159> just<00:34:32.440> weren't<00:34:32.600> awake.<00:34:33.320> Yeah.<00:34:34.320> Remember<00:34:34.679> what<00:34:34.800> Jesus<00:34:35.200> said<00:34:35.480> on<00:34:35.600> the<00:34:35.679> cross.

00:34:36.080 --> 00:34:39.440
He<00:34:36.200> said<00:34:37.000> he<00:34:37.080> said<00:34:37.240> forgive<00:34:37.600> them,<00:34:37.760> Father,<00:34:38.120> they<00:34:38.280> know<00:34:38.480> not<00:34:38.720> what<00:34:38.840> they<00:34:38.960> do.

00:34:39.440 --> 00:34:43.080
Absolutely,<00:34:40.320> absolutely.<00:34:41.120> And<00:34:41.280> it's<00:34:42.159> it's<00:34:42.639> weird.

00:34:43.080 --> 00:34:46.120
It's<00:34:43.240> like<00:34:43.440> you're<00:34:43.760> you<00:34:44.000> feel<00:34:44.280> like<00:34:44.480> a<00:34:44.520> child<00:34:45.280> there.

00:34:46.120 --> 00:34:48.520
Like<00:34:46.411> we<00:34:46.703> we<00:34:46.994> live<00:34:47.285> a<00:34:47.576> complete<00:34:47.868> adult<00:34:48.159> life.

00:34:48.520 --> 00:34:56.200
We<00:34:48.639> think<00:34:48.879> we<00:34:48.960> know<00:34:49.159> what's<00:34:49.399> up.<00:34:50.560> You<00:34:50.639> know,<00:34:50.840> you<00:34:51.040> die<00:34:51.480> and<00:34:51.600> you<00:34:51.679> have<00:34:51.840> an<00:34:51.919> experience<00:34:52.360> you're<00:34:52.440> like,<00:34:52.679> oh,<00:34:53.600> I<00:34:53.760> was<00:34:54.040> eating<00:34:54.440> I<00:34:54.520> was<00:34:54.679> the<00:34:54.760> kid<00:34:55.000> in<00:34:55.080> the<00:34:55.159> corner<00:34:55.520> of<00:34:55.639> kindergarten

00:34:56.200 --> 00:34:58.440
just<00:34:56.399> eating<00:34:56.600> crayons.<00:34:57.160> I<00:34:57.200> thought<00:34:57.440> I<00:34:57.480> knew<00:34:57.680> what<00:34:57.800> I<00:34:57.880> was<00:34:58.040> doing.

00:34:58.440 --> 00:35:06.720
You<00:34:58.520> know,<00:34:58.680> it's<00:34:58.880> like<00:34:59.880> you<00:35:00.080> just<00:35:00.360> have<00:35:00.600> this<00:35:00.960> difference<00:35:01.640> of<00:35:01.800> feeling<00:35:02.360> between<00:35:02.840> you<00:35:03.320> and<00:35:03.560> what<00:35:03.680> it<00:35:03.840> really<00:35:04.160> is<00:35:04.560> and<00:35:04.720> you<00:35:04.800> just<00:35:05.080> realize<00:35:05.520> we're<00:35:05.640> all<00:35:05.760> children<00:35:06.240> here<00:35:06.480> just

00:35:06.720 --> 00:35:12.840
feeling<00:35:07.040> our<00:35:07.160> way<00:35:07.320> through<00:35:07.640> it.<00:35:08.000> We're<00:35:08.200> all<00:35:08.440> in<00:35:08.560> the<00:35:08.680> stage<00:35:09.320> of<00:35:10.120> trying<00:35:10.480> to<00:35:10.600> remember<00:35:11.120> what<00:35:11.320> this<00:35:11.520> is<00:35:11.680> about.

00:35:12.840 --> 00:35:20.920
And<00:35:13.240> how<00:35:13.600> could<00:35:14.200> a<00:35:14.320> God<00:35:14.800> being<00:35:15.320> in<00:35:15.520> a<00:35:15.680> in<00:35:15.840> a<00:35:15.920> sense<00:35:16.440> look<00:35:16.720> at<00:35:16.880> you<00:35:17.040> and<00:35:17.160> go,<00:35:17.400> well,<00:35:17.960> you<00:35:18.040> know,<00:35:18.240> when<00:35:18.400> you<00:35:18.520> were<00:35:18.720> 16<00:35:19.920> you<00:35:20.120> did<00:35:20.360> this<00:35:20.720> and<00:35:20.840> I'm

00:35:20.920 --> 00:35:24.280
going<00:35:21.040> to<00:35:21.120> punish<00:35:21.480> you<00:35:21.600> for<00:35:21.840> it.<00:35:22.680> There's<00:35:22.840> no<00:35:23.000> punishment<00:35:23.560> in<00:35:23.680> a<00:35:23.720> sense.

00:35:24.280 --> 00:35:27.840
So,<00:35:25.040> it's<00:35:25.280> beautiful.<00:35:26.200> It's<00:35:26.680> it<00:35:26.800> was<00:35:26.960> a<00:35:27.000> little<00:35:27.280> rough.

00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:35.640
I<00:35:27.920> mean,<00:35:29.040> to<00:35:29.200> feel<00:35:29.480> that<00:35:29.720> feeling<00:35:30.720> through<00:35:31.320> the<00:35:31.440> experiences<00:35:32.120> of<00:35:32.240> others<00:35:32.720> and<00:35:33.080> things<00:35:33.360> that<00:35:33.520> I<00:35:33.600> had<00:35:33.760> done<00:35:34.040> wasn't<00:35:34.320> great.

00:35:35.640 --> 00:35:43.760
But<00:35:36.280> you<00:35:36.480> leave<00:35:36.840> it<00:35:37.040> like<00:35:37.240> I<00:35:37.320> remember<00:35:37.720> when<00:35:37.880> it<00:35:38.120> ended<00:35:38.840> and<00:35:39.000> it<00:35:39.120> was<00:35:39.360> just<00:35:39.680> like<00:35:40.160> it<00:35:40.320> happened<00:35:40.680> instant<00:35:41.160> it<00:35:41.240> felt<00:35:41.440> like<00:35:41.560> it<00:35:41.640> was<00:35:41.800> instantaneously<00:35:42.880> and<00:35:43.040> a<00:35:43.080> hundred<00:35:43.520> years

00:35:43.760 --> 00:35:45.480
long.<00:35:44.400> It<00:35:44.560> was<00:35:44.720> the<00:35:44.840> weirdest<00:35:45.280> thing.

00:35:45.480 --> 00:35:49.920
It<00:35:45.560> was<00:35:46.240> both<00:35:46.680> at<00:35:46.840> once<00:35:47.160> and<00:35:47.280> I<00:35:47.320> can't<00:35:47.560> explain<00:35:47.960> that<00:35:48.280> in<00:35:48.680> human<00:35:49.000> terms.

00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:57.200
But<00:35:50.080> I<00:35:50.120> remember<00:35:50.520> when<00:35:50.720> it<00:35:50.920> ended<00:35:51.480> and<00:35:51.640> just<00:35:52.080> turning<00:35:53.560> turning<00:35:54.000> and<00:35:54.160> looking<00:35:54.480> at<00:35:54.640> this<00:35:54.800> being<00:35:55.120> and<00:35:55.200> it<00:35:55.280> was<00:35:55.440> just<00:35:55.600> like<00:35:55.880> radiating<00:35:56.600> love.

00:35:57.200 --> 00:36:05.840
Just<00:35:57.640> like,<00:35:58.320> now<00:35:58.560> you<00:35:58.720> know<00:35:59.360> and<00:35:59.480> I<00:35:59.560> love<00:35:59.880> you<00:36:00.760> incredibly<00:36:01.440> because<00:36:01.800> you<00:36:01.920> know<00:36:02.720> you<00:36:02.920> know<00:36:03.440> what<00:36:03.640> it<00:36:03.760> is<00:36:04.040> now<00:36:04.360> and<00:36:04.520> I<00:36:04.560> just<00:36:04.840> remember<00:36:05.120> that<00:36:05.400> feeling

00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:10.400
was<00:36:06.040> so<00:36:06.320> overwhelming.<00:36:07.960> Um<00:36:08.680> it<00:36:08.800> just<00:36:09.000> changed<00:36:09.440> me<00:36:09.560> on<00:36:09.720> the<00:36:09.800> spot.

00:36:10.400 --> 00:36:14.320
It<00:36:10.840> it<00:36:11.000> just<00:36:11.240> made<00:36:11.440> me<00:36:11.600> realize<00:36:13.000> what<00:36:13.280> connection<00:36:13.800> meant.

00:36:14.320 --> 00:36:17.640
Like<00:36:14.960> you<00:36:15.280> know<00:36:15.720> everybody<00:36:16.240> here<00:36:16.480> on<00:36:16.600> this<00:36:16.800> planet.

00:36:17.640 --> 00:36:20.760
You<00:36:17.720> don't<00:36:17.960> realize<00:36:18.440> you<00:36:18.560> know<00:36:18.760> everybody<00:36:19.160> here<00:36:19.360> on<00:36:19.480> this<00:36:19.640> planet,<00:36:19.960> but<00:36:20.160> you<00:36:20.280> do.

00:36:20.760 --> 00:36:26.720
We're<00:36:20.880> connected<00:36:21.320> to<00:36:21.440> people.<00:36:23.400> Do<00:36:23.520> you<00:36:23.560> think<00:36:23.760> everybody<00:36:24.400> encounters<00:36:24.880> something<00:36:25.120> like<00:36:25.280> this<00:36:25.480> when<00:36:25.600> they<00:36:25.720> cross<00:36:26.080> over?

00:36:26.720 --> 00:36:29.200
You<00:36:26.880> know,<00:36:27.080> Adolf<00:36:27.440> Hitler<00:36:27.920> is<00:36:28.120> "Hey,<00:36:28.520> welcome<00:36:28.800> home."

00:36:29.200 --> 00:36:35.880
you<00:36:29.320> know,<00:36:29.400> you<00:36:29.480> know.<00:36:30.800> Or<00:36:30.920> do<00:36:31.000> you<00:36:31.080> think<00:36:31.280> there's<00:36:31.520> some<00:36:31.800> kind<00:36:32.240> of<00:36:33.000> variation<00:36:34.160> depending<00:36:34.520> upon<00:36:34.840> how<00:36:35.040> we've<00:36:35.320> behaved?

00:36:35.880 --> 00:36:39.320
I<00:36:35.920> mean,<00:36:36.080> you're<00:36:36.240> kind<00:36:36.520> of<00:36:36.600> a<00:36:36.920> innocent<00:36:37.240> little<00:36:37.400> Boy<00:36:37.600> Scout<00:36:37.920> compared<00:36:38.200> to<00:36:38.280> somebody<00:36:38.520> like<00:36:38.720> that.

00:36:39.320 --> 00:36:46.840
Yeah.<00:36:39.720> And<00:36:40.200> uh<00:36:40.360> and<00:36:40.520> then<00:36:40.720> how<00:36:40.880> does<00:36:41.120> it<00:36:41.840> I<00:36:42.000> I<00:36:42.200> don't<00:36:42.440> use<00:36:42.600> the<00:36:42.680> word<00:36:43.000> the<00:36:43.120> word<00:36:43.480> retribution<00:36:44.280> would<00:36:44.400> be<00:36:44.520> the<00:36:44.640> wrong<00:36:44.960> word,<00:36:45.120> but<00:36:45.320> how<00:36:45.560> does<00:36:45.920> the<00:36:46.080> how<00:36:46.200> do<00:36:46.280> the<00:36:46.400> scales

00:36:46.840 --> 00:36:50.720
get<00:36:47.080> balanced<00:36:48.000> if<00:36:48.120> a<00:36:48.200> person<00:36:48.600> has<00:36:48.800> lived<00:36:49.080> a<00:36:49.160> really<00:36:49.600> horrible<00:36:50.040> life?

00:36:50.720 --> 00:36:56.000
And<00:36:51.560> you<00:36:51.640> know,<00:36:52.280> uh<00:36:53.080> and<00:36:53.400> and<00:36:53.560> obviously<00:36:53.920> as<00:36:54.080> a<00:36:54.160> soul<00:36:54.520> they're<00:36:54.680> going<00:36:54.800> to<00:36:54.920> continue<00:36:55.360> evolving.

00:36:56.000 --> 00:36:58.280
So,<00:36:56.520> how<00:36:56.680> would<00:36:56.880> how<00:36:57.080> would<00:36:57.200> does<00:36:57.320> that<00:36:57.520> get<00:36:57.720> worked<00:36:58.120> out?

00:36:58.280 --> 00:37:03.280
I<00:36:58.360> mean,<00:36:58.560> obviously<00:36:58.960> some<00:36:59.200> traditions<00:36:59.680> talk<00:36:59.920> about<00:37:00.240> hell<00:37:00.760> and<00:37:01.320> all<00:37:01.440> that<00:37:01.640> stuff,<00:37:02.000> but<00:37:02.240> um<00:37:02.360> what's<00:37:02.520> your<00:37:02.680> take?

00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:07.840
Uh<00:37:03.920> I<00:37:04.600> know<00:37:04.880> that<00:37:05.080> there's<00:37:05.280> no<00:37:05.560> hell<00:37:06.360> other<00:37:06.640> than<00:37:06.800> what<00:37:07.000> we<00:37:07.120> manufacture.

00:37:07.840 --> 00:37:10.680
If<00:37:07.960> you<00:37:08.080> believe<00:37:08.440> in<00:37:08.520> it,<00:37:08.640> you<00:37:08.760> will<00:37:08.880> manufacture<00:37:09.520> some<00:37:09.720> version<00:37:10.080> of<00:37:10.200> it<00:37:10.320> there.

00:37:10.680 --> 00:37:18.240
That's<00:37:11.000> in<00:37:11.080> the<00:37:11.200> studies<00:37:11.600> as<00:37:11.760> well.<00:37:12.920> But<00:37:13.800> for<00:37:14.000> someone<00:37:14.640> of<00:37:15.120> that<00:37:15.520> cloth,<00:37:16.680> there<00:37:16.920> are<00:37:17.240> two<00:37:17.560> parts<00:37:17.880> to<00:37:17.960> that.

00:37:18.240 --> 00:37:24.120
The<00:37:18.360> first<00:37:18.680> part<00:37:18.920> is<00:37:19.160> how<00:37:19.280> much<00:37:19.480> of<00:37:19.600> that<00:37:19.800> was<00:37:19.960> his<00:37:20.120> own<00:37:20.280> free<00:37:20.520> will<00:37:20.840> and<00:37:21.000> how<00:37:21.160> much<00:37:21.360> of<00:37:21.440> that<00:37:21.640> was<00:37:21.800> he<00:37:21.920> supposed<00:37:22.360> to<00:37:22.480> do.

00:37:24.120 --> 00:37:28.240
The<00:37:24.360> the<00:37:24.560> hard<00:37:24.880> part<00:37:25.240> to<00:37:25.360> understand<00:37:25.960> is<00:37:26.120> our<00:37:26.280> lives<00:37:26.600> are<00:37:26.720> actually<00:37:27.120> really<00:37:27.480> planned.

00:37:28.240 --> 00:37:31.880
We<00:37:28.400> don't<00:37:28.600> have<00:37:28.800> as<00:37:28.920> much<00:37:29.120> agency<00:37:29.720> as<00:37:29.960> we<00:37:30.120> would<00:37:30.320> like<00:37:30.480> to<00:37:30.600> believe.

00:37:31.880 --> 00:37:37.960
And<00:37:32.160> everything<00:37:32.680> here<00:37:33.080> serves<00:37:33.400> as<00:37:33.520> contrast<00:37:34.080> for<00:37:34.200> somebody<00:37:34.640> else<00:37:34.880> to<00:37:35.000> have<00:37:35.680> the<00:37:35.920> opportunity<00:37:36.680> to<00:37:36.800> be<00:37:36.920> a<00:37:36.960> loving<00:37:37.280> person,<00:37:37.800> right?

00:37:37.960 --> 00:37:43.000
If<00:37:38.080> everybody<00:37:38.480> here<00:37:38.640> is<00:37:38.800> perfect,<00:37:39.360> no<00:37:39.480> one<00:37:39.640> had<00:37:39.760> have<00:37:39.960> the<00:37:40.120> opportunity<00:37:40.640> to<00:37:40.800> love<00:37:41.000> anybody<00:37:41.400> because<00:37:41.680> you'd<00:37:41.800> be<00:37:41.880> like<00:37:42.080> everything's<00:37:42.480> perfect.

00:37:43.000 --> 00:37:50.280
We<00:37:43.080> just<00:37:43.240> walk<00:37:43.440> around<00:37:43.720> and<00:37:43.800> love,<00:37:44.160> but<00:37:45.240> when<00:37:45.440> people<00:37:45.680> are<00:37:45.800> hurting<00:37:46.160> or<00:37:46.280> people<00:37:46.560> are<00:37:46.680> suffering<00:37:47.240> or<00:37:47.440> you<00:37:47.560> see<00:37:48.240> injustice<00:37:48.880> in<00:37:48.960> the<00:37:49.040> world,<00:37:49.360> that<00:37:49.520> is<00:37:49.640> your<00:37:49.800> opportunity

00:37:50.280 --> 00:37:53.960
to<00:37:50.440> choose<00:37:50.800> love.<00:37:51.360> Often<00:37:51.680> times<00:37:51.960> we<00:37:52.080> don't,<00:37:52.360> we<00:37:52.440> choose<00:37:52.720> action.

00:37:53.960 --> 00:38:01.120
But<00:37:54.600> in<00:37:54.880> in<00:37:55.120> this<00:37:55.360> case,<00:37:55.840> I<00:37:55.920> would<00:37:56.160> say<00:37:57.120> uh<00:37:57.240> from<00:37:57.480> what<00:37:57.680> I<00:37:57.760> felt<00:37:58.160> in<00:37:58.320> my<00:37:58.440> life<00:37:58.760> review,<00:37:59.200> that<00:37:59.480> person,<00:37:59.880> let's<00:38:00.040> say<00:38:00.120> it<00:38:00.200> was<00:38:00.360> all<00:38:00.520> free<00:38:00.720> will.

00:38:01.120 --> 00:38:03.760
Yeah,<00:38:01.560> their<00:38:01.760> life<00:38:02.040> review<00:38:02.280> is<00:38:02.400> going<00:38:02.560> to<00:38:02.640> be<00:38:02.800> a<00:38:02.920> bear.

00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:06.920
It<00:38:03.960> might<00:38:04.160> be<00:38:04.280> eternity<00:38:05.000> in<00:38:05.160> that<00:38:05.360> review.

00:38:06.920 --> 00:38:12.480
Right?<00:38:07.120> There's<00:38:07.280> no<00:38:07.440> time<00:38:07.960> there,<00:38:09.240> but<00:38:09.400> there<00:38:09.520> are<00:38:09.600> parts<00:38:09.960> of<00:38:10.080> it<00:38:10.240> that<00:38:10.400> felt<00:38:10.760> eternal,<00:38:11.400> for<00:38:11.560> sure.

00:38:12.480 --> 00:38:17.800
And<00:38:12.560> it's<00:38:12.680> like<00:38:12.840> how<00:38:13.120> long<00:38:13.520> was<00:38:13.760> I<00:38:13.880> feeling<00:38:14.760> that<00:38:15.000> disappointment<00:38:16.160> of<00:38:16.480> letting<00:38:16.880> this<00:38:17.120> being<00:38:17.400> down?

00:38:17.800 --> 00:38:20.880
Was<00:38:17.960> that<00:38:18.120> a<00:38:18.200> second?<00:38:18.880> Was<00:38:19.000> that<00:38:19.160> a<00:38:19.200> minute?<00:38:19.720> Was<00:38:19.880> that<00:38:20.040> a<00:38:20.080> hundred<00:38:20.480> years?

00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:29.360
Was<00:38:21.000> that<00:38:21.360> eternity<00:38:22.160> itself?<00:38:23.560> It<00:38:23.840> the<00:38:23.960> feelings<00:38:24.440> are<00:38:24.560> so<00:38:24.880> strong<00:38:25.840> and<00:38:26.120> you<00:38:26.240> don't<00:38:26.480> have<00:38:26.680> anything<00:38:27.120> to<00:38:27.600> to<00:38:27.760> judge<00:38:28.160> them<00:38:28.480> or<00:38:28.960> or

00:38:29.360 --> 00:38:33.960
filter<00:38:29.840> them<00:38:30.040> in<00:38:30.160> any<00:38:30.360> way.<00:38:31.960> I<00:38:32.080> have<00:38:32.200> no<00:38:32.360> idea<00:38:32.640> how<00:38:33.120> how<00:38:33.360> long<00:38:33.600> it<00:38:33.720> is.

00:38:33.960 --> 00:38:38.080
But<00:38:34.120> let's<00:38:34.320> say<00:38:34.520> he<00:38:34.720> did<00:38:35.920> commit<00:38:36.280> all<00:38:36.400> those<00:38:36.600> things<00:38:36.840> out<00:38:36.920> of<00:38:37.000> his<00:38:37.120> own<00:38:37.280> free<00:38:37.480> will.

00:38:38.080 --> 00:38:41.000
Oof.<00:38:39.440> Yeah.<00:38:40.160> Oh,<00:38:40.600> wow.

00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:44.800
What<00:38:41.240> he's<00:38:41.480> going<00:38:41.600> to<00:38:41.680> feel?<00:38:43.120> Yeah,<00:38:43.360> might<00:38:43.600> be<00:38:43.760> an<00:38:43.880> eternity.

00:38:44.800 --> 00:38:47.360
Will<00:38:45.040> he<00:38:45.200> come<00:38:45.440> back?<00:38:46.040> Yeah,<00:38:46.800> certainly.

00:38:47.360 --> 00:38:55.720
He'll<00:38:47.520> have<00:38:47.800> to.<00:38:48.760> But<00:38:49.280> if<00:38:49.560> it's<00:38:49.800> part<00:38:50.400> of<00:38:50.600> something<00:38:51.080> that<00:38:51.200> he<00:38:51.360> was<00:38:51.520> supposed<00:38:51.880> to<00:38:51.960> do,<00:38:53.280> yeah,<00:38:53.640> is<00:38:53.880> he<00:38:54.040> going<00:38:54.400> to<00:38:54.560> be<00:38:54.720> judged?

00:38:55.720 --> 00:39:00.040
No.<00:38:57.040> No.<00:38:58.320> Yeah,<00:38:58.480> that's<00:38:58.680> a<00:38:58.760> tough<00:38:59.000> one<00:38:59.160> for<00:38:59.320> people<00:38:59.560> to<00:38:59.640> swallow.

00:39:00.040 --> 00:39:06.160
And<00:39:00.160> we<00:39:00.280> can<00:39:00.440> spend<00:39:00.680> an<00:39:00.800> hour<00:39:01.040> talking<00:39:01.440> about<00:39:01.720> it,<00:39:01.800> you<00:39:01.880> know,<00:39:02.040> if<00:39:02.160> he<00:39:02.320> was<00:39:02.600> if<00:39:02.720> Hitler<00:39:02.960> was<00:39:03.080> supposed<00:39:03.400> to<00:39:03.480> do<00:39:03.680> that<00:39:04.000> and<00:39:04.080> then<00:39:04.200> if<00:39:04.320> all<00:39:04.440> the<00:39:04.560> people<00:39:05.200> all<00:39:05.320> of<00:39:05.400> his<00:39:05.600> victims

00:39:06.160 --> 00:39:13.400
were<00:39:06.240> supposed<00:39:06.600> to<00:39:06.720> experience<00:39:07.280> that,<00:39:07.880> there's<00:39:08.120> a<00:39:08.200> whole<00:39:08.520> metaphysical<00:39:09.440> can<00:39:09.680> of<00:39:09.760> worms<00:39:10.240> that<00:39:10.400> would<00:39:10.520> have<00:39:10.720> to<00:39:10.840> be<00:39:11.240> sorted<00:39:11.920> through<00:39:12.120> to<00:39:12.200> come<00:39:12.440> to<00:39:12.560> terms<00:39:13.040> with<00:39:13.200> it.

00:39:13.400 --> 00:39:18.027
So<00:39:13.760> Eternal.<00:39:14.400> But<00:39:15.080> in<00:39:15.200> the<00:39:15.280> interest<00:39:15.600> of<00:39:15.720> time,<00:39:16.040> we'll<00:39:16.160> probably<00:39:16.520> have<00:39:16.680> to<00:39:16.800> keep<00:39:17.040> going.

00:39:18.027 --> 00:39:22.280
[laughter]<00:39:18.960> So<00:39:19.200> after<00:39:19.600> the<00:39:19.760> life<00:39:20.000> review,<00:39:20.320> I<00:39:20.400> just<00:39:20.600> felt<00:39:20.880> the<00:39:21.120> connection<00:39:21.600> to<00:39:21.720> all<00:39:21.880> things.

00:39:22.280 --> 00:39:26.320
It<00:39:22.640> It<00:39:22.760> just<00:39:22.960> changed<00:39:23.280> me.<00:39:23.400> I<00:39:23.480> realized,<00:39:24.720> you<00:39:24.840> know,<00:39:24.960> I<00:39:25.040> always<00:39:25.560> felt<00:39:25.840> alone.

00:39:26.320 --> 00:39:29.760
I<00:39:26.440> always<00:39:26.680> felt<00:39:27.320> singled<00:39:27.760> out.<00:39:28.000> I<00:39:28.040> felt<00:39:28.320> like<00:39:28.480> a<00:39:28.520> lone<00:39:28.800> wolf<00:39:29.080> kind<00:39:29.280> of<00:39:29.360> guy.

00:39:29.760 --> 00:39:35.160
And<00:39:30.320> I<00:39:30.440> had<00:39:30.760> the<00:39:31.040> group<00:39:31.360> of<00:39:31.520> wolves<00:39:31.880> that<00:39:32.040> I<00:39:32.080> hung<00:39:32.320> out<00:39:32.480> with,<00:39:32.960> other<00:39:33.240> animals<00:39:33.680> like<00:39:33.880> myself.

00:39:35.160 --> 00:39:44.000
And<00:39:35.960> I<00:39:36.120> just<00:39:36.960> then<00:39:37.720> realized<00:39:39.040> we're<00:39:39.320> so<00:39:39.520> much<00:39:39.720> more<00:39:39.880> connected<00:39:40.320> than<00:39:40.440> you<00:39:40.520> could<00:39:40.640> possibly<00:39:41.040> imagine,<00:39:41.480> deeper<00:39:41.800> than<00:39:42.000> any<00:39:42.200> familial<00:39:42.680> tie.

00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:52.440
And<00:39:44.160> then<00:39:44.520> I<00:39:44.600> was<00:39:44.760> given<00:39:44.960> a<00:39:45.000> choice<00:39:45.680> in<00:39:45.880> that<00:39:46.080> moment,<00:39:46.560> that<00:39:46.800> second,<00:39:47.600> the<00:39:48.360> that<00:39:48.840> being<00:39:49.200> still<00:39:49.480> on<00:39:49.600> my<00:39:49.720> right<00:39:50.000> side<00:39:50.640> telepathically<00:39:51.600> said,<00:39:52.280> "I'm

00:39:52.440 --> 00:40:00.760
going<00:39:52.680> to<00:39:52.880> offer<00:39:53.160> you<00:39:53.320> the<00:39:53.440> decision."<00:39:54.320> I'm<00:39:54.480> translating<00:39:55.120> it,<00:39:55.920> but<00:39:57.000> "You<00:39:57.120> can<00:39:57.280> stay<00:39:57.520> here<00:39:57.760> with<00:39:58.000> me<00:39:58.560> or<00:39:58.760> you<00:39:58.880> can<00:39:59.040> go<00:39:59.200> back<00:39:59.480> and<00:39:59.600> help<00:39:59.800> others."

00:40:00.760 --> 00:40:08.920
And<00:40:00.880> the<00:40:01.000> weirdest<00:40:01.440> thing<00:40:01.640> is<00:40:01.840> I<00:40:01.920> know<00:40:02.520> that<00:40:02.760> it<00:40:02.840> has<00:40:03.040> a<00:40:03.120> sense<00:40:03.400> of<00:40:03.480> humor<00:40:03.840> because<00:40:04.480> there's<00:40:04.800> no<00:40:05.120> way<00:40:06.000> in<00:40:06.200> that<00:40:06.440> moment<00:40:06.920> I<00:40:06.960> would<00:40:07.080> have<00:40:07.200> chose<00:40:07.480> to<00:40:07.600> stay<00:40:07.840> there.

00:40:08.920 --> 00:40:18.120
Like<00:40:09.160> no<00:40:09.520> no<00:40:09.640> matter<00:40:09.920> how<00:40:10.120> much<00:40:10.440> love<00:40:11.400> that<00:40:11.640> you<00:40:11.800> feel<00:40:12.200> there,<00:40:12.640> you<00:40:12.840> also<00:40:13.240> feel<00:40:13.600> unconditional<00:40:14.400> love<00:40:15.040> when<00:40:15.240> I<00:40:15.320> was<00:40:15.480> shown<00:40:15.880> the<00:40:16.280> the<00:40:16.400> good<00:40:16.720> times,<00:40:17.960> I

00:40:18.120 --> 00:40:25.240
was<00:40:18.280> shown<00:40:18.560> that<00:40:18.720> the<00:40:18.840> same<00:40:19.520> unconditional<00:40:20.280> love<00:40:20.520> exists<00:40:20.960> in<00:40:21.080> us<00:40:21.240> now<00:40:21.520> and<00:40:21.640> we<00:40:21.760> can<00:40:21.960> have<00:40:22.320> that<00:40:22.560> same<00:40:22.840> love<00:40:23.080> that<00:40:23.200> I<00:40:23.280> felt<00:40:23.520> on<00:40:23.640> the<00:40:23.720> other<00:40:23.880> side<00:40:24.240> here.

00:40:25.240 --> 00:40:31.000
So,<00:40:25.440> there<00:40:25.520> were<00:40:25.600> these<00:40:25.800> moments<00:40:26.280> where<00:40:26.400> I<00:40:26.440> recognized,<00:40:27.000> well,<00:40:27.120> it's<00:40:27.280> not<00:40:27.520> just<00:40:27.800> here,<00:40:28.120> it's<00:40:28.280> also<00:40:28.600> back<00:40:29.040> here<00:40:29.400> in<00:40:29.560> this<00:40:29.800> state.

00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:37.200
And<00:40:31.160> I<00:40:31.200> thought<00:40:31.440> to<00:40:31.520> myself,<00:40:31.800> of<00:40:31.880> course<00:40:32.160> I'll<00:40:32.240> go<00:40:32.360> back.<00:40:32.760> Why<00:40:32.920> wouldn't<00:40:33.680> it<00:40:34.000> There<00:40:34.120> was<00:40:34.240> this<00:40:34.360> immediate<00:40:34.760> understanding<00:40:35.320> that<00:40:35.480> life<00:40:36.120> it<00:40:36.280> was<00:40:36.400> shown<00:40:36.640> to<00:40:36.720> me<00:40:36.840> as<00:40:37.000> these

00:40:37.200 --> 00:40:40.920
sparks.<00:40:38.600> As<00:40:38.800> soon<00:40:38.960> as<00:40:39.080> one<00:40:39.240> would<00:40:39.360> get<00:40:39.560> hot<00:40:39.760> and<00:40:39.880> red,<00:40:40.040> it<00:40:40.120> would<00:40:40.240> dissipate.

00:40:40.920 --> 00:40:47.160
And<00:40:41.160> life<00:40:41.400> here<00:40:41.640> is<00:40:41.880> instant.<00:40:42.120> Like<00:40:42.360> we<00:40:42.600> feel<00:40:42.840> it<00:40:43.080> as<00:40:43.320> 100<00:40:43.560> years,<00:40:43.800> but<00:40:44.040> it's<00:40:44.280> instant<00:40:44.520> on<00:40:44.760> that<00:40:45.000> side<00:40:45.240> to<00:40:45.480> make<00:40:45.720> a<00:40:45.960> decision.

00:40:47.160 --> 00:40:52.600
Like<00:40:47.400> would<00:40:47.600> you<00:40:47.680> make<00:40:47.920> a<00:40:47.960> decision<00:40:48.440> to<00:40:48.560> snap<00:40:48.880> your<00:40:49.000> fingers<00:40:49.440> on<00:40:49.520> the<00:40:49.640> other<00:40:49.800> side<00:40:50.120> if<00:40:50.240> it<00:40:50.360> helped,<00:40:50.960> you<00:40:51.080> know,<00:40:51.440> 1,000<00:40:51.840> people?

00:40:52.600 --> 00:40:58.520
Of<00:40:52.680> course<00:40:52.920> you<00:40:53.000> would.<00:40:53.440> Like<00:40:53.640> why<00:40:53.760> wouldn't<00:40:54.040> you?<00:40:54.760> And<00:40:55.760> when<00:40:55.960> I<00:40:56.040> made<00:40:56.320> that<00:40:56.520> decision,<00:40:57.040> everything<00:40:57.480> changed.

00:40:58.520 --> 00:41:04.440
When<00:40:58.760> I<00:40:59.440> I<00:41:00.480> uh<00:41:00.560> telepathically<00:41:01.520> agreed<00:41:02.000> to<00:41:02.080> come<00:41:02.280> back<00:41:02.520> to<00:41:02.640> help,<00:41:03.280> it<00:41:03.400> was<00:41:03.520> like,<00:41:03.680> of<00:41:03.800> course<00:41:04.160> I<00:41:04.200> would.

00:41:04.440 --> 00:41:07.000
It<00:41:05.680> It<00:41:05.800> was<00:41:05.920> just<00:41:06.120> a<00:41:06.160> strange<00:41:06.680> feeling.

00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:14.040
Like<00:41:07.320> how<00:41:07.560> could<00:41:07.760> you<00:41:07.920> ask<00:41:08.240> me<00:41:08.520> to<00:41:08.720> stay<00:41:09.240> when<00:41:09.480> you<00:41:09.600> now<00:41:09.920> know<00:41:10.320> that<00:41:10.960> I<00:41:11.120> know<00:41:12.240> my<00:41:12.480> connection<00:41:12.880> to<00:41:13.000> all<00:41:13.160> others.

00:41:14.040 --> 00:41:19.840
And<00:41:14.200> when<00:41:14.320> I<00:41:14.360> did,<00:41:14.680> everything<00:41:15.160> changed.<00:41:16.080> As<00:41:16.320> you<00:41:16.440> say<00:41:17.200> As<00:41:17.400> you<00:41:17.480> said<00:41:17.720> earlier,<00:41:18.400> you<00:41:18.480> know,<00:41:18.600> we're<00:41:18.760> all<00:41:18.920> welcomed<00:41:19.320> by<00:41:19.480> something.

00:41:19.840 --> 00:41:26.480
I<00:41:19.920> realized<00:41:20.320> a<00:41:20.360> whole<00:41:20.800> landscape<00:41:21.840> was<00:41:22.240> just<00:41:23.200> created,<00:41:24.040> manufactured<00:41:24.760> just<00:41:25.040> for<00:41:25.160> me<00:41:25.280> to<00:41:25.400> experience.

00:41:26.480 --> 00:41:30.080
Just<00:41:26.720> for<00:41:26.880> a<00:41:27.000> warm<00:41:27.360> hug.<00:41:27.960> You<00:41:28.040> know,<00:41:28.240> it<00:41:28.360> was<00:41:28.520> like<00:41:28.680> this<00:41:28.840> embrace.

00:41:30.080 --> 00:41:33.400
And<00:41:30.240> it<00:41:30.360> just<00:41:30.880> blew<00:41:31.360> disappeared.<00:41:32.240> Everything<00:41:32.720> disappeared.

00:41:33.400 --> 00:41:36.640
The<00:41:33.480> being<00:41:34.000> kind<00:41:34.200> of<00:41:34.280> changed<00:41:34.840> out<00:41:34.960> of<00:41:35.040> the<00:41:35.120> hiking<00:41:35.480> clothes.

00:41:36.640 --> 00:41:42.680
He<00:41:36.800> looked<00:41:37.000> like<00:41:37.200> more<00:41:37.360> of<00:41:37.480> a<00:41:37.560> god<00:41:38.160> type<00:41:38.400> of<00:41:38.520> being,<00:41:38.760> very<00:41:38.960> tall,<00:41:40.360> um<00:41:41.360> powerful.

00:41:42.680 --> 00:41:47.360
Uh,<00:41:43.560> and<00:41:43.760> then<00:41:44.080> we're<00:41:44.400> in,<00:41:45.520> I<00:41:45.720> will<00:41:45.880> call<00:41:46.200> it,<00:41:46.320> a<00:41:46.360> version<00:41:46.800> of<00:41:46.920> space.

00:41:47.360 --> 00:41:55.160
I<00:41:47.440> call<00:41:47.680> it<00:41:47.800> the<00:41:47.880> void.<00:41:49.000> It's<00:41:49.280> like<00:41:49.480> this<00:41:49.680> living<00:41:50.200> place<00:41:51.320> that<00:41:51.520> you<00:41:51.640> just<00:41:51.880> have<00:41:52.000> this<00:41:52.200> understanding<00:41:52.800> all<00:41:53.240> form<00:41:53.920> comes<00:41:54.240> from.

00:41:55.160 --> 00:42:01.360
It's<00:41:55.400> like<00:41:55.640> what's<00:41:55.960> behind<00:41:56.400> the<00:41:56.520> form.<00:41:57.000> It's<00:41:57.160> like<00:41:57.360> if<00:41:57.480> you're<00:41:57.760> in<00:41:57.960> a<00:41:58.760> a<00:41:58.920> factory<00:41:59.440> of<00:41:59.560> ceramics<00:42:00.280> that<00:42:00.480> makes<00:42:00.720> ceramics.

00:42:01.360 --> 00:42:08.280
It's<00:42:01.520> like<00:42:01.720> this<00:42:01.880> is<00:42:02.040> where<00:42:02.240> the<00:42:02.400> clay<00:42:02.760> starts.<00:42:04.000> And<00:42:04.240> then<00:42:04.840> it<00:42:05.040> takes<00:42:05.320> a<00:42:05.400> shape<00:42:05.680> of<00:42:05.800> a<00:42:05.880> pot<00:42:06.320> when<00:42:06.440> it<00:42:06.520> goes<00:42:06.720> through<00:42:06.880> the<00:42:06.960> machine.

00:42:08.280 --> 00:42:12.360
So,<00:42:08.600> it's<00:42:08.800> like<00:42:09.640> it's<00:42:09.840> like<00:42:10.000> space,<00:42:10.480> but<00:42:10.600> it's<00:42:10.760> not<00:42:11.000> like<00:42:11.200> space.

00:42:12.360 --> 00:42:15.160
The<00:42:12.480> darkness<00:42:13.040> is<00:42:13.960> alive.

00:42:15.160 --> 00:42:18.360
It's<00:42:15.720> um<00:42:16.480> fluid<00:42:17.200> almost.

00:42:18.360 --> 00:42:24.280
There<00:42:18.440> were<00:42:18.520> these<00:42:18.800> celestial<00:42:20.120> beings<00:42:20.760> or<00:42:20.840> stars<00:42:21.440> that<00:42:21.560> were<00:42:21.680> as<00:42:21.800> big<00:42:22.040> as<00:42:22.160> homes.

00:42:24.280 --> 00:42:26.960
Just<00:42:24.520> boom,<00:42:24.840> boom,<00:42:25.240> boom<00:42:25.640> all<00:42:25.800> around.

00:42:26.960 --> 00:42:35.600
Um,<00:42:27.840> the<00:42:28.000> interesting<00:42:28.440> thing<00:42:28.720> was<00:42:29.080> the<00:42:29.280> darkness<00:42:30.040> that<00:42:30.200> was<00:42:30.320> between<00:42:30.760> them,<00:42:30.960> which<00:42:31.120> was<00:42:31.280> like<00:42:31.880> uh<00:42:32.640> like<00:42:33.240> a<00:42:33.360> tar<00:42:33.760> pit<00:42:34.080> almost,<00:42:34.480> like<00:42:34.640> I<00:42:34.720> just<00:42:35.080> bubbling

00:42:35.600 --> 00:42:40.240
moving<00:42:37.080> darkness<00:42:37.720> was<00:42:37.960> just<00:42:38.320> as<00:42:38.480> alive<00:42:38.840> as<00:42:38.960> the<00:42:39.080> celestial<00:42:39.720> beings.

00:42:40.240 --> 00:42:43.680
It<00:42:40.320> was<00:42:40.440> like<00:42:40.600> you<00:42:40.680> could<00:42:40.880> reach<00:42:41.160> out<00:42:41.360> and<00:42:41.480> grab<00:42:42.000> it<00:42:42.720> a<00:42:42.840> handful<00:42:43.400> of<00:42:43.520> it.

00:42:43.680 --> 00:42:47.880
It<00:42:43.760> was<00:42:44.160> strange.<00:42:45.440> And<00:42:45.560> were<00:42:45.680> just<00:42:45.920> celestial<00:42:46.360> beings<00:42:46.840> that<00:42:46.960> were<00:42:47.080> like<00:42:47.400> homes.

00:42:47.880 --> 00:42:54.920
When<00:42:48.000> you<00:42:48.080> say<00:42:48.240> celestial<00:42:48.600> beings,<00:42:48.920> I<00:42:49.200> I<00:42:49.280> picture<00:42:49.640> some<00:42:49.800> kind<00:42:49.960> of<00:42:50.120> angel<00:42:50.600> or<00:42:50.760> some<00:42:51.000> kind<00:42:51.200> of<00:42:52.360> sentient<00:42:53.600> creature<00:42:54.080> of<00:42:54.240> some<00:42:54.440> kind.

00:42:54.920 --> 00:43:01.720
Very<00:42:55.400> obviously<00:42:56.120> are<00:42:56.680> size<00:42:57.480> size-wise<00:42:58.360> size-wise<00:42:59.040> They're<00:42:59.280> They're<00:42:59.440> all<00:42:59.560> They're<00:42:59.720> as<00:42:59.840> big<00:43:00.080> as<00:43:00.200> homes,<00:43:00.560> but<00:43:00.720> they<00:43:00.920> What<00:43:01.040> do<00:43:01.120> they<00:43:01.280> look<00:43:01.520> like?

00:43:01.720 --> 00:43:04.560
Can<00:43:01.880> you<00:43:01.960> describe<00:43:02.360> them?<00:43:02.760> Giant<00:43:03.200> orbs<00:43:03.520> of<00:43:03.680> light.

00:43:04.560 --> 00:43:10.880
Big<00:43:04.836> as<00:43:05.112> orb<00:43:05.388> of<00:43:05.664> light.<00:43:05.940> Okay,<00:43:06.216> so<00:43:06.492> they<00:43:06.768> were<00:43:07.044> they<00:43:07.320> were<00:43:07.596> sort<00:43:07.872> of<00:43:08.148> a<00:43:08.424> featureless,<00:43:08.700> but<00:43:08.976> luminous<00:43:09.252> and<00:43:09.528> Luminous<00:43:09.804> a<00:43:10.080> sentient.

00:43:10.880 --> 00:43:15.720
Yeah,<00:43:11.360> definitely<00:43:11.840> sentient,<00:43:13.360> massive,<00:43:14.240> and<00:43:14.520> glowing<00:43:15.040> a<00:43:15.120> color.

00:43:15.720 --> 00:43:18.920
It's<00:43:15.880> like<00:43:16.040> a<00:43:16.160> bluish-whitish,<00:43:17.640> but<00:43:17.800> it's<00:43:17.960> not<00:43:18.280> bluish-white.

00:43:18.920 --> 00:43:22.480
It's<00:43:19.080> some<00:43:19.360> other<00:43:19.640> color.<00:43:21.080> Color<00:43:21.400> was<00:43:21.560> very<00:43:21.800> strange<00:43:22.240> there.

00:43:22.480 --> 00:43:26.000
The<00:43:22.640> colors<00:43:23.600> I<00:43:23.640> experienced<00:43:24.080> colors<00:43:24.400> there<00:43:24.520> that<00:43:24.640> I<00:43:24.680> can't<00:43:24.920> describe.

00:43:26.000 --> 00:43:33.440
Their<00:43:26.680> color<00:43:27.120> is<00:43:27.400> alive.<00:43:28.240> Like<00:43:28.400> we<00:43:28.520> would<00:43:28.640> say,<00:43:29.200> well,<00:43:29.520> be<00:43:29.680> like<00:43:29.960> red<00:43:30.400> being<00:43:30.640> alive,<00:43:31.200> but<00:43:31.360> it's<00:43:32.360> really<00:43:32.640> like<00:43:32.880> more<00:43:33.120> than<00:43:33.240> that.

00:43:33.440 --> 00:43:41.080
It's<00:43:33.560> like<00:43:33.680> it's<00:43:33.920> own<00:43:35.520> essence,<00:43:36.480> and<00:43:36.680> the<00:43:36.760> color<00:43:37.240> that<00:43:37.480> this<00:43:37.720> thing<00:43:37.960> emits<00:43:38.440> is<00:43:38.600> like<00:43:38.800> the<00:43:38.920> communication<00:43:39.640> you<00:43:39.760> receive.

00:43:41.080 --> 00:43:47.200
So,<00:43:41.160> it's<00:43:41.280> like<00:43:41.520> when<00:43:41.680> you<00:43:41.840> feel<00:43:42.320> the<00:43:42.480> color,<00:43:43.080> when<00:43:43.240> you<00:43:43.360> feel<00:43:43.600> the<00:43:43.760> light,<00:43:44.440> you're<00:43:44.640> actually<00:43:45.040> feeling<00:43:45.640> the<00:43:45.720> communication<00:43:46.480> coming<00:43:46.840> from<00:43:47.080> it.

00:43:47.200 --> 00:43:49.320
It's<00:43:47.960> It's<00:43:48.160> like<00:43:48.320> nothing<00:43:48.680> I've<00:43:48.800> experienced.

00:43:49.320 --> 00:43:53.760
kind<00:43:49.560> of<00:43:49.720> a<00:43:49.800> medium<00:43:50.320> through<00:43:50.480> which<00:43:51.240> information<00:43:51.840> can<00:43:51.960> be<00:43:52.040> transmitted<00:43:52.680> or<00:43:52.760> something.

00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:58.560
And<00:43:54.040> in<00:43:54.280> this<00:43:54.520> place,<00:43:55.720> I<00:43:55.800> just<00:43:56.200> experienced<00:43:57.440> just<00:43:57.920> information.

00:43:58.560 --> 00:44:03.800
Went<00:43:58.680> on<00:43:58.800> forever.<00:43:59.200> It<00:43:59.320> was<00:43:59.480> started<00:43:59.840> with<00:44:00.000> truth.<00:44:00.400> I<00:44:00.440> remember<00:44:00.760> the<00:44:00.880> first<00:44:01.160> thing<00:44:01.400> being<00:44:01.600> shown<00:44:01.920> was<00:44:02.120> truth,<00:44:02.480> and<00:44:02.560> it<00:44:02.680> was<00:44:02.880> a<00:44:03.000> perfect<00:44:03.400> circle.

00:44:03.800 --> 00:44:12.280
Just<00:44:04.040> appeared.<00:44:04.520> Just<00:44:04.720> a<00:44:04.800> perfect<00:44:05.200> circle.<00:44:06.480> And<00:44:06.640> it<00:44:06.800> was<00:44:07.360> a<00:44:07.440> description<00:44:08.240> of<00:44:08.680> how<00:44:09.040> we<00:44:09.240> live<00:44:09.480> in<00:44:09.600> partial<00:44:09.960> truth<00:44:10.760> and<00:44:10.960> it<00:44:11.040> was<00:44:11.160> showing<00:44:11.400> me<00:44:11.520> full<00:44:11.760> truth<00:44:12.080> which

00:44:12.280 --> 00:44:17.800
means<00:44:12.600> every<00:44:12.920> possibility<00:44:13.800> all<00:44:14.080> at<00:44:14.200> once<00:44:14.600> exists<00:44:15.320> on<00:44:15.560> that<00:44:15.800> circle<00:44:16.280> at<00:44:16.480> all<00:44:16.640> times.

00:44:17.800 --> 00:44:25.640
All<00:44:17.960> versions<00:44:18.360> of<00:44:18.480> you<00:44:18.640> which<00:44:18.800> means<00:44:19.000> it's<00:44:19.200> infinite.<00:44:20.480> And<00:44:20.560> it<00:44:20.680> also<00:44:20.960> means<00:44:21.280> all<00:44:21.600> because<00:44:21.920> it's<00:44:22.040> all<00:44:22.200> possibilities<00:44:23.040> it<00:44:23.160> means<00:44:23.480> all<00:44:24.080> good<00:44:24.400> and<00:44:24.520> all<00:44:24.640> bad.

00:44:25.640 --> 00:44:32.720
Right?<00:44:26.320> It's<00:44:26.440> interesting<00:44:26.800> that<00:44:26.960> this<00:44:27.160> started<00:44:27.640> just<00:44:27.920> after<00:44:28.240> you<00:44:28.520> agreed<00:44:29.000> to<00:44:29.120> come<00:44:29.360> back<00:44:29.920> because<00:44:30.360> it<00:44:30.440> was<00:44:30.600> like,<00:44:30.800> "Okay,<00:44:31.200> he's<00:44:31.440> going<00:44:31.600> to<00:44:31.680> he's<00:44:32.040> agreed<00:44:32.280> to<00:44:32.360> come<00:44:32.480> back.

00:44:32.720 --> 00:44:35.320
Let's<00:44:32.880> give<00:44:33.000> him<00:44:33.080> the<00:44:33.200> download."<00:44:33.760> Yeah.<00:44:34.160> And<00:44:34.240> then<00:44:34.400> all<00:44:34.480> this<00:44:34.680> started.

00:44:35.320 --> 00:44:43.720
I<00:44:36.600> It's<00:44:36.880> very<00:44:37.120> strange<00:44:37.560> to<00:44:37.680> me<00:44:37.840> because<00:44:38.200> I<00:44:38.360> when<00:44:38.560> I<00:44:38.640> play<00:44:38.960> it<00:44:39.080> back<00:44:39.440> in<00:44:39.560> my<00:44:39.720> head<00:44:40.040> like<00:44:40.240> chronologically<00:44:41.400> it's<00:44:41.640> kind<00:44:41.840> of<00:44:41.920> like<00:44:42.200> it's<00:44:42.520> very<00:44:42.720> strange.

00:44:43.720 --> 00:44:49.320
The<00:44:43.840> other<00:44:44.000> thing<00:44:44.200> that<00:44:44.320> I<00:44:44.360> found<00:44:44.640> very<00:44:44.840> strange<00:44:45.240> was<00:44:45.520> they<00:44:45.680> could<00:44:45.800> have<00:44:45.920> snapped<00:44:46.360> their<00:44:46.480> fingers<00:44:46.920> and<00:44:47.000> I<00:44:47.040> could<00:44:47.160> have<00:44:47.240> just<00:44:47.480> had<00:44:47.760> it.

00:44:49.320 --> 00:44:54.240
Yeah,<00:44:49.440> but<00:44:49.560> maybe<00:44:49.800> it<00:44:49.920> takes<00:44:50.120> a<00:44:50.200> while<00:44:50.520> to<00:44:50.640> kind<00:44:50.920> of<00:44:51.200> download<00:44:51.640> just<00:44:51.800> like<00:44:52.000> you<00:44:52.080> download<00:44:52.520> a<00:44:52.600> file<00:44:53.040> off<00:44:53.240> the<00:44:53.400> internet<00:44:53.800> or<00:44:53.880> something.

00:44:54.240 --> 00:44:57.120
If<00:44:54.560> it's<00:44:55.040> 10<00:44:55.240> megabytes<00:44:55.760> it<00:44:55.880> might<00:44:56.080> take<00:44:56.280> a<00:44:56.320> little<00:44:56.480> while.

00:44:57.120 --> 00:45:05.360
I<00:44:57.200> know<00:44:57.400> there<00:44:57.560> were<00:44:57.680> things<00:44:58.440> when<00:44:58.600> I<00:44:58.680> started<00:44:59.000> giving<00:44:59.320> talks<00:45:00.080> there<00:45:00.320> were<00:45:01.280> there<00:45:01.440> were<00:45:01.600> connections<00:45:02.200> that<00:45:02.360> I<00:45:02.440> made<00:45:03.040> realizing<00:45:03.560> that<00:45:03.720> the<00:45:03.880> way<00:45:04.280> it<00:45:04.440> was<00:45:04.640> shown<00:45:05.040> to<00:45:05.160> me

00:45:05.360 --> 00:45:08.480
on<00:45:05.480> the<00:45:05.600> other<00:45:05.800> side<00:45:06.400> was<00:45:06.640> the<00:45:06.760> way<00:45:07.200> I<00:45:07.320> could<00:45:07.520> present<00:45:07.960> it<00:45:08.040> to<00:45:08.160> others.

00:45:08.480 --> 00:45:16.320
I<00:45:08.520> used<00:45:08.680> to<00:45:08.760> use<00:45:08.880> a<00:45:08.960> whiteboard.<00:45:10.280> And<00:45:10.360> I<00:45:10.400> used<00:45:10.560> to<00:45:10.640> draw<00:45:10.960> the<00:45:11.080> shapes<00:45:11.520> and<00:45:11.600> I<00:45:11.640> used<00:45:11.800> to<00:45:11.880> draw<00:45:12.120> the<00:45:12.240> things<00:45:12.480> that<00:45:12.600> I<00:45:12.640> experienced<00:45:14.040> and<00:45:14.200> I<00:45:14.280> found<00:45:14.640> myself<00:45:15.320> creating<00:45:15.880> the<00:45:16.000> same

00:45:16.320 --> 00:45:23.440
things<00:45:17.200> from<00:45:17.600> there<00:45:18.160> and<00:45:18.360> realizing,<00:45:18.800> "Okay,<00:45:19.040> that's<00:45:19.280> why<00:45:19.400> you<00:45:19.560> showed<00:45:19.920> it<00:45:20.040> to<00:45:20.120> me<00:45:20.240> that<00:45:20.440> way<00:45:20.640> so<00:45:20.960> I<00:45:21.080> can<00:45:21.280> show<00:45:21.520> it<00:45:21.720> this<00:45:21.960> way<00:45:22.120> to<00:45:22.320> others."

00:45:23.440 --> 00:45:26.360
Yeah,<00:45:23.680> that's<00:45:23.840> interesting.<00:45:24.840> It<00:45:25.000> was<00:45:25.200> just<00:45:25.880> props.

00:45:26.360 --> 00:45:35.640
The<00:45:26.480> props<00:45:26.960> would<00:45:27.080> appear<00:45:28.320> like<00:45:28.560> voids<00:45:29.320> and<00:45:30.320> screens<00:45:31.000> and<00:45:31.120> things<00:45:31.320> that<00:45:31.440> look<00:45:31.600> like<00:45:32.640> openings<00:45:33.360> to<00:45:33.480> infinity<00:45:34.240> and<00:45:35.120> golden

00:45:35.640 --> 00:45:42.840
letters<00:45:36.160> and<00:45:36.280> things<00:45:36.520> would<00:45:36.640> shoot<00:45:37.000> and<00:45:37.160> it<00:45:37.680> was<00:45:37.840> all<00:45:37.920> about<00:45:38.160> perception<00:45:38.760> and<00:45:38.920> time<00:45:39.480> and<00:45:39.640> love<00:45:40.240> and<00:45:41.240> it<00:45:41.320> just<00:45:41.520> went<00:45:41.640> on<00:45:41.800> forever.

00:45:42.840 --> 00:45:48.640
Like<00:45:43.000> it<00:45:43.080> was<00:45:43.880> it's<00:45:44.280> interesting<00:45:44.960> like<00:45:45.200> I<00:45:45.280> come<00:45:45.520> back<00:45:45.920> with<00:45:46.120> it<00:45:46.280> and<00:45:46.400> I<00:45:46.480> have<00:45:46.760> it<00:45:46.880> all<00:45:47.040> and<00:45:47.160> I<00:45:47.240> just<00:45:47.440> call<00:45:47.600> myself<00:45:47.960> a<00:45:48.000> search<00:45:48.360> engine.

00:45:48.640 --> 00:45:53.000
Like<00:45:48.800> you<00:45:48.920> ask<00:45:49.160> a<00:45:49.200> particular<00:45:49.640> question<00:45:50.040> I<00:45:50.080> know<00:45:50.240> the<00:45:50.400> answer<00:45:50.680> is<00:45:50.840> in<00:45:51.080> there<00:45:51.400> but<00:45:51.560> it's<00:45:51.680> not<00:45:52.040> it's<00:45:52.200> not<00:45:52.440> here.

00:45:53.000 --> 00:45:56.926
I<00:45:53.080> don't<00:45:53.280> have<00:45:53.440> to<00:45:53.560> think<00:45:53.880> about<00:45:54.160> the<00:45:54.280> answer.<00:45:54.600> It's<00:45:54.760> just<00:45:55.040> it's<00:45:55.200> like<00:45:55.360> comes<00:45:55.640> from<00:45:55.840> here.

00:45:56.926 --> 00:46:03.960
[sighs<00:45:57.212> and<00:45:57.499> gasps]<00:45:57.785> And<00:45:58.072> And<00:45:58.358> you<00:45:58.645> probably<00:45:58.931> start<00:45:59.217> answering<00:45:59.504> questions<00:45:59.790> before<00:46:00.077> you<00:46:00.363> even<00:46:00.649> know<00:46:00.936> what<00:46:01.222> you're<00:46:01.509> going<00:46:01.795> to<00:46:02.082> say<00:46:02.368> and<00:46:02.654> and<00:46:02.941> it<00:46:03.227> comes<00:46:03.514> out<00:46:03.800> as

00:46:03.960 --> 00:46:07.440
you're<00:46:04.080> saying<00:46:04.480> it,<00:46:04.640> right?<00:46:06.120> It<00:46:06.280> comes<00:46:06.600> up<00:46:06.760> before<00:46:07.120> I<00:46:07.200> know.

00:46:07.440 --> 00:46:12.920
In<00:46:07.640> fact,<00:46:07.960> it<00:46:08.200> happens<00:46:09.240> very<00:46:09.600> often<00:46:10.120> when<00:46:10.280> I<00:46:10.360> give<00:46:11.160> um<00:46:11.680> interviews.

00:46:12.920 --> 00:46:21.200
I<00:46:13.560> I<00:46:13.680> have<00:46:13.920> to<00:46:14.000> go<00:46:14.160> back<00:46:15.440> I<00:46:15.520> have<00:46:15.680> to<00:46:15.760> go<00:46:15.920> back<00:46:16.360> cuz<00:46:16.640> I<00:46:16.880> often<00:46:17.200> times<00:46:17.520> or<00:46:17.760> even<00:46:18.040> talks<00:46:18.840> I<00:46:19.320> people<00:46:19.640> ask<00:46:19.880> me,<00:46:20.240> "Oh,<00:46:20.400> there<00:46:20.600> was<00:46:20.840> that<00:46:21.040> one

00:46:21.200 --> 00:46:26.400
thing<00:46:21.440> you<00:46:21.560> said<00:46:21.840> in<00:46:21.920> that<00:46:22.160> last<00:46:22.520> talk."<00:46:22.840> And<00:46:22.920> I'm<00:46:23.040> like,<00:46:23.880> um<00:46:24.480> I<00:46:24.560> got<00:46:24.680> to<00:46:24.760> go<00:46:24.880> back<00:46:25.160> and<00:46:25.320> look.

00:46:26.400 --> 00:46:31.880
I<00:46:26.520> started<00:46:27.160> I<00:46:27.240> started<00:46:27.680> recording<00:46:28.200> them<00:46:28.440> just<00:46:28.720> because<00:46:29.120> of<00:46:29.240> that<00:46:29.560> and<00:46:29.720> they're<00:46:29.840> like,<00:46:30.320> uh<00:46:30.680> they're<00:46:30.800> not<00:46:31.000> my<00:46:31.200> words.

00:46:31.880 --> 00:46:41.960
Um<00:46:32.880> Interesting.<00:46:33.280> Yeah,<00:46:34.280> it's<00:46:35.120> um<00:46:35.760> it<00:46:36.080> stopped<00:46:37.280> when<00:46:37.840> in<00:46:38.040> this<00:46:38.320> void<00:46:38.960> there<00:46:39.160> was<00:46:39.440> this<00:46:39.720> one<00:46:40.960> celestial

00:46:41.960 --> 00:46:46.920
light<00:46:42.760> or<00:46:42.880> sun<00:46:43.840> that<00:46:44.000> was<00:46:44.200> different<00:46:44.680> from<00:46:45.240> all<00:46:45.560> the<00:46:45.720> other<00:46:45.920> beings.

00:46:46.920 --> 00:46:53.880
And<00:46:47.040> it<00:46:47.120> was<00:46:47.280> like<00:46:47.600> they<00:46:47.880> dropped<00:46:48.360> back<00:46:48.720> in<00:46:48.800> a<00:46:48.840> way<00:46:49.160> and<00:46:49.400> this<00:46:49.640> light<00:46:50.200> just<00:46:50.680> grew<00:46:51.200> and<00:46:51.440> grew<00:46:51.920> and<00:46:52.080> grew<00:46:52.520> and<00:46:52.680> grew<00:46:53.000> and<00:46:53.080> it<00:46:53.160> was<00:46:53.240> just<00:46:53.400> getting<00:46:53.640> bigger.

00:46:53.880 --> 00:47:01.240
It<00:46:53.920> was<00:46:54.160> swallowing<00:46:54.920> everything.<00:46:56.360> Swallowed<00:46:56.920> all<00:46:57.040> the<00:46:57.120> blackness,<00:46:57.760> swallowed<00:46:58.200> all<00:46:58.320> the<00:46:58.400> beings<00:46:58.760> that<00:46:58.880> were<00:46:59.000> left<00:46:59.320> there,<00:46:59.560> it<00:46:59.680> swallowed<00:47:00.240> the<00:47:00.320> being<00:47:00.680> who<00:47:00.800> was<00:47:01.000> with

00:47:01.240 --> 00:47:05.120
me.<00:47:02.440> And<00:47:02.560> then<00:47:02.840> it<00:47:02.960> swallowed<00:47:03.440> me<00:47:03.680> and<00:47:03.800> there<00:47:03.880> was<00:47:04.040> nothing<00:47:04.520> but<00:47:04.680> this<00:47:04.880> light.

00:47:05.120 --> 00:47:13.320
There's<00:47:05.320> nothing<00:47:05.640> front,<00:47:06.000> back,<00:47:06.400> nothing<00:47:06.760> but<00:47:06.960> this<00:47:07.200> light<00:47:07.760> and<00:47:07.920> it's<00:47:08.120> a<00:47:08.600> golden<00:47:09.760> whitish<00:47:10.360> yellow<00:47:10.880> light<00:47:11.240> that<00:47:11.480> isn't<00:47:11.840> golden<00:47:12.280> whitish<00:47:12.640> yellow,<00:47:12.960> but<00:47:13.120> those

00:47:13.320 --> 00:47:19.280
are<00:47:13.400> the<00:47:13.520> closest<00:47:13.960> things<00:47:14.200> I<00:47:14.280> can<00:47:14.440> use<00:47:14.640> to<00:47:14.720> describe<00:47:15.200> it<00:47:15.480> and<00:47:15.760> in<00:47:15.960> it<00:47:16.880> you<00:47:17.160> feel<00:47:18.160> everything.

00:47:19.280 --> 00:47:25.240
And<00:47:19.440> when<00:47:19.680> I<00:47:19.800> say<00:47:20.160> everything<00:47:21.480> I<00:47:21.600> mean<00:47:21.920> you<00:47:22.080> can<00:47:22.280> feel<00:47:22.800> every<00:47:23.160> hair<00:47:23.640> on<00:47:23.800> everybody's<00:47:24.400> head.

00:47:25.240 --> 00:47:32.120
You<00:47:25.480> can<00:47:25.680> feel<00:47:26.120> every<00:47:26.880> blade<00:47:27.360> of<00:47:27.520> grass,<00:47:28.120> every<00:47:28.560> bird,<00:47:29.240> every<00:47:29.800> molecule<00:47:30.960> of<00:47:31.240> anything<00:47:31.760> here.

00:47:32.120 --> 00:47:35.280
You<00:47:32.720> feel<00:47:33.800> all.

00:47:35.280 --> 00:47:40.680
And<00:47:35.440> you<00:47:35.640> realize<00:47:36.440> that<00:47:36.640> when<00:47:36.840> you<00:47:37.040> feel<00:47:37.440> it<00:47:38.360> it's<00:47:38.720> all<00:47:39.040> for<00:47:39.280> you.

00:47:40.680 --> 00:47:47.760
All<00:47:40.920> of<00:47:41.080> it.<00:47:42.000> Everything<00:47:42.680> that's<00:47:42.880> been<00:47:43.040> created<00:47:43.880> is<00:47:44.240> just<00:47:44.880> for<00:47:45.120> you<00:47:45.880> and<00:47:46.080> your<00:47:46.240> experience.

00:47:47.760 --> 00:47:52.920
And<00:47:48.360> it's<00:47:48.560> an<00:47:48.720> unconditional<00:47:49.480> love<00:47:49.760> that<00:47:49.880> even

00:47:52.920 --> 00:48:00.000
I<00:47:53.040> can't<00:47:53.400> quite<00:47:53.800> describe<00:47:54.440> because<00:47:54.800> when<00:47:55.000> you<00:47:55.120> look<00:47:55.360> at<00:47:55.480> the<00:47:55.600> world<00:47:56.080> and<00:47:56.160> you<00:47:56.240> look<00:47:56.440> at,<00:47:56.600> "Wow,<00:47:56.840> there<00:47:57.000> must<00:47:57.240> be<00:47:57.360> a<00:47:57.480> billion<00:47:57.960> leaves<00:47:58.440> on<00:47:58.560> that<00:47:58.760> tree<00:47:59.080> out<00:47:59.280> there<00:47:59.520> to<00:47:59.720> know

00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:04.640
that<00:48:00.200> every<00:48:00.480> leaf<00:48:01.000> on<00:48:01.240> there<00:48:01.400> is<00:48:01.600> for<00:48:01.760> you<00:48:02.040> to<00:48:02.240> look<00:48:02.480> at<00:48:02.800> as<00:48:02.960> part<00:48:03.200> of<00:48:03.280> your<00:48:03.440> experience.

00:48:04.640 --> 00:48:09.280
You<00:48:04.760> will<00:48:04.880> know<00:48:05.120> that<00:48:05.320> that<00:48:05.520> tree<00:48:06.480> is<00:48:06.720> made<00:48:07.000> out<00:48:07.120> of<00:48:07.280> love<00:48:07.560> just<00:48:07.800> for<00:48:07.920> you.

00:48:09.280 --> 00:48:14.720
Every<00:48:09.560> car<00:48:09.840> going<00:48:10.120> by.<00:48:10.320> You<00:48:10.560> You<00:48:10.760> look<00:48:10.960> at<00:48:11.080> cars<00:48:11.520> all<00:48:11.680> day<00:48:11.880> and<00:48:12.000> you<00:48:12.120> like,<00:48:12.600> you<00:48:12.680> know,<00:48:12.800> it's<00:48:12.920> just<00:48:13.080> a<00:48:13.120> car.

00:48:14.720 --> 00:48:23.080
But<00:48:14.880> when<00:48:15.040> you<00:48:15.160> realize<00:48:15.720> that<00:48:16.000> you<00:48:16.640> viewing<00:48:17.360> the<00:48:17.480> car<00:48:18.040> as<00:48:18.240> part<00:48:18.480> of<00:48:18.600> your<00:48:18.760> experience<00:48:19.440> is<00:48:19.600> the<00:48:19.720> reason<00:48:20.080> the<00:48:20.200> car<00:48:20.480> exists,<00:48:21.960> then<00:48:22.320> you<00:48:22.400> start<00:48:22.680> to<00:48:22.760> plug

00:48:23.080 --> 00:48:28.233
into<00:48:23.320> something<00:48:23.720> greater.<00:48:24.800> Everything<00:48:25.360> here<00:48:25.640> exists<00:48:26.080> for<00:48:26.320> our<00:48:26.520> experience.

00:48:28.233 --> 00:48:33.520
[snorts]<00:48:28.240> Well,<00:48:28.400> could<00:48:28.560> the<00:48:28.640> person<00:48:29.000> in<00:48:29.080> the<00:48:29.200> car<00:48:29.520> say,<00:48:29.760> "Okay,<00:48:30.040> that<00:48:30.240> guy<00:48:30.520> on<00:48:30.640> the<00:48:30.720> sidewalk<00:48:31.160> who's<00:48:31.360> looking<00:48:31.600> at<00:48:31.760> me,<00:48:31.920> he<00:48:32.040> exists<00:48:32.680> for<00:48:32.800> me."

00:48:33.520 --> 00:48:35.960
Correct.<00:48:33.800> And<00:48:33.840> the<00:48:33.920> reason<00:48:34.240> he<00:48:34.360> exists<00:48:34.880> is<00:48:35.200> is<00:48:35.400> for<00:48:35.560> me.

00:48:35.960 --> 00:48:39.720
So,<00:48:36.080> in<00:48:36.120> other<00:48:36.280> words,<00:48:36.640> this<00:48:37.040> what<00:48:37.200> you're<00:48:37.320> saying<00:48:37.560> here<00:48:37.720> could<00:48:37.880> be<00:48:37.960> applied<00:48:38.320> to<00:48:38.440> all<00:48:38.640> 8<00:48:38.840> billion<00:48:39.200> of<00:48:39.320> us.

00:48:39.720 --> 00:48:42.880
Yeah.<00:48:40.400> It<00:48:40.480> was<00:48:40.600> shown<00:48:40.800> to<00:48:40.920> me<00:48:41.000> as<00:48:41.120> a<00:48:41.200> giant<00:48:41.600> sand<00:48:41.880> castle.

00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:47.280
It<00:48:42.920> was<00:48:43.040> one<00:48:43.200> of<00:48:43.280> the<00:48:43.360> things<00:48:43.640> that<00:48:43.760> showed<00:48:43.960> up.<00:48:44.120> It<00:48:44.200> was<00:48:44.320> a<00:48:44.360> sand<00:48:44.640> castle<00:48:44.960> like<00:48:45.160> a<00:48:45.200> 100<00:48:45.840> miles<00:48:46.240> high.

00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:51.720
And<00:48:47.680> I<00:48:47.800> was<00:48:47.960> being<00:48:48.160> shown<00:48:48.480> the<00:48:48.560> bottom,<00:48:49.520> like<00:48:49.720> kind<00:48:49.920> of<00:48:50.000> where<00:48:50.160> the<00:48:50.240> sand<00:48:50.480> castle<00:48:50.840> rests<00:48:51.080> on<00:48:51.200> the<00:48:51.280> beach.

00:48:51.720 --> 00:48:56.600
So,<00:48:51.880> you're<00:48:51.960> looking<00:48:52.320> at<00:48:52.400> this<00:48:52.640> massive<00:48:53.200> thing.<00:48:54.040> And<00:48:54.160> I<00:48:54.240> was<00:48:54.360> shown<00:48:54.520> that<00:48:54.680> each<00:48:54.880> one<00:48:55.000> of<00:48:55.120> us<00:48:55.280> is<00:48:55.400> a<00:48:55.480> grain<00:48:55.720> of<00:48:55.840> sand.

00:48:56.600 --> 00:49:03.800
We're<00:48:56.760> just<00:48:56.960> a<00:48:57.000> grain<00:48:57.320> of<00:48:57.400> sand<00:48:57.680> in<00:48:57.760> the<00:48:57.840> castle.<00:48:58.720> But<00:48:58.920> if<00:48:59.160> one<00:48:59.560> grain<00:49:00.520> was<00:49:00.760> removed,<00:49:01.880> the<00:49:01.960> whole<00:49:02.160> thing<00:49:02.360> falls.

00:49:03.800 --> 00:49:07.840
That's<00:49:04.040> how<00:49:04.200> important<00:49:04.720> everybody's<00:49:05.200> life<00:49:05.480> here<00:49:05.760> is<00:49:06.080> to<00:49:06.280> each<00:49:06.480> other.

00:49:07.840 --> 00:49:10.760
Yeah.<00:49:08.560> No<00:49:08.680> man<00:49:08.920> is<00:49:09.080> an<00:49:09.200> island<00:49:09.640> apart<00:49:10.000> from<00:49:10.200> the<00:49:10.280> main.

00:49:10.760 --> 00:49:13.680
Ask<00:49:11.000> not<00:49:11.240> for<00:49:11.360> whom<00:49:11.560> the<00:49:11.640> bell<00:49:11.920> tolls,<00:49:12.280> it<00:49:12.400> tolls<00:49:12.720> for<00:49:12.880> thee.

00:49:13.680 --> 00:49:16.040
There<00:49:13.880> you<00:49:14.000> go,<00:49:14.280> yeah.<00:49:14.920> John<00:49:15.200> Donne,<00:49:15.520> yeah.

00:49:16.040 --> 00:49:20.760
But<00:49:16.280> it's<00:49:16.480> interesting<00:49:17.040> like<00:49:17.240> you<00:49:17.360> remove<00:49:17.680> the<00:49:17.800> grain<00:49:18.080> from<00:49:18.320> the<00:49:18.400> bottom<00:49:19.040> and<00:49:19.200> the<00:49:19.320> top<00:49:19.600> is<00:49:19.720> affected.

00:49:20.760 --> 00:49:23.800
And<00:49:20.920> you<00:49:21.000> would<00:49:21.160> say,<00:49:21.320> "Well,<00:49:21.480> the<00:49:21.720> the<00:49:21.840> top<00:49:22.120> of<00:49:22.200> the<00:49:22.240> sand<00:49:22.480> castle<00:49:22.800> doesn't<00:49:23.160> know<00:49:23.280> the<00:49:23.400> bottom."

00:49:23.800 --> 00:49:29.440
And<00:49:23.920> I<00:49:24.000> will<00:49:24.160> argue<00:49:24.880> I<00:49:24.960> you<00:49:25.160> absolutely<00:49:25.800> do<00:49:26.040> because<00:49:26.400> you're<00:49:27.080> together<00:49:27.560> you<00:49:27.720> are<00:49:27.920> the<00:49:28.040> sand<00:49:28.280> castle.

00:49:29.440 --> 00:49:37.400
So,<00:49:30.000> we<00:49:30.200> have<00:49:30.480> this<00:49:30.680> sense<00:49:30.920> of<00:49:31.040> individuality,<00:49:33.240> the<00:49:33.600> ego<00:49:33.960> which<00:49:34.120> allows<00:49:34.440> us<00:49:34.560> to<00:49:34.640> believe,<00:49:34.920> "Oh,<00:49:35.040> this<00:49:35.240> is<00:49:35.360> my<00:49:35.560> life<00:49:35.840> and<00:49:35.960> this<00:49:36.080> is<00:49:36.240> the<00:49:36.320> way<00:49:36.480> I'm<00:49:36.640> doing<00:49:36.920> it<00:49:37.040> and<00:49:37.120> this<00:49:37.240> is

00:49:37.400 --> 00:49:41.840
me."<00:49:38.480> But<00:49:38.640> then<00:49:38.960> in<00:49:39.120> that<00:49:39.360> place<00:49:39.760> you<00:49:39.880> understand,<00:49:40.440> well,<00:49:40.800> yes<00:49:41.120> and<00:49:41.240> no.

00:49:41.840 --> 00:49:49.160
You're<00:49:42.000> experiencing<00:49:42.840> it<00:49:43.080> through<00:49:44.240> an<00:49:44.480> individual<00:49:45.200> experience,<00:49:45.920> but<00:49:46.640> for<00:49:47.000> the<00:49:47.160> connection<00:49:47.640> of<00:49:47.800> all<00:49:48.000> others.

00:49:49.160 --> 00:49:54.800
Your<00:49:49.280> experience<00:49:49.880> your<00:49:50.120> existence<00:49:50.880> is<00:49:51.000> shown<00:49:51.280> to<00:49:51.400> me<00:49:51.520> like<00:49:52.600> everybody<00:49:52.960> asked<00:49:53.240> me,<00:49:53.920> "What's<00:49:54.160> my<00:49:54.320> purpose?"

00:49:54.800 --> 00:49:58.280
And<00:49:54.920> I<00:49:55.000> laugh<00:49:55.360> and<00:49:55.440> like,<00:49:55.600> "Take<00:49:55.760> your<00:49:55.880> next<00:49:56.120> breath,<00:49:57.280> please.

00:49:58.280 --> 00:50:06.440
Like<00:49:58.560> it<00:49:58.720> is<00:49:59.120> start<00:49:59.440> there."<00:50:00.400> And<00:50:00.560> it<00:50:00.760> it's<00:50:00.960> like<00:50:01.240> we're<00:50:01.520> so<00:50:01.960> important<00:50:02.640> to<00:50:02.760> each<00:50:02.960> other's<00:50:03.240> experience<00:50:03.920> here<00:50:04.160> because<00:50:04.560> it<00:50:04.720> is<00:50:04.880> the<00:50:05.000> very<00:50:05.360> thing<00:50:05.640> that<00:50:05.800> allows<00:50:06.160> us<00:50:06.320> to

00:50:06.440 --> 00:50:13.880
remember<00:50:06.880> more.<00:50:07.840> Cuz<00:50:08.000> without<00:50:08.320> each<00:50:08.440> other<00:50:08.640> we<00:50:08.760> couldn't<00:50:09.120> we<00:50:09.240> couldn't<00:50:09.560> have<00:50:10.680> you<00:50:10.800> know,<00:50:10.920> the<00:50:11.040> neighbor<00:50:11.400> who<00:50:11.560> hates<00:50:11.840> my<00:50:12.000> guts,<00:50:12.400> which<00:50:12.600> is<00:50:12.720> the<00:50:12.880> opportunity<00:50:13.480> for<00:50:13.640> me

00:50:13.880 --> 00:50:18.240
to<00:50:14.040> love<00:50:14.400> them,<00:50:14.880> right?<00:50:15.120> We<00:50:15.240> wouldn't<00:50:15.560> have<00:50:15.960> the<00:50:16.040> back<00:50:16.320> and<00:50:16.440> forth,<00:50:16.720> the<00:50:16.800> contrast.

00:50:18.240 --> 00:50:24.080
So,<00:50:18.600> um<00:50:19.480> yeah,<00:50:19.760> in<00:50:19.960> that<00:50:20.160> place<00:50:21.160> in<00:50:21.360> that<00:50:21.760> I<00:50:21.840> call<00:50:22.040> it<00:50:22.120> the<00:50:22.200> embrace<00:50:22.560> of<00:50:22.680> God<00:50:23.120> in<00:50:23.280> that<00:50:23.520> light.

00:50:24.080 --> 00:50:30.880
It's<00:50:24.280> just<00:50:25.240> I<00:50:25.320> can't<00:50:25.640> explain<00:50:26.080> it<00:50:26.240> well<00:50:26.400> enough<00:50:26.720> and<00:50:26.880> anything<00:50:27.320> I<00:50:27.440> do<00:50:28.200> it<00:50:28.400> is<00:50:29.080> not<00:50:29.320> even<00:50:29.480> close.

00:50:30.880 --> 00:50:36.720
Is<00:50:30.960> that<00:50:31.120> why<00:50:31.240> we<00:50:31.360> come<00:50:31.560> to<00:50:31.680> Earth?<00:50:32.000> Somebody<00:50:32.320> sent<00:50:32.560> in<00:50:32.680> a<00:50:32.720> question<00:50:33.160> of<00:50:33.240> like,<00:50:33.480> why<00:50:33.640> do<00:50:33.720> we<00:50:33.840> have<00:50:34.000> to<00:50:34.080> come<00:50:34.240> down<00:50:34.480> here<00:50:34.640> and<00:50:34.720> experience<00:50:35.240> all<00:50:35.400> this<00:50:35.640> junk,<00:50:36.160> you<00:50:36.240> know,<00:50:36.520> when

00:50:36.720 --> 00:50:45.000
there's<00:50:36.920> this<00:50:37.200> lovely<00:50:37.760> realm<00:50:38.200> that<00:50:38.400> you<00:50:39.120> you<00:50:39.200> know,<00:50:39.680> but<00:50:40.160> maybe<00:50:40.480> what<00:50:40.640> you're<00:50:40.800> saying<00:50:41.200> is<00:50:43.080> we<00:50:43.240> can<00:50:43.400> learn<00:50:43.800> lessons<00:50:44.280> or<00:50:44.360> something<00:50:44.800> or

00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:53.200
there's<00:50:45.320> there's<00:50:45.560> value<00:50:45.960> to<00:50:46.080> be<00:50:46.200> found<00:50:46.680> in<00:50:46.920> this<00:50:47.280> concrete<00:50:48.120> difficult<00:50:49.400> dimension<00:50:50.000> of<00:50:50.120> life<00:50:50.760> that<00:50:50.960> you're<00:50:51.080> just<00:50:51.240> not<00:50:51.360> going<00:50:51.480> to<00:50:51.560> get<00:50:51.880> if<00:50:52.080> you<00:50:52.240> just<00:50:52.480> hang<00:50:52.760> out<00:50:53.000> in

00:50:53.200 --> 00:50:57.320
the<00:50:53.720> in<00:50:53.880> the<00:50:53.960> heavenly<00:50:54.360> realms.<00:50:55.120> It<00:50:55.320> was<00:50:55.520> shown<00:50:55.880> to<00:50:56.040> me<00:50:56.240> as<00:50:56.440> a<00:50:56.520> gift.

00:50:57.320 --> 00:51:03.000
I<00:50:57.480> this<00:50:57.760> is<00:50:57.920> going<00:50:58.080> to<00:50:58.160> sound<00:50:58.840> crazy<00:50:59.360> to<00:51:00.040> half<00:51:00.360> the<00:51:00.480> people<00:51:00.840> listening.

00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:07.560
That<00:51:03.200> life<00:51:03.520> is<00:51:03.640> a<00:51:03.720> gift<00:51:04.760> because<00:51:05.720> I<00:51:05.880> sometimes<00:51:06.280> explain<00:51:06.680> it<00:51:06.760> as<00:51:06.920> ice<00:51:07.080> cream.

00:51:07.560 --> 00:51:12.480
You're<00:51:07.800> you<00:51:07.880> know,<00:51:08.000> you're<00:51:08.160> like<00:51:08.360> a<00:51:08.400> 3-year-old<00:51:08.960> you<00:51:09.040> have<00:51:09.200> ice<00:51:09.320> cream<00:51:09.520> for<00:51:09.640> the<00:51:09.720> first<00:51:10.000> time<00:51:10.280> and<00:51:10.360> you're<00:51:10.440> like,<00:51:10.600> "Oh<00:51:10.680> my<00:51:10.880> god,<00:51:11.280> I<00:51:11.320> didn't<00:51:11.520> know<00:51:11.680> ice<00:51:11.840> cream<00:51:12.040> exists."

00:51:12.480 --> 00:51:14.840
And<00:51:12.600> you're<00:51:12.680> just<00:51:12.880> amazed<00:51:13.240> by<00:51:13.400> it<00:51:13.480> and<00:51:13.560> every<00:51:13.760> day<00:51:13.960> you<00:51:14.080> want<00:51:14.320> ice<00:51:14.440> cream.

00:51:14.840 --> 00:51:18.640
But<00:51:14.960> if<00:51:15.080> you<00:51:15.240> eat<00:51:15.400> it<00:51:15.520> every<00:51:15.720> day,<00:51:16.920> you<00:51:17.000> get<00:51:17.200> bored<00:51:17.440> of<00:51:17.560> it<00:51:17.680> by<00:51:17.800> the<00:51:17.920> seventh<00:51:18.320> day.

00:51:18.640 --> 00:51:23.440
You're<00:51:18.720> like,<00:51:18.920> "Meh,<00:51:19.360> ice<00:51:19.560> cream."<00:51:20.720> But<00:51:20.800> imagine<00:51:21.360> you<00:51:21.480> would<00:51:21.680> forget<00:51:22.160> every<00:51:22.440> day.

00:51:23.440 --> 00:51:29.015
So,<00:51:23.680> every<00:51:24.000> day<00:51:24.320> you<00:51:24.520> tried<00:51:24.880> ice<00:51:25.040> cream<00:51:25.280> it<00:51:25.360> was<00:51:25.520> the<00:51:25.600> first<00:51:25.880> time<00:51:26.040> again,<00:51:26.720> the<00:51:26.880> first<00:51:27.160> time<00:51:27.320> again,<00:51:27.840> the<00:51:27.960> first<00:51:28.240> time<00:51:28.400> again.

00:51:29.015 --> 00:51:35.920
[sighs]<00:51:29.400> And<00:51:29.520> that's<00:51:29.760> why<00:51:29.920> we're<00:51:30.080> here.<00:51:30.360> We're<00:51:30.520> here<00:51:30.880> to<00:51:31.120> forget<00:51:31.680> love<00:51:32.040> to<00:51:32.240> remember<00:51:32.720> it<00:51:32.880> because<00:51:33.200> when<00:51:33.360> you<00:51:33.480> remember<00:51:34.000> the<00:51:34.160> unconditional<00:51:34.760> love<00:51:34.920> that<00:51:35.080> you<00:51:35.280> are,

00:51:35.920 --> 00:51:38.160
it<00:51:36.280> is<00:51:36.680> there's<00:51:36.920> no<00:51:37.120> greater<00:51:37.520> feeling.

00:51:38.160 --> 00:51:41.640
None.<00:51:38.800> Not<00:51:39.000> even<00:51:39.200> winning<00:51:39.480> the<00:51:39.560> lottery<00:51:40.160> it<00:51:40.280> beats<00:51:40.560> that.

00:51:41.640 --> 00:51:47.320
And<00:51:41.760> it's<00:51:41.960> just<00:51:42.440> the<00:51:42.560> gift<00:51:43.000> is<00:51:43.240> knowing<00:51:43.760> that<00:51:44.080> you<00:51:44.440> remembering<00:51:45.160> love<00:51:45.520> is<00:51:45.680> serving<00:51:46.040> the<00:51:46.160> whole.

00:51:47.320 --> 00:51:51.520
You<00:51:47.760> not<00:51:48.240> remembering<00:51:48.760> love<00:51:49.200> is<00:51:49.440> also<00:51:49.760> serving<00:51:50.160> the<00:51:50.280> whole.

00:51:51.520 --> 00:51:55.640
So,<00:51:51.640> your<00:51:51.840> individual<00:51:52.480> free<00:51:52.760> will<00:51:53.000> pieces,<00:51:53.960> well,<00:51:54.080> can<00:51:54.320> I<00:51:54.400> remember<00:51:54.800> it<00:51:54.920> today?

00:51:55.640 --> 00:51:59.240
Can<00:51:55.800> I<00:51:55.840> remember<00:51:56.240> it<00:51:56.360> right<00:51:56.560> now?<00:51:57.040> Yeah,<00:51:57.480> ooh,<00:51:57.880> ice<00:51:58.120> cream<00:51:58.360> for<00:51:58.480> the<00:51:58.560> first<00:51:58.880> time.

00:51:59.240 --> 00:52:02.960
When<00:51:59.400> you<00:51:59.480> start<00:51:59.720> to<00:51:59.840> feel<00:52:00.120> it<00:52:00.480> truly,<00:52:01.080> authentically.

00:52:02.960 --> 00:52:05.560
But,<00:52:03.280> it<00:52:03.480> won't<00:52:03.680> make<00:52:03.920> sense<00:52:04.240> to<00:52:04.360> our<00:52:04.600> intellect<00:52:05.120> here.

00:52:05.560 --> 00:52:12.160
It<00:52:05.760> won't<00:52:05.960> make<00:52:06.120> sense.<00:52:06.360> It's<00:52:06.480> kind<00:52:06.680> of<00:52:06.800> like<00:52:07.000> that<00:52:07.280> embrace<00:52:07.760> of<00:52:07.880> God,<00:52:08.240> which<00:52:08.480> I<00:52:08.600> was<00:52:08.880> in,<00:52:09.560> created<00:52:10.200> everything<00:52:10.800> for<00:52:11.000> us<00:52:11.200> to<00:52:11.320> experience.

00:52:12.160 --> 00:52:16.000
This<00:52:12.480> divine<00:52:12.880> intelligence<00:52:13.480> created<00:52:13.840> everything<00:52:14.240> for<00:52:14.400> us<00:52:14.680> to<00:52:14.840> experience.

00:52:16.000 --> 00:52:21.960
So,<00:52:16.320> it<00:52:16.560> could<00:52:16.720> experience<00:52:17.600> our<00:52:17.880> laughter,<00:52:19.360> our<00:52:19.600> love,<00:52:20.680> our<00:52:20.920> sorrow.

00:52:21.960 --> 00:52:28.960
It's<00:52:22.120> experiencing<00:52:22.840> through<00:52:23.160> us.<00:52:23.400> We're<00:52:24.400> it's<00:52:24.600> like<00:52:24.880> walking<00:52:25.280> away<00:52:25.560> from<00:52:25.760> the<00:52:25.840> sun,<00:52:26.280> forgetting<00:52:26.720> the<00:52:26.800> sun<00:52:27.080> exists,<00:52:27.440> and<00:52:27.560> you<00:52:27.640> turn<00:52:27.880> around,<00:52:28.240> and<00:52:28.360> you're<00:52:28.440> like,<00:52:28.640> "Oh,

00:52:28.960 --> 00:52:31.600
a<00:52:29.040> sun."<00:52:29.560> And<00:52:29.680> the<00:52:29.760> sun<00:52:29.960> is<00:52:30.080> like,<00:52:30.320> "You<00:52:30.560> remember."

00:52:31.600 --> 00:52:35.680
And<00:52:31.800> it's<00:52:31.960> like<00:52:32.160> hugs<00:52:32.680> and<00:52:32.800> love,<00:52:33.360> and<00:52:33.520> it's<00:52:33.720> just<00:52:34.600> it's<00:52:34.760> an<00:52:34.880> exercise.

00:52:35.680 --> 00:52:39.280
And<00:52:35.800> the<00:52:35.920> unfortunate<00:52:36.520> part<00:52:36.800> is<00:52:36.960> we<00:52:37.080> look<00:52:37.280> at<00:52:37.440> it<00:52:37.640> as<00:52:37.840> something<00:52:38.160> to<00:52:38.280> solve.

00:52:39.280 --> 00:52:42.200
And<00:52:39.440> in<00:52:39.560> trying<00:52:39.840> to<00:52:39.960> solve<00:52:40.360> it,<00:52:40.480> we<00:52:40.600> create<00:52:40.880> our<00:52:40.960> own<00:52:41.120> suffering.

00:52:42.200 --> 00:52:45.680
And<00:52:42.280> I<00:52:42.320> would<00:52:42.440> just<00:52:42.560> say<00:52:42.680> it's<00:52:42.840> an<00:52:42.960> exercise.<00:52:43.480> It's<00:52:43.640> an<00:52:43.760> exercise<00:52:44.240> in<00:52:44.400> right<00:52:44.640> now.

00:52:45.680 --> 00:52:47.840
So,<00:52:45.880> right<00:52:46.160> now,<00:52:46.600> can<00:52:46.840> you<00:52:46.960> be<00:52:47.120> love<00:52:47.480> right<00:52:47.680> now?

00:52:47.840 --> 00:52:50.760
Don't<00:52:48.000> worry<00:52:48.120> about<00:52:48.320> tomorrow.<00:52:48.680> Don't<00:52:48.800> worry<00:52:48.960> about<00:52:49.160> 5<00:52:49.400> minutes<00:52:50.320> from<00:52:50.520> now.

00:52:50.760 --> 00:52:53.920
Just<00:52:51.200> right<00:52:51.480> now,<00:52:51.720> can<00:52:51.920> you<00:52:51.960> do<00:52:52.120> it?<00:52:53.080> Good.

00:52:53.920 --> 00:52:57.360
Now,<00:52:54.200> remember<00:52:54.640> as<00:52:54.760> many<00:52:55.080> right<00:52:55.320> now's<00:52:55.600> as<00:52:55.760> you<00:52:55.840> can<00:52:56.080> throughout<00:52:56.360> your<00:52:56.480> life.

00:52:57.360 --> 00:53:00.480
You're<00:52:57.480> going<00:52:57.680> to<00:52:57.760> forget.<00:52:58.240> You're<00:52:58.360> going<00:52:58.520> to<00:52:58.600> be<00:52:58.760> the<00:52:58.880> nightmare<00:52:59.280> in<00:52:59.400> somebody<00:52:59.800> else's<00:53:00.200> life.

00:53:00.480 --> 00:53:03.520
You're<00:53:00.600> going<00:53:00.760> to<00:53:00.840> be<00:53:00.960> the<00:53:01.080> grumpy<00:53:01.440> person.<00:53:02.360> That's<00:53:02.720> to<00:53:02.840> be<00:53:02.960> expected.

00:53:03.520 --> 00:53:09.960
This<00:53:03.680> was<00:53:03.840> never<00:53:04.160> about<00:53:04.400> perfection.<00:53:05.560> But,<00:53:05.720> when<00:53:05.920> you<00:53:06.080> get<00:53:06.360> to<00:53:06.480> the<00:53:06.640> right<00:53:06.960> now,<00:53:07.360> I<00:53:07.480> remember,<00:53:08.840> that's<00:53:09.120> what<00:53:09.240> changes<00:53:09.600> the<00:53:09.720> world.

00:53:09.960 --> 00:53:15.120
That's<00:53:10.120> what<00:53:10.240> changes<00:53:10.680> the<00:53:10.800> experience.<00:53:11.360> That's<00:53:11.600> when<00:53:11.720> you<00:53:11.840> turn<00:53:12.240> and<00:53:12.400> face<00:53:12.680> the<00:53:12.800> sun<00:53:13.160> and<00:53:13.240> go,<00:53:13.440> "Ooh,<00:53:13.600> I<00:53:13.640> know<00:53:13.840> you're<00:53:14.040> there."

00:53:15.120 --> 00:53:20.440
And<00:53:15.160> that's<00:53:15.360> where<00:53:15.520> magic<00:53:15.920> happens.<00:53:16.600> That's<00:53:16.800> putting<00:53:17.160> yourself<00:53:17.720> in<00:53:17.840> a<00:53:17.880> state<00:53:18.280> where<00:53:18.400> magic<00:53:18.800> can<00:53:18.960> happen.

00:53:20.440 --> 00:53:23.840
Do<00:53:20.520> you<00:53:20.640> find<00:53:21.000> that,<00:53:21.360> um,<00:53:21.720> you<00:53:21.840> don't<00:53:22.080> have<00:53:22.360> to<00:53:22.480> practice<00:53:23.040> this<00:53:23.320> anymore?

00:53:23.840 --> 00:53:27.680
Like,<00:53:24.320> um,<00:53:24.920> be<00:53:25.480> attentive<00:53:26.200> and<00:53:26.360> remembering<00:53:27.000> it<00:53:27.240> and<00:53:27.360> so<00:53:27.560> on.

00:53:27.680 --> 00:53:31.120
Does<00:53:27.880> it<00:53:27.960> come<00:53:28.240> Does<00:53:28.440> it<00:53:28.560> become<00:53:28.840> second<00:53:29.240> nature<00:53:30.200> after<00:53:30.560> a<00:53:30.640> while?

00:53:31.120 --> 00:53:33.560
So,<00:53:31.320> it's<00:53:31.440> just<00:53:31.680> your<00:53:31.840> spontaneous<00:53:32.520> way<00:53:32.640> of<00:53:32.800> functioning.

00:53:33.560 --> 00:53:38.640
Whereas,<00:53:34.160> for<00:53:34.960> maybe<00:53:35.320> somebody<00:53:35.600> who<00:53:35.720> hasn't<00:53:36.640> experienced<00:53:37.280> what<00:53:37.440> you<00:53:37.560> have,<00:53:38.240> Yeah.

00:53:38.640 --> 00:53:44.240
they<00:53:38.840> really<00:53:39.080> need<00:53:39.240> to<00:53:39.320> make<00:53:39.480> an<00:53:39.600> effort<00:53:39.920> because<00:53:40.240> otherwise<00:53:40.600> it's<00:53:40.800> it's<00:53:41.000> so<00:53:41.200> easily<00:53:41.480> forgotten,<00:53:42.040> and<00:53:42.240> they<00:53:42.360> have<00:53:42.520> to<00:53:42.640> be<00:53:42.800> more<00:53:43.200> vigilant.

00:53:44.240 --> 00:53:49.560
Yeah,<00:53:44.600> I<00:53:44.720> tell<00:53:44.960> people<00:53:46.800> kind<00:53:46.960> of<00:53:47.120> don't<00:53:47.360> make<00:53:47.600> it<00:53:47.680> an<00:53:47.800> effort,<00:53:48.080> make<00:53:48.200> it<00:53:48.280> a<00:53:48.360> practice.

00:53:49.560 --> 00:53:53.040
Right,<00:53:49.760> fake<00:53:49.960> it<00:53:50.040> till<00:53:50.200> you<00:53:50.280> make<00:53:50.440> it.<00:53:51.000> practice.<00:53:51.640> Yeah,<00:53:51.720> fake<00:53:51.960> it<00:53:52.120> fake<00:53:52.360> it<00:53:52.480> till<00:53:52.600> you<00:53:52.680> make<00:53:52.920> it.

00:53:53.040 --> 00:54:01.200
You<00:53:53.120> know,<00:53:53.360> once<00:53:54.160> I<00:53:54.520> I<00:53:55.880> pray<00:53:56.360> or<00:53:56.520> give<00:53:56.800> thanks<00:53:57.320> or<00:53:57.480> connect<00:53:58.920> three<00:53:59.280> times<00:53:59.600> a<00:53:59.640> day<00:54:00.360> minimum.

00:54:01.200 --> 00:54:03.400
But<00:54:01.360> those<00:54:01.520> three<00:54:01.720> times<00:54:02.000> a<00:54:02.040> day<00:54:02.200> are<00:54:02.360> always<00:54:02.800> my<00:54:03.000> meals.

00:54:03.400 --> 00:54:06.440
I<00:54:03.480> eat<00:54:03.600> three<00:54:03.880> meals<00:54:04.320> a<00:54:04.360> day.<00:54:05.240> Breakfast,<00:54:05.720> thank<00:54:05.920> you<00:54:06.000> for<00:54:06.120> the<00:54:06.200> day.

00:54:06.440 --> 00:54:09.960
Thank<00:54:06.640> you<00:54:06.680> for<00:54:06.800> the<00:54:06.920> opportunities,<00:54:07.520> right?<00:54:07.760> I'm<00:54:07.840> trying<00:54:08.160> to<00:54:08.280> be<00:54:08.480> love<00:54:08.840> in<00:54:08.920> the<00:54:09.000> moment.

00:54:09.960 --> 00:54:13.400
Allow<00:54:10.280> that<00:54:10.480> love<00:54:10.720> to<00:54:10.840> come<00:54:11.040> within<00:54:11.320> me.<00:54:11.520> And<00:54:11.600> I<00:54:11.640> do<00:54:11.800> that<00:54:11.960> three<00:54:12.120> times<00:54:12.360> a<00:54:12.400> day.

00:54:13.400 --> 00:54:16.200
But<00:54:13.480> then<00:54:13.640> you<00:54:13.760> can<00:54:13.880> expand<00:54:14.320> that.<00:54:14.480> You<00:54:14.560> can<00:54:14.880> expand<00:54:15.280> that<00:54:15.400> into<00:54:15.600> gratitude.

00:54:16.200 --> 00:54:21.760
And<00:54:16.360> gratitude<00:54:17.160> is<00:54:17.440> setting<00:54:17.880> the<00:54:18.000> stage<00:54:19.080> for<00:54:19.760> I<00:54:19.880> recognize<00:54:20.440> this<00:54:20.600> as<00:54:20.720> a<00:54:20.800> gift.

00:54:21.760 --> 00:54:28.360
I<00:54:21.800> don't<00:54:22.080> feel<00:54:22.400> it<00:54:22.560> right<00:54:22.760> now.<00:54:24.120> Not<00:54:24.360> feeling<00:54:24.680> that<00:54:24.840> unconditional<00:54:25.480> love<00:54:25.680> in<00:54:25.760> this<00:54:25.960> moment<00:54:26.320> cuz<00:54:26.480> my<00:54:26.640> boss,<00:54:27.080> well,<00:54:27.280> I<00:54:27.320> hate<00:54:27.520> his<00:54:27.640> guts.

00:54:28.360 --> 00:54:31.440
But<00:54:29.080> I<00:54:29.160> recognize<00:54:29.680> there's<00:54:29.920> a<00:54:29.960> gift<00:54:30.320> in<00:54:30.440> it.

00:54:31.440 --> 00:54:35.000
And<00:54:31.560> that's<00:54:31.760> just<00:54:32.040> starting<00:54:32.560> the<00:54:32.680> process.<00:54:33.280> It's<00:54:33.480> a<00:54:33.520> muscle<00:54:34.400> in<00:54:34.520> a<00:54:34.600> way.

00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:42.000
It's<00:54:35.240> kind<00:54:35.440> of<00:54:35.600> like<00:54:36.000> um<00:54:37.440> the<00:54:37.480> more<00:54:37.680> you<00:54:37.800> exercise<00:54:38.320> it,<00:54:38.440> the<00:54:38.520> more<00:54:38.680> you<00:54:38.840> use<00:54:39.120> it,<00:54:39.240> the<00:54:39.400> easier<00:54:39.720> it<00:54:39.840> is<00:54:40.920> to<00:54:41.080> flex<00:54:41.400> it.

00:54:42.000 --> 00:54:44.120
Um<00:54:42.440> sometimes<00:54:42.920> I<00:54:42.960> say<00:54:43.200> it's<00:54:43.400> the<00:54:43.520> shedding.

00:54:44.120 --> 00:54:49.520
So<00:54:44.320> you<00:54:44.440> have<00:54:44.560> all<00:54:44.800> these<00:54:45.040> layers<00:54:45.400> of<00:54:45.520> the<00:54:45.680> onion<00:54:46.040> and<00:54:46.160> you're<00:54:46.280> just<00:54:46.520> peeling<00:54:46.960> away<00:54:47.200> layer<00:54:47.560> after<00:54:47.840> layer<00:54:48.120> after<00:54:48.440> layer.

00:54:49.520 --> 00:54:52.280
And<00:54:49.640> you're<00:54:49.760> just<00:54:49.960> getting<00:54:50.200> to<00:54:50.320> the<00:54:50.440> source<00:54:50.840> of<00:54:50.960> what<00:54:51.120> you<00:54:51.320> are.

00:54:52.280 --> 00:54:55.280
And<00:54:52.480> some<00:54:52.680> people<00:54:52.960> do<00:54:53.160> that<00:54:53.440> in<00:54:53.520> this<00:54:53.720> life.<00:54:54.040> And<00:54:54.200> some<00:54:54.400> people<00:54:54.760> won't.

00:54:55.280 --> 00:55:01.080
Some<00:54:55.480> people<00:54:55.760> refuse.<00:54:57.120> And<00:54:57.480> love<00:54:57.840> them<00:54:58.040> anyway<00:54:58.360> because<00:54:58.680> they're<00:54:58.840> serving<00:54:59.440> to<00:54:59.560> help<00:54:59.920> you<00:55:00.240> do<00:55:00.480> it.

00:55:01.080 --> 00:55:07.400
Right?<00:55:01.360> You<00:55:01.480> recognize<00:55:02.440> the<00:55:02.760> action<00:55:03.280> in<00:55:03.400> another<00:55:03.760> and<00:55:03.840> go<00:55:05.400> I<00:55:05.480> just<00:55:05.800> don't<00:55:06.080> condone<00:55:06.480> that<00:55:06.680> behavior.

00:55:07.400 --> 00:55:15.680
And<00:55:08.840> wait<00:55:09.000> a<00:55:09.080> second,<00:55:09.480> but<00:55:09.720> that<00:55:09.880> behavior<00:55:10.360> is<00:55:10.440> serving<00:55:10.840> me<00:55:10.960> because<00:55:11.280> now<00:55:11.560> I'm<00:55:12.000> being<00:55:12.360> the<00:55:12.520> witness<00:55:13.040> to<00:55:13.200> it<00:55:13.360> that<00:55:13.480> says,<00:55:14.240> "Okay,<00:55:14.600> I'll<00:55:14.760> choose<00:55:15.120> to<00:55:15.200> be<00:55:15.360> love<00:55:15.600> in

00:55:15.680 --> 00:55:23.400
the<00:55:15.760> moment<00:55:16.080> and<00:55:16.160> not<00:55:16.360> judge<00:55:16.640> the<00:55:16.720> behavior."<00:55:18.520> So<00:55:19.160> we're<00:55:19.360> all<00:55:19.520> serving<00:55:20.000> each<00:55:20.200> other,<00:55:20.440> breathing,<00:55:21.200> serving<00:55:21.560> each<00:55:21.760> other,<00:55:21.960> handing<00:55:22.240> out<00:55:22.400> sandwiches<00:55:22.840> on<00:55:22.960> the<00:55:23.040> church

00:55:23.400 --> 00:55:26.480
steps,<00:55:23.840> serving<00:55:24.200> each<00:55:24.360> other<00:55:24.840> all<00:55:25.120> the<00:55:25.240> time.

00:55:26.480 --> 00:55:29.240
And<00:55:27.120> um<00:55:27.760> in<00:55:27.960> that<00:55:28.200> space<00:55:28.600> you<00:55:28.720> feel<00:55:29.000> that.

00:55:29.240 --> 00:55:38.800
You<00:55:29.360> recognize<00:55:29.960> that.<00:55:31.368> [sighs]<00:55:31.920> And<00:55:32.000> then<00:55:32.160> coming<00:55:32.480> out<00:55:32.640> of<00:55:32.720> that<00:55:33.080> it<00:55:33.280> was<00:55:33.800> like<00:55:34.040> dropping<00:55:34.640> in<00:55:34.760> slow<00:55:35.080> motion<00:55:35.520> back<00:55:35.920> into<00:55:37.200> a<00:55:37.360> body.

00:55:38.800 --> 00:55:44.000
A<00:55:38.920> question<00:55:39.360> just<00:55:39.560> came<00:55:39.800> in<00:55:40.000> from<00:55:40.200> this<00:55:40.520> directly<00:55:41.000> relevant<00:55:41.440> to<00:55:41.520> what<00:55:41.640> you<00:55:41.720> were<00:55:41.800> saying<00:55:42.160> from<00:55:42.360> a<00:55:42.400> guy<00:55:42.560> named<00:55:42.800> Martin<00:55:43.160> Klein.

00:55:44.000 --> 00:55:50.280
He<00:55:44.360> If<00:55:44.560> the<00:55:44.680> only<00:55:44.840> decision<00:55:45.640> we<00:55:45.880> can<00:55:46.080> make<00:55:46.400> is<00:55:46.600> whether<00:55:46.920> we<00:55:47.040> choose<00:55:47.400> to<00:55:47.480> be<00:55:47.600> awake<00:55:47.920> or<00:55:48.000> asleep,<00:55:48.840> how<00:55:48.960> do<00:55:49.040> we<00:55:49.160> actually<00:55:49.440> do<00:55:49.680> that?

00:55:50.280 --> 00:55:54.960
Do<00:55:50.400> we<00:55:50.520> make<00:55:50.720> the<00:55:50.800> decision<00:55:51.280> once<00:55:51.640> and<00:55:51.800> ask<00:55:52.040> the<00:55:52.160> thing<00:55:52.360> in<00:55:52.480> the<00:55:52.560> room<00:55:52.840> with<00:55:53.040> us,<00:55:53.280> "Please,<00:55:53.760> I<00:55:53.840> choose<00:55:54.080> to<00:55:54.160> be<00:55:54.280> awake."

00:55:54.960 --> 00:56:01.760
Or<00:55:55.120> is<00:55:55.240> it<00:55:55.360> more<00:55:55.560> like<00:55:55.760> thousands<00:55:56.240> of<00:55:56.360> little<00:55:56.560> micro<00:55:56.840> decisions<00:55:57.440> in<00:55:57.560> daily<00:55:57.880> life<00:55:58.160> where<00:55:58.280> we<00:55:58.400> try<00:55:58.640> remembering<00:55:59.200> to<00:55:59.320> choose<00:55:59.760> to<00:55:59.920> act<00:56:00.240> or<00:56:00.400> react<00:56:00.800> from<00:56:00.960> a<00:56:01.040> space<00:56:01.320> of<00:56:01.480> love

00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:10.560
rather<00:56:02.000> than<00:56:02.200> from<00:56:02.400> a<00:56:02.440> space<00:56:02.800> of<00:56:02.960> fear?<00:56:04.280> I<00:56:04.360> think<00:56:04.640> it's<00:56:05.000> a<00:56:05.080> little<00:56:05.400> bit<00:56:05.600> individual,<00:56:06.160> but<00:56:06.320> I'll<00:56:06.440> tell<00:56:06.640> you<00:56:06.760> how<00:56:06.920> it<00:56:07.080> was<00:56:07.520> shown<00:56:07.840> to<00:56:07.960> me<00:56:08.320> in<00:56:08.600> my<00:56:08.920> life<00:56:09.280> review.

00:56:10.560 --> 00:56:14.400
It<00:56:10.720> was<00:56:10.920> shown<00:56:11.160> to<00:56:11.320> me<00:56:11.600> that<00:56:12.440> it's<00:56:12.880> a<00:56:13.120> state.

00:56:14.400 --> 00:56:17.080
So,<00:56:14.560> you're<00:56:14.680> not<00:56:15.280> I<00:56:15.840> We<00:56:16.000> use<00:56:16.160> the<00:56:16.280> words<00:56:16.520> like<00:56:16.640> decision.

00:56:17.080 --> 00:56:20.920
You're<00:56:17.160> trying<00:56:17.360> to<00:56:17.440> make<00:56:17.600> a<00:56:17.640> decision,<00:56:18.080> and<00:56:18.200> that's<00:56:18.440> true.<00:56:19.160> But,<00:56:19.320> think<00:56:19.520> of<00:56:19.640> it<00:56:19.800> more<00:56:20.080> as<00:56:20.280> a<00:56:20.320> state.

00:56:20.920 --> 00:56:24.760
I'm<00:56:21.040> trying<00:56:21.360> to<00:56:21.560> put<00:56:21.840> myself<00:56:22.360> in<00:56:22.560> a<00:56:22.640> state<00:56:23.160> where<00:56:23.320> I'm<00:56:23.520> aware.

00:56:24.760 --> 00:56:30.800
And<00:56:24.840> if<00:56:25.000> I'm<00:56:25.160> aware,<00:56:25.720> I<00:56:25.840> tend<00:56:26.160> to<00:56:26.280> see<00:56:26.520> if<00:56:26.800> I<00:56:26.880> am<00:56:27.040> loving<00:56:27.360> or<00:56:27.560> I<00:56:27.600> am<00:56:27.760> not,<00:56:28.080> rather<00:56:28.320> than<00:56:28.520> blindly<00:56:29.120> walking<00:56:29.560> through<00:56:29.800> life.

00:56:30.800 --> 00:56:35.280
It<00:56:30.920> was<00:56:31.080> kind<00:56:31.400> of<00:56:31.560> like<00:56:32.280> um<00:56:33.600> Uh,<00:56:34.080> I'll<00:56:34.240> use<00:56:34.520> it.

00:56:35.280 --> 00:56:41.840
Um,<00:56:35.640> you<00:56:35.720> know,<00:56:35.800> I<00:56:35.880> wasn't<00:56:36.160> a<00:56:36.200> good<00:56:36.400> guy.<00:56:37.480> I<00:56:37.640> hung<00:56:37.880> out<00:56:38.040> with<00:56:38.160> people<00:56:38.480> that<00:56:38.680> weren't<00:56:38.880> great<00:56:39.080> people,<00:56:39.400> and<00:56:39.520> I<00:56:39.640> would<00:56:40.560> say,<00:56:40.800> "Hey<00:56:40.920> guys,<00:56:41.160> let's<00:56:41.360> go<00:56:41.440> to<00:56:41.520> the<00:56:41.600> bar.

00:56:41.840 --> 00:56:44.360
First<00:56:42.040> one<00:56:42.160> to<00:56:42.240> pick<00:56:42.440> up<00:56:42.560> a<00:56:42.600> married<00:56:42.960> lady<00:56:43.480> wins."

00:56:44.360 --> 00:56:48.960
And<00:56:44.560> it's<00:56:44.720> kind<00:56:44.960> of<00:56:45.080> like<00:56:45.800> Yeah,<00:56:46.280> and<00:56:46.600> it's<00:56:46.720> kind<00:56:46.920> of<00:56:47.040> like<00:56:47.280> that's<00:56:47.600> who<00:56:47.760> I<00:56:47.840> was.

00:56:48.960 --> 00:56:53.000
And<00:56:49.080> it's<00:56:49.200> kind<00:56:49.400> of<00:56:49.480> like<00:56:49.680> you<00:56:49.800> would<00:56:49.920> look<00:56:50.120> at<00:56:50.240> that<00:56:50.480> and<00:56:50.600> say,<00:56:50.920> "Well,<00:56:51.200> obviously<00:56:51.840> don't<00:56:52.160> do<00:56:52.360> that,<00:56:52.600> dude.

00:56:53.000 --> 00:56:58.720
Like,<00:56:53.240> go<00:56:53.400> to<00:56:53.520> a<00:56:53.600> movie."<00:56:55.200> And<00:56:55.360> I<00:56:55.440> was<00:56:55.600> shown<00:56:55.840> if<00:56:56.000> I<00:56:56.080> had<00:56:56.200> gone<00:56:56.440> to<00:56:56.560> the<00:56:56.640> movie,<00:56:56.920> it<00:56:57.000> wouldn't<00:56:57.160> have<00:56:57.280> changed<00:56:57.600> a<00:56:57.680> thing.

00:56:58.720 --> 00:57:05.800
It<00:56:58.880> would<00:56:59.000> have<00:56:59.120> changed<00:56:59.560> nothing<00:56:59.880> because<00:57:00.160> I<00:57:00.240> would<00:57:00.400> just<00:57:00.720> be<00:57:00.840> the<00:57:00.960> same<00:57:01.360> being<00:57:02.160> in<00:57:02.360> the<00:57:02.480> movie<00:57:03.120> wishing<00:57:03.800> I<00:57:03.920> was<00:57:04.080> at<00:57:04.240> the<00:57:04.320> bar.

00:57:05.800 --> 00:57:08.080
And<00:57:05.920> it's<00:57:06.320> it's<00:57:06.840> about<00:57:07.320> state.

00:57:08.080 --> 00:57:10.800
It<00:57:08.320> Like,<00:57:08.560> we<00:57:08.680> think,<00:57:08.960> "Well,<00:57:09.120> it's<00:57:09.320> this<00:57:09.560> decision<00:57:10.040> or<00:57:10.160> this<00:57:10.360> decision."

00:57:10.800 --> 00:57:15.120
You're<00:57:10.880> like,<00:57:11.120> "Well,<00:57:11.960> kind<00:57:12.440> of,<00:57:12.560> but<00:57:12.720> it's<00:57:12.880> more<00:57:13.120> about<00:57:13.400> the<00:57:13.520> state<00:57:13.880> that<00:57:14.080> you're<00:57:14.240> in."

00:57:15.120 --> 00:57:21.800
If<00:57:15.360> I<00:57:15.480> had<00:57:15.680> woken<00:57:16.040> up<00:57:16.160> and<00:57:16.280> said,<00:57:16.440> "Well,<00:57:16.640> obviously<00:57:17.160> I<00:57:17.240> should<00:57:17.480> go<00:57:17.600> to<00:57:17.720> a<00:57:17.760> movie<00:57:18.080> because<00:57:18.640> I<00:57:18.760> want<00:57:19.320> to<00:57:19.440> be<00:57:19.520> a<00:57:19.600> good<00:57:19.800> person,<00:57:20.120> or<00:57:20.200> I<00:57:20.240> recognize<00:57:20.880> that<00:57:21.040> I<00:57:21.120> am<00:57:21.280> love."

00:57:21.800 --> 00:57:26.400
Then<00:57:22.120> you've<00:57:22.320> changed<00:57:22.920> state.<00:57:24.400> So,<00:57:25.200> it's<00:57:25.600> it's<00:57:25.760> a<00:57:25.840> reflection.

00:57:26.400 --> 00:57:29.640
It's<00:57:26.640> like<00:57:26.840> you're<00:57:26.960> dropping<00:57:27.400> rocks<00:57:27.760> in<00:57:27.840> a<00:57:27.920> pond,<00:57:28.280> and<00:57:28.400> those<00:57:28.640> ripples<00:57:29.080> go<00:57:29.360> out.

00:57:29.640 --> 00:57:35.840
So,<00:57:29.840> you<00:57:30.000> You<00:57:30.400> the<00:57:30.520> rock<00:57:30.800> in<00:57:30.880> the<00:57:30.960> pond<00:57:31.200> that<00:57:31.320> says,<00:57:31.600> I'm<00:57:31.720> a<00:57:31.760> loving<00:57:32.080> being,<00:57:33.040> your<00:57:33.120> next<00:57:33.400> 10<00:57:33.640> decisions<00:57:34.280> look<00:57:34.480> like<00:57:34.680> love.

00:57:35.840 --> 00:57:40.440
Right?<00:57:36.080> You<00:57:36.160> drop<00:57:36.400> the<00:57:36.520> pond<00:57:36.840> that<00:57:36.920> says<00:57:37.160> I'm<00:57:37.320> not,<00:57:37.960> the<00:57:38.040> next<00:57:38.320> 10<00:57:38.520> decisions<00:57:39.080> do<00:57:39.280> not<00:57:39.640> look<00:57:39.840> like<00:57:40.040> love.

00:57:40.440 --> 00:57:44.280
And<00:57:41.160> we<00:57:41.360> try<00:57:41.560> to<00:57:41.680> go<00:57:42.280> forks<00:57:42.680> in<00:57:42.760> the<00:57:42.880> road<00:57:43.360> every<00:57:43.720> decision.

00:57:44.280 --> 00:57:48.000
I<00:57:44.320> would<00:57:44.480> say<00:57:44.640> that's<00:57:45.520> you're<00:57:45.680> going<00:57:45.800> to<00:57:45.920> burn<00:57:46.200> up<00:57:46.480> trying<00:57:46.720> to<00:57:46.800> do<00:57:47.000> that.

00:57:48.000 --> 00:57:50.160
Think<00:57:48.160> about<00:57:48.480> your<00:57:48.640> state.<00:57:49.200> What<00:57:49.400> state<00:57:49.760> are<00:57:49.880> you<00:57:50.000> in?

00:57:50.160 --> 00:57:53.840
Less<00:57:50.400> about<00:57:50.640> the<00:57:50.720> decision,<00:57:51.160> more<00:57:51.320> about<00:57:51.520> the<00:57:51.600> state.<00:57:53.040> Okay,<00:57:53.320> good.

00:57:53.840 --> 00:58:02.480
And<00:57:53.960> then<00:57:54.200> presumably<00:57:54.960> as<00:57:55.200> the<00:57:55.320> state<00:57:55.760> becomes<00:57:56.240> more<00:57:56.480> elevated,<00:57:57.440> then<00:57:57.720> the<00:57:57.840> decisions<00:57:58.400> spontaneously<00:57:59.280> flow<00:57:59.640> from<00:58:00.040> that<00:58:00.440> state<00:58:01.320> and<00:58:01.520> are<00:58:02.000> loving

00:58:02.480 --> 00:58:05.160
or<00:58:02.760> you<00:58:02.880> know,<00:58:03.000> more<00:58:03.280> appropriate.<00:58:04.000> it's<00:58:04.160> multi-dimensional.

00:58:05.160 --> 00:58:14.120
Not<00:58:05.400> only<00:58:05.640> that,<00:58:06.440> but<00:58:06.920> your<00:58:07.320> existence<00:58:08.640> just<00:58:09.400> seems<00:58:09.960> to<00:58:10.200> randomly<00:58:11.280> turn<00:58:11.920> onto<00:58:12.360> a<00:58:12.400> different<00:58:12.760> set<00:58:12.920> of<00:58:13.040> tracks.

00:58:14.120 --> 00:58:17.040
It<00:58:14.240> kind<00:58:14.440> of<00:58:14.520> picks<00:58:14.760> you<00:58:14.920> up<00:58:15.080> and<00:58:15.200> says,<00:58:15.480> "Oh,<00:58:15.640> you're<00:58:15.840> on<00:58:15.960> these<00:58:16.160> loving<00:58:16.480> tracks."

00:58:17.040 --> 00:58:22.880
So<00:58:17.200> you<00:58:17.360> won't<00:58:17.560> even<00:58:17.800> get<00:58:18.000> put<00:58:18.240> in<00:58:18.320> the<00:58:18.400> situations<00:58:19.160> as<00:58:19.320> often<00:58:20.200> where<00:58:20.360> you<00:58:20.480> need<00:58:20.640> to<00:58:20.720> go,<00:58:20.880> "Oh,<00:58:21.000> I<00:58:21.080> need<00:58:21.280> to<00:58:21.360> be<00:58:21.480> love<00:58:21.720> in<00:58:21.840> this<00:58:22.040> moment."

00:58:22.880 --> 00:58:31.120
It's<00:58:23.080> like<00:58:23.280> there's<00:58:23.480> a<00:58:23.560> reward<00:58:24.120> system<00:58:24.680> in<00:58:24.880> place<00:58:26.040> that<00:58:27.040> is<00:58:27.240> in<00:58:28.200> it<00:58:28.360> directly<00:58:29.520> coincides<00:58:30.360> with<00:58:30.480> the<00:58:30.600> state<00:58:30.920> that

00:58:31.120 --> 00:58:36.680
you're<00:58:31.320> in.<00:58:32.400> So<00:58:32.520> if<00:58:32.640> you're<00:58:32.800> authentically<00:58:33.600> in<00:58:33.720> the<00:58:33.840> state,<00:58:34.520> it<00:58:34.640> goes,<00:58:34.880> "Okay,<00:58:35.200> I'm<00:58:35.520> not<00:58:35.640> going<00:58:35.760> to<00:58:35.840> challenge<00:58:36.240> you.

00:58:36.680 --> 00:58:42.480
You<00:58:36.800> don't<00:58:37.000> need<00:58:37.200> it.<00:58:37.640> I<00:58:37.760> would<00:58:37.960> prefer<00:58:38.360> you<00:58:38.480> to<00:58:38.600> just<00:58:38.840> be<00:58:38.960> love<00:58:39.520> so<00:58:39.680> that<00:58:39.840> others<00:58:40.120> can<00:58:40.320> recognize<00:58:40.840> it<00:58:40.960> in<00:58:41.080> themselves."

00:58:42.480 --> 00:58:48.280
So<00:58:42.680> it's<00:58:42.840> not<00:58:43.080> like,<00:58:43.240> "Well,<00:58:43.360> you're<00:58:43.560> loving<00:58:43.920> being,<00:58:44.320> let<00:58:44.480> me<00:58:44.600> give<00:58:44.800> you<00:58:44.920> a<00:58:45.000> bunch<00:58:45.400> of<00:58:45.520> stuff<00:58:45.840> to<00:58:46.040> really<00:58:46.440> mess<00:58:46.760> with<00:58:46.960> you<00:58:47.080> to<00:58:47.200> see<00:58:47.320> if<00:58:47.480> you<00:58:47.680> are."

00:58:48.280 --> 00:58:51.440
That's<00:58:48.920> it's<00:58:49.440> it's<00:58:49.640> not<00:58:49.880> doesn't<00:58:50.160> work<00:58:50.320> that<00:58:50.480> way.

00:58:51.440 --> 00:58:55.200
But<00:58:51.640> um<00:58:51.920> it's<00:58:52.080> more<00:58:52.240> loving<00:58:52.560> than<00:58:52.680> that.<00:58:54.080> Cool.

00:58:55.200 --> 00:58:59.800
Okay,<00:58:55.560> so<00:58:55.880> you<00:58:56.040> were<00:58:56.160> about<00:58:56.480> to<00:58:56.600> turn<00:58:57.000> to<00:58:57.480> the<00:58:57.840> emergency<00:58:58.600> from<00:58:58.760> near-death<00:58:59.160> experience.

00:58:59.800 --> 00:59:04.800
Yeah.<00:59:00.160> Yeah.<00:59:00.480> It<00:59:00.600> just<00:59:00.800> felt<00:59:01.120> like<00:59:01.320> I<00:59:01.400> dropped<00:59:01.840> back<00:59:02.080> into<00:59:02.280> my<00:59:02.400> body<00:59:02.920> like<00:59:03.800> a<00:59:03.840> raindrop.

00:59:04.800 --> 00:59:13.800
It<00:59:05.000> was<00:59:06.040> in<00:59:06.160> fact<00:59:06.480> when<00:59:06.640> I<00:59:06.760> say<00:59:07.080> it<00:59:07.280> that<00:59:07.520> way<00:59:07.800> and<00:59:08.000> I<00:59:08.520> I<00:59:08.640> get<00:59:08.880> a<00:59:08.920> vision<00:59:09.440> of<00:59:09.640> this<00:59:09.880> slow<00:59:10.400> motion<00:59:11.080> just<00:59:11.480> raindrop<00:59:12.160> falling.

00:59:13.800 --> 00:59:20.840
And<00:59:13.960> I<00:59:14.560> it<00:59:14.800> felt<00:59:15.080> horizontal<00:59:16.080> at<00:59:16.240> a<00:59:16.280> point<00:59:16.640> at<00:59:16.760> a<00:59:16.840> point,<00:59:17.240> kind<00:59:17.400> of<00:59:17.520> like<00:59:17.680> going<00:59:18.000> in<00:59:18.240> and<00:59:18.680> that's<00:59:18.960> when<00:59:19.120> I<00:59:19.200> had<00:59:19.560> like<00:59:19.720> the<00:59:19.840> tunnel<00:59:20.160> of<00:59:20.320> light.

00:59:20.840 --> 00:59:23.960
I<00:59:20.880> was<00:59:21.040> on<00:59:21.160> the<00:59:21.240> way<00:59:21.480> out,<00:59:22.160> way<00:59:22.320> back<00:59:22.640> into<00:59:22.880> the<00:59:22.960> body.

00:59:23.960 --> 00:59:27.840
It<00:59:24.000> was<00:59:24.120> like<00:59:24.280> that<00:59:25.240> light<00:59:25.600> was<00:59:25.760> pulling<00:59:26.160> back<00:59:26.520> from<00:59:26.760> me.

00:59:27.840 --> 00:59:31.240
Was<00:59:28.120> I<00:59:28.200> moving?<00:59:28.680> Was<00:59:28.880> I<00:59:28.960> actually<00:59:29.360> falling<00:59:29.800> or<00:59:29.920> was<00:59:30.160> it<00:59:30.320> just<00:59:30.560> pulling<00:59:30.840> away?

00:59:31.240 --> 00:59:41.600
I<00:59:31.360> don't<00:59:31.560> know,<00:59:32.520> but<00:59:32.640> it<00:59:32.800> felt<00:59:33.160> like<00:59:33.440> I<00:59:33.520> was<00:59:33.760> slowly<00:59:35.120> like<00:59:35.280> a<00:59:35.360> feather<00:59:36.000> if<00:59:36.200> it<00:59:36.320> just<00:59:36.640> floated<00:59:37.040> down,<00:59:37.400> not<00:59:37.600> that<00:59:37.720> it<00:59:37.800> was<00:59:37.960> swinging,<00:59:38.520> but<00:59:38.640> it<00:59:38.760> just<00:59:39.200> gently<00:59:41.000> slow

00:59:41.600 --> 00:59:46.080
motion<00:59:42.120> just<00:59:42.360> placed<00:59:42.720> back<00:59:42.960> in<00:59:43.040> the<00:59:43.120> body<00:59:43.520> which<00:59:43.680> is<00:59:43.840> very<00:59:45.080> very<00:59:45.520> strange.

00:59:46.080 --> 00:59:54.760
It<00:59:46.200> was<00:59:46.320> like<00:59:46.560> there<00:59:46.720> was<00:59:46.960> a<00:59:48.680> It's<00:59:49.000> almost<00:59:49.280> like<00:59:49.440> you<00:59:49.520> could<00:59:49.720> say<00:59:49.920> there's<00:59:50.200> a<00:59:51.160> a<00:59:51.480> point<00:59:52.160> or<00:59:52.440> a<00:59:53.000> a<00:59:53.120> platform<00:59:53.720> or<00:59:53.840> a<00:59:53.880> level<00:59:54.480> or

00:59:54.760 --> 01:00:03.720
something<00:59:55.560> that<00:59:55.800> you<00:59:55.960> come<00:59:56.280> through<00:59:57.200> and<00:59:57.480> when<00:59:57.640> you<00:59:57.800> get<00:59:58.040> on<00:59:58.240> it<00:59:58.960> and<00:59:59.280> get<00:59:59.480> through<00:59:59.800> it<01:00:01.000> it's<01:00:01.360> like<01:00:01.600> you<01:00:01.760> feel<01:00:02.960> material

01:00:03.720 --> 01:00:06.480
again.<01:00:04.160> You<01:00:04.320> feel<01:00:04.680> the<01:00:04.840> heavy<01:00:05.200> like<01:00:05.440> you<01:00:05.560> feel<01:00:05.880> oxygen.

01:00:06.480 --> 01:00:09.320
It'd<01:00:06.560> be<01:00:06.720> like<01:00:06.880> coming<01:00:07.160> from<01:00:07.360> space<01:00:07.840> into<01:00:08.320> oxygen,<01:00:08.880> right?

01:00:09.320 --> 01:00:12.160
There's<01:00:09.600> a<01:00:10.040> a<01:00:10.120> point<01:00:10.480> where<01:00:10.600> it's<01:00:10.720> just<01:00:10.960> there.

01:00:12.160 --> 01:00:14.520
And<01:00:12.480> I<01:00:12.520> felt<01:00:12.840> that<01:00:13.040> before<01:00:13.440> I<01:00:13.480> had<01:00:13.640> re-entered<01:00:14.120> the<01:00:14.200> body.

01:00:14.520 --> 01:00:19.720
It<01:00:14.640> was<01:00:14.760> kind<01:00:14.960> of<01:00:15.000> like<01:00:15.160> I<01:00:15.200> was<01:00:15.400> back<01:00:15.720> in<01:00:16.160> reality<01:00:16.880> or<01:00:17.040> this<01:00:17.400> illusion<01:00:18.000> or<01:00:18.080> this<01:00:18.240> matrix.

01:00:19.720 --> 01:00:23.240
And<01:00:21.880> it<01:00:22.200> was<01:00:22.320> the<01:00:22.440> weirdest<01:00:22.840> feeling.

01:00:23.240 --> 01:00:26.800
It<01:00:24.040> it<01:00:24.560> was<01:00:24.760> like<01:00:25.080> being<01:00:25.200> in<01:00:25.280> the<01:00:25.360> center<01:00:25.640> of<01:00:25.760> my<01:00:25.880> chest.

01:00:26.800 --> 01:00:34.240
It<01:00:26.960> was<01:00:27.080> like<01:00:27.280> I<01:00:27.360> was<01:00:27.560> standing<01:00:28.200> inside<01:00:28.640> my<01:00:28.760> body<01:00:29.160> in<01:00:29.320> the<01:00:29.400> middle<01:00:29.680> of<01:00:29.720> my<01:00:29.880> chest<01:00:30.240> in<01:00:30.360> darkness<01:00:31.320> knowing<01:00:31.720> that<01:00:31.880> I<01:00:31.920> was<01:00:32.080> in<01:00:32.200> a<01:00:32.240> body<01:00:32.640> but<01:00:32.800> couldn't<01:00:33.080> feel<01:00:33.520> any<01:00:33.720> of<01:00:33.840> the<01:00:33.920> body

01:00:34.240 --> 01:00:42.880
which<01:00:34.440> is<01:00:34.520> very<01:00:34.720> strange.<01:00:35.946> [sighs]<01:00:36.320> And<01:00:36.640> it<01:00:36.720> wasn't<01:00:37.000> until<01:00:37.320> recently<01:00:37.800> like<01:00:38.240> maybe<01:00:38.600> in<01:00:38.720> a<01:00:39.000> the<01:00:39.120> last<01:00:39.520> year<01:00:40.600> uh<01:00:41.120> I<01:00:41.160> was<01:00:41.320> talking<01:00:41.640> to<01:00:41.720> someone<01:00:41.960> who's<01:00:42.120> a<01:00:42.160> big<01:00:42.480> Rudolf

01:00:42.880 --> 01:00:49.240
Steiner<01:00:43.720> reader<01:00:44.120> and<01:00:44.200> he<01:00:44.280> said<01:00:44.480> he<01:00:44.720> describes<01:00:45.200> it<01:00:45.280> in<01:00:45.360> the<01:00:45.480> same<01:00:45.800> way<01:00:46.040> and<01:00:46.920> I<01:00:47.040> I<01:00:47.080> don't<01:00:47.280> know<01:00:47.440> much<01:00:47.720> about<01:00:48.040> Rudolf<01:00:48.320> Steiner.

01:00:49.240 --> 01:00:53.120
And<01:00:49.840> um<01:00:50.280> I<01:00:50.360> expanded<01:00:51.000> I<01:00:51.040> felt<01:00:51.240> like<01:00:51.360> I<01:00:51.400> was<01:00:51.520> expanding<01:00:52.120> into<01:00:52.320> the<01:00:52.440> torso.

01:00:53.120 --> 01:00:59.560
I<01:00:53.200> felt<01:00:53.440> like<01:00:53.560> I<01:00:53.640> was<01:00:53.840> just<01:00:54.720> just<01:00:55.120> slowly<01:00:55.600> growing<01:00:55.960> kind<01:00:56.160> of<01:00:56.240> like<01:00:56.360> that<01:00:56.640> light<01:00:57.040> grew<01:00:57.480> that<01:00:57.680> embraced<01:00:58.160> me.

01:00:59.560 --> 01:01:06.560
Like<01:01:00.000> a<01:01:00.080> slow<01:01:00.640> 1<01:01:00.960> 1,000,<01:01:02.240> 2<01:01:02.600> 1,000,<01:01:03.560> through<01:01:03.800> just<01:01:04.080> very<01:01:04.320> delicately<01:01:05.320> expanding.

01:01:06.560 --> 01:01:10.760
And<01:01:06.800> that's<01:01:07.080> when<01:01:07.240> I<01:01:07.320> felt<01:01:07.680> things<01:01:08.440> that<01:01:08.920> I<01:01:08.960> don't<01:01:09.200> think<01:01:09.360> anybody<01:01:09.800> should<01:01:10.000> feel.

01:01:10.760 --> 01:01:15.200
I<01:01:10.880> felt<01:01:11.200> like<01:01:11.440> the<01:01:11.560> heart<01:01:11.920> struggle<01:01:12.360> to<01:01:12.480> take<01:01:12.680> a<01:01:12.760> first<01:01:13.280> beat<01:01:13.720> and<01:01:13.840> it<01:01:13.920> was<01:01:14.080> like<01:01:14.240> a<01:01:14.320> half<01:01:14.640> beat<01:01:14.880> first.

01:01:15.200 --> 01:01:18.040
It<01:01:15.320> was<01:01:15.440> the<01:01:15.520> strangest<01:01:16.400> feeling<01:01:16.840> in<01:01:16.960> the<01:01:17.040> world.

01:01:18.040 --> 01:01:22.240
Don't<01:01:18.360> recommend<01:01:18.800> it<01:01:18.920> at<01:01:19.040> all.<01:01:20.160> Um<01:01:20.880> I<01:01:21.000> felt<01:01:21.320> the<01:01:21.440> first<01:01:21.800> beat.

01:01:22.240 --> 01:01:28.120
I<01:01:22.360> felt<01:01:22.680> like<01:01:23.360> I<01:01:23.440> felt<01:01:23.840> it<01:01:24.200> like<01:01:24.400> cramp,<01:01:25.240> like<01:01:25.440> it<01:01:25.560> was<01:01:25.680> cramped<01:01:26.720> and<01:01:26.840> it<01:01:27.000> didn't<01:01:27.280> want<01:01:27.440> to<01:01:27.520> beat.

01:01:28.120 --> 01:01:36.000
It<01:01:28.240> like<01:01:28.440> struggled.<01:01:29.640> Um,<01:01:30.600> I<01:01:30.680> recognized<01:01:31.440> that<01:01:31.880> I<01:01:32.000> could<01:01:32.240> feel<01:01:32.800> my<01:01:33.000> lungs<01:01:33.880> on<01:01:34.120> my<01:01:34.360> back.

01:01:36.000 --> 01:01:40.480
I<01:01:36.080> was<01:01:36.680> when<01:01:36.880> I<01:01:36.920> woke<01:01:37.160> up<01:01:37.280> I<01:01:37.320> didn't<01:01:37.520> know<01:01:37.680> I<01:01:37.720> was<01:01:37.920> on<01:01:38.040> my<01:01:38.160> back,<01:01:38.440> but<01:01:38.760> I<01:01:38.800> was<01:01:39.000> looking<01:01:39.280> at<01:01:39.400> the<01:01:39.440> ceiling.

01:01:40.480 --> 01:01:46.480
Um,<01:01:41.160> I<01:01:41.280> felt<01:01:41.560> my<01:01:41.720> lungs<01:01:42.440> inflate<01:01:43.240> slowly<01:01:43.960> without<01:01:44.360> ever<01:01:44.520> taking<01:01:44.880> my<01:01:45.040> first<01:01:45.360> breath.

01:01:46.480 --> 01:01:50.040
I<01:01:46.560> felt<01:01:46.840> fluid<01:01:47.320> start<01:01:47.560> on<01:01:47.640> my<01:01:47.760> left<01:01:48.080> side<01:01:48.720> after<01:01:49.040> my<01:01:49.200> heart<01:01:49.440> started<01:01:49.760> beating.

01:01:50.040 --> 01:01:53.440
I<01:01:50.120> felt<01:01:50.360> fluid<01:01:50.800> move<01:01:51.120> down<01:01:51.360> my<01:01:51.520> left<01:01:51.800> arm<01:01:52.160> first.

01:01:53.440 --> 01:01:57.400
And<01:01:53.600> it<01:01:53.720> had<01:01:53.880> a<01:01:53.960> weird,<01:01:54.440> like,<01:01:55.160> uh,<01:01:55.800> texture<01:01:56.360> to<01:01:56.560> it<01:01:56.760> almost.

01:01:57.400 --> 01:02:00.442
Like<01:01:57.600> a<01:01:57.840> sound<01:01:58.440> to<01:01:58.680> it.<01:01:58.800> It's<01:01:58.920> very<01:01:59.120> strange.

01:02:00.442 --> 01:02:05.200
[sighs<01:02:00.750> and<01:02:01.059> gasps]<01:02:01.367> And<01:02:01.676> then,<01:02:01.984> uh,<01:02:02.293> about<01:02:02.601> that<01:02:02.909> time,<01:02:03.218> I,<01:02:03.526> I<01:02:03.835> took<01:02:04.143> my<01:02:04.452> first<01:02:04.760> breath.

01:02:05.200 --> 01:02:07.480
I,<01:02:05.560> all<01:02:05.800> this<01:02:05.960> time,<01:02:06.200> I<01:02:06.240> was<01:02:06.320> expanding<01:02:06.920> into<01:02:07.080> the<01:02:07.200> body.

01:02:07.480 --> 01:02:09.280
It<01:02:07.600> wasn't<01:02:07.920> until<01:02:08.240> I<01:02:08.320> took<01:02:08.600> my<01:02:08.800> first<01:02:09.120> breath.

01:02:09.280 --> 01:02:13.320
It<01:02:09.360> was<01:02:09.480> like,<01:02:10.640> it<01:02:10.840> was<01:02:10.960> like<01:02:11.120> sand<01:02:11.800> filling<01:02:12.160> a<01:02:12.200> shoe<01:02:12.480> box.

01:02:13.320 --> 01:02:16.120
It's<01:02:13.440> just<01:02:13.680> slowly<01:02:14.360> filling<01:02:14.800> the<01:02:14.920> shoe<01:02:15.120> box.

01:02:16.120 --> 01:02:22.480
And<01:02:16.280> I'm<01:02:16.440> expanding<01:02:17.040> into<01:02:17.280> this<01:02:17.440> body,<01:02:17.720> and<01:02:17.960> when<01:02:18.120> I<01:02:18.160> expanded<01:02:18.760> up<01:02:18.880> to<01:02:19.000> the<01:02:19.120> head,<01:02:19.480> I<01:02:19.560> took<01:02:19.800> my<01:02:19.960> first<01:02:20.280> breath,<01:02:20.600> and<01:02:20.680> it<01:02:20.760> was<01:02:20.880> a<01:02:20.960> gasp.

01:02:22.480 --> 01:02:25.520
Huge<01:02:22.960> gasp.<01:02:23.720> Like<01:02:23.880> somebody<01:02:24.200> drowning.

01:02:25.520 --> 01:02:29.000
Um,<01:02:27.560> yeah,<01:02:27.840> I<01:02:27.920> don't<01:02:28.160> recommend<01:02:28.560> that<01:02:28.720> either.

01:02:29.000 --> 01:02:34.200
It<01:02:29.080> was<01:02:29.200> excruciating<01:02:30.320> in<01:02:30.440> a<01:02:30.480> way.<01:02:31.640> And,<01:02:32.320> uh,<01:02:33.000> I<01:02:33.120> just<01:02:33.360> laid<01:02:33.560> there.

01:02:34.200 --> 01:02:36.640
I<01:02:34.280> was<01:02:34.400> just<01:02:34.640> trying<01:02:34.800> to<01:02:34.880> catch<01:02:35.120> my<01:02:35.240> breath.<01:02:35.600> I<01:02:35.640> was<01:02:35.760> just<01:02:35.920> trying<01:02:36.080> to<01:02:36.160> breathe.

01:02:36.640 --> 01:02:41.000
I<01:02:36.680> was<01:02:36.880> just<01:02:37.880> sucking<01:02:38.480> in<01:02:38.720> wind<01:02:39.240> like<01:02:39.480> a<01:02:39.520> Hoover<01:02:39.920> vacuum.

01:02:41.000 --> 01:02:43.560
And,<01:02:41.680> um,<01:02:42.360> I<01:02:42.480> looked<01:02:42.720> up<01:02:42.880> at<01:02:42.960> the<01:02:43.040> ceiling.

01:02:43.560 --> 01:02:47.560
I<01:02:43.600> opened<01:02:43.840> my<01:02:44.040> eyes.<01:02:44.240> I'm<01:02:44.360> looking<01:02:44.640> at<01:02:44.720> the<01:02:44.800> ceiling,<01:02:45.200> and<01:02:45.560> then<01:02:45.800> the<01:02:45.880> confusion<01:02:46.800> started.

01:02:47.560 --> 01:02:55.720
Like,<01:02:47.859> what,<01:02:48.159> what,<01:02:48.458> what<01:02:48.757> happened?<01:02:49.056> [sighs<01:02:49.356> and<01:02:49.655> gasps]<01:02:49.954> And<01:02:50.253> then<01:02:50.553> I,<01:02:50.852> I<01:02:51.151> reached,<01:02:51.450> I<01:02:51.750> went<01:02:52.049> to<01:02:52.348> reach<01:02:52.647> for<01:02:52.947> my<01:02:53.246> phone,<01:02:53.545> and<01:02:53.844> it<01:02:54.144> was,<01:02:54.443> I<01:02:54.742> kind<01:02:55.041> of<01:02:55.341> looked<01:02:55.640> to

01:02:55.720 --> 01:02:57.760
my<01:02:55.880> right,<01:02:56.360> and<01:02:56.480> it<01:02:56.560> had<01:02:56.680> fallen<01:02:57.000> out<01:02:57.080> of<01:02:57.160> the<01:02:57.240> hoodie<01:02:57.440> pocket.

01:02:57.760 --> 01:03:01.840
It<01:02:57.800> was<01:02:57.960> laying<01:02:58.160> face<01:02:58.520> down<01:02:58.760> on<01:02:58.840> the<01:02:58.920> bathroom<01:02:59.280> floor,<01:02:59.520> and<01:02:59.640> I<01:02:59.680> picked<01:02:59.960> it<01:03:00.080> up,<01:03:00.240> and<01:03:00.360> I<01:03:00.400> went,<01:03:00.920> I<01:03:00.960> was<01:03:01.200> so<01:03:01.400> weak.

01:03:01.840 --> 01:03:04.080
Even<01:03:02.080> picking<01:03:02.360> up<01:03:02.480> the<01:03:02.560> phone<01:03:02.960> was<01:03:03.160> a<01:03:03.400> struggle.

01:03:04.080 --> 01:03:08.360
And<01:03:04.200> I<01:03:04.280> just<01:03:04.480> kind<01:03:04.640> of<01:03:04.760> looked<01:03:05.040> at<01:03:05.160> it,<01:03:05.280> clicked<01:03:05.480> the<01:03:05.560> button,<01:03:05.840> and<01:03:05.960> it<01:03:06.040> said<01:03:06.200> 4:30<01:03:07.400> or<01:03:07.560> 7:30.

01:03:08.360 --> 01:03:10.760
7:30.<01:03:09.240> 7:30<01:03:10.200> in<01:03:10.320> the<01:03:10.400> morning.

01:03:10.760 --> 01:03:14.280
Light,<01:03:11.160> light<01:03:11.480> was<01:03:11.640> now<01:03:11.880> coming<01:03:12.200> through<01:03:12.360> the<01:03:12.440> bathroom<01:03:12.880> window.

01:03:14.280 --> 01:03:16.960
And<01:03:14.440> it<01:03:14.560> was<01:03:14.760> like,<01:03:15.320> what<01:03:15.680> ha-<01:03:16.120> what<01:03:16.360> happened?

01:03:16.960 --> 01:03:23.440
Like<01:03:17.360> I<01:03:17.480> felt<01:03:17.760> different.<01:03:18.680> I<01:03:18.840> felt<01:03:20.960> empty<01:03:21.760> in<01:03:21.920> a<01:03:22.000> weird<01:03:22.400> way.

01:03:23.440 --> 01:03:28.480
Um,<01:03:25.200> I<01:03:25.360> felt<01:03:25.640> the<01:03:25.760> mind<01:03:26.240> was<01:03:26.400> empty<01:03:26.880> in<01:03:27.000> a<01:03:27.040> weird<01:03:27.360> way.

01:03:28.480 --> 01:03:30.800
And<01:03:28.720> I'm<01:03:28.840> just<01:03:29.040> trying<01:03:29.200> to<01:03:29.280> figure<01:03:29.600> out<01:03:29.720> what's<01:03:29.880> going<01:03:30.160> on.

01:03:30.800 --> 01:03:33.480
And<01:03:31.000> then,<01:03:31.520> uh,<01:03:31.760> I<01:03:31.880> tried<01:03:32.120> to<01:03:32.200> get<01:03:32.320> off<01:03:32.480> the<01:03:32.600> floor,<01:03:32.840> and<01:03:32.920> I<01:03:33.000> couldn't<01:03:33.240> move.

01:03:33.480 --> 01:03:37.320
Like,<01:03:33.680> my<01:03:33.840> left<01:03:34.280> leg<01:03:34.680> was<01:03:34.960> kind<01:03:35.240> of<01:03:36.080> under<01:03:36.520> my<01:03:36.720> right<01:03:37.040> leg.

01:03:37.320 --> 01:03:40.000
It<01:03:37.360> was<01:03:37.480> like<01:03:37.680> I<01:03:37.760> twisted<01:03:38.360> and<01:03:38.480> just<01:03:38.680> kind<01:03:38.880> of<01:03:39.040> fell.

01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:44.360
And<01:03:40.160> I<01:03:40.200> tried<01:03:40.480> to<01:03:40.560> move<01:03:40.760> my<01:03:40.920> left<01:03:41.200> leg<01:03:41.520> out<01:03:41.880> from<01:03:42.080> under<01:03:42.240> my<01:03:42.360> right<01:03:42.560> leg,<01:03:42.760> and<01:03:42.840> it<01:03:42.960> wouldn't<01:03:43.160> move.

01:03:44.360 --> 01:03:47.040
And<01:03:44.560> I<01:03:44.600> just<01:03:44.800> kind<01:03:44.920> of<01:03:45.040> sat<01:03:45.360> up<01:03:45.520> a<01:03:45.560> little<01:03:45.760> bit.<01:03:46.000> I'm<01:03:46.160> reaching<01:03:46.520> for<01:03:46.640> the<01:03:46.760> sink.

01:03:47.040 --> 01:03:51.120
And<01:03:47.120> when<01:03:47.240> I<01:03:47.320> reach<01:03:47.560> for<01:03:47.640> the<01:03:47.760> sink<01:03:48.040> and<01:03:48.120> I<01:03:48.200> grabbed<01:03:48.680> it,<01:03:48.840> the<01:03:49.200> thermometer<01:03:49.760> slid<01:03:50.200> off.

01:03:51.120 --> 01:03:55.680
This<01:03:51.320> digital<01:03:51.720> thermometer.<01:03:53.240> And,<01:03:54.240> and<01:03:54.400> I<01:03:54.440> know<01:03:54.680> nothing<01:03:55.040> is<01:03:55.200> random.

01:03:55.680 --> 01:03:59.960
Nothing<01:03:56.000> here<01:03:56.160> is<01:03:56.320> random.<01:03:56.800> I<01:03:56.880> was<01:03:57.000> shown<01:03:57.240> that,<01:03:57.480> not<01:03:57.680> even<01:03:57.840> the<01:03:57.920> piece<01:03:58.160> of<01:03:58.240> dust<01:03:58.520> that's<01:03:58.680> flying<01:03:58.960> by<01:03:59.080> your<01:03:59.240> face<01:03:59.520> right<01:03:59.680> now.

01:03:59.960 --> 01:04:03.160
Nothing.<01:04:01.160> So,<01:04:01.320> I<01:04:01.360> stuck<01:04:01.600> it<01:04:01.680> in<01:04:01.760> my<01:04:01.840> mouth.

01:04:03.160 --> 01:04:09.400
And<01:04:03.600> came<01:04:03.800> back<01:04:04.040> 94.0.<01:04:06.040> And<01:04:06.240> I<01:04:06.280> know<01:04:06.440> that's<01:04:06.680> emergency<01:04:07.160> hypothermia,<01:04:07.800> cuz<01:04:08.000> I<01:04:08.040> grew<01:04:08.240> up<01:04:08.360> as<01:04:08.520> a<01:04:08.600> hunter.

01:04:09.400 --> 01:04:13.480
I'm<01:04:09.600> like,<01:04:10.200> "You're<01:04:10.440> in<01:04:10.840> deep,<01:04:11.280> deep<01:04:11.600> trouble<01:04:12.160> if<01:04:12.400> you<01:04:12.520> see<01:04:12.680> that."

01:04:13.480 --> 01:04:17.000
And<01:04:14.040> I<01:04:14.120> looked<01:04:14.440> at<01:04:14.640> it.<01:04:15.520> And<01:04:15.760> I<01:04:15.800> said,<01:04:16.080> "Hmm."

01:04:17.000 --> 01:04:24.240
That<01:04:17.240> was<01:04:17.360> my<01:04:17.520> response.<01:04:18.080> "Hmm."<01:04:19.440> And<01:04:19.640> I<01:04:19.680> put<01:04:19.880> it<01:04:20.000> down<01:04:20.240> on<01:04:20.320> the<01:04:20.440> floor,<01:04:21.160> and<01:04:21.280> I<01:04:21.360> laid<01:04:21.600> there<01:04:21.760> for<01:04:21.920> a<01:04:21.960> minute.

01:04:24.240 --> 01:04:28.840
Nothing.<01:04:24.760> It<01:04:24.800> was<01:04:24.920> like<01:04:25.120> no<01:04:25.360> thought.<01:04:26.080> It<01:04:26.160> was<01:04:26.280> very<01:04:26.440> strange,<01:04:26.920> very<01:04:27.160> empty.

01:04:28.840 --> 01:04:36.000
Caught<01:04:29.160> my<01:04:29.280> breath<01:04:29.720> and<01:04:29.880> sat<01:04:30.120> up<01:04:30.240> again,<01:04:30.640> tried<01:04:30.880> to<01:04:30.960> get<01:04:31.120> off<01:04:31.280> the<01:04:31.360> floor,<01:04:31.720> and<01:04:31.800> this<01:04:31.960> time<01:04:32.520> I<01:04:32.560> used<01:04:32.800> the<01:04:32.920> sink<01:04:33.440> to<01:04:33.480> help<01:04:33.640> me<01:04:33.760> more<01:04:34.040> to,<01:04:34.760> um,<01:04:35.360> to<01:04:35.480> get<01:04:35.680> up.

01:04:36.000 --> 01:04:40.120
I<01:04:36.080> stood<01:04:36.480> up.<01:04:36.640> And<01:04:36.760> when<01:04:36.920> I<01:04:37.000> stood<01:04:37.400> up,<01:04:38.320> there's<01:04:38.760> the<01:04:38.840> mirror<01:04:39.320> right<01:04:39.560> there.

01:04:40.120 --> 01:04:47.960
And<01:04:40.240> I'm<01:04:40.360> looking<01:04:40.640> into<01:04:40.880> the<01:04:40.960> mirror.<01:04:41.920> And<01:04:42.120> I'm<01:04:42.280> looking<01:04:42.640> at<01:04:42.760> the<01:04:42.880> same<01:04:43.440> spot<01:04:44.720> that<01:04:45.000> 3<01:04:45.240> hours<01:04:45.560> earlier<01:04:46.000> I'd<01:04:46.760> gone<01:04:47.080> out.

01:04:47.960 --> 01:04:51.240
And<01:04:48.120> I'm<01:04:48.280> looking<01:04:48.640> in<01:04:48.720> the<01:04:48.800> same<01:04:49.200> eyes,<01:04:49.400> and<01:04:49.520> the<01:04:49.680> eyes<01:04:49.960> are<01:04:50.080> forward.

01:04:51.240 --> 01:04:55.280
The<01:04:51.360> face<01:04:51.720> is<01:04:51.920> filled<01:04:52.360> in.<01:04:53.000> I've<01:04:53.080> got<01:04:53.240> a<01:04:53.280> little<01:04:53.480> bit<01:04:53.640> of<01:04:53.720> color<01:04:54.080> in<01:04:54.160> my<01:04:54.280> cheeks.

01:04:55.280 --> 01:04:59.040
And<01:04:55.480> I<01:04:55.600> stared<01:04:56.240> at<01:04:56.360> myself.<01:04:57.480> I<01:04:57.600> just<01:04:57.880> stared<01:04:58.280> at<01:04:58.400> myself.

01:04:59.040 --> 01:05:02.520
Like,<01:04:59.280> what's,<01:05:00.000> what's<01:05:00.320> going<01:05:00.560> on?

01:05:02.520 --> 01:05:06.160
And<01:05:02.680> I<01:05:02.720> didn't<01:05:02.920> know<01:05:03.000> what<01:05:03.120> to<01:05:03.240> do<01:05:03.440> in<01:05:03.560> that<01:05:03.720> moment.<01:05:04.080> I<01:05:04.160> just,<01:05:04.520> it,<01:05:04.880> it<01:05:05.000> seemed<01:05:05.240> like<01:05:05.400> forever.

01:05:06.160 --> 01:05:13.200
I<01:05:06.393> don't<01:05:06.626> know<01:05:06.859> how<01:05:07.092> long<01:05:07.326> I<01:05:07.559> was<01:05:07.792> staring<01:05:08.025> at<01:05:08.258> myself.<01:05:08.491> [gasps<01:05:08.724> and<01:05:08.957> sighs]<01:05:09.190> But<01:05:09.423> I,<01:05:09.657> I<01:05:09.890> to<01:05:10.123> walk<01:05:10.356> out<01:05:10.589> of<01:05:10.822> the<01:05:11.055> bathroom,<01:05:11.288> and<01:05:11.521> I<01:05:11.754> noticed,<01:05:11.988> well,<01:05:12.221> my<01:05:12.454> leg<01:05:12.687> was<01:05:12.920> working

01:05:13.200 --> 01:05:20.880
again.<01:05:13.720> My<01:05:13.840> right<01:05:14.080> leg,<01:05:14.280> I<01:05:14.320> was<01:05:14.440> no<01:05:14.560> longer<01:05:14.800> dragging<01:05:15.280> it,<01:05:15.360> and<01:05:15.480> I<01:05:15.520> could<01:05:15.680> feel<01:05:15.880> my<01:05:16.000> legs,<01:05:16.360> I<01:05:16.400> could<01:05:16.560> feel<01:05:16.720> my<01:05:16.920> arms,<01:05:17.240> and<01:05:17.360> like,<01:05:17.600> I<01:05:17.640> still<01:05:17.920> felt<01:05:18.240> awful,<01:05:18.800> but<01:05:19.280> I<01:05:19.360> could<01:05:19.520> move.

01:05:20.880 --> 01:05:24.800
And<01:05:20.960> then<01:05:21.080> I<01:05:21.160> walked<01:05:21.520> into<01:05:21.760> the<01:05:21.840> bedroom<01:05:22.240> to<01:05:22.360> see<01:05:22.480> what<01:05:22.600> my<01:05:22.720> dog<01:05:23.040> was<01:05:23.200> doing.

01:05:24.800 --> 01:05:28.440
I<01:05:24.880> figured<01:05:25.240> he<01:05:25.320> would<01:05:25.440> have<01:05:25.520> got<01:05:25.720> off<01:05:25.880> the<01:05:25.960> bed<01:05:26.200> if<01:05:26.360> I<01:05:26.400> was<01:05:26.600> laying<01:05:26.840> there<01:05:26.960> on<01:05:27.080> the<01:05:27.160> floor<01:05:27.640> for<01:05:27.840> 3<01:05:28.160> hours.

01:05:28.440 --> 01:05:35.720
He<01:05:28.520> never<01:05:28.720> got<01:05:28.880> off<01:05:29.000> the<01:05:29.080> bed,<01:05:29.320> the<01:05:29.400> lazy<01:05:29.720> lump.<01:05:30.880> And<01:05:31.000> I<01:05:31.080> walked<01:05:31.400> in<01:05:31.520> there,<01:05:31.840> and<01:05:31.960> he<01:05:32.080> just<01:05:32.320> turned,<01:05:32.840> he<01:05:32.960> was<01:05:33.280> facing<01:05:33.960> the<01:05:34.120> wall,<01:05:34.480> the<01:05:34.600> other<01:05:34.800> wall.

01:05:35.720 --> 01:05:42.480
And<01:05:35.880> when<01:05:36.000> he<01:05:36.080> heard<01:05:36.320> me<01:05:36.480> walk<01:05:36.800> into<01:05:37.080> the<01:05:37.160> bedroom,<01:05:37.600> he<01:05:37.840> looked<01:05:38.320> over<01:05:38.640> his<01:05:38.880> body<01:05:39.320> at<01:05:39.560> me,<01:05:39.680> and<01:05:39.800> he<01:05:40.000> gave<01:05:40.120> me<01:05:40.240> the<01:05:40.400> most<01:05:40.760> eerie<01:05:41.120> look.

01:05:42.480 --> 01:05:45.560
Like<01:05:42.680> he<01:05:42.800> didn't<01:05:43.160> recognize<01:05:43.760> me.<01:05:44.360> I'll<01:05:44.520> never<01:05:44.840> forget<01:05:45.160> that<01:05:45.360> look.

01:05:45.560 --> 01:05:49.160
He's<01:05:45.818> passed<01:05:46.077> now,<01:05:46.335> he's<01:05:46.594> gone,<01:05:46.852> but<01:05:47.111> I<01:05:47.369> will<01:05:47.628> never<01:05:47.886> [clears<01:05:48.145> throat]<01:05:48.403> forget<01:05:48.662> that<01:05:48.920> look.

01:05:49.160 --> 01:05:56.760
He<01:05:49.440> was<01:05:49.960> my<01:05:50.720> baby,<01:05:51.720> that<01:05:52.000> dog,<01:05:52.600> and<01:05:52.840> he<01:05:53.160> always<01:05:53.720> looked<01:05:53.960> at<01:05:54.160> me<01:05:54.360> with<01:05:54.600> nothing<01:05:55.120> but<01:05:55.760> eyes<01:05:56.080> of<01:05:56.280> love.

01:05:56.760 --> 01:06:01.400
And<01:05:57.000> in<01:05:57.160> that<01:05:57.400> moment,<01:05:58.480> it<01:05:58.560> was<01:05:58.720> almost<01:05:59.040> like<01:05:59.200> there<01:05:59.320> was<01:05:59.440> a<01:05:59.520> touch<01:05:59.840> of<01:05:59.960> fear<01:06:00.280> in<01:06:00.400> him.

01:06:01.400 --> 01:06:05.160
It<01:06:01.520> was<01:06:01.640> like<01:06:01.800> he<01:06:01.920> didn't<01:06:02.280> really<01:06:02.520> recognize<01:06:03.080> me,<01:06:03.240> and<01:06:03.360> he,<01:06:03.720> he<01:06:03.880> saw<01:06:04.120> through<01:06:04.520> me.

01:06:05.160 --> 01:06:10.920
It<01:06:05.373> looked<01:06:05.587> like<01:06:05.800> he<01:06:06.013> was<01:06:06.227> looking<01:06:06.440> through<01:06:06.653> me.<01:06:06.867> [sighs<01:06:07.080> and<01:06:07.293> gasps]<01:06:07.507> And<01:06:07.720> I,<01:06:07.933> I<01:06:08.147> looked<01:06:08.360> at<01:06:08.573> him,<01:06:08.787> I<01:06:09.000> said,<01:06:09.213> "What's<01:06:09.427> your<01:06:09.640> problem?"

01:06:10.920 --> 01:06:18.520
And<01:06:11.080> then<01:06:11.160> I<01:06:11.240> turned<01:06:11.520> around,<01:06:12.080> and<01:06:12.200> I<01:06:12.320> walked<01:06:13.040> out<01:06:13.280> to<01:06:13.360> the<01:06:13.480> kitchen,<01:06:14.080> and<01:06:14.200> I'm<01:06:14.520> just<01:06:14.840> slowly<01:06:15.320> trudging<01:06:15.720> along<01:06:16.080> and<01:06:16.360> just<01:06:16.640> to<01:06:16.720> make<01:06:16.880> his<01:06:17.040> breakfast.

01:06:18.520 --> 01:06:25.200
And<01:06:18.640> the<01:06:18.760> weirdest<01:06:19.200> thing,<01:06:19.560> which<01:06:19.760> I<01:06:19.840> know<01:06:20.040> is<01:06:20.200> part<01:06:20.440> of<01:06:20.520> the<01:06:20.640> experience,<01:06:21.200> is<01:06:21.320> for<01:06:21.480> 2<01:06:21.680> weeks,<01:06:22.000> I<01:06:22.040> was<01:06:22.200> sleeping<01:06:22.560> with<01:06:22.720> my<01:06:22.880> phone<01:06:23.240> pre-dialed<01:06:23.920> on<01:06:24.000> 911<01:06:24.600> with<01:06:24.760> my<01:06:24.880> front

01:06:25.200 --> 01:06:28.440
door<01:06:25.480> unlocked<01:06:26.080> in<01:06:26.160> case<01:06:26.480> I<01:06:26.600> collapsed<01:06:27.080> again.

01:06:28.440 --> 01:06:35.680
I<01:06:28.600> was<01:06:28.760> like<01:06:29.000> monitoring<01:06:29.640> my<01:06:29.760> breath,<01:06:30.120> monitoring<01:06:30.640> my<01:06:30.800> body<01:06:31.120> temperature,<01:06:31.520> taking<01:06:31.840> my<01:06:32.000> blood<01:06:32.280> pressure<01:06:32.640> every<01:06:32.880> half<01:06:33.200> hour<01:06:33.480> on<01:06:33.560> the<01:06:33.720> hour<01:06:33.960> for<01:06:34.120> 2<01:06:34.320> weeks.

01:06:35.680 --> 01:06:39.920
And<01:06:35.840> I'm<01:06:36.000> walking<01:06:36.360> around<01:06:36.720> going,<01:06:38.240> no<01:06:38.520> desire<01:06:39.000> to<01:06:39.080> call<01:06:39.320> anybody.

01:06:39.920 --> 01:06:43.240
Like<01:06:40.080> it<01:06:40.200> never<01:06:40.520> even<01:06:40.680> crossed<01:06:41.040> my<01:06:41.160> mind.<01:06:41.440> Like,<01:06:41.640> "Oh,<01:06:41.800> maybe<01:06:42.120> you<01:06:42.200> should<01:06:42.360> seek<01:06:42.560> medical<01:06:43.000> help."

01:06:43.240 --> 01:06:49.680
Like<01:06:43.480> nothing,<01:06:44.160> zero.<01:06:45.840> And<01:06:45.960> I<01:06:46.040> went<01:06:46.280> into<01:06:46.520> the<01:06:46.880> kitchen<01:06:47.280> and<01:06:47.400> made<01:06:47.640> his<01:06:47.840> breakfast<01:06:48.400> and<01:06:48.520> called<01:06:48.760> him<01:06:48.960> out,<01:06:49.200> and<01:06:49.280> he<01:06:49.480> ate.

01:06:49.680 --> 01:06:52.840
And<01:06:49.760> then<01:06:49.880> I<01:06:49.920> sat<01:06:50.160> down<01:06:50.360> on<01:06:50.400> the<01:06:50.520> couch<01:06:50.880> for<01:06:51.000> like<01:06:51.200> 3<01:06:51.640> hours.

01:06:52.840 --> 01:06:56.080
And<01:06:52.960> I<01:06:53.000> just<01:06:53.280> sat<01:06:53.520> there.<01:06:53.720> No<01:06:53.920> TV<01:06:54.400> on,<01:06:54.680> no<01:06:54.920> music,<01:06:55.520> nothing.

01:06:56.080 --> 01:06:59.720
And<01:06:56.200> it<01:06:56.280> was<01:06:56.400> like<01:06:56.640> I<01:06:56.720> was<01:06:56.920> not<01:06:57.240> here.<01:06:58.040> It<01:06:58.080> was<01:06:58.200> like<01:06:58.360> I<01:06:58.560> still<01:06:58.960> had<01:06:59.200> one<01:06:59.440> leg.

01:06:59.720 --> 01:07:04.160
I<01:06:59.800> started<01:07:00.200> replaying<01:07:00.760> this<01:07:00.920> experience.<01:07:01.520> I<01:07:01.560> had<01:07:01.720> one<01:07:01.920> leg<01:07:02.120> there,<01:07:02.400> and<01:07:02.520> I<01:07:02.560> had<01:07:02.720> one<01:07:02.920> leg<01:07:03.120> here.

01:07:04.160 --> 01:07:09.600
And<01:07:04.280> I<01:07:04.320> could<01:07:04.520> feel<01:07:04.960> everything.<01:07:05.560> I<01:07:05.640> could<01:07:05.800> feel<01:07:06.080> like<01:07:06.240> with<01:07:06.360> the<01:07:06.440> cut,<01:07:06.840> the<01:07:07.320> couch<01:07:07.760> was<01:07:07.960> hugging<01:07:08.440> me<01:07:08.560> like<01:07:08.760> it<01:07:08.880> was<01:07:09.000> alive.

01:07:09.600 --> 01:07:11.560
I<01:07:09.640> could<01:07:09.840> feel<01:07:10.000> the<01:07:10.160> walls<01:07:10.880> felt<01:07:11.120> alive.

01:07:11.560 --> 01:07:15.520
The<01:07:11.680> sun<01:07:12.800> coming<01:07:13.080> through<01:07:13.200> the<01:07:13.320> windows<01:07:13.840> felt<01:07:14.080> alive.

01:07:15.520 --> 01:07:20.600
Um,<01:07:15.752> so<01:07:15.984> at<01:07:16.216> this<01:07:16.448> point,<01:07:16.680> did<01:07:16.912> you<01:07:17.144> actually<01:07:17.376> start<01:07:17.608> remembering<01:07:17.840> everything<01:07:18.072> you<01:07:18.304> had<01:07:18.536> just<01:07:18.768> been<01:07:19.000> through<01:07:19.232> with<01:07:19.464> that<01:07:19.696> whole<01:07:19.928> near-death<01:07:20.160> experience?

01:07:20.600 --> 01:07:23.720
It,<01:07:20.920> it's<01:07:21.080> not<01:07:21.200> like<01:07:21.360> it<01:07:21.480> took<01:07:21.640> you<01:07:21.760> weeks<01:07:22.040> before<01:07:22.560> it<01:07:22.880> came<01:07:23.160> to<01:07:23.360> you.

01:07:23.720 --> 01:07:29.200
You<01:07:23.880> realized,<01:07:24.240> "Holy<01:07:24.520> mackerel,<01:07:24.880> I<01:07:24.960> just<01:07:25.160> went<01:07:25.360> through<01:07:25.520> this<01:07:25.720> whole<01:07:25.880> thing<01:07:26.160> when<01:07:26.280> there<01:07:26.400> was<01:07:26.520> this<01:07:26.720> being<01:07:27.040> and<01:07:27.160> there<01:07:27.240> was<01:07:27.360> a<01:07:27.440> field<01:07:27.800> that<01:07:27.920> looked<01:07:28.080> like<01:07:28.280> Ireland."

01:07:29.200 --> 01:07:31.040
That<01:07:29.360> was<01:07:29.520> all<01:07:29.640> coming<01:07:29.960> to<01:07:30.080> you<01:07:30.240> now.<01:07:30.720> Yeah.

01:07:31.040 --> 01:07:35.560
The<01:07:31.160> strange<01:07:31.640> thing<01:07:31.800> is<01:07:31.920> I<01:07:32.000> didn't<01:07:32.280> know<01:07:32.400> what<01:07:32.520> it<01:07:32.640> was,<01:07:32.880> cuz<01:07:33.040> I<01:07:33.120> didn't<01:07:33.360> know<01:07:33.520> what<01:07:33.640> a<01:07:33.680> near-death<01:07:34.120> experience<01:07:34.680> was.

01:07:35.560 --> 01:07:39.480
I<01:07:35.640> was<01:07:35.840> not<01:07:36.040> spiritual.<01:07:36.400> I<01:07:36.440> was<01:07:36.600> like,<01:07:37.000> "What<01:07:37.480> the<01:07:37.720> hell<01:07:38.360> just<01:07:38.640> happened?"

01:07:39.480 --> 01:07:45.480
And<01:07:39.600> I<01:07:39.640> had<01:07:39.800> done<01:07:40.000> psychedelics<01:07:40.640> in<01:07:40.760> college.<01:07:41.280> I<01:07:41.320> mean,<01:07:41.560> I<01:07:41.600> had<01:07:41.840> some<01:07:42.120> wild<01:07:42.680> trips,<01:07:43.080> and<01:07:43.200> I'm<01:07:43.280> thinking<01:07:43.680> this<01:07:43.920> is<01:07:44.160> far<01:07:44.640> beyond<01:07:44.960> that.

01:07:45.480 --> 01:07:48.080
It<01:07:46.040> felt<01:07:46.480> way<01:07:46.720> different.<01:07:47.720> Yeah.

01:07:48.080 --> 01:07:51.400
And<01:07:48.800> I<01:07:48.880> was<01:07:49.000> just<01:07:49.200> sitting<01:07:49.480> there<01:07:49.640> just<01:07:49.840> trying<01:07:50.200> to<01:07:50.360> resolve<01:07:50.880> it.

01:07:51.400 --> 01:07:53.680
Just<01:07:51.640> trying,<01:07:52.040> what<01:07:52.200> do<01:07:52.320> I<01:07:52.440> do<01:07:52.680> with<01:07:52.800> this?<01:07:53.000> What<01:07:53.120> do<01:07:53.200> I<01:07:53.240> make<01:07:53.480> of<01:07:53.560> it?

01:07:53.680 --> 01:07:58.120
And<01:07:53.800> I<01:07:53.840> had<01:07:54.080> this<01:07:54.320> overwhelming<01:07:55.040> feeling<01:07:55.400> of<01:07:55.560> love<01:07:55.960> I<01:07:56.080> could<01:07:56.720> not<01:07:57.360> place.

01:07:58.120 --> 01:08:06.600
It<01:07:58.360> was<01:07:58.520> just<01:07:58.840> so<01:07:59.080> foreign<01:07:59.760> to<01:07:59.920> me<01:08:01.080> to<01:08:01.240> who<01:08:01.480> I<01:08:01.560> was<01:08:01.880> 3<01:08:02.200> hours<01:08:02.480> earlier,<01:08:02.960> and<01:08:03.160> I'm<01:08:03.240> just<01:08:04.120> like<01:08:05.200> oozing<01:08:05.880> love,<01:08:06.320> like

01:08:06.600 --> 01:08:09.000
out<01:08:06.760> of<01:08:06.840> my<01:08:07.000> chest<01:08:07.400> from<01:08:07.640> thinking<01:08:08.040> about<01:08:08.320> the<01:08:08.440> neighbors.

01:08:09.000 --> 01:08:12.840
I<01:08:09.080> love<01:08:09.400> them.<01:08:09.720> I'm<01:08:09.840> thinking<01:08:10.160> about<01:08:10.440> the<01:08:10.520> neighbors<01:08:10.880> two<01:08:11.040> doors<01:08:11.360> down<01:08:12.200> that<01:08:12.320> I<01:08:12.400> hate.

01:08:12.840 --> 01:08:15.400
I<01:08:12.920> love<01:08:13.240> them.<01:08:13.720> I'm<01:08:13.880> thinking<01:08:14.160> about<01:08:14.400> how<01:08:14.520> much<01:08:14.760> I<01:08:14.800> love<01:08:15.040> my<01:08:15.160> dog.

01:08:15.400 --> 01:08:23.759
I'm<01:08:15.520> just<01:08:15.720> like<01:08:15.960> tearing<01:08:16.480> up<01:08:16.720> in<01:08:16.880> love<01:08:17.960> sitting<01:08:18.319> in<01:08:18.400> the<01:08:18.480> space,<01:08:19.040> and<01:08:19.160> it's<01:08:19.359> like<01:08:21.319> I<01:08:21.480> lived<01:08:21.799> like<01:08:22.000> that<01:08:22.160> for<01:08:22.240> the<01:08:22.319> next<01:08:22.560> 3<01:08:22.799> days.

01:08:23.759 --> 01:08:32.319
I<01:08:23.880> literally<01:08:24.440> just<01:08:25.000> did<01:08:25.400> nothing<01:08:26.440> but<01:08:26.680> sit<01:08:27.080> in<01:08:27.200> a<01:08:27.279> quiet<01:08:27.960> house<01:08:28.400> with<01:08:28.640> nothing<01:08:29.319> on,<01:08:30.440> just<01:08:31.160> experiencing<01:08:32.200> the

01:08:32.319 --> 01:08:36.480
experience<01:08:33.000> like<01:08:33.240> I<01:08:33.279> was<01:08:33.520> still<01:08:33.759> there.<01:08:34.920> So<01:08:35.040> you<01:08:35.120> still<01:08:35.319> didn't<01:08:35.520> go<01:08:35.640> to<01:08:35.720> the<01:08:35.799> hospital<01:08:36.240> or<01:08:36.279> anything?

01:08:36.480 --> 01:08:38.720
You<01:08:36.560> just<01:08:36.759> sat<01:08:36.960> there<01:08:37.080> for<01:08:37.200> a<01:08:37.279> few<01:08:37.480> days?<01:08:37.680> I<01:08:37.759> had,<01:08:38.040> you<01:08:38.120> know,<01:08:38.240> it's<01:08:38.359> funny.

01:08:38.720 --> 01:08:45.560
I<01:08:38.799> had<01:08:38.960> a<01:08:39.000> doctor<01:08:39.400> appointment<01:08:39.880> scheduled<01:08:40.319> for<01:08:40.440> like<01:08:40.640> 4<01:08:40.960> days<01:08:41.319> after<01:08:41.560> the<01:08:41.680> event,<01:08:42.480> and<01:08:42.680> when<01:08:42.799> I<01:08:42.920> walked<01:08:43.359> to<01:08:43.440> the<01:08:43.520> kitchen<01:08:43.920> to<01:08:44.040> make<01:08:44.200> his<01:08:44.400> breakfast,<01:08:44.880> I<01:08:44.920> said,<01:08:45.240> "I<01:08:45.319> guess

01:08:45.560 --> 01:08:48.720
I'm<01:08:45.680> good.<01:08:46.000> I'm<01:08:46.080> no<01:08:46.240> longer<01:08:46.600> yellow."<01:08:47.880> My<01:08:48.080> brother.

01:08:48.720 --> 01:08:52.440
Um,<01:08:49.279> my<01:08:49.520> leg<01:08:49.839> is<01:08:50.000> working.<01:08:50.400> I'm<01:08:50.480> like,<01:08:50.720> "Yeah,<01:08:51.040> I'll<01:08:51.200> wait<01:08:51.400> till<01:08:51.520> the<01:08:51.600> appointment."

01:08:52.440 --> 01:09:00.520
And<01:08:52.960> no,<01:08:53.359> nothing,<01:08:53.759> which<01:08:53.960> is,<01:08:54.839> I<01:08:54.920> know,<01:08:55.160> was<01:08:55.359> part<01:08:55.560> of<01:08:55.640> the<01:08:55.680> experience<01:08:56.200> because<01:08:56.640> I<01:08:56.880> was<01:08:58.200> like<01:08:58.600> literally<01:08:59.880> at,<01:09:00.279> at<01:09:00.440> a

01:09:00.520 --> 01:09:02.759
button.<01:09:00.839> I<01:09:00.920> was<01:09:01.120> sit<01:09:01.359> on<01:09:01.440> the<01:09:01.640> couch<01:09:02.000> like<01:09:02.160> this.

01:09:02.759 --> 01:09:09.480
I'd<01:09:02.880> have<01:09:03.000> the<01:09:03.080> blood<01:09:03.400> pressure<01:09:03.759> machine<01:09:04.160> going.<01:09:04.920> I'd<01:09:05.120> be<01:09:05.279> having<01:09:05.640> trouble<01:09:06.000> breathing,<01:09:06.560> and<01:09:06.680> I'd<01:09:06.799> be<01:09:06.920> sitting<01:09:07.240> there<01:09:07.400> with<01:09:07.560> the<01:09:07.680> phone<01:09:08.040> like<01:09:08.200> this.

01:09:09.480 --> 01:09:15.560
Getting<01:09:09.680> ready<01:09:09.920> to<01:09:10.080> dial<01:09:10.359> 911.<01:09:10.920> Ready<01:09:11.160> to<01:09:11.279> push<01:09:11.520> the<01:09:11.600> button<01:09:11.880> because<01:09:12.240> if<01:09:12.319> my<01:09:12.480> breathing<01:09:12.880> gets<01:09:13.120> worse,<01:09:13.560> I'm<01:09:13.680> like,<01:09:13.920> I'm<01:09:14.040> in<01:09:14.160> trouble.

01:09:15.560 --> 01:09:17.920
And,<01:09:16.279> um,<01:09:16.720> no,<01:09:17.160> nothing.

01:09:17.920 --> 01:09:26.880
Like<01:09:18.200> no,<01:09:18.839> no<01:09:19.120> desire<01:09:19.720> for<01:09:19.839> medical<01:09:20.279> help,<01:09:20.640> no<01:09:21.000> worry,<01:09:22.200> no<01:09:22.480> like,<01:09:22.920> "Hey<01:09:23.120> dude,<01:09:23.600> you,<01:09:24.000> you<01:09:24.200> were<01:09:24.720> gone<01:09:25.480> on<01:09:25.680> a<01:09:25.759> bathroom<01:09:26.400> floor

01:09:26.880 --> 01:09:35.400
for<01:09:27.120> 3<01:09:27.440> hours."<01:09:27.839> Like<01:09:28.759> I<01:09:28.960> fell<01:09:29.400> for<01:09:29.640> literally<01:09:30.160> a<01:09:30.240> split<01:09:30.720> second,<01:09:31.279> collapsed<01:09:31.880> face<01:09:32.240> first<01:09:32.560> down<01:09:32.880> in<01:09:33.000> a<01:09:33.040> grocery<01:09:33.480> store,<01:09:33.839> caught<01:09:34.080> myself<01:09:34.440> before<01:09:34.680> I<01:09:34.759> smashed<01:09:35.240> my

01:09:35.400 --> 01:09:39.920
face,<01:09:36.440> and<01:09:36.600> that<01:09:36.839> was<01:09:37.000> enough<01:09:37.319> for<01:09:37.440> me<01:09:37.560> to<01:09:37.720> beeline<01:09:38.480> for<01:09:38.600> the<01:09:38.720> emergency<01:09:39.279> room.

01:09:39.920 --> 01:09:42.319
And<01:09:40.080> here<01:09:40.520> I<01:09:40.600> know<01:09:40.920> that<01:09:41.120> I've<01:09:41.200> been<01:09:41.359> gone<01:09:41.600> for<01:09:41.720> 3<01:09:42.000> hours.

01:09:42.319 --> 01:09:48.839
I<01:09:42.359> know<01:09:42.520> my<01:09:42.680> body<01:09:43.000> temperature<01:09:43.359> is<01:09:43.480> 94°<01:09:45.440> and<01:09:45.600> I'm<01:09:45.720> like,<01:09:46.279> "Oh<01:09:46.440> well,<01:09:47.160> like<01:09:47.759> what<01:09:47.920> a<01:09:47.960> beautiful<01:09:48.440> day."

01:09:48.839 --> 01:09:56.640
It<01:09:49.000> was<01:09:49.160> the<01:09:49.279> strangest<01:09:49.799> experience.<01:09:50.319> I<01:09:50.400> still<01:09:50.680> can't<01:09:51.520> resolve<01:09:52.120> it<01:09:52.240> completely<01:09:52.960> other<01:09:53.240> than<01:09:53.440> it<01:09:53.600> was<01:09:53.839> part<01:09:54.320> of<01:09:54.480> the<01:09:54.600> experience<01:09:55.200> which<01:09:55.400> I<01:09:55.480> wasn't<01:09:55.920> supposed<01:09:56.320> to<01:09:56.400> call.

01:09:56.640 --> 01:10:03.760
I<01:09:56.720> wasn't<01:09:56.920> supposed<01:09:57.160> to<01:09:57.200> do<01:09:57.360> anything.<01:09:58.760> Before<01:09:59.000> we<01:09:59.080> get<01:09:59.360> any<01:09:59.600> further,<01:10:00.280> um,<01:10:00.840> I<01:10:00.960> warned<01:10:01.240> you<01:10:01.320> by<01:10:01.480> email<01:10:01.760> that<01:10:01.960> I<01:10:02.040> had<01:10:02.200> a<01:10:02.240> skeptical<01:10:03.240> question.

01:10:03.760 --> 01:10:12.040
So,<01:10:03.880> I'm<01:10:03.960> going<01:10:04.080> to<01:10:04.160> ask<01:10:04.400> that<01:10:04.640> now,<01:10:04.920> and<01:10:05.360> I<01:10:05.440> want<01:10:05.680> the<01:10:05.800> audience<01:10:06.120> to<01:10:06.200> understand<01:10:06.680> that<01:10:06.800> I<01:10:06.880> mean<01:10:07.080> no<01:10:07.200> disrespect,<01:10:08.480> and<01:10:08.760> I<01:10:08.840> actually<01:10:09.680> think<01:10:10.000> that<01:10:10.480> it<01:10:10.640> may<01:10:10.800> help<01:10:11.040> you<01:10:11.200> to<01:10:11.560> discuss

01:10:12.040 --> 01:10:20.560
this<01:10:12.240> a<01:10:12.320> little<01:10:12.600> bit.<01:10:13.240> But,<01:10:13.600> um,<01:10:14.240> you<01:10:14.320> know,<01:10:14.600> medically<01:10:15.040> speaking,<01:10:15.920> if<01:10:16.200> you're,<01:10:16.640> if<01:10:16.760> you<01:10:16.840> stop<01:10:17.280> breathing<01:10:17.920> and<01:10:18.240> your<01:10:18.360> heart<01:10:18.560> stops<01:10:18.920> beating<01:10:19.520> for<01:10:20.320> 10

01:10:20.560 --> 01:10:23.680
minutes,<01:10:20.960> you<01:10:21.080> pretty<01:10:21.360> much<01:10:21.640> have<01:10:21.880> irreversible<01:10:22.600> brain<01:10:22.920> damage.

01:10:23.680 --> 01:10:31.760
I<01:10:23.760> think<01:10:24.040> the<01:10:24.200> longest<01:10:24.800> that<01:10:24.960> anyone<01:10:25.320> has<01:10:25.480> recovered<01:10:25.920> from<01:10:26.080> such<01:10:26.360> a<01:10:26.400> thing<01:10:26.680> is<01:10:27.360> like<01:10:27.520> some<01:10:27.760> kid<01:10:28.040> who<01:10:28.240> was<01:10:28.440> in<01:10:28.680> icy,<01:10:29.120> icy<01:10:29.480> water,<01:10:30.360> and<01:10:30.760> the,<01:10:30.920> the,<01:10:31.240> the,<01:10:31.680> the

01:10:31.760 --> 01:10:37.360
really<01:10:32.040> cold<01:10:32.320> temperature<01:10:32.760> kept<01:10:33.080> him<01:10:33.200> from<01:10:33.400> having<01:10:33.920> serious<01:10:34.360> brain<01:10:34.640> damage,<01:10:35.000> and<01:10:35.080> he<01:10:35.160> was<01:10:35.320> under<01:10:35.600> there<01:10:35.760> for<01:10:35.880> nearly<01:10:36.240> half<01:10:36.480> an<01:10:36.640> hour.

01:10:37.360 --> 01:10:45.640
But<01:10:37.520> 3<01:10:37.840> hours,<01:10:38.640> if<01:10:38.960> I<01:10:39.080> don't<01:10:39.360> think<01:10:39.600> there's<01:10:39.800> a<01:10:39.880> doctor<01:10:40.280> on<01:10:40.400> the<01:10:40.480> planet<01:10:40.920> that<01:10:41.040> you<01:10:41.120> would<01:10:41.240> be<01:10:41.360> able<01:10:41.520> to<01:10:41.640> convince<01:10:42.240> that<01:10:42.440> you<01:10:42.640> had<01:10:43.200> been<01:10:44.160> in<01:10:44.320> a<01:10:44.360> state<01:10:44.680> of<01:10:44.800> no<01:10:45.080> heartbeat,

01:10:45.640 --> 01:10:50.640
no<01:10:45.840> breath<01:10:46.640> for<01:10:46.800> 3<01:10:47.040> hours<01:10:47.680> and<01:10:47.840> not<01:10:48.040> be<01:10:48.360> dead<01:10:48.720> dead<01:10:49.080> instead<01:10:49.480> of<01:10:49.680> near<01:10:49.920> dead.

01:10:50.640 --> 01:10:53.640
And<01:10:51.240> I'll<01:10:51.480> just<01:10:51.640> say<01:10:51.760> one<01:10:52.040> more,<01:10:52.280> one<01:10:52.480> or<01:10:52.560> two<01:10:52.680> more<01:10:52.880> little<01:10:53.080> things<01:10:53.360> here.

01:10:53.640 --> 01:10:58.840
Um,<01:10:54.280> you<01:10:54.360> know,<01:10:54.960> you<01:10:55.200> came<01:10:55.560> out<01:10:55.720> of,<01:10:55.920> you<01:10:56.040> were<01:10:56.160> completely<01:10:56.560> unaware<01:10:56.840> of<01:10:56.920> your<01:10:57.040> body<01:10:57.520> during<01:10:57.760> this<01:10:57.920> whole<01:10:58.080> 3<01:10:58.280> hours.

01:10:58.840 --> 01:11:06.640
And<01:10:58.960> when<01:10:59.080> you<01:10:59.320> began<01:10:59.760> to<01:10:59.880> be<01:11:00.000> aware<01:11:00.280> of<01:11:00.400> your<01:11:00.520> body,<01:11:00.840> you<01:11:00.920> had<01:11:01.120> the<01:11:01.200> subjective<01:11:01.840> experience<01:11:02.440> that<01:11:02.600> your<01:11:02.760> heart<01:11:03.120> was<01:11:03.360> now<01:11:03.560> starting<01:11:04.120> after<01:11:04.480> having<01:11:05.320> not<01:11:05.640> beaten,<01:11:06.440> but

01:11:06.640 --> 01:11:09.360
you<01:11:06.760> don't<01:11:06.920> know<01:11:07.160> for<01:11:07.360> sure<01:11:07.720> if<01:11:07.920> it<01:11:08.040> had<01:11:08.200> beaten<01:11:08.520> for<01:11:08.640> 3<01:11:08.920> hours.

01:11:09.360 --> 01:11:14.400
And<01:11:09.520> you<01:11:09.600> were<01:11:09.680> starting<01:11:10.000> to<01:11:10.120> breathe,<01:11:10.760> but<01:11:10.960> you<01:11:11.000> don't<01:11:11.160> know<01:11:11.320> for<01:11:11.480> sure<01:11:11.760> if<01:11:11.880> you<01:11:12.000> weren't<01:11:12.280> breathing<01:11:13.120> during<01:11:13.400> those<01:11:13.640> 3<01:11:13.920> hours.

01:11:14.400 --> 01:11:17.080
It<01:11:14.520> just<01:11:14.760> seemed<01:11:15.200> like<01:11:15.480> they<01:11:15.640> were<01:11:15.760> starting<01:11:16.240> up<01:11:16.400> again.

01:11:17.080 --> 01:11:25.040
But<01:11:17.240> it<01:11:17.320> could<01:11:17.480> be<01:11:17.640> that<01:11:17.800> they<01:11:17.920> had<01:11:18.120> been<01:11:18.280> going<01:11:18.640> maybe<01:11:18.960> in<01:11:19.280> you<01:11:19.360> know<01:11:19.920> you<01:11:20.000> know<01:11:20.480> awkward<01:11:20.920> sort<01:11:21.160> of<01:11:21.400> jerky<01:11:21.840> way,<01:11:22.080> but<01:11:22.320> they<01:11:22.840> they<01:11:22.920> got<01:11:23.120> to<01:11:23.200> have<01:11:23.360> been<01:11:23.560> going<01:11:24.360> or<01:11:24.600> you<01:11:24.800> wouldn't

01:11:25.040 --> 01:11:28.240
be<01:11:25.240> having<01:11:25.520> this<01:11:25.680> conversation<01:11:26.360> with<01:11:26.560> me.

01:11:28.240 --> 01:11:31.040
Yeah,<01:11:28.520> from<01:11:28.760> a<01:11:28.800> medical<01:11:29.200> standpoint<01:11:29.680> it<01:11:29.760> makes<01:11:29.960> zero<01:11:30.200> sense.

01:11:31.040 --> 01:11:34.600
None.<01:11:31.760> And<01:11:31.880> there<01:11:32.000> are<01:11:32.080> two<01:11:32.600> two<01:11:32.880> others<01:11:33.400> that<01:11:33.560> have<01:11:33.840> me<01:11:34.040> beat.

01:11:34.600 --> 01:11:37.600
One<01:11:34.800> at<01:11:34.920> five<01:11:35.200> and<01:11:35.280> a<01:11:35.360> half<01:11:35.560> hours<01:11:35.880> and<01:11:35.960> one<01:11:36.080> at<01:11:36.160> 16.

01:11:37.600 --> 01:11:44.200
And<01:11:39.080> I<01:11:39.200> think<01:11:39.440> the<01:11:39.560> interesting<01:11:40.000> part<01:11:40.360> is<01:11:40.600> not<01:11:41.160> how<01:11:41.480> long<01:11:42.920> people<01:11:43.240> were<01:11:43.400> gone.

01:11:44.200 --> 01:11:49.640
I<01:11:44.320> think<01:11:44.600> it's<01:11:44.800> more<01:11:45.040> along<01:11:45.360> the<01:11:45.480> lines<01:11:45.880> of<01:11:46.800> um<01:11:47.920> what<01:11:48.160> people<01:11:48.440> came<01:11:48.680> back<01:11:49.040> with.

01:11:49.640 --> 01:11:54.360
Like<01:11:49.880> I<01:11:50.440> I<01:11:50.560> could<01:11:50.760> care<01:11:50.960> less<01:11:51.200> if<01:11:51.320> people<01:11:51.600> think<01:11:51.840> I<01:11:51.920> had<01:11:52.120> an<01:11:52.200> experience<01:11:52.800> or<01:11:52.880> not.

01:11:54.360 --> 01:11:57.360
If<01:11:54.596> I<01:11:54.831> know<01:11:55.067> you<01:11:55.302> had<01:11:55.538> the<01:11:55.773> experience.<01:11:56.009> I'm<01:11:56.244> just<01:11:56.480> Yeah.

01:11:57.360 --> 01:12:04.880
You<01:11:57.480> know,<01:11:57.640> I'm<01:11:57.800> just<01:11:58.160> skeptical<01:11:58.760> of<01:11:58.880> this<01:11:59.280> um<01:12:00.120> no<01:12:00.360> heartbeat<01:12:00.800> for<01:12:00.920> 3<01:12:01.160> hours<01:12:01.440> thing<01:12:01.600> and<01:12:01.720> I<01:12:01.960> I<01:12:02.160> I<01:12:02.240> wonder<01:12:02.480> if<01:12:02.640> you've<01:12:03.000> ever<01:12:03.240> discussed<01:12:03.640> this<01:12:03.880> with<01:12:04.000> somebody<01:12:04.280> like<01:12:04.520> Jeffrey

01:12:04.880 --> 01:12:13.280
Long<01:12:05.225> or<01:12:05.571> Sam<01:12:05.916> Parnia<01:12:06.262> or<01:12:06.607> Pim<01:12:06.953> van<01:12:07.298> Lommel,<01:12:07.644> these<01:12:07.989> doctors<01:12:08.335> that<01:12:08.680> are<01:12:09.025> into<01:12:09.371> near-death<01:12:09.716> experiences<01:12:10.062> and<01:12:10.407> what<01:12:10.753> they<01:12:11.098> would<01:12:11.444> say<01:12:11.789> if<01:12:12.135> you<01:12:12.480> did.

01:12:13.280 --> 01:12:19.360
I<01:12:13.440> believe<01:12:13.760> those<01:12:14.000> two<01:12:14.240> others<01:12:14.560> are<01:12:14.640> part<01:12:14.880> of<01:12:15.000> Jeff's<01:12:15.280> experience<01:12:15.920> or<01:12:16.600> research<01:12:17.040> study,<01:12:17.760> which<01:12:18.040> I<01:12:18.120> am<01:12:18.240> also<01:12:18.560> a<01:12:18.600> part<01:12:18.840> of.

01:12:19.360 --> 01:12:26.320
I'm<01:12:19.520> also<01:12:19.760> a<01:12:19.800> part<01:12:20.040> of<01:12:20.120> his.<01:12:21.200> But<01:12:22.240> you<01:12:22.360> know,<01:12:22.480> the<01:12:22.600> interesting<01:12:23.040> thing<01:12:23.240> is<01:12:23.400> when<01:12:24.200> science<01:12:24.720> is<01:12:24.880> starting<01:12:25.200> to<01:12:25.320> catch<01:12:25.600> up.

01:12:26.320 --> 01:12:32.280
Just<01:12:26.600> now.<01:12:27.680> Um<01:12:28.360> recently<01:12:28.920> in<01:12:29.040> the<01:12:29.120> past<01:12:29.480> year<01:12:29.680> they've<01:12:29.840> come<01:12:30.040> out<01:12:30.160> with<01:12:30.360> what<01:12:30.480> they<01:12:30.600> call<01:12:30.800> the<01:12:30.920> third<01:12:31.280> state.

01:12:32.280 --> 01:12:37.440
Right?<01:12:32.560> There's<01:12:33.800> science<01:12:34.200> has<01:12:34.320> always<01:12:34.600> known<01:12:34.880> two<01:12:35.080> states,<01:12:35.800> life<01:12:36.160> and<01:12:36.280> death.

01:12:37.440 --> 01:12:44.600
You're<01:12:37.600> either<01:12:37.800> alive<01:12:38.360> or<01:12:38.600> you're<01:12:38.760> dead.<01:12:39.720> And<01:12:39.840> there's<01:12:40.000> a<01:12:40.080> third<01:12:40.440> state<01:12:40.760> that<01:12:40.880> they've<01:12:41.040> come<01:12:41.280> out<01:12:41.440> with<01:12:41.680> recently,<01:12:42.200> which<01:12:42.440> they're<01:12:42.600> saying<01:12:43.560> they've<01:12:43.760> discovered<01:12:44.440> is

01:12:44.600 --> 01:12:47.600
a<01:12:44.680> state<01:12:45.160> between<01:12:45.840> life<01:12:46.120> and<01:12:46.240> death.

01:12:47.600 --> 01:12:53.080
Where<01:12:47.840> something<01:12:48.320> is<01:12:48.480> clinically<01:12:49.120> dead,<01:12:50.240> but<01:12:50.520> also<01:12:50.920> still<01:12:51.200> has<01:12:51.520> life<01:12:51.760> function.

01:12:53.080 --> 01:13:00.280
So<01:12:53.680> they're<01:12:54.000> recognizing<01:12:54.760> now<01:12:55.120> that<01:12:55.320> there<01:12:55.520> are<01:12:55.680> more<01:12:56.040> states<01:12:57.520> than<01:12:57.960> medical<01:12:58.360> science<01:12:58.800> books<01:12:59.080> currently<01:12:59.520> have<01:12:59.760> in<01:12:59.840> them.

01:13:00.280 --> 01:13:08.760
The<01:13:00.440> other<01:13:00.680> thing<01:13:01.000> that's<01:13:01.320> I<01:13:01.440> find<01:13:01.800> really<01:13:02.080> interesting<01:13:02.720> now<01:13:03.280> that<01:13:03.440> science<01:13:03.800> is<01:13:03.920> starting<01:13:04.320> to<01:13:04.400> catch<01:13:04.680> up<01:13:05.760> is<01:13:06.680> when<01:13:06.920> they<01:13:07.040> break<01:13:07.360> it<01:13:07.480> down<01:13:07.840> beyond<01:13:08.280> quantum

01:13:08.760 --> 01:13:11.560
level,<01:13:09.080> they<01:13:09.240> find<01:13:09.560> that<01:13:09.680> everything<01:13:10.120> is<01:13:10.320> light.

01:13:11.560 --> 01:13:15.200
That<01:13:11.920> nothing<01:13:12.280> is<01:13:12.440> actually<01:13:12.800> material.<01:13:13.760> Everything<01:13:14.240> here<01:13:14.640> is<01:13:14.840> light.

01:13:15.200 --> 01:13:19.080
Probably<01:13:15.760> that<01:13:16.000> same<01:13:16.320> light<01:13:16.520> that<01:13:16.720> I<01:13:16.760> experienced<01:13:17.440> on<01:13:17.560> the<01:13:17.680> other<01:13:17.840> side.

01:13:19.080 --> 01:13:26.680
So<01:13:19.400> if<01:13:19.520> we're<01:13:19.640> not<01:13:19.880> even<01:13:20.120> physical,<01:13:21.240> if<01:13:21.560> we're<01:13:21.680> not<01:13:21.920> even<01:13:22.160> material<01:13:22.800> itself<01:13:23.440> and<01:13:23.560> we're<01:13:23.720> just<01:13:24.080> light,<01:13:24.880> what's<01:13:25.280> time?

01:13:26.680 --> 01:13:30.560
Right?<01:13:27.120> So<01:13:27.760> it's<01:13:28.000> like<01:13:28.200> on<01:13:28.360> the<01:13:28.440> other<01:13:28.600> side<01:13:28.880> it<01:13:29.000> did<01:13:29.120> not<01:13:29.360> feel<01:13:29.680> time.

01:13:30.560 --> 01:13:32.640
I<01:13:30.680> did<01:13:30.960> not<01:13:31.400> experience<01:13:32.240> time.

01:13:32.640 --> 01:13:38.360
I<01:13:32.680> didn't<01:13:32.920> even<01:13:33.120> experience<01:13:33.720> distance.<01:13:35.240> But<01:13:35.560> everything<01:13:35.960> we<01:13:36.120> have<01:13:36.400> here<01:13:36.560> is<01:13:36.720> a<01:13:36.800> well,<01:13:36.960> according<01:13:37.400> to<01:13:37.520> time.

01:13:38.360 --> 01:13:40.720
Well,<01:13:38.520> what's<01:13:38.840> time?<01:13:40.000> Right?

01:13:40.720 --> 01:13:48.480
So<01:13:41.040> yeah,<01:13:41.360> I<01:13:41.480> understand<01:13:41.920> according<01:13:42.240> to<01:13:42.320> any<01:13:42.520> medical<01:13:43.080> literature<01:13:43.600> that<01:13:43.800> you<01:13:43.880> will<01:13:44.040> read,<01:13:44.720> absolutely<01:13:45.360> makes<01:13:45.640> no<01:13:46.240> no<01:13:46.400> sense<01:13:46.720> and<01:13:46.840> I<01:13:46.920> will<01:13:47.080> argue<01:13:47.480> that<01:13:47.640> I<01:13:47.720> have<01:13:48.040> all<01:13:48.360> the

01:13:48.480 --> 01:13:54.920
brain<01:13:48.720> damage.<01:13:49.840> Cuz<01:13:50.120> when<01:13:50.240> I<01:13:50.280> tell<01:13:50.480> you<01:13:50.560> what<01:13:50.680> happened<01:13:51.240> after<01:13:51.520> this,<01:13:51.880> you<01:13:52.040> will<01:13:52.160> say,<01:13:52.400> yeah,<01:13:52.640> you<01:13:52.960> you<01:13:53.120> definitely<01:13:53.680> are<01:13:53.800> brain<01:13:54.080> dead.

01:13:54.920 --> 01:13:57.560
But<01:13:56.160> Yeah,<01:13:56.720> it<01:13:56.840> doesn't<01:13:57.120> make<01:13:57.280> sense.

01:13:57.560 --> 01:14:00.840
I<01:13:57.600> don't<01:13:57.720> think<01:13:57.840> you're<01:13:57.920> brain<01:13:58.440> you<01:13:58.560> wouldn't<01:13:58.720> be<01:13:58.800> able<01:13:58.920> to<01:13:59.000> talk.<01:13:59.520> Obviously<01:14:00.040> you'd<01:14:00.120> be<01:14:00.200> dead.

01:14:00.840 --> 01:14:07.280
Yeah,<01:14:00.951> [laughter]<01:14:01.360> it<01:14:01.480> doesn't<01:14:01.800> make<01:14:02.000> any<01:14:02.160> sense<01:14:02.480> whatsoever<01:14:03.120> and<01:14:03.480> you<01:14:03.600> know<01:14:03.720> what<01:14:04.400> there<01:14:04.560> are<01:14:04.640> many<01:14:04.960> things<01:14:05.240> about<01:14:05.560> it<01:14:05.680> that<01:14:05.800> don't<01:14:05.960> make<01:14:06.160> any<01:14:06.320> sense<01:14:06.600> to<01:14:06.720> me.

01:14:07.280 --> 01:14:11.160
One<01:14:07.560> is<01:14:08.920> it's<01:14:09.280> like<01:14:09.520> why<01:14:09.760> do<01:14:09.920> I<01:14:10.000> remember<01:14:10.400> all<01:14:10.520> the<01:14:10.640> information?

01:14:11.160 --> 01:14:16.360
The<01:14:11.280> average<01:14:11.680> time<01:14:12.320> for<01:14:13.120> according<01:14:13.480> to<01:14:13.520> the<01:14:13.600> studies<01:14:14.040> I've<01:14:14.240> done<01:14:14.520> four<01:14:14.840> research<01:14:15.240> studies<01:14:15.600> now.

01:14:16.360 --> 01:14:22.840
According<01:14:16.619> to<01:14:16.878> all<01:14:17.137> of<01:14:17.396> them,<01:14:17.655> the<01:14:17.914> average<01:14:18.173> time<01:14:18.432> for<01:14:18.691> a<01:14:18.950> near-death<01:14:19.210> experience<01:14:19.469> or<01:14:19.728> to<01:14:19.987> remember<01:14:20.246> the<01:14:20.505> experience<01:14:20.764> is<01:14:21.023> 7<01:14:21.282> to<01:14:21.541> 10<01:14:21.800> years.

01:14:22.840 --> 01:14:26.120
Mine<01:14:23.200> was<01:14:23.800> hours.<01:14:25.040> Right?

01:14:26.120 --> 01:14:33.600
All<01:14:26.600> of<01:14:26.680> them.<01:14:27.080> I<01:14:27.320> don't<01:14:27.480> know.<01:14:27.600> I've<01:14:27.760> interviewed,<01:14:28.520> you<01:14:28.600> know,<01:14:29.640> Anita<01:14:29.960> Moorjani<01:14:30.920> and<01:14:31.760> Eben<01:14:32.080> Alexander<01:14:32.640> and<01:14:32.760> people<01:14:32.960> like<01:14:33.120> that.

01:14:33.600 --> 01:14:36.160
I<01:14:33.680> don't<01:14:33.920> think<01:14:34.080> it<01:14:34.280> took<01:14:34.480> them<01:14:34.840> that<01:14:35.040> long<01:14:35.360> to<01:14:35.480> remember<01:14:35.880> it<01:14:36.000> all.

01:14:36.160 --> 01:14:40.720
They<01:14:36.960> They<01:14:37.040> pretty<01:14:37.200> much<01:14:37.400> realize<01:14:38.440> I'm<01:14:39.320> not<01:14:39.480> saying<01:14:39.680> there<01:14:39.800> are<01:14:39.840> Maybe<01:14:39.960> the<01:14:40.080> average.

01:14:40.720 --> 01:14:45.280
Yeah,<01:14:41.320> I'm<01:14:41.480> not<01:14:41.680> saying<01:14:41.880> that<01:14:42.000> there<01:14:42.160> aren't<01:14:42.320> many<01:14:42.600> out<01:14:42.760> there,<01:14:42.920> but<01:14:43.160> the<01:14:43.320> average<01:14:43.680> is<01:14:43.800> 7<01:14:44.080> to<01:14:44.200> 10<01:14:44.440> years.

01:14:45.280 --> 01:14:50.160
And<01:14:45.480> then<01:14:45.640> to<01:14:45.760> remember<01:14:46.200> all<01:14:46.400> of<01:14:46.520> it,<01:14:46.680> which<01:14:46.880> is<01:14:47.000> also<01:14:48.000> um<01:14:48.600> not<01:14:48.840> normal.

01:14:50.160 --> 01:14:52.600
But<01:14:51.000> um<01:14:51.320> no,<01:14:51.680> none<01:14:51.840> of<01:14:51.920> it<01:14:52.040> makes<01:14:52.240> sense.

01:14:52.600 --> 01:14:56.600
Absolutely<01:14:53.040> none<01:14:53.240> of<01:14:53.320> it.<01:14:53.640> I<01:14:53.680> would<01:14:53.840> agree.<01:14:55.720> None<01:14:55.880> of<01:14:56.000> it.

01:14:56.600 --> 01:15:04.800
None<01:14:56.760> of<01:14:56.840> it<01:14:56.960> will<01:14:57.040> make<01:14:57.240> medical<01:14:57.600> sense.<01:14:58.000> None<01:14:58.240> of<01:14:58.360> it<01:14:58.840> None<01:14:59.040> of<01:14:59.120> the<01:14:59.240> information<01:14:59.840> I<01:14:59.920> have<01:15:00.400> will<01:15:00.520> make<01:15:00.760> sense<01:15:01.200> to<01:15:01.360> people<01:15:01.920> who<01:15:02.200> are<01:15:02.560> in<01:15:02.760> the<01:15:02.880> academic<01:15:03.360> community.

01:15:04.800 --> 01:15:10.480
Um<01:15:05.440> I've<01:15:05.640> spoken<01:15:06.080> with<01:15:06.200> many<01:15:06.400> researchers,<01:15:07.040> doctors,<01:15:07.640> psychologists,<01:15:08.720> all<01:15:08.960> kinds<01:15:09.240> of<01:15:09.320> people.

01:15:10.480 --> 01:15:18.920
And<01:15:11.360> there<01:15:11.480> are<01:15:11.560> two<01:15:11.760> groups.<01:15:12.640> One<01:15:13.320> where<01:15:14.560> it<01:15:14.760> makes<01:15:15.040> sense<01:15:15.720> in<01:15:15.920> a<01:15:16.000> way,<01:15:16.400> in<01:15:16.520> a<01:15:16.600> spiritual<01:15:17.000> way,<01:15:17.240> and<01:15:17.440> others<01:15:17.760> were<01:15:17.880> like,<01:15:18.160> "No,<01:15:18.840> I

01:15:18.920 --> 01:15:22.040
don't<01:15:19.080> believe<01:15:19.360> any<01:15:19.520> part<01:15:19.720> of<01:15:19.840> it."<01:15:19.920> And<01:15:20.000> that's<01:15:20.200> okay.<01:15:20.560> That's<01:15:20.840> part<01:15:21.080> of<01:15:21.200> this<01:15:21.440> existence.

01:15:22.040 --> 01:15:25.520
That's<01:15:22.240> part<01:15:22.440> of<01:15:22.520> this<01:15:22.680> experience.<01:15:23.440> Yeah.<01:15:24.080> I<01:15:24.200> don't<01:15:24.400> seek<01:15:24.640> any<01:15:24.840> validation.

01:15:25.520 --> 01:15:29.640
I<01:15:25.600> don't<01:15:26.240> I'm<01:15:26.360> not<01:15:26.560> here<01:15:26.720> for<01:15:26.880> anything.<01:15:27.280> I<01:15:27.360> don't<01:15:27.520> want<01:15:27.680> anything<01:15:27.960> from<01:15:28.160> anybody,<01:15:28.720> not<01:15:28.920> even<01:15:29.080> money.

01:15:29.640 --> 01:15:33.880
I<01:15:29.760> just<01:15:30.440> I<01:15:30.520> don't<01:15:31.600> um<01:15:32.600> The<01:15:32.760> interesting<01:15:33.400> believe<01:15:33.760> it.

01:15:33.880 --> 01:15:42.200
There's<01:15:34.040> so<01:15:34.120> many<01:15:34.280> things<01:15:34.560> we<01:15:34.680> can<01:15:34.840> talk<01:15:35.120> about.<01:15:35.800> And<01:15:36.480> And<01:15:36.680> I<01:15:36.880> obviously<01:15:37.400> I<01:15:37.480> believe<01:15:38.320> everything<01:15:38.640> about<01:15:38.840> your<01:15:40.000> spiritual<01:15:40.600> experience,<01:15:41.760> you<01:15:41.840> know,<01:15:41.960> this

01:15:42.200 --> 01:15:50.640
other<01:15:42.440> side<01:15:42.720> experience.<01:15:43.440> I'm<01:15:43.560> just<01:15:43.760> a<01:15:43.800> little<01:15:44.440> Maybe<01:15:44.680> I'm<01:15:44.800> a<01:15:44.840> little<01:15:45.040> stuck<01:15:45.400> in<01:15:45.520> the<01:15:47.080> current<01:15:47.480> medical<01:15:47.880> paradigm<01:15:48.800> in<01:15:48.880> terms<01:15:49.240> of<01:15:49.720> heartbeat<01:15:50.200> stopping

01:15:50.640 --> 01:15:53.440
for<01:15:50.800> 3<01:15:51.000> hours.<01:15:51.320> But<01:15:51.480> there's<01:15:51.640> so<01:15:51.760> many<01:15:51.920> things<01:15:52.160> I<01:15:52.200> want<01:15:52.400> to<01:15:52.440> talk<01:15:52.680> to<01:15:52.800> you<01:15:52.840> about.

01:15:53.440 --> 01:15:59.560
But<01:15:53.600> before<01:15:54.040> I<01:15:54.400> start<01:15:54.680> asking<01:15:54.920> more<01:15:55.080> questions,<01:15:55.640> is<01:15:55.800> there<01:15:55.920> something<01:15:56.280> on<01:15:56.400> your<01:15:56.520> mind<01:15:56.760> that<01:15:56.920> you<01:15:57.040> want<01:15:57.160> to<01:15:57.200> keep<01:15:57.400> going<01:15:57.680> with<01:15:57.920> before<01:15:58.320> I<01:15:58.480> start<01:15:58.800> jumping<01:15:59.120> around<01:15:59.440> with

01:15:59.560 --> 01:16:02.080
different<01:15:59.840> questions?<01:16:00.480> No,<01:16:00.760> let's<01:16:01.080> let's<01:16:01.320> jump<01:16:01.600> in.

01:16:02.080 --> 01:16:06.080
I'll<01:16:02.240> just<01:16:02.480> say<01:16:02.680> that<01:16:02.960> from<01:16:03.280> that<01:16:03.600> point<01:16:04.280> I<01:16:04.960> was<01:16:05.200> completely<01:16:05.680> different.

01:16:06.080 --> 01:16:11.240
The<01:16:06.160> cord<01:16:06.440> was<01:16:06.640> cut.<01:16:07.440> That<01:16:07.640> person<01:16:08.000> who<01:16:08.200> I<01:16:08.280> was<01:16:08.600> before<01:16:09.800> did<01:16:10.080> not<01:16:10.320> return.

01:16:11.240 --> 01:16:18.840
Yeah.<01:16:11.520> Not<01:16:11.600> even<01:16:11.840> close.<01:16:12.720> I'll<01:16:13.120> let<01:16:13.320> you<01:16:13.360> elaborate<01:16:13.760> on<01:16:13.840> that<01:16:14.040> cuz<01:16:14.200> you<01:16:14.280> haven't<01:16:14.520> had<01:16:14.640> a<01:16:14.680> chance<01:16:14.920> to<01:16:15.000> say<01:16:15.200> it,<01:16:15.320> but<01:16:15.480> your<01:16:15.840> entire<01:16:16.280> lifestyle<01:16:16.880> changed<01:16:17.880> uh<01:16:17.960> right<01:16:18.160> away.

01:16:18.840 --> 01:16:23.960
Yeah,<01:16:19.200> I'll<01:16:19.400> give<01:16:19.560> you<01:16:19.640> an<01:16:19.720> example.<01:16:20.160> The<01:16:20.240> last<01:16:21.160> social<01:16:21.760> event<01:16:22.200> It's<01:16:22.480> really<01:16:22.840> interesting.

01:16:23.960 --> 01:16:29.680
I<01:16:24.040> can't<01:16:24.680> I'm<01:16:24.920> missing<01:16:25.440> memories<01:16:26.360> from<01:16:27.480> the<01:16:27.640> previous<01:16:28.120> life.

01:16:29.680 --> 01:16:38.560
Um<01:16:30.160> up<01:16:30.320> to<01:16:30.440> that<01:16:30.640> point.<01:16:31.400> But<01:16:31.840> I<01:16:32.000> have<01:16:32.480> some<01:16:33.120> that<01:16:33.280> are<01:16:33.360> very<01:16:33.720> vivid,<01:16:34.320> and<01:16:34.520> I<01:16:34.600> remember<01:16:34.960> the<01:16:35.120> last<01:16:35.480> time<01:16:35.680> I<01:16:35.800> went<01:16:36.000> out<01:16:36.240> was<01:16:36.520> maybe<01:16:36.800> like<01:16:37.000> a<01:16:37.080> week<01:16:37.360> and<01:16:37.480> a<01:16:37.560> half<01:16:37.960> before

01:16:38.560 --> 01:16:44.200
my<01:16:38.800> collapse.<01:16:40.080> I<01:16:40.200> met<01:16:40.360> a<01:16:40.440> bunch<01:16:40.680> of<01:16:40.760> guys<01:16:41.120> in<01:16:41.200> a<01:16:41.240> bar,<01:16:42.000> you<01:16:42.080> know,<01:16:42.360> I'm<01:16:42.480> doing<01:16:42.720> my<01:16:42.840> thing,<01:16:43.160> drinking<01:16:43.520> beers.

01:16:44.200 --> 01:16:46.280
I'd<01:16:44.400> done<01:16:44.520> a<01:16:44.600> 3-hour<01:16:45.080> workout.<01:16:45.640> I<01:16:45.680> felt<01:16:45.960> good.

01:16:46.280 --> 01:16:55.200
I'm<01:16:46.400> like,<01:16:46.560> "Yeah,<01:16:46.920> let's<01:16:47.120> go<01:16:47.240> out,<01:16:47.400> guys."<01:16:48.520> Drinking<01:16:49.000> beers,<01:16:49.560> I'm<01:16:49.840> spitting<01:16:50.320> my<01:16:50.480> chewing<01:16:50.920> tobacco<01:16:51.640> into<01:16:51.920> an<01:16:52.040> empty<01:16:52.320> beer<01:16:52.640> can,<01:16:53.000> and<01:16:53.120> we're<01:16:53.240> talking<01:16:53.640> about<01:16:54.000> the<01:16:54.080> debaucherous

01:16:55.200 --> 01:17:01.040
things<01:16:55.680> that<01:16:55.800> a<01:16:55.880> friend<01:16:56.280> had<01:16:56.440> just<01:16:56.680> done<01:16:56.920> down<01:16:57.160> in<01:16:57.280> Las<01:16:57.520> Vegas,<01:16:58.040> and<01:16:58.160> we're<01:16:58.720> trying<01:16:58.960> to<01:16:59.040> plan<01:16:59.280> a<01:16:59.320> guys'<01:16:59.680> trip.

01:17:01.040 --> 01:17:09.360
And<01:17:01.840> in<01:17:02.040> that<01:17:02.240> moment,<01:17:02.760> if<01:17:02.920> you<01:17:03.080> had<01:17:03.360> told<01:17:03.720> me<01:17:04.200> if<01:17:04.360> you<01:17:04.480> had<01:17:04.600> come<01:17:04.800> up<01:17:04.920> to<01:17:05.040> me<01:17:05.160> and<01:17:05.280> said<01:17:05.520> anything<01:17:05.840> about<01:17:06.080> love,<01:17:07.440> I<01:17:07.680> would<01:17:07.800> have<01:17:07.920> told<01:17:08.120> you<01:17:08.200> to<01:17:08.360> f<01:17:08.600> off.

01:17:09.360 --> 01:17:17.520
Like,<01:17:09.520> if<01:17:09.640> you<01:17:09.720> had<01:17:09.880> told<01:17:10.160> me<01:17:10.400> if<01:17:10.840> if<01:17:10.960> somebody<01:17:11.280> walked<01:17:11.680> up<01:17:11.880> and<01:17:12.120> said<01:17:12.280> anything<01:17:12.560> spiritual<01:17:13.400> or<01:17:13.680> even<01:17:13.920> hello,<01:17:15.120> I<01:17:15.280> would<01:17:15.400> have<01:17:15.520> stared<01:17:15.800> at<01:17:15.920> you<01:17:16.040> like,<01:17:16.280> "Why<01:17:16.400> are<01:17:16.520> you<01:17:16.680> inter-

01:17:17.520 --> 01:17:20.640
You're<01:17:17.880> interrupting<01:17:18.520> me."<01:17:19.120> You<01:17:19.280> would<01:17:19.400> have<01:17:19.480> spit<01:17:19.720> tobacco<01:17:20.240> at<01:17:20.360> them.

01:17:20.640 --> 01:17:22.640
Yeah.<01:17:21.040> Yeah,<01:17:21.400> I<01:17:21.480> was<01:17:21.680> that<01:17:21.920> kind<01:17:22.080> of<01:17:22.160> guy.

01:17:22.640 --> 01:17:32.200
I<01:17:22.760> just<01:17:23.120> I<01:17:23.240> was<01:17:23.560> always<01:17:24.840> cocked<01:17:25.240> and<01:17:25.400> loaded,<01:17:25.960> and<01:17:26.960> um<01:17:27.920> waking<01:17:28.600> up<01:17:29.160> in<01:17:29.640> a<01:17:29.760> place<01:17:30.240> of<01:17:30.400> love,<01:17:31.280> I

01:17:32.200 --> 01:17:35.240
immediately<01:17:33.160> knew<01:17:34.160> that<01:17:34.520> didn't<01:17:34.720> come<01:17:34.840> back.

01:17:35.240 --> 01:17:39.240
I<01:17:35.320> immediately<01:17:35.960> knew<01:17:36.240> I<01:17:36.320> was<01:17:36.520> never<01:17:36.920> going<01:17:37.120> to<01:17:37.240> work<01:17:37.600> in<01:17:37.760> an<01:17:37.880> office<01:17:38.200> again.

01:17:39.240 --> 01:17:45.120
At<01:17:39.560> that<01:17:40.800> I<01:17:41.120> had<01:17:41.640> I<01:17:41.720> was<01:17:41.920> sitting<01:17:42.440> on<01:17:43.040> a<01:17:43.200> move<01:17:44.080> to<01:17:44.200> Dallas,<01:17:44.560> Texas.

01:17:45.120 --> 01:17:52.760
I<01:17:45.160> had<01:17:45.280> a<01:17:45.320> job<01:17:45.680> offer<01:17:45.960> for<01:17:46.120> $216,000<01:17:47.880> a<01:17:47.960> year<01:17:48.240> to<01:17:48.360> be<01:17:48.480> a<01:17:48.520> chief<01:17:48.800> marketing<01:17:49.240> officer<01:17:49.760> with<01:17:49.920> a<01:17:50.000> large<01:17:50.400> company,<01:17:51.040> which<01:17:51.240> I<01:17:51.320> find<01:17:51.560> this<01:17:51.720> ironic.

01:17:52.760 --> 01:18:00.440
A<01:17:52.960> large<01:17:53.440> company<01:17:54.000> who<01:17:54.280> buys<01:17:54.840> up<01:17:55.120> residential<01:17:55.760> properties<01:17:56.360> and<01:17:56.480> turns<01:17:56.760> them<01:17:56.960> into<01:17:57.200> commercial<01:17:57.800> so<01:17:57.920> they<01:17:58.080> can<01:17:58.240> raise<01:17:58.480> the<01:17:58.600> rents<01:17:58.960> and<01:17:59.160> basically<01:17:59.680> kick<01:17:59.960> people<01:18:00.240> out<01:18:00.360> of

01:18:00.440 --> 01:18:02.320
towns,<01:18:00.920> right?<01:18:01.360> Oh,<01:18:01.440> that's<01:18:01.680> a<01:18:01.720> creepy<01:18:02.080> thing.

01:18:02.320 --> 01:18:07.760
I've<01:18:02.480> read<01:18:02.640> about<01:18:02.920> that.<01:18:03.360> Yeah.<01:18:03.920> And<01:18:04.320> I<01:18:04.520> had<01:18:05.440> an<01:18:05.600> offer,<01:18:05.960> and<01:18:06.040> I<01:18:06.080> was<01:18:06.240> about<01:18:06.560> to<01:18:06.680> take<01:18:06.960> it.

01:18:07.760 --> 01:18:14.760
And<01:18:09.120> lightning<01:18:09.600> struck,<01:18:10.160> and<01:18:10.320> I<01:18:10.440> knew,<01:18:11.080> you<01:18:11.200> know,<01:18:12.160> I<01:18:12.320> just<01:18:12.680> could<01:18:12.880> never<01:18:13.320> go<01:18:13.720> into<01:18:14.000> an<01:18:14.120> office<01:18:14.440> again.

01:18:14.760 --> 01:18:18.160
I<01:18:14.840> had<01:18:14.960> a<01:18:15.040> 25-year<01:18:15.840> career<01:18:16.320> in<01:18:16.440> marketing<01:18:16.880> and<01:18:16.960> technology.

01:18:18.160 --> 01:18:26.240
I<01:18:18.400> knew<01:18:18.720> I<01:18:18.800> would<01:18:19.040> never<01:18:19.840> ever<01:18:20.280> work<01:18:20.600> in<01:18:20.680> a<01:18:20.760> scenario<01:18:21.280> in<01:18:21.440> any<01:18:21.720> way<01:18:22.760> where<01:18:23.200> I<01:18:23.280> would<01:18:23.520> manipulate<01:18:24.200> somebody<01:18:24.640> for<01:18:24.880> my<01:18:25.240> gain<01:18:25.640> or<01:18:25.760> the<01:18:25.880> gain<01:18:26.160> of

01:18:26.240 --> 01:18:28.960
a<01:18:26.320> company.<01:18:27.040> And<01:18:27.200> I<01:18:27.280> did<01:18:27.520> that<01:18:27.800> ended<01:18:28.360> that<01:18:28.600> day.

01:18:28.960 --> 01:18:32.960
It's<01:18:29.320> the<01:18:29.400> weirdest<01:18:29.880> thing.<01:18:30.120> I<01:18:30.200> just<01:18:30.640> I<01:18:30.720> wasn't<01:18:31.040> that<01:18:31.200> person<01:18:31.560> anymore.

01:18:32.960 --> 01:18:35.560
And<01:18:33.480> everything<01:18:33.920> I<01:18:33.960> had<01:18:34.120> owned<01:18:34.360> I<01:18:34.440> had<01:18:34.560> multiple<01:18:35.160> boats.

01:18:35.560 --> 01:18:39.240
I<01:18:35.600> had<01:18:35.680> an<01:18:35.840> antique<01:18:37.200> high-end<01:18:38.000> antique<01:18:38.520> sailboat.

01:18:39.240 --> 01:18:42.280
I<01:18:39.320> had<01:18:39.600> a<01:18:39.720> motorboat<01:18:40.400> on<01:18:40.520> one<01:18:40.720> side<01:18:40.920> of<01:18:41.000> the<01:18:41.080> lake,<01:18:41.360> sailboat<01:18:41.800> on<01:18:41.880> the<01:18:42.000> other.

01:18:42.280 --> 01:18:49.800
I<01:18:42.320> used<01:18:42.480> to<01:18:42.600> drive<01:18:42.960> one<01:18:43.120> boat<01:18:43.360> to<01:18:43.480> the<01:18:43.600> other.<01:18:43.880> I<01:18:43.920> thought<01:18:44.400> it<01:18:44.520> was<01:18:44.680> great<01:18:45.080> like<01:18:46.360> look<01:18:46.560> at<01:18:46.680> me,<01:18:46.960> I<01:18:47.000> can<01:18:47.160> drive<01:18:47.520> multiple<01:18:47.960> boats<01:18:48.520> to<01:18:48.680> each<01:18:48.840> other.

01:18:49.800 --> 01:18:55.800
And<01:18:50.720> all<01:18:50.960> the<01:18:51.080> other<01:18:51.240> stuff<01:18:51.520> that<01:18:51.680> I<01:18:51.760> had,<01:18:52.040> all<01:18:52.200> the<01:18:52.320> money,<01:18:52.640> all<01:18:52.720> the<01:18:52.840> trips,<01:18:53.160> everything,<01:18:53.600> it<01:18:53.720> just<01:18:53.960> stopped<01:18:54.600> immediately.

01:18:55.800 --> 01:19:00.120
Immediately,<01:18:56.680> everything<01:18:57.200> changed.<01:18:58.280> And<01:18:58.400> there<01:18:58.520> was<01:18:58.760> no<01:18:58.920> slow<01:18:59.400> integration.

01:19:00.120 --> 01:19:04.760
It<01:19:00.240> was<01:19:00.400> a<01:19:00.480> light<01:19:00.880> switch.<01:19:02.360> Yeah,<01:19:02.480> he<01:19:02.720> said<01:19:02.840> he<01:19:02.920> sold<01:19:03.280> he<01:19:03.320> sold<01:19:03.600> all<01:19:03.720> that<01:19:03.920> stuff.

01:19:04.760 --> 01:19:06.560
And<01:19:05.160> I<01:19:05.240> mean<01:19:05.400> did<01:19:05.560> you<01:19:05.640> have<01:19:05.760> much<01:19:05.960> equity<01:19:06.320> in<01:19:06.440> it?

01:19:06.560 --> 01:19:10.960
Cuz<01:19:06.760> you<01:19:06.840> must<01:19:07.120> you<01:19:07.400> must<01:19:07.720> have<01:19:07.840> a<01:19:07.880> little<01:19:08.040> nest<01:19:08.320> egg<01:19:08.480> if<01:19:08.600> you<01:19:08.680> sold<01:19:08.960> all<01:19:09.040> those<01:19:09.280> boats<01:19:09.600> and<01:19:09.920> cars<01:19:10.160> and<01:19:10.280> and<01:19:10.400> blew<01:19:10.720> it.

01:19:10.960 --> 01:19:15.560
I<01:19:11.360> I<01:19:11.480> came<01:19:11.840> out<01:19:11.960> of<01:19:12.040> a<01:19:12.080> divorce<01:19:12.640> and<01:19:12.800> I<01:19:13.080> whatever<01:19:13.480> I<01:19:13.520> had<01:19:13.720> left,<01:19:14.080> I<01:19:14.160> put<01:19:14.520> into<01:19:14.720> the<01:19:14.840> house.

01:19:15.560 --> 01:19:19.284
I<01:19:15.640> bought<01:19:15.880> a<01:19:15.920> house<01:19:16.400> about<01:19:16.600> a<01:19:16.640> mile<01:19:17.000> from<01:19:17.160> the<01:19:17.240> biggest<01:19:17.560> lake<01:19:17.800> in<01:19:17.920> Idaho.

01:19:19.284 --> 01:19:21.080
[sighs<01:19:19.452> and<01:19:19.619> gasps]<01:19:19.787> But<01:19:19.954> it<01:19:20.122> was<01:19:20.290> expensive<01:19:20.457> to<01:19:20.625> live<01:19:20.792> out<01:19:20.960> here.

01:19:21.080 --> 01:19:24.280
It's<01:19:21.200> a<01:19:21.240> resort<01:19:21.640> town.<01:19:22.000> So<01:19:22.120> I<01:19:22.160> put<01:19:22.320> the<01:19:22.400> money<01:19:22.600> into<01:19:22.840> the<01:19:22.920> house.

01:19:24.280 --> 01:19:26.720
Um<01:19:24.680> I<01:19:24.720> had<01:19:24.840> a<01:19:24.880> little<01:19:25.080> bit<01:19:25.240> left<01:19:25.480> over.<01:19:25.720> I<01:19:25.760> bought<01:19:25.960> the<01:19:26.040> first<01:19:26.360> boat.

01:19:26.720 --> 01:19:30.240
Then<01:19:27.120> I<01:19:27.160> started<01:19:27.560> earning<01:19:28.000> again<01:19:28.400> and<01:19:28.520> I<01:19:28.560> was<01:19:28.680> like,<01:19:28.880> okay,<01:19:29.120> I<01:19:29.160> need<01:19:29.360> another<01:19:29.640> boat.

01:19:30.240 --> 01:19:35.400
I<01:19:30.280> need<01:19:30.440> a<01:19:30.480> bigger<01:19:30.800> boat.<01:19:31.240> then<01:19:31.440> when<01:19:31.600> you<01:19:31.720> had<01:19:31.920> your<01:19:32.040> NDE<01:19:32.600> and<01:19:32.760> you<01:19:32.840> sold<01:19:33.120> all<01:19:33.200> this<01:19:33.400> stuff,<01:19:33.640> didn't<01:19:33.920> you<01:19:34.000> have<01:19:34.160> some<01:19:34.720> Yep.

01:19:35.400 --> 01:19:39.400
And<01:19:35.520> I<01:19:35.560> lived<01:19:35.840> off<01:19:36.040> that.<01:19:36.840> I<01:19:36.880> lived<01:19:37.200> off<01:19:37.400> that<01:19:37.720> for<01:19:37.880> the<01:19:38.000> first<01:19:38.400> year<01:19:38.640> or<01:19:38.760> so.

01:19:39.400 --> 01:19:43.400
I<01:19:39.440> paid<01:19:39.760> down<01:19:40.000> all<01:19:40.120> the<01:19:40.200> bills.<01:19:40.480> I<01:19:40.520> was<01:19:40.800> I<01:19:41.040> think<01:19:41.200> I<01:19:41.240> was<01:19:41.400> $40,000<01:19:42.320> in<01:19:42.440> debt<01:19:42.720> at<01:19:42.800> the<01:19:42.920> time.

01:19:43.400 --> 01:19:45.360
So<01:19:43.520> I<01:19:43.560> paid<01:19:43.840> that<01:19:44.040> down.<01:19:45.000> Yeah.

01:19:45.360 --> 01:19:49.520
Um<01:19:46.160> so<01:19:46.360> I<01:19:46.440> blew<01:19:46.640> the<01:19:46.760> money.<01:19:47.160> Basically,<01:19:47.560> I<01:19:47.600> went<01:19:47.760> through<01:19:47.880> the<01:19:47.960> money<01:19:48.200> in<01:19:48.320> 2<01:19:48.520> years.

01:19:49.520 --> 01:19:56.320
Okay.<01:19:50.240> And<01:19:50.480> um<01:19:50.760> we<01:19:50.880> didn't<01:19:51.200> you<01:19:51.280> didn't<01:19:51.440> get<01:19:51.560> a<01:19:51.600> chance<01:19:51.880> to<01:19:51.960> finish<01:19:52.200> your<01:19:52.320> story,<01:19:52.600> but<01:19:52.840> the<01:19:52.960> audience<01:19:53.680> uh<01:19:53.760> should<01:19:54.000> know<01:19:54.200> that<01:19:54.640> what<01:19:54.840> was<01:19:55.080> wrong<01:19:55.400> with<01:19:55.560> you<01:19:55.800> was<01:19:56.040> that<01:19:56.200> you

01:19:56.320 --> 01:20:04.480
had<01:19:56.760> a<01:19:57.640> gallstone<01:19:58.280> stuck<01:19:58.680> in<01:19:58.800> a<01:19:58.880> duct<01:19:59.440> and<01:19:59.600> you<01:19:59.680> weren't<01:19:59.880> aware<01:20:00.120> of<01:20:00.240> it<01:20:00.400> cuz<01:20:00.560> you<01:20:00.680> had<01:20:00.920> an<01:20:01.040> insensitivity<01:20:01.840> to<01:20:02.000> pain<01:20:02.920> and<01:20:03.560> that's<01:20:03.880> why<01:20:04.040> you<01:20:04.200> were<01:20:04.320> so

01:20:04.480 --> 01:20:09.880
sick.<01:20:05.160> And<01:20:05.600> I<01:20:05.640> presume<01:20:06.000> you've<01:20:06.160> had<01:20:06.600> gallstone<01:20:07.120> surgery<01:20:07.560> or<01:20:07.640> something<01:20:07.960> to<01:20:08.000> get<01:20:08.160> the<01:20:08.240> stone<01:20:08.600> out<01:20:08.800> now<01:20:09.320> or<01:20:09.360> whatever.

01:20:09.880 --> 01:20:12.600
So<01:20:10.000> that's<01:20:10.200> not<01:20:10.400> happening<01:20:10.720> anymore.<01:20:10.960> No?<01:20:11.400> It<01:20:11.480> just<01:20:11.640> dissolved?

01:20:12.600 --> 01:20:16.840
Yeah,<01:20:13.040> I<01:20:13.160> got<01:20:13.400> healed.<01:20:13.960> It<01:20:14.040> was<01:20:14.200> like<01:20:14.560> the<01:20:14.760> fourth<01:20:15.520> day.

01:20:16.840 --> 01:20:21.960
Third<01:20:17.160> or<01:20:17.240> fourth<01:20:17.680> day<01:20:18.000> in<01:20:18.200> there,<01:20:18.560> I<01:20:18.600> had<01:20:18.760> this<01:20:18.960> giant<01:20:19.400> flush<01:20:20.240> come<01:20:20.440> through<01:20:20.600> my<01:20:20.720> body.

01:20:21.960 --> 01:20:24.640
Mhm.<01:20:22.320> Like<01:20:23.160> uh<01:20:23.320> it<01:20:23.440> was<01:20:23.760> disgusting.

01:20:24.640 --> 01:20:30.960
I'll<01:20:24.760> just<01:20:24.960> say<01:20:25.120> that.<01:20:25.320> I<01:20:25.400> won't<01:20:25.880> go<01:20:26.080> into<01:20:26.240> the<01:20:26.320> detail,<01:20:26.800> but<01:20:27.000> my<01:20:27.200> entire<01:20:27.680> body<01:20:28.000> kind<01:20:28.160> of<01:20:28.280> detoxed<01:20:28.800> and<01:20:28.920> flushed<01:20:29.560> on<01:20:29.720> that<01:20:29.920> day.

01:20:30.960 --> 01:20:38.160
However,<01:20:31.320> I<01:20:31.360> was<01:20:31.520> still<01:20:31.960> severely<01:20:32.560> ill<01:20:32.960> and<01:20:33.600> finally<01:20:34.480> I<01:20:34.600> convinced<01:20:34.960> the<01:20:35.040> doctor<01:20:35.480> to<01:20:35.640> do<01:20:36.440> uh<01:20:36.520> ultrasound.

01:20:38.160 --> 01:20:40.760
And<01:20:38.280> they<01:20:38.400> found<01:20:38.640> all<01:20:38.720> kinds<01:20:38.960> of<01:20:39.040> damage<01:20:39.680> to<01:20:39.960> my<01:20:40.160> organs.

01:20:40.760 --> 01:20:45.480
And<01:20:41.080> what<01:20:41.280> had<01:20:41.440> happened,<01:20:42.040> it<01:20:42.160> wasn't<01:20:42.400> until<01:20:42.720> months<01:20:43.080> later<01:20:43.560> I<01:20:43.760> I<01:20:43.840> gave<01:20:44.200> up<01:20:44.400> on<01:20:44.480> the<01:20:44.600> medical<01:20:44.960> community.

01:20:45.480 --> 01:20:48.800
They<01:20:45.600> couldn't<01:20:45.840> figure<01:20:46.120> it<01:20:46.240> out.<01:20:46.600> They're<01:20:46.720> like,<01:20:47.040> "Yeah,<01:20:47.360> you've<01:20:47.640> got<01:20:47.880> some<01:20:48.080> real<01:20:48.240> problems.

01:20:48.800 --> 01:20:52.280
We<01:20:48.880> don't<01:20:49.040> know<01:20:49.240> what<01:20:49.440> caused<01:20:49.840> it."<01:20:50.920> And<01:20:51.040> I<01:20:51.120> went<01:20:51.400> to<01:20:51.800> uh<01:20:51.880> what<01:20:52.000> do<01:20:52.040> you<01:20:52.080> call<01:20:52.200> it?

01:20:52.280 --> 01:20:55.520
A<01:20:52.320> functional<01:20:52.840> doctor?<01:20:53.760> Homeopathy?<01:20:54.680> Functional<01:20:54.760> medicine.

01:20:55.520 --> 01:20:58.360
Functional<01:20:55.880> medicine.<01:20:56.440> And<01:20:56.600> she<01:20:56.840> said,<01:20:57.120> "Well,<01:20:57.200> let's<01:20:57.400> do<01:20:57.520> a<01:20:57.560> DNA<01:20:58.000> test.

01:20:58.360 --> 01:21:01.000
Let's<01:20:58.480> do<01:20:58.640> all<01:20:58.840> the<01:20:58.960> tests<01:20:59.320> that<01:20:59.480> the<01:20:59.560> medical<01:20:59.960> community<01:21:00.400> won't<01:21:00.640> do."

01:21:01.000 --> 01:21:06.000
And<01:21:01.120> she<01:21:01.320> put<01:21:01.480> it<01:21:01.600> together.<01:21:02.720> She<01:21:02.840> said,<01:21:03.240> "Well,<01:21:03.480> first<01:21:03.840> off,<01:21:04.040> you<01:21:04.160> have<01:21:04.280> a<01:21:04.360> DNA<01:21:04.680> mutation<01:21:05.160> to<01:21:05.240> pain."

01:21:06.000 --> 01:21:08.680
You<01:21:06.080> know,<01:21:06.200> she<01:21:06.400> could<01:21:06.600> see<01:21:06.760> the<01:21:06.880> markers.<01:21:07.520> I<01:21:07.600> showed<01:21:07.800> her<01:21:07.880> the<01:21:08.040> ultrasounds.

01:21:08.680 --> 01:21:11.640
She's<01:21:08.880> like,<01:21:09.040> "Here's<01:21:09.280> what<01:21:09.400> I<01:21:09.440> think<01:21:09.640> happened.<01:21:09.920> I<01:21:09.960> think<01:21:10.160> you<01:21:10.360> went<01:21:10.760> septic."

01:21:11.640 --> 01:21:15.160
You're<01:21:11.880> showing<01:21:12.600> signs<01:21:13.280> of<01:21:13.400> having<01:21:13.640> gone<01:21:13.880> septic."

01:21:15.160 --> 01:21:17.640
And<01:21:15.280> she<01:21:15.400> said,<01:21:15.640> "Well,<01:21:15.760> you're<01:21:15.960> really<01:21:16.320> lucky<01:21:16.640> to<01:21:16.760> be<01:21:16.880> alive."

01:21:17.640 --> 01:21:22.720
And<01:21:17.720> I<01:21:17.800> just<01:21:18.080> laughed.<01:21:18.920> I<01:21:18.960> was<01:21:19.080> like<01:21:19.280> giggling<01:21:19.760> to<01:21:19.840> myself<01:21:20.280> 'cause<01:21:20.520> I<01:21:20.640> was<01:21:20.840> not<01:21:21.160> sharing<01:21:21.480> this<01:21:21.680> with<01:21:21.920> anybody.

01:21:22.720 --> 01:21:30.640
Nobody<01:21:23.280> was<01:21:23.440> going<01:21:23.560> to<01:21:23.640> know<01:21:23.760> about<01:21:24.040> this.<01:21:25.000> And<01:21:25.080> the<01:21:25.160> funny<01:21:25.400> thing<01:21:25.640> is<01:21:26.560> I<01:21:27.160> I<01:21:27.360> was<01:21:27.560> sitting<01:21:27.840> this<01:21:28.000> place<01:21:28.280> going,<01:21:28.600> "I<01:21:28.720> know<01:21:29.120> on<01:21:29.280> the<01:21:29.400> other<01:21:29.560> side<01:21:29.880> I<01:21:29.920> had<01:21:30.040> agreed<01:21:30.400> to<01:21:30.480> come

01:21:30.640 --> 01:21:34.520
and<01:21:30.760> help<01:21:30.920> people,<01:21:31.600> but<01:21:31.760> I<01:21:31.800> don't<01:21:32.040> know<01:21:32.160> how<01:21:32.400> and<01:21:32.520> I<01:21:32.560> don't<01:21:32.760> know<01:21:32.880> what<01:21:33.000> that<01:21:33.200> means."

01:21:34.520 --> 01:21:36.400
So,<01:21:34.600> I<01:21:34.640> was<01:21:34.760> just<01:21:34.960> sitting.<01:21:35.240> I<01:21:35.280> was<01:21:35.440> like,<01:21:35.600> "I'm<01:21:35.720> not<01:21:35.840> telling<01:21:36.080> anybody."

01:21:36.400 --> 01:21:42.320
I'm<01:21:36.480> like,<01:21:36.680> "Just<01:21:36.840> tell<01:21:36.960> me<01:21:37.080> how<01:21:37.160> to<01:21:37.240> get<01:21:37.400> better."<01:21:38.320> And<01:21:38.680> so,<01:21:38.880> it<01:21:39.000> took<01:21:39.200> me<01:21:39.360> 6<01:21:39.640> months<01:21:39.920> before<01:21:40.200> I<01:21:40.240> could<01:21:40.400> eat<01:21:40.560> food<01:21:41.880> normally.

01:21:42.320 --> 01:21:47.640
I<01:21:42.360> was<01:21:42.480> on<01:21:42.600> a<01:21:42.640> liquid<01:21:42.920> diet<01:21:43.200> for<01:21:43.320> 6<01:21:43.560> months.<01:21:44.040> And<01:21:44.160> then<01:21:44.280> then<01:21:44.480> it<01:21:44.600> was<01:21:44.760> like<01:21:45.800> a<01:21:45.880> little<01:21:46.240> piece<01:21:46.520> of<01:21:46.640> meat.

01:21:47.640 --> 01:21:52.880
And<01:21:47.760> then<01:21:47.880> it<01:21:47.960> was<01:21:48.080> like<01:21:48.240> it<01:21:48.360> just<01:21:48.560> grew.<01:21:49.080> But<01:21:49.240> it<01:21:49.360> took<01:21:50.000> a<01:21:50.240> solid<01:21:50.840> year<01:21:51.520> before<01:21:51.840> I<01:21:51.920> could<01:21:52.120> eat<01:21:52.320> well<01:21:52.520> again.

01:21:52.880 --> 01:21:55.440
I<01:21:53.000> still<01:21:53.720> I'm<01:21:53.840> going<01:21:54.080> on<01:21:54.240> 3rd<01:21:54.560> year.

01:21:55.440 --> 01:21:57.800
I<01:21:55.520> still<01:21:55.760> have<01:21:55.920> medical<01:21:56.240> problems<01:21:56.720> that<01:21:56.840> aren't<01:21:57.000> completely<01:21:57.440> healed.

01:21:57.800 --> 01:22:03.920
I'll<01:21:57.960> probably<01:21:58.280> have<01:21:58.440> damage<01:21:58.800> for<01:21:58.920> life.<01:21:59.440> But<01:21:59.960> um<01:22:00.120> I've<01:22:00.280> heard<01:22:00.480> you<01:22:00.560> say<01:22:00.760> that<01:22:00.920> about<01:22:01.600> months<01:22:01.920> you<01:22:02.120> have<01:22:02.320> a<01:22:02.400> health<01:22:02.800> crisis<01:22:03.360> of<01:22:03.480> some<01:22:03.680> kind.

01:22:03.920 --> 01:22:07.880
You<01:22:04.000> kind<01:22:04.200> of<01:22:04.280> crash<01:22:04.720> and<01:22:04.800> then<01:22:04.920> you<01:22:05.000> come<01:22:05.160> back<01:22:05.440> from<01:22:05.640> it,<01:22:05.800> but<01:22:05.920> you<01:22:06.640> you've<01:22:06.760> been<01:22:06.920> upgraded<01:22:07.440> a<01:22:07.480> little<01:22:07.680> bit.

01:22:07.880 --> 01:22:13.160
There's<01:22:08.080> been<01:22:08.240> a<01:22:08.320> reset<01:22:08.800> and<01:22:08.920> and<01:22:09.120> you're<01:22:09.480> there's<01:22:09.680> some<01:22:10.320> new<01:22:10.520> level<01:22:10.880> of<01:22:11.280> wellness<01:22:11.800> that<01:22:12.000> you<01:22:12.080> hadn't<01:22:12.520> had.

01:22:13.160 --> 01:22:19.000
Yeah,<01:22:13.360> it's<01:22:13.600> wellness.<01:22:14.080> It's<01:22:14.280> strange.<01:22:14.680> It<01:22:14.800> always<01:22:15.480> It<01:22:16.040> also<01:22:16.480> coincides<01:22:17.160> with<01:22:17.280> the<01:22:17.400> psychic<01:22:17.800> gifts<01:22:18.040> that<01:22:18.200> I<01:22:18.240> have.

01:22:19.000 --> 01:22:25.400
Right.<01:22:19.440> Every<01:22:19.800> 6<01:22:20.120> months<01:22:20.400> I<01:22:20.480> come<01:22:20.680> back<01:22:20.960> I<01:22:21.040> just<01:22:21.280> get<01:22:21.480> a<01:22:21.520> little<01:22:21.880> bit<01:22:22.080> more<01:22:22.360> psychic<01:22:22.840> when<01:22:23.000> I<01:22:23.040> go<01:22:23.240> through<01:22:23.560> that<01:22:24.200> experience.

01:22:25.400 --> 01:22:30.440
Um<01:22:26.000> I<01:22:26.080> can<01:22:26.280> feel<01:22:26.600> more.<01:22:27.600> Uh,<01:22:27.680> sometimes<01:22:28.080> physically<01:22:28.560> feel<01:22:28.800> more.

01:22:30.440 --> 01:22:38.720
So,<01:22:32.120> you<01:22:32.160> know,<01:22:32.280> there've<01:22:32.440> been<01:22:32.600> people<01:22:32.880> in<01:22:32.960> history<01:22:33.360> like<01:22:33.560> Saint<01:22:33.800> Francis<01:22:34.320> who<01:22:34.480> went<01:22:34.960> who<01:22:35.160> nearly<01:22:35.560> died<01:22:36.480> and<01:22:36.800> and<01:22:37.040> was<01:22:37.200> out<01:22:37.440> for<01:22:37.760> a<01:22:37.880> long<01:22:38.200> period<01:22:38.600> and

01:22:38.720 --> 01:22:45.520
then<01:22:38.920> kind<01:22:39.120> of<01:22:39.200> came<01:22:39.480> out<01:22:39.600> of<01:22:39.720> it<01:22:39.880> transformed.<01:22:40.760> If<01:22:40.880> you<01:22:40.960> ever<01:22:41.120> watch<01:22:41.400> the<01:22:41.640> the<01:22:41.720> movie<01:22:42.040> Brother<01:22:42.360> Sun,<01:22:42.640> Sister<01:22:43.040> Moon<01:22:43.320> about<01:22:43.640> Saint<01:22:43.880> Francis,<01:22:44.320> it's<01:22:44.840> you<01:22:44.920> see<01:22:45.080> what<01:22:45.240> he<01:22:45.320> went

01:22:45.520 --> 01:22:54.640
through,<01:22:45.680> but<01:22:46.120> there<01:22:46.240> are<01:22:46.320> numerous<01:22:46.720> other<01:22:46.960> examples<01:22:47.400> like<01:22:47.520> that<01:22:47.640> where<01:22:47.760> people<01:22:48.000> go<01:22:48.160> through<01:22:48.400> this<01:22:49.720> catharsis<01:22:50.440> by<01:22:50.840> by<01:22:52.000> by<01:22:52.200> virtue<01:22:52.600> of<01:22:52.840> a<01:22:53.080> health<01:22:53.360> crisis<01:22:53.880> that

01:22:54.640 --> 01:22:57.200
alters<01:22:55.080> them<01:22:56.200> dramatically.

01:22:57.200 --> 01:23:05.840
I<01:22:57.520> I<01:22:57.680> do<01:22:58.000> know<01:22:59.480> you<01:22:59.600> know,<01:22:59.880> over<01:23:00.160> the<01:23:00.480> people<01:23:00.840> that<01:23:00.960> I've<01:23:01.080> met<01:23:01.320> over<01:23:01.440> the<01:23:01.560> last<01:23:01.920> couple<01:23:02.200> years<01:23:02.680> just<01:23:03.080> doing<01:23:03.440> what<01:23:03.560> I'm<01:23:03.680> doing,<01:23:04.440> I<01:23:04.680> I<01:23:04.760> find<01:23:05.040> there's<01:23:05.280> a

01:23:05.840 --> 01:23:09.680
a<01:23:05.960> common<01:23:06.520> ground<01:23:07.440> that<01:23:07.600> is<01:23:07.760> found<01:23:08.000> in<01:23:08.120> suffering.

01:23:09.680 --> 01:23:13.760
Physical<01:23:10.160> suffering<01:23:10.800> unlocks<01:23:11.320> something<01:23:11.920> in<01:23:12.120> some<01:23:12.400> weird<01:23:12.760> way.

01:23:13.760 --> 01:23:21.120
Uh,<01:23:13.840> trauma,<01:23:15.040> uh,<01:23:15.120> in<01:23:15.240> some<01:23:15.480> weird<01:23:15.760> way<01:23:16.120> unlocks<01:23:16.640> something<01:23:17.240> more<01:23:17.600> within<01:23:18.000> us<01:23:18.520> that<01:23:18.840> doesn't<01:23:19.280> if<01:23:19.400> you<01:23:19.480> haven't<01:23:19.760> gone<01:23:19.920> through<01:23:20.160> it.

01:23:21.120 --> 01:23:26.960
But,<01:23:21.360> um,<01:23:21.920> yeah,<01:23:22.240> it<01:23:22.360> was<01:23:22.520> a<01:23:22.600> long,<01:23:23.080> you<01:23:23.160> know,<01:23:23.320> on<01:23:23.440> the<01:23:23.560> other<01:23:23.680> side<01:23:23.920> before<01:23:24.240> I<01:23:24.320> came<01:23:24.520> back<01:23:24.800> I<01:23:24.840> was<01:23:24.960> given<01:23:25.280> some<01:23:25.480> warnings.

01:23:26.960 --> 01:23:33.160
Um,<01:23:27.320> one<01:23:27.520> of<01:23:27.560> them<01:23:27.760> was<01:23:27.920> the<01:23:28.000> recovery<01:23:28.440> was<01:23:28.560> going<01:23:28.680> to<01:23:28.760> be<01:23:28.880> long,<01:23:29.280> but<01:23:30.000> from<01:23:30.320> that<01:23:30.560> side<01:23:31.080> you're<01:23:31.200> not<01:23:31.400> thinking,<01:23:31.760> "Well,<01:23:31.920> what<01:23:32.040> does<01:23:32.200> that<01:23:32.480> mean?"

01:23:33.160 --> 01:23:37.840
Like<01:23:33.440> you<01:23:33.560> just<01:23:33.800> like<01:23:34.120> whatever.<01:23:34.840> It's<01:23:35.400> okay,<01:23:35.800> the<01:23:35.880> recovery's<01:23:36.280> going<01:23:36.400> to<01:23:36.480> be<01:23:36.560> long.

01:23:37.840 --> 01:23:42.800
And<01:23:37.960> it<01:23:38.040> turned<01:23:38.320> out<01:23:38.440> to<01:23:38.520> be<01:23:38.680> long.<01:23:39.360> It<01:23:39.560> was,<01:23:39.800> I'm<01:23:39.920> still<01:23:40.760> dealing<01:23:41.080> with<01:23:41.200> it<01:23:41.280> on<01:23:41.360> my<01:23:41.480> third<01:23:41.920> third<01:23:42.200> year.

01:23:42.800 --> 01:23:45.680
So,<01:23:44.440> it<01:23:44.640> started<01:23:45.040> then.

01:23:45.680 --> 01:23:48.880
The<01:23:45.977> whole<01:23:46.274> [clears<01:23:46.571> throat]<01:23:46.869> experience<01:23:47.166> really<01:23:47.463> started<01:23:47.760> then.

01:23:48.880 --> 01:23:54.480
Okay.<01:23:49.802> [gasps]<01:23:50.160> All<01:23:50.280> right.<01:23:50.680> I<01:23:50.720> don't<01:23:50.880> know<01:23:50.960> how<01:23:51.040> we're<01:23:51.160> going<01:23:51.280> to<01:23:51.360> do<01:23:51.480> this,<01:23:51.640> but<01:23:51.800> I<01:23:51.840> have<01:23:52.040> like<01:23:52.440> a<01:23:52.520> couple<01:23:52.800> of<01:23:52.880> dozen<01:23:53.240> questions<01:23:53.760> I<01:23:53.840> want<01:23:53.960> to<01:23:54.040> ask<01:23:54.280> you.

01:23:54.480 --> 01:23:58.520
So,<01:23:54.729> let's<01:23:54.977> kind<01:23:55.226> of<01:23:55.474> go<01:23:55.723> [clears<01:23:55.971> throat]<01:23:56.220> back<01:23:56.469> and<01:23:56.717> forth<01:23:56.966> and<01:23:57.214> I'll<01:23:57.463> get<01:23:57.711> them<01:23:57.960> in.

01:23:58.520 --> 01:24:03.160
So,<01:23:58.800> um,<01:23:59.480> and<01:23:59.640> they're<01:23:59.760> not<01:23:59.920> necessarily<01:24:00.520> in<01:24:00.600> the<01:24:00.640> most<01:24:00.880> logical<01:24:01.360> order,<01:24:01.960> but<01:24:02.400> um,<01:24:02.480> here<01:24:02.640> we<01:24:02.720> go.

01:24:03.160 --> 01:24:08.320
So,<01:24:04.120> some<01:24:04.320> of<01:24:04.400> them<01:24:04.520> are<01:24:04.640> for<01:24:04.800> me<01:24:05.280> and<01:24:05.480> some<01:24:05.600> of<01:24:05.680> them<01:24:05.880> are<01:24:06.000> from<01:24:06.560> various<01:24:06.920> people,<01:24:07.280> but<01:24:07.400> here's<01:24:07.600> one<01:24:07.760> for<01:24:07.880> me.

01:24:08.320 --> 01:24:13.440
During<01:24:08.680> your<01:24:09.200> life<01:24:09.520> review,<01:24:10.040> you<01:24:10.200> saw<01:24:10.400> that<01:24:10.600> there<01:24:10.720> were<01:24:10.880> guides<01:24:11.320> accompanying<01:24:11.840> you<01:24:12.000> during<01:24:12.360> your<01:24:12.480> life.

01:24:13.440 --> 01:24:20.000
I've<01:24:13.600> known<01:24:13.800> people<01:24:14.080> who<01:24:14.240> say<01:24:14.520> that<01:24:14.720> there<01:24:14.840> are<01:24:14.920> guides<01:24:15.240> accompanying<01:24:15.760> all<01:24:15.920> of<01:24:16.040> us<01:24:16.440> all<01:24:16.600> the<01:24:16.680> time<01:24:17.320> and<01:24:17.680> some<01:24:17.880> of<01:24:17.960> these<01:24:18.160> people<01:24:18.480> I've<01:24:18.600> known<01:24:18.960> and<01:24:19.120> I've<01:24:19.240> talked<01:24:19.520> to<01:24:19.680> claim

01:24:20.000 --> 01:24:28.280
to<01:24:20.120> see<01:24:20.360> them<01:24:20.600> quite<01:24:20.880> clearly.<01:24:21.920> Um,<01:24:22.280> do<01:24:22.480> you<01:24:22.680> agree<01:24:23.000> with<01:24:23.200> those<01:24:23.440> people<01:24:23.800> and<01:24:24.160> do<01:24:24.320> you<01:24:24.520> see<01:24:25.560> guides<01:24:26.160> or<01:24:26.400> celestial<01:24:26.920> beings<01:24:27.800> as<01:24:28.080> you

01:24:28.280 --> 01:24:32.520
function<01:24:29.160> now<01:24:29.840> as<01:24:30.080> a<01:24:30.160> back<01:24:30.440> to<01:24:30.720> earth<01:24:30.960> human<01:24:31.280> being?

01:24:32.520 --> 01:24:37.720
Yeah,<01:24:32.800> it's<01:24:33.040> a<01:24:33.120> yes<01:24:33.400> and<01:24:33.520> no<01:24:33.760> because<01:24:34.200> we<01:24:34.480> influence<01:24:35.160> what<01:24:35.320> we<01:24:35.480> see<01:24:36.120> in<01:24:36.280> a<01:24:36.320> way.

01:24:37.720 --> 01:24:45.560
So<01:24:38.600> those<01:24:38.880> who<01:24:39.040> see<01:24:39.200> God,<01:24:39.520> you<01:24:39.600> know,<01:24:40.280> I<01:24:40.320> speak<01:24:40.640> to<01:24:40.720> people<01:24:41.000> and<01:24:41.080> they're<01:24:41.160> like<01:24:41.360> I<01:24:41.440> have<01:24:42.040> my<01:24:42.200> guide<01:24:42.480> Michael,<01:24:42.920> my<01:24:43.120> guide<01:24:43.400> Mary<01:24:43.880> and<01:24:44.200> Lisa.

01:24:45.560 --> 01:24:51.480
And<01:24:45.680> they<01:24:45.800> look<01:24:46.120> a<01:24:46.160> certain<01:24:46.520> way<01:24:46.920> and<01:24:47.080> I<01:24:47.160> just<01:24:47.480> know<01:24:47.760> that<01:24:48.000> that<01:24:48.360> is<01:24:48.800> a<01:24:49.000> formless<01:24:49.560> divinity<01:24:50.000> taking<01:24:50.480> the<01:24:50.600> shape<01:24:50.920> for<01:24:51.040> them.

01:24:51.480 --> 01:24:54.040
It's<01:24:51.680> kind<01:24:51.840> of<01:24:51.960> like<01:24:52.200> the<01:24:52.320> welcome<01:24:52.840> that<01:24:53.000> I<01:24:53.040> received<01:24:53.440> in<01:24:53.560> the<01:24:53.600> landscape.

01:24:54.040 --> 01:25:00.760
It<01:24:54.160> takes<01:24:54.440> the<01:24:54.560> shape<01:24:54.880> for<01:24:55.040> you.<01:24:56.200> We<01:24:56.840> all<01:24:57.160> have<01:24:58.080> call<01:24:58.360> it<01:24:58.520> guides<01:24:58.960> around<01:24:59.280> us<01:24:59.400> but<01:24:59.560> you<01:24:59.640> don't<01:24:59.920> have<01:25:00.120> to<01:25:00.240> call<01:25:00.440> it<01:25:00.520> guides.

01:25:00.760 --> 01:25:02.520
If<01:25:00.880> you're<01:25:01.000> breathing<01:25:01.480> air,<01:25:01.680> you're<01:25:01.840> breathing<01:25:02.320> it.

01:25:02.520 --> 01:25:05.000
It's<01:25:02.680> around<01:25:03.200> you.<01:25:03.320> It's<01:25:03.520> everywhere<01:25:04.080> around<01:25:04.600> you.

01:25:05.000 --> 01:25:08.560
However,<01:25:05.480> some<01:25:05.760> of<01:25:05.880> us<01:25:06.240> would<01:25:06.440> prefer<01:25:06.920> it<01:25:07.240> in<01:25:07.360> a<01:25:07.440> shape.

01:25:08.560 --> 01:25:16.760
Uh<01:25:08.880> Some<01:25:09.040> people<01:25:09.280> say<01:25:09.440> we<01:25:09.560> all<01:25:09.680> have<01:25:09.840> a<01:25:09.880> guardian<01:25:10.320> angel<01:25:10.680> or<01:25:10.800> two<01:25:11.600> that<01:25:11.800> are<01:25:11.920> actually<01:25:12.360> entities<01:25:13.040> that<01:25:13.200> have<01:25:13.440> been<01:25:13.600> assigned<01:25:14.080> to<01:25:14.240> us<01:25:14.440> for<01:25:14.600> life<01:25:15.040> to<01:25:16.200> look<01:25:16.440> out<01:25:16.600> for

01:25:16.760 --> 01:25:20.080
us<01:25:16.880> or<01:25:17.000> something.<01:25:17.560> What<01:25:17.640> do<01:25:17.720> you<01:25:17.760> think<01:25:17.920> about<01:25:18.160> that?<01:25:18.960> The<01:25:19.080> board.

01:25:20.080 --> 01:25:27.600
I<01:25:20.200> would<01:25:20.400> say<01:25:20.680> maybe<01:25:21.000> in<01:25:21.120> some<01:25:21.360> circumstances<01:25:22.240> but<01:25:22.560> the<01:25:22.680> way<01:25:22.840> it<01:25:22.920> was<01:25:23.080> shown<01:25:23.360> to<01:25:23.480> me<01:25:23.880> is<01:25:24.160> there's<01:25:24.440> a<01:25:24.520> formless<01:25:25.000> divinity<01:25:25.440> in<01:25:25.560> the<01:25:25.680> room<01:25:25.960> that<01:25:26.160> you<01:25:26.280> can't<01:25:26.600> see.

01:25:27.600 --> 01:25:30.200
Right.<01:25:27.840> That<01:25:27.880> is<01:25:28.040> always<01:25:28.520> around<01:25:28.920> you.<01:25:29.040> It's<01:25:29.200> a<01:25:29.240> super<01:25:29.600> intelligence.

01:25:30.200 --> 01:25:33.520
Call<01:25:30.360> it<01:25:30.440> a<01:25:30.520> quantum<01:25:31.000> field<01:25:31.320> if<01:25:31.480> you<01:25:31.600> want<01:25:31.840> but<01:25:32.000> it's<01:25:32.120> all<01:25:32.240> around<01:25:32.600> you<01:25:32.720> all<01:25:32.840> the<01:25:32.960> time.

01:25:33.520 --> 01:25:41.720
Does<01:25:33.720> it<01:25:33.800> need<01:25:34.000> a<01:25:34.040> name?<01:25:34.800> Maybe<01:25:35.080> for<01:25:35.320> you,<01:25:36.160> you<01:25:36.280> need<01:25:36.440> to<01:25:36.560> have<01:25:36.720> it<01:25:36.800> a<01:25:36.880> certain<01:25:37.200> way<01:25:37.400> or<01:25:37.560> you<01:25:37.760> agreed<01:25:38.480> to<01:25:38.640> have<01:25:38.840> it<01:25:39.000> a<01:25:39.080> certain<01:25:39.440> way<01:25:39.840> in<01:25:40.080> this<01:25:40.280> existence.

01:25:41.720 --> 01:25:44.000
For<01:25:41.920> me,<01:25:42.400> I<01:25:42.520> do<01:25:42.800> see<01:25:43.000> celestial<01:25:43.560> beings.

01:25:44.000 --> 01:25:46.320
I<01:25:44.080> see<01:25:44.320> orbs.<01:25:44.760> I<01:25:44.840> communicate<01:25:45.320> with<01:25:45.440> the<01:25:45.520> orbs.

01:25:46.320 --> 01:25:48.840
Well,<01:25:46.360> yeah,<01:25:46.480> I<01:25:46.520> want<01:25:46.680> to<01:25:46.760> talk<01:25:46.920> to<01:25:47.000> you<01:25:47.040> about<01:25:47.320> orbs.<01:25:47.600> We've<01:25:47.720> got<01:25:47.840> to<01:25:47.920> do<01:25:48.040> a<01:25:48.080> whole<01:25:48.240> thing<01:25:48.480> on<01:25:48.640> orbs.

01:25:48.840 --> 01:25:51.120
Let's<01:25:49.000> do<01:25:49.120> that<01:25:49.320> now.<01:25:49.920> Yeah.<01:25:50.324> [laughter]<01:25:50.680> All<01:25:50.760> right.

01:25:51.120 --> 01:25:56.160
So<01:25:52.080> So<01:25:53.200> Um<01:25:55.480> What<01:25:55.640> are<01:25:55.760> they?

01:25:56.160 --> 01:26:01.000
What<01:25:56.360> are<01:25:56.440> these<01:25:56.680> orbs<01:25:57.080> you<01:25:57.200> see?<01:25:57.400> I've<01:25:57.520> heard<01:25:57.720> you<01:25:57.800> describe<01:25:58.240> them<01:25:58.320> in<01:25:58.400> interviews<01:25:58.840> but<01:25:59.280> tell<01:25:59.480> the<01:25:59.640> audience.

01:26:01.000 --> 01:26:05.080
I<01:26:01.200> think<01:26:01.560> it's<01:26:01.920> a<01:26:01.960> manifestation<01:26:03.080> of<01:26:03.840> that<01:26:04.080> formless<01:26:04.560> divinity.

01:26:05.080 --> 01:26:08.240
Some<01:26:05.320> might<01:26:05.440> call<01:26:05.640> it<01:26:05.720> consciousness.<01:26:06.960> It's<01:26:07.160> not<01:26:07.400> a<01:26:07.440> thing.

01:26:08.240 --> 01:26:12.560
It's<01:26:09.640> It's<01:26:10.920> Uh<01:26:11.400> An<01:26:11.480> orb<01:26:11.680> means<01:26:11.960> like<01:26:12.120> a<01:26:12.160> circle.

01:26:12.560 --> 01:26:16.480
So<01:26:12.720> if<01:26:12.840> you<01:26:12.960> look<01:26:13.160> up<01:26:13.400> and<01:26:13.520> you<01:26:13.600> see<01:26:13.880> one,<01:26:14.360> you're<01:26:14.600> are<01:26:14.720> you<01:26:14.800> seeing<01:26:15.000> a<01:26:15.040> luminous<01:26:15.600> circle?

01:26:16.480 --> 01:26:21.320
Yeah,<01:26:16.760> it's<01:26:17.040> like<01:26:17.200> those<01:26:17.360> celestial<01:26:17.880> beings<01:26:18.200> that<01:26:18.360> I<01:26:18.440> saw<01:26:18.880> in<01:26:19.040> the<01:26:19.160> experience,<01:26:20.320> uh<01:26:20.400> smaller<01:26:20.800> versions.

01:26:21.320 --> 01:26:24.840
So,<01:26:21.520> you're<01:26:21.760> you're<01:26:21.920> seeing<01:26:22.280> an<01:26:22.480> orb<01:26:22.840> of<01:26:23.000> light<01:26:23.320> in<01:26:23.440> the<01:26:23.520> sky<01:26:24.000> at<01:26:24.280> night.

01:26:24.840 --> 01:26:29.800
I<01:26:24.960> see<01:26:25.200> them<01:26:25.400> in<01:26:25.520> the<01:26:25.640> day,<01:26:25.880> too,<01:26:26.280> but<01:26:26.520> most<01:26:26.760> people<01:26:27.080> will<01:26:27.200> see<01:26:27.360> them<01:26:27.560> at<01:26:27.680> night,<01:26:28.360> recognize<01:26:29.000> them.

01:26:29.800 --> 01:26:34.440
The<01:26:29.840> interesting<01:26:30.360> thing<01:26:30.640> is<01:26:30.800> I<01:26:30.880> came<01:26:31.120> back<01:26:31.360> seeing<01:26:31.640> them<01:26:31.840> almost<01:26:32.200> immediately,<01:26:33.520> within<01:26:33.840> the<01:26:33.920> first<01:26:34.240> week.

01:26:34.440 --> 01:26:37.960
And<01:26:34.560> when<01:26:34.680> I<01:26:34.760> first<01:26:35.480> saw<01:26:35.720> them,<01:26:35.920> I<01:26:36.000> recognized<01:26:36.680> them<01:26:36.840> from<01:26:37.040> the<01:26:37.200> other<01:26:37.400> side.

01:26:37.960 --> 01:26:46.400
There<01:26:38.120> was<01:26:38.280> a<01:26:38.360> feeling<01:26:39.640> that<01:26:39.840> it<01:26:40.400> it<01:26:40.600> emits,<01:26:42.000> um<01:26:42.560> psychically,<01:26:43.240> I<01:26:43.320> guess,<01:26:43.680> for<01:26:43.840> me,<01:26:44.800> that<01:26:44.920> I<01:26:45.000> recognized,<01:26:45.880> "Oh,<01:26:46.040> hey,

01:26:46.400 --> 01:26:50.720
it's<01:26:46.640> like<01:26:46.960> I<01:26:47.040> know<01:26:47.440> you<01:26:48.440> uh<01:26:48.840> from<01:26:49.200> being<01:26:49.520> there."

01:26:50.720 --> 01:26:59.080
So,<01:26:51.040> I<01:26:51.160> think<01:26:51.480> it's<01:26:51.720> more<01:26:52.720> of<01:26:53.160> a<01:26:53.400> consciousness<01:26:54.080> manifestation<01:26:55.840> manifesting<01:26:56.480> in<01:26:56.600> a<01:26:56.680> way<01:26:57.000> that<01:26:57.160> allows<01:26:57.600> you<01:26:57.800> to<01:26:58.040> look<01:26:58.320> at<01:26:58.480> something<01:26:58.920> and

01:26:59.080 --> 01:27:07.800
say,<01:26:59.440> "Oh,<01:26:59.800> there<01:27:00.160> it<01:27:00.320> is."<01:27:01.800> Which<01:27:02.080> is<01:27:03.800> a<01:27:04.120> version<01:27:04.680> of<01:27:04.800> it<01:27:04.920> you<01:27:05.040> can<01:27:05.200> point<01:27:05.560> at<01:27:05.760> versus<01:27:06.120> the<01:27:06.240> understanding<01:27:06.760> that<01:27:07.000> everything,<01:27:07.600> your

01:27:07.800 --> 01:27:10.960
kitchen<01:27:08.240> table,<01:27:08.720> is<01:27:09.040> also<01:27:09.480> an<01:27:09.680> orb.

01:27:10.960 --> 01:27:13.480
Right?<01:27:11.200> Like<01:27:11.440> everything<01:27:12.040> here<01:27:12.480> is<01:27:12.640> an<01:27:12.840> orb.

01:27:13.480 --> 01:27:17.680
Your<01:27:13.680> shirt<01:27:14.120> is<01:27:14.280> an<01:27:14.440> orb.<01:27:15.480> Meaning<01:27:15.840> it<01:27:15.960> has<01:27:16.160> a<01:27:16.200> subtler<01:27:16.680> dimension<01:27:17.280> to<01:27:17.440> it.

01:27:17.680 --> 01:27:22.680
Yeah,<01:27:18.320> but<01:27:18.480> it's<01:27:18.600> a<01:27:18.640> lot<01:27:18.960> easier<01:27:19.240> to<01:27:19.360> point<01:27:19.600> at<01:27:19.720> the<01:27:20.000> the<01:27:20.160> thing<01:27:20.400> in<01:27:20.480> the<01:27:20.560> sky<01:27:20.920> where<01:27:21.080> you're<01:27:21.160> like,<01:27:21.400> "What<01:27:21.640> is<01:27:21.880> that?"

01:27:22.680 --> 01:27:26.920
Yeah.<01:27:23.000> Right?<01:27:23.240> So,<01:27:23.680> it's<01:27:25.080> it<01:27:25.240> manifests<01:27:25.800> in<01:27:25.920> different<01:27:26.280> ways.

01:27:26.920 --> 01:27:32.480
It<01:27:27.520> uh<01:27:27.600> I've<01:27:27.720> seen<01:27:27.960> those<01:27:28.240> orbs<01:27:28.800> show<01:27:29.000> up<01:27:29.160> as<01:27:29.320> many<01:27:29.680> different<01:27:30.120> things,<01:27:30.560> not<01:27:30.880> just<01:27:31.520> balls<01:27:31.880> of<01:27:32.040> light.

01:27:32.480 --> 01:27:41.160
I've<01:27:32.640> seen<01:27:32.880> them<01:27:33.080> turn<01:27:33.320> into<01:27:33.600> shadow<01:27:33.960> figures<01:27:34.600> and<01:27:34.880> turn<01:27:35.080> into<01:27:35.360> birds,<01:27:36.800> turn<01:27:37.000> into<01:27:37.280> rainbow<01:27:37.720> color,<01:27:38.840> disappear,<01:27:39.680> turn<01:27:39.960> into<01:27:41.000> uh

01:27:41.160 --> 01:27:46.760
clouds<01:27:41.800> of<01:27:42.040> white<01:27:42.440> smoke,<01:27:43.800> um<01:27:44.480> a<01:27:44.560> hundred<01:27:44.960> different<01:27:45.320> things.

01:27:46.760 --> 01:27:52.120
Which<01:27:46.920> is<01:27:47.080> why<01:27:47.320> I<01:27:47.360> don't<01:27:47.560> call<01:27:47.800> them,<01:27:48.240> you<01:27:48.360> know,<01:27:48.640> yes,<01:27:48.960> I'll<01:27:49.040> refer<01:27:49.360> to<01:27:49.480> them<01:27:49.640> as<01:27:49.760> orbs,<01:27:50.160> but<01:27:50.280> I<01:27:50.360> think<01:27:50.520> it's<01:27:50.640> more<01:27:50.800> of<01:27:50.880> a<01:27:50.920> consciousness<01:27:51.600> thing.

01:27:52.120 --> 01:27:58.760
It's<01:27:52.160> much<01:27:52.400> bigger.<01:27:52.800> You<01:27:52.880> think<01:27:53.080> they're<01:27:53.240> like<01:27:53.680> subtle<01:27:54.400> they<01:27:54.600> they<01:27:54.760> exist<01:27:55.120> primarily<01:27:55.640> in<01:27:55.760> a<01:27:55.800> subtler<01:27:56.200> dimension<01:27:56.800> and<01:27:56.960> we're<01:27:57.200> kind<01:27:57.440> of<01:27:57.520> seeing<01:27:57.800> them<01:27:57.920> indistinctly

01:27:58.760 --> 01:28:05.080
as<01:27:58.960> an<01:27:59.080> orb,<01:27:59.640> but<01:27:59.880> if<01:28:00.040> we<01:28:00.160> could<01:28:00.360> see<01:28:00.520> them<01:28:00.720> more<01:28:00.920> clearly,<01:28:01.440> we<01:28:01.600> might<01:28:01.920> see<01:28:02.160> more<01:28:02.400> detail<01:28:03.000> and<01:28:03.200> more<01:28:03.440> specificity?

01:28:05.080 --> 01:28:08.160
I<01:28:05.160> think<01:28:05.520> what<01:28:05.880> it's<01:28:06.560> it's<01:28:06.800> that<01:28:07.040> superintelligence.

01:28:08.160 --> 01:28:10.200
So,<01:28:08.320> it<01:28:08.440> allows<01:28:08.920> you<01:28:09.040> to<01:28:09.200> see<01:28:09.400> it.<01:28:10.040> Right?

01:28:10.200 --> 01:28:13.080
It's<01:28:10.400> it's<01:28:10.560> not<01:28:10.800> floating<01:28:11.240> around<01:28:11.720> just<01:28:11.920> for<01:28:12.040> fun.

01:28:13.080 --> 01:28:16.120
Must<01:28:13.280> be<01:28:13.360> some<01:28:13.600> reason<01:28:14.000> for<01:28:14.200> it<01:28:14.320> or<01:28:14.360> some<01:28:14.640> evolutionary<01:28:15.280> purpose.

01:28:16.120 --> 01:28:23.280
It's<01:28:16.440> for<01:28:16.600> you<01:28:16.760> to<01:28:16.880> see<01:28:17.200> it.<01:28:17.840> Um<01:28:18.160> I<01:28:18.280> do<01:28:18.520> know<01:28:18.720> like<01:28:18.920> when<01:28:19.080> I<01:28:19.160> show<01:28:19.480> them<01:28:19.720> to<01:28:19.840> people,<01:28:20.560> I<01:28:20.640> will<01:28:20.800> take<01:28:21.000> somebody<01:28:21.320> out<01:28:21.440> who's<01:28:21.600> never<01:28:21.880> seen<01:28:22.120> one<01:28:22.280> before.

01:28:23.280 --> 01:28:26.440
I<01:28:23.400> know<01:28:23.640> when<01:28:23.800> they're<01:28:23.960> coming,<01:28:24.480> they<01:28:24.600> will<01:28:24.720> tell<01:28:24.960> me<01:28:25.120> if<01:28:25.280> I<01:28:25.360> should<01:28:25.560> take<01:28:25.720> this<01:28:25.920> person<01:28:26.280> out.

01:28:26.440 --> 01:28:29.320
I<01:28:26.480> take<01:28:26.720> them<01:28:26.920> out<01:28:27.200> and<01:28:27.280> then<01:28:27.400> they<01:28:27.560> see<01:28:27.840> the<01:28:28.040> orbs.

01:28:29.320 --> 01:28:34.960
And<01:28:29.440> it's<01:28:29.600> like<01:28:29.800> seeing<01:28:30.200> something<01:28:30.640> for<01:28:30.760> the<01:28:30.840> first<01:28:31.200> time<01:28:31.920> and<01:28:32.040> then<01:28:32.200> they<01:28:32.360> find<01:28:32.680> that<01:28:32.800> they<01:28:33.040> can<01:28:33.200> see<01:28:33.440> them<01:28:33.600> now<01:28:33.880> on<01:28:34.000> their<01:28:34.240> own.

01:28:34.960 --> 01:28:38.280
Okay.<01:28:35.400> So<01:28:35.720> it's<01:28:36.120> it's<01:28:36.280> a<01:28:36.400> recognition<01:28:37.320> that<01:28:37.480> it's<01:28:37.680> there.

01:28:38.280 --> 01:28:42.200
Now<01:28:38.520> that<01:28:38.680> I<01:28:38.720> can<01:28:38.920> see<01:28:39.120> it,<01:28:39.360> I<01:28:39.440> know<01:28:39.840> oh<01:28:39.960> wait,<01:28:40.320> it's<01:28:40.440> probably<01:28:40.880> always<01:28:41.240> been<01:28:41.440> there.

01:28:42.200 --> 01:28:44.400
Yeah.<01:28:43.120> I<01:28:43.200> had<01:28:43.320> a<01:28:43.360> thing<01:28:43.560> like<01:28:43.760> that<01:28:43.960> one<01:28:44.160> time.

01:28:44.400 --> 01:28:47.800
This<01:28:44.600> is<01:28:44.720> like<01:28:44.880> 1973,<01:28:46.200> probably<01:28:46.560> before<01:28:46.880> you<01:28:46.960> were<01:28:47.080> born.

01:28:47.800 --> 01:28:50.760
And<01:28:48.040> I<01:28:48.120> was<01:28:48.280> giving<01:28:48.560> a<01:28:48.640> meditation<01:28:49.320> lecture<01:28:49.720> and<01:28:49.880> there<01:28:49.960> was<01:28:50.120> a<01:28:50.160> snowstorm.

01:28:50.760 --> 01:28:55.320
So<01:28:50.920> only<01:28:51.160> two<01:28:51.320> people<01:28:51.640> showed<01:28:51.920> up<01:28:52.320> and<01:28:52.480> one<01:28:52.680> was<01:28:52.840> sitting<01:28:53.120> on<01:28:53.280> one<01:28:53.480> side<01:28:53.760> and<01:28:53.880> one<01:28:54.000> was<01:28:54.160> sitting<01:28:54.400> on<01:28:54.520> the<01:28:54.640> other<01:28:54.840> side.

01:28:55.320 --> 01:28:59.840
So<01:28:55.480> as<01:28:55.680> I<01:28:55.760> was<01:28:55.960> talking,<01:28:56.360> I<01:28:56.440> was<01:28:56.560> looking<01:28:56.800> at<01:28:56.920> this<01:28:57.080> person<01:28:57.760> and<01:28:57.920> looking<01:28:58.160> at<01:28:58.240> this<01:28:58.440> person,<01:28:58.840> going<01:28:59.040> back<01:28:59.240> and<01:28:59.320> forth.

01:28:59.840 --> 01:29:05.280
And<01:28:59.960> all<01:29:00.080> of<01:29:00.160> a<01:29:00.200> sudden<01:29:00.400> I<01:29:00.440> felt<01:29:00.680> like<01:29:00.880> another<01:29:01.200> person<01:29:01.560> had<01:29:01.720> entered<01:29:02.000> the<01:29:02.080> room<01:29:02.400> and<01:29:02.560> I<01:29:02.640> looked<01:29:02.880> to<01:29:03.000> the<01:29:03.120> center<01:29:03.960> and<01:29:04.120> there<01:29:04.240> was<01:29:04.400> an<01:29:04.560> orb.

01:29:05.280 --> 01:29:12.960
Like<01:29:05.640> right<01:29:05.840> there,<01:29:06.160> kind<01:29:06.440> of<01:29:06.520> and<01:29:06.680> it<01:29:06.800> felt<01:29:07.000> like<01:29:07.640> a<01:29:07.720> conscious<01:29:08.160> being<01:29:08.560> that<01:29:09.560> I<01:29:10.200> I<01:29:10.440> you<01:29:10.560> know,<01:29:10.720> it<01:29:10.800> was<01:29:10.920> conscious<01:29:11.240> of<01:29:11.320> me,<01:29:11.480> I<01:29:11.560> was<01:29:11.720> conscious<01:29:12.040> of<01:29:12.120> it,<01:29:12.320> it<01:29:12.440> knew<01:29:12.680> I<01:29:12.760> was

01:29:12.960 --> 01:29:15.200
conscious<01:29:13.320> of<01:29:13.440> it<01:29:13.920> and<01:29:14.000> it<01:29:14.080> was<01:29:14.160> like,<01:29:14.560> "Hello."

01:29:15.200 --> 01:29:17.306
And<01:29:15.360> then<01:29:15.480> I<01:29:15.560> just<01:29:15.720> kind<01:29:15.880> of<01:29:15.960> went<01:29:16.160> on<01:29:16.240> with<01:29:16.360> my<01:29:16.480> lecture.<01:29:17.080> Yeah.

01:29:17.306 --> 01:29:19.320
[laughter]<01:29:17.600> Yeah.<01:29:18.400> That's<01:29:18.640> how<01:29:18.760> it<01:29:18.880> is.

01:29:19.320 --> 01:29:21.120
I<01:29:19.640> It'll<01:29:19.880> show<01:29:20.120> up<01:29:20.320> in<01:29:20.440> rooms<01:29:20.800> with<01:29:20.960> me.

01:29:21.120 --> 01:29:24.520
Sometimes<01:29:21.560> it<01:29:21.640> gives<01:29:21.880> me<01:29:21.960> a<01:29:22.000> message,<01:29:22.480> sometimes<01:29:22.880> it<01:29:22.960> just<01:29:23.160> wants<01:29:23.360> me<01:29:23.480> to<01:29:23.600> see<01:29:23.840> it.

01:29:24.520 --> 01:29:28.400
I<01:29:25.040> I<01:29:25.240> oftentimes<01:29:25.880> say<01:29:26.120> the<01:29:26.320> experience<01:29:26.960> is<01:29:27.120> the<01:29:27.240> message.

01:29:28.400 --> 01:29:30.720
Right?<01:29:28.640> We<01:29:28.800> always<01:29:29.080> like,<01:29:29.280> "Well,<01:29:29.400> I<01:29:29.480> saw<01:29:29.800> it.<01:29:29.920> What's<01:29:30.160> the<01:29:30.280> message?"

01:29:30.720 --> 01:29:34.480
And<01:29:30.800> I'm<01:29:30.880> like,<01:29:31.040> "No,<01:29:31.200> the<01:29:31.320> experience<01:29:31.880> was<01:29:32.120> the<01:29:32.200> message.<01:29:32.560> It's<01:29:32.720> showing<01:29:33.080> you<01:29:33.240> that<01:29:33.480> there's<01:29:33.680> more."

01:29:34.480 --> 01:29:37.840
Yeah.<01:29:34.640> It's<01:29:34.760> showing<01:29:35.120> you<01:29:35.320> that<01:29:35.480> there's<01:29:35.640> a<01:29:35.760> lot<01:29:36.160> more<01:29:36.440> here<01:29:36.800> than<01:29:37.000> you<01:29:37.120> understand.

01:29:37.840 --> 01:29:40.680
It's<01:29:38.040> kind<01:29:38.200> of<01:29:38.320> can<01:29:38.480> you<01:29:38.920> can<01:29:39.080> you<01:29:39.240> open<01:29:39.560> up<01:29:39.720> to<01:29:39.840> that?

01:29:40.680 --> 01:29:48.160
Do<01:29:40.760> you<01:29:40.840> think<01:29:40.960> it's<01:29:41.080> worth<01:29:41.320> people's<01:29:41.720> while<01:29:42.080> to<01:29:42.240> try<01:29:42.600> to<01:29:42.760> see<01:29:42.960> them<01:29:43.240> or<01:29:44.160> I<01:29:44.280> had<01:29:44.440> another<01:29:44.760> friend<01:29:45.080> who<01:29:45.240> used<01:29:45.440> to<01:29:45.560> see<01:29:45.760> angels<01:29:46.400> and<01:29:46.840> we<01:29:46.960> were<01:29:47.040> in<01:29:47.160> an<01:29:47.280> elevator<01:29:47.760> in<01:29:47.840> the<01:29:47.920> San

01:29:48.160 --> 01:29:52.960
Francisco<01:29:48.640> airport<01:29:49.000> and<01:29:49.080> he<01:29:49.160> had<01:29:49.240> just<01:29:49.440> told<01:29:49.600> me<01:29:49.680> about<01:29:49.960> this<01:29:50.560> and<01:29:50.920> I<01:29:51.040> said,<01:29:51.320> "Hey,<01:29:51.480> are<01:29:51.560> there<01:29:51.680> any<01:29:51.840> in<01:29:51.920> the<01:29:52.040> elevator<01:29:52.440> here?"

01:29:52.960 --> 01:29:59.480
And<01:29:53.360> and<01:29:53.560> he<01:29:53.720> was<01:29:54.080> he<01:29:54.200> was<01:29:54.320> like<01:29:54.520> smiled<01:29:54.960> and<01:29:55.040> we<01:29:55.160> got<01:29:55.360> out<01:29:55.440> of<01:29:55.520> the<01:29:55.600> elevator<01:29:56.000> and<01:29:56.080> he<01:29:56.160> said,<01:29:56.560> "They<01:29:56.680> just<01:29:56.880> said<01:29:57.120> to<01:29:57.200> me,<01:29:58.040> 'Don't<01:29:58.520> tell<01:29:58.800> people<01:29:59.080> about<01:29:59.360> us.

01:29:59.480 --> 01:30:05.600
If<01:29:59.560> they're<01:29:59.680> meant<01:29:59.920> to<01:30:00.000> see<01:30:00.200> us,<01:30:00.440> they'll<01:30:00.680> see<01:30:00.920> us.'<01:30:01.520> And<01:30:01.640> then<01:30:01.720> he<01:30:01.800> said,<01:30:02.200> 'By<01:30:02.360> the<01:30:02.480> way,<01:30:02.600> there<01:30:02.760> were<01:30:02.840> three.'"

01:30:05.600 --> 01:30:10.960
That's<01:30:05.942> [clears<01:30:06.283> throat]<01:30:06.625> great.<01:30:06.966> Um<01:30:07.308> I<01:30:07.649> don't<01:30:07.991> tell<01:30:08.332> people<01:30:08.674> to<01:30:09.015> go<01:30:09.357> looking<01:30:09.698> for<01:30:10.040> them.

01:30:10.960 --> 01:30:15.400
I<01:30:12.360> I<01:30:12.520> know<01:30:12.800> that<01:30:13.000> they<01:30:13.200> show<01:30:13.480> up<01:30:13.640> when<01:30:13.800> you're<01:30:13.960> were<01:30:14.080> ready.

01:30:15.400 --> 01:30:17.720
It's<01:30:15.720> it's<01:30:15.880> more<01:30:16.120> about<01:30:16.680> a<01:30:16.720> state<01:30:17.200> again.

01:30:17.720 --> 01:30:24.600
Are<01:30:17.880> you<01:30:18.040> in<01:30:18.160> the<01:30:18.280> state<01:30:18.720> to<01:30:18.800> be<01:30:18.920> able<01:30:19.080> to<01:30:19.200> see<01:30:19.360> them,<01:30:19.560> because<01:30:19.880> the<01:30:19.960> part<01:30:20.200> of<01:30:20.280> you<01:30:20.360> that<01:30:20.560> really<01:30:20.960> wants<01:30:21.360> to<01:30:21.480> go<01:30:21.640> see<01:30:21.880> them<01:30:22.160> is<01:30:22.360> not<01:30:22.680> in<01:30:22.800> the<01:30:22.880> state<01:30:23.240> to<01:30:23.360> receive<01:30:23.760> them.

01:30:24.600 --> 01:30:29.360
Yeah,<01:30:25.120> like<01:30:25.320> you<01:30:25.440> said.<01:30:25.720> So<01:30:25.840> if<01:30:25.920> they're<01:30:26.080> meant<01:30:26.280> to<01:30:26.400> see<01:30:26.480> if<01:30:26.640> they're<01:30:26.760> meant<01:30:26.920> to<01:30:27.000> see<01:30:27.120> us,<01:30:27.240> they'll<01:30:27.400> see<01:30:27.600> us.

01:30:29.360 --> 01:30:38.120
Okay.<01:30:30.200> Next<01:30:30.440> question.<01:30:31.040> Um,<01:30:32.640> you<01:30:32.800> say<01:30:33.000> that<01:30:33.160> there's<01:30:33.400> a<01:30:33.440> split<01:30:33.960> happening<01:30:34.360> in<01:30:34.440> the<01:30:34.520> world<01:30:34.760> today<01:30:35.000> between<01:30:35.360> spiritual<01:30:35.960> and<01:30:36.080> non-spiritual<01:30:36.760> people.

01:30:38.120 --> 01:30:43.720
How<01:30:38.360> do<01:30:38.560> you<01:30:38.760> see<01:30:39.120> the<01:30:39.320> change<01:30:39.840> in<01:30:39.960> society<01:30:40.640> unfolding<01:30:41.440> in<01:30:41.560> the<01:30:41.640> coming<01:30:42.000> years?

01:30:43.720 --> 01:30:47.960
Oh,<01:30:44.520> I'm<01:30:44.680> not<01:30:44.800> going<01:30:44.920> to<01:30:45.000> get<01:30:45.240> into<01:30:45.840> too<01:30:46.000> much<01:30:46.360> into<01:30:46.720> what<01:30:46.920> I've<01:30:47.080> seen.

01:30:47.960 --> 01:30:52.120
Um,<01:30:48.920> I'll<01:30:49.040> tell<01:30:49.240> you<01:30:49.360> this.<01:30:50.080> You're<01:30:50.240> watching<01:30:50.560> it<01:30:50.680> manifest<01:30:51.160> now.

01:30:52.120 --> 01:30:54.520
You're<01:30:52.600> watching<01:30:52.960> the<01:30:53.040> separation<01:30:53.600> of<01:30:53.720> two<01:30:53.880> groups<01:30:54.160> of<01:30:54.240> people.

01:30:54.520 --> 01:31:00.440
You're<01:30:54.640> watching<01:30:54.960> spiritual<01:30:55.440> people<01:30:55.720> become<01:30:56.040> more<01:30:56.200> spiritual<01:30:56.760> and<01:30:56.880> you're<01:30:57.040> watching<01:30:57.520> those<01:30:57.840> who<01:30:58.000> seek<01:30:58.360> more<01:30:58.720> just<01:30:59.000> seeking<01:30:59.400> more.

01:31:00.440 --> 01:31:05.200
Right.<01:31:00.880> Where<01:31:01.040> that<01:31:01.320> ends<01:31:01.600> up<01:31:01.800> in<01:31:01.920> society,<01:31:03.120> um,<01:31:04.200> I've<01:31:04.400> seen<01:31:04.560> a<01:31:04.600> couple<01:31:04.920> things.

01:31:05.200 --> 01:31:13.880
I've<01:31:05.320> seen<01:31:06.080> a<01:31:06.120> glorious<01:31:06.840> new<01:31:07.040> beginning,<01:31:07.600> but<01:31:07.800> I've<01:31:07.960> also<01:31:08.240> seen<01:31:08.560> the<01:31:08.760> absolute<01:31:09.880> opposite,<01:31:10.880> which<01:31:11.160> is<01:31:11.600> a<01:31:11.720> really<01:31:12.080> rough<01:31:12.360> time<01:31:12.600> ahead<01:31:12.800> of<01:31:12.920> us.

01:31:13.880 --> 01:31:15.800
You<01:31:14.040> think<01:31:14.240> it<01:31:14.360> could<01:31:14.560> be<01:31:14.800> both<01:31:15.240> or<01:31:15.480> either?

01:31:15.800 --> 01:31:22.000
Could<01:31:15.960> we<01:31:16.080> go<01:31:16.240> through<01:31:16.400> a<01:31:16.440> rough<01:31:16.680> time<01:31:17.000> in<01:31:17.120> order<01:31:17.360> to<01:31:17.520> get<01:31:17.760> to<01:31:17.880> the<01:31:17.960> glorious<01:31:18.360> beginning<01:31:19.000> or<01:31:19.560> could<01:31:19.760> it<01:31:19.880> be<01:31:20.000> a<01:31:20.080> fork<01:31:20.400> in<01:31:20.480> the<01:31:20.600> road<01:31:20.920> where<01:31:21.120> it's<01:31:21.280> one<01:31:21.440> of<01:31:21.520> the<01:31:21.640> other<01:31:21.880> for

01:31:22.000 --> 01:31:28.120
a<01:31:22.080> thousand<01:31:22.520> years<01:31:22.800> or<01:31:22.920> something?<01:31:23.720> It's<01:31:23.960> appearing<01:31:25.240> more<01:31:25.600> and<01:31:25.720> more<01:31:25.920> like<01:31:26.120> it'll<01:31:26.280> be<01:31:26.440> a<01:31:26.480> fork<01:31:26.800> in<01:31:26.920> the<01:31:27.000> road.

01:31:28.120 --> 01:31:32.800
Okay.<01:31:28.880> Now<01:31:29.040> you<01:31:29.120> know<01:31:29.240> certain<01:31:29.640> fundamentalist<01:31:30.440> Christian<01:31:30.800> groups<01:31:31.080> say,<01:31:31.280> "Okay,<01:31:32.000> we're<01:31:32.160> going<01:31:32.360> to<01:31:32.440> heaven."

01:31:32.800 --> 01:31:35.760
Everybody<01:31:33.080> else<01:31:33.240> is<01:31:33.360> going<01:31:33.480> to<01:31:33.560> stay<01:31:33.720> on<01:31:33.840> Earth<01:31:34.000> and<01:31:34.080> get<01:31:34.240> tortured<01:31:34.720> for<01:31:34.840> a<01:31:34.920> long<01:31:35.160> time."

01:31:35.760 --> 01:31:42.680
Uh,<01:31:36.480> which<01:31:36.680> is<01:31:36.800> a<01:31:36.840> rather<01:31:37.120> simplistic<01:31:37.800> way<01:31:38.000> of<01:31:38.120> interpreting<01:31:38.680> what<01:31:38.880> we're<01:31:39.040> saying<01:31:39.520> here,<01:31:39.760> but<01:31:40.840> what<01:31:41.000> would<01:31:41.160> your<01:31:41.320> take<01:31:41.640> on<01:31:41.760> it<01:31:41.880> be?

01:31:42.680 --> 01:31:45.680
Uh,<01:31:43.200> I<01:31:43.360> would<01:31:43.520> say<01:31:43.680> there's<01:31:43.920> a<01:31:43.960> possible<01:31:44.520> version<01:31:45.000> of<01:31:45.120> that,<01:31:45.400> right?

01:31:45.680 --> 01:31:48.120
Like<01:31:45.920> if<01:31:46.080> you're<01:31:47.080> let's<01:31:47.360> take<01:31:47.600> today.

01:31:48.120 --> 01:31:53.000
If<01:31:48.360> you're<01:31:48.560> today<01:31:49.240> worried<01:31:49.680> about<01:31:49.920> everything<01:31:50.320> in<01:31:50.400> the<01:31:50.520> world,<01:31:51.040> you're<01:31:51.280> causing<01:31:51.760> your<01:31:51.960> own<01:31:52.120> hell.

01:31:53.000 --> 01:32:00.640
Right?<01:31:53.360> But<01:31:53.520> if<01:31:53.640> you're<01:31:53.760> sitting<01:31:54.040> in<01:31:54.120> the<01:31:54.200> space<01:31:54.480> of<01:31:54.600> love<01:31:54.840> right<01:31:55.000> now<01:31:55.240> realizing<01:31:55.840> that<01:31:56.000> that's<01:31:56.200> found<01:31:56.440> within<01:31:56.840> and<01:31:56.960> is<01:31:57.160> not<01:31:57.440> found<01:31:57.720> within<01:31:58.040> in<01:31:58.320> external<01:31:58.840> circumstances,

01:32:00.640 --> 01:32:03.200
then<01:32:00.840> you're<01:32:01.120> almost<01:32:01.520> freeing<01:32:01.800> yourself<01:32:02.320> of<01:32:02.480> it.

01:32:03.200 --> 01:32:07.520
Um,<01:32:04.200> I<01:32:04.360> don't<01:32:04.760> see<01:32:05.720> people<01:32:06.280> want<01:32:06.480> to<01:32:06.560> think<01:32:06.840> of<01:32:06.960> it<01:32:07.080> backwards.

01:32:07.520 --> 01:32:12.640
They'll<01:32:07.680> think<01:32:08.000> external<01:32:08.640> to<01:32:09.040> internal<01:32:09.760> and<01:32:09.880> I<01:32:09.960> will<01:32:10.080> say<01:32:10.240> it's<01:32:10.440> internal<01:32:11.080> to<01:32:11.440> external.

01:32:12.640 --> 01:32:19.280
So,<01:32:12.920> your<01:32:13.160> internal<01:32:13.640> state<01:32:13.960> is<01:32:15.000> projected<01:32:15.560> out<01:32:16.040> into<01:32:16.280> the<01:32:16.360> world<01:32:16.680> versus<01:32:17.040> well,<01:32:17.200> that's<01:32:17.520> happening<01:32:18.000> and<01:32:18.160> that<01:32:18.360> affects<01:32:18.760> me.

01:32:19.280 --> 01:32:22.360
So,<01:32:19.560> it<01:32:19.720> really<01:32:20.040> depends<01:32:20.480> on<01:32:20.720> what's<01:32:21.040> happening<01:32:21.440> out<01:32:21.640> there.

01:32:22.360 --> 01:32:25.400
And<01:32:22.480> I<01:32:22.520> will<01:32:22.640> say<01:32:22.800> flip<01:32:23.280> that<01:32:23.640> quickly.<01:32:24.320> Flip<01:32:24.640> it.

01:32:25.400 --> 01:32:31.200
Get<01:32:25.600> to<01:32:25.680> the<01:32:25.800> point<01:32:26.200> where<01:32:27.160> you<01:32:27.400> can<01:32:27.600> walk<01:32:27.840> into<01:32:28.120> the<01:32:28.440> any<01:32:28.680> room<01:32:28.920> in<01:32:29.000> your<01:32:29.160> house<01:32:29.440> and<01:32:29.560> just<01:32:29.720> feel<01:32:30.160> love.

01:32:31.200 --> 01:32:33.808
Just<01:32:31.440> feel<01:32:31.640> love<01:32:32.000> just<01:32:32.240> for<01:32:32.320> the<01:32:32.440> sake<01:32:32.680> of<01:32:32.760> feeling<01:32:33.040> it.

01:32:33.808 --> 01:32:40.080
[clears<01:32:34.058> throat]<01:32:34.308> Would<01:32:34.558> you<01:32:34.808> say<01:32:35.058> that<01:32:35.309> the<01:32:35.559> overall<01:32:35.809> condition<01:32:36.059> of<01:32:36.309> the<01:32:36.559> world<01:32:36.809> is<01:32:37.059> an<01:32:37.309> expression<01:32:37.559> or<01:32:37.809> a<01:32:38.059> manifestation<01:32:38.310> of<01:32:38.560> the<01:32:38.810> internal<01:32:39.060> state<01:32:39.310> of<01:32:39.560> all

01:32:40.080 --> 01:32:47.560
eight<01:32:40.240> billion<01:32:40.600> of<01:32:40.720> us<01:32:41.040> taken<01:32:41.360> collectively?<01:32:42.720> I<01:32:42.880> was<01:32:43.080> shown<01:32:43.360> that<01:32:43.480> it<01:32:43.600> is<01:32:43.760> based<01:32:44.080> on<01:32:44.240> that<01:32:44.440> state<01:32:44.880> that<01:32:45.040> I<01:32:45.120> talked<01:32:45.400> about<01:32:45.640> on<01:32:45.760> free<01:32:46.000> will.

01:32:47.560 --> 01:32:52.080
So,<01:32:47.800> if<01:32:48.040> everybody<01:32:48.560> wakes<01:32:48.880> up<01:32:49.080> to<01:32:49.200> the<01:32:49.320> love<01:32:49.600> that<01:32:49.760> they<01:32:49.960> are<01:32:50.160> right<01:32:50.400> now,<01:32:50.680> the<01:32:50.800> world<01:32:51.080> changes.

01:32:52.080 --> 01:32:58.000
We<01:32:52.200> could<01:32:52.400> say<01:32:52.640> instantly,<01:32:53.240> but<01:32:53.520> I<01:32:53.600> was<01:32:53.760> also<01:32:54.040> shown<01:32:54.280> that<01:32:54.400> if<01:32:54.520> every<01:32:54.880> everybody<01:32:55.400> did<01:32:55.640> wake<01:32:55.840> up,<01:32:56.000> the<01:32:56.120> whole<01:32:56.520> exercise<01:32:57.120> stops.

01:32:58.000 --> 01:33:01.440
It's<01:32:58.200> over.<01:32:59.360> The<01:32:59.400> whole<01:32:59.640> world<01:32:59.920> would<01:33:00.040> dissolve<01:33:00.800> or<01:33:00.920> something?

01:33:01.440 --> 01:33:04.520
Yeah,<01:33:01.880> this<01:33:02.160> only<01:33:02.440> exists<01:33:02.880> for<01:33:03.000> contrast.

01:33:04.520 --> 01:33:07.040
So,<01:33:04.680> it's<01:33:04.800> kind<01:33:05.040> of<01:33:05.160> like<01:33:05.400> if<01:33:05.520> there<01:33:05.640> are<01:33:05.680> no<01:33:05.880> school<01:33:06.280> texts,<01:33:06.800> right?

01:33:07.040 --> 01:33:10.440
Your<01:33:07.160> school<01:33:07.520> book,<01:33:07.840> your<01:33:07.960> math<01:33:08.280> book.<01:33:09.040> Do<01:33:09.080> you<01:33:09.160> use<01:33:09.520> books<01:33:09.760> in<01:33:09.840> school<01:33:10.120> anymore?

01:33:10.440 --> 01:33:15.800
But<01:33:11.280> your<01:33:11.440> math<01:33:11.840> book<01:33:12.920> your<01:33:13.080> math<01:33:13.400> book<01:33:13.640> is<01:33:13.840> the<01:33:13.920> contrast<01:33:14.600> to<01:33:14.680> go,<01:33:14.880> "I<01:33:15.040> hate<01:33:15.360> math."

01:33:15.800 --> 01:33:18.120
But<01:33:15.960> if<01:33:16.040> there's<01:33:16.240> no<01:33:16.440> books,<01:33:16.760> there's<01:33:16.960> no<01:33:17.120> school,<01:33:17.600> you're<01:33:17.800> out.

01:33:18.120 --> 01:33:26.840
There's<01:33:18.320> no<01:33:18.440> reason<01:33:18.720> to<01:33:18.840> be<01:33:19.040> there.<01:33:19.360> So,<01:33:20.320> it's<01:33:20.720> it's<01:33:20.880> about<01:33:21.240> your<01:33:21.520> state<01:33:22.400> individually,<01:33:23.520> your<01:33:23.800> state,<01:33:24.400> knowing<01:33:24.840> that<01:33:25.040> your<01:33:25.200> state<01:33:25.440> affects<01:33:25.800> the<01:33:25.880> whole.

01:33:26.840 --> 01:33:33.920
Yeah.<01:33:27.440> But<01:33:27.600> this<01:33:27.800> whole<01:33:27.960> thing<01:33:28.160> of<01:33:28.280> everybody<01:33:28.720> in<01:33:28.800> the<01:33:28.880> world<01:33:29.160> waking<01:33:29.520> up<01:33:29.720> all<01:33:29.840> of<01:33:29.920> a<01:33:29.960> sudden<01:33:30.200> is<01:33:30.320> a<01:33:30.400> bit<01:33:30.600> of<01:33:30.680> a<01:33:30.760> moot<01:33:31.000> point<01:33:31.320> cuz<01:33:31.760> no<01:33:32.280> everybody<01:33:32.760> never<01:33:33.120> does<01:33:33.360> everything

01:33:33.920 --> 01:33:41.080
all<01:33:34.080> of<01:33:34.160> a<01:33:34.200> sudden.<01:33:34.600> There's<01:33:34.840> always<01:33:35.160> a<01:33:35.240> kind<01:33:35.480> of<01:33:35.600> a<01:33:36.320> it's<01:33:36.560> it's<01:33:36.800> too<01:33:37.000> big<01:33:37.240> of<01:33:37.400> a<01:33:37.600> too<01:33:37.760> big<01:33:37.920> of<01:33:38.040> a<01:33:38.760> ocean<01:33:39.120> liner<01:33:39.400> to<01:33:39.560> turn<01:33:40.000> suddenly<01:33:40.440> like<01:33:40.680> that.

01:33:41.080 --> 01:33:43.120
Yeah.<01:33:41.560> Yeah.<01:33:42.760> Yeah.

01:33:43.120 --> 01:33:48.600
Okay,<01:33:43.360> here's<01:33:43.560> a<01:33:43.640> question<01:33:44.000> from<01:33:44.240> Tanya<01:33:44.680> Craig<01:33:45.280> in<01:33:45.400> New<01:33:45.600> South<01:33:45.920> Wales,<01:33:46.640> um,<01:33:47.120> Australia.

01:33:48.600 --> 01:33:51.520
I've<01:33:48.760> listened<01:33:49.040> to<01:33:49.160> many<01:33:49.360> of<01:33:49.440> your<01:33:49.560> talks<01:33:49.960> and<01:33:50.120> resonate<01:33:50.600> with<01:33:50.760> them.

01:33:51.520 --> 01:33:59.040
The<01:33:51.600> question<01:33:52.040> is,<01:33:52.520> if<01:33:52.680> you<01:33:52.840> know<01:33:53.160> whether<01:33:53.480> the<01:33:53.600> knowledge<01:33:54.080> you<01:33:54.200> were<01:33:54.320> given<01:33:54.800> or<01:33:55.000> have<01:33:55.200> access<01:33:55.560> to<01:33:55.800> is<01:33:56.080> right<01:33:56.400> or<01:33:56.520> true<01:33:56.840> for<01:33:57.080> everyone<01:33:57.600> and<01:33:57.760> all<01:33:57.920> situations.

01:33:59.040 --> 01:34:07.040
Given<01:33:59.280> that<01:33:59.440> NDEs<01:34:00.000> do<01:34:00.200> differ<01:34:00.680> and<01:34:00.880> different<01:34:01.240> truths<01:34:01.920> on<01:34:02.040> the<01:34:02.120> same<01:34:02.360> subject<01:34:02.800> are<01:34:02.840> provided,<01:34:03.800> is<01:34:04.040> there<01:34:04.360> ultimate<01:34:04.800> truth<01:34:05.320> that<01:34:05.480> can<01:34:05.640> be<01:34:05.760> imparted?

01:34:07.040 --> 01:34:13.760
I<01:34:07.080> guess<01:34:07.280> she's<01:34:07.480> saying<01:34:07.840> different<01:34:08.240> NDEers<01:34:08.920> might<01:34:09.120> have<01:34:09.240> different<01:34:09.600> spins<01:34:10.240> on<01:34:10.440> knowledge<01:34:11.040> and<01:34:11.480> you<01:34:11.600> know<01:34:12.560> Go<01:34:12.760> ahead.

01:34:13.760 --> 01:34:16.240
Yeah,<01:34:14.000> for<01:34:14.160> me<01:34:14.400> it's<01:34:14.600> less<01:34:14.840> about<01:34:15.640> knowledge.

01:34:16.240 --> 01:34:23.480
I<01:34:16.280> mean<01:34:16.440> people<01:34:16.720> will<01:34:16.880> call<01:34:17.120> what<01:34:17.240> I<01:34:17.280> come<01:34:17.480> back<01:34:17.760> with<01:34:17.920> as<01:34:18.080> knowledge<01:34:18.520> and<01:34:18.640> I'll<01:34:18.760> say<01:34:19.080> I<01:34:19.320> I<01:34:19.400> just<01:34:19.640> come<01:34:19.760> back<01:34:20.000> with<01:34:20.120> an<01:34:20.240> understanding<01:34:21.240> that<01:34:22.040> the<01:34:22.160> basis<01:34:22.680> of<01:34:22.920> everything

01:34:23.480 --> 01:34:29.320
here<01:34:23.680> is<01:34:23.960> is<01:34:24.200> love.<01:34:25.200> And<01:34:25.600> so<01:34:26.000> if<01:34:26.200> you<01:34:26.320> want<01:34:26.560> to<01:34:26.680> break<01:34:27.000> that<01:34:27.240> up<01:34:27.440> into<01:34:27.760> more<01:34:28.000> manageable<01:34:28.560> pieces,<01:34:29.080> right?

01:34:29.320 --> 01:34:32.760
The<01:34:29.400> best<01:34:29.640> way<01:34:29.720> to<01:34:29.880> eat<01:34:30.040> an<01:34:30.160> elephant<01:34:30.640> is<01:34:30.840> one<01:34:31.000> bite<01:34:31.240> at<01:34:31.360> a<01:34:31.400> time.

01:34:32.760 --> 01:34:41.160
If<01:34:32.920> you<01:34:33.040> want<01:34:33.160> to<01:34:33.240> go<01:34:33.400> about<01:34:33.720> it<01:34:33.800> from<01:34:34.040> every<01:34:34.320> different<01:34:34.640> angle<01:34:34.960> until<01:34:35.240> you<01:34:35.440> find<01:34:35.840> something<01:34:36.400> that<01:34:36.560> allows<01:34:36.960> you<01:34:37.120> to<01:34:37.400> experience<01:34:38.080> the<01:34:38.160> love<01:34:38.480> of<01:34:38.640> which<01:34:38.840> you<01:34:39.040> are<01:34:39.720> and<01:34:39.880> experience

01:34:41.160 --> 01:34:46.920
everything<01:34:41.640> around<01:34:42.160> you<01:34:42.280> as<01:34:42.480> a<01:34:42.560> loving<01:34:43.080> gift<01:34:43.600> that<01:34:43.800> it<01:34:43.920> is,<01:34:44.280> then<01:34:44.480> I<01:34:44.520> would<01:34:44.680> say<01:34:45.040> it<01:34:45.320> is<01:34:45.560> for<01:34:45.760> everyone.

01:34:46.920 --> 01:34:50.440
But<01:34:47.080> I<01:34:47.120> was<01:34:47.320> told<01:34:47.600> on<01:34:47.720> the<01:34:47.800> other<01:34:47.960> side<01:34:48.200> that<01:34:48.360> it<01:34:48.480> is<01:34:48.680> not<01:34:49.240> for<01:34:49.480> everyone.

01:34:50.440 --> 01:34:52.640
You<01:34:50.520> know,<01:34:50.680> that<01:34:50.840> was<01:34:51.040> one<01:34:51.200> of<01:34:51.280> the<01:34:51.360> warnings<01:34:51.800> I<01:34:51.880> was<01:34:52.040> giving.

01:34:52.640 --> 01:35:00.640
Oh,<01:34:52.880> the<01:34:53.000> one<01:34:53.240> and<01:34:53.360> the<01:34:53.480> 99<01:34:54.080> thing.<01:34:54.360> Yeah,<01:34:54.480> it's<01:34:54.680> for<01:34:54.800> the<01:34:54.920> one<01:34:55.120> not<01:34:55.320> the<01:34:55.400> 99<01:34:56.000> and<01:34:56.120> that<01:34:56.280> was<01:34:56.400> a<01:34:56.480> multi-dimensional<01:34:57.400> message<01:34:57.880> that<01:34:58.040> I<01:34:58.080> didn't<01:34:58.320> realize<01:34:58.800> until<01:34:59.120> I<01:34:59.200> returned.

01:35:00.640 --> 01:35:07.200
Which<01:35:00.880> is<01:35:01.560> it's<01:35:01.800> for<01:35:01.960> the<01:35:02.120> one,<01:35:02.480> the<01:35:02.600> one,<01:35:02.880> the<01:35:03.000> one,<01:35:03.280> the<01:35:03.400> one,<01:35:03.640> the<01:35:03.760> one,<01:35:04.160> which<01:35:04.360> means<01:35:04.560> it's<01:35:04.680> customized<01:35:05.360> for<01:35:05.560> each<01:35:05.840> person.

01:35:07.200 --> 01:35:11.040
But<01:35:07.360> I<01:35:07.480> also<01:35:07.800> know<01:35:08.040> that<01:35:08.280> it<01:35:08.400> is<01:35:08.560> not<01:35:08.960> for<01:35:09.240> the<01:35:09.360> 99.

01:35:11.040 --> 01:35:14.080
So<01:35:11.280> you<01:35:11.560> have<01:35:11.800> to<01:35:11.920> be<01:35:12.080> in<01:35:12.200> the<01:35:12.280> state<01:35:12.640> to<01:35:12.760> receive<01:35:13.240> it<01:35:13.400> or<01:35:13.520> to<01:35:13.680> wake<01:35:13.920> up.

01:35:14.080 --> 01:35:19.280
It's<01:35:14.360> It's<01:35:14.560> the<01:35:14.640> reason<01:35:14.960> why<01:35:15.120> I'm<01:35:15.240> not<01:35:15.440> out<01:35:15.600> there<01:35:15.760> writing<01:35:16.080> 10<01:35:16.360> books<01:35:16.800> to<01:35:16.920> try<01:35:17.120> and<01:35:17.240> educate<01:35:17.680> people<01:35:17.960> on<01:35:18.080> how<01:35:18.200> to<01:35:18.280> become<01:35:18.560> more<01:35:18.760> spiritual.

01:35:19.280 --> 01:35:25.840
I<01:35:19.360> know<01:35:19.720> it's<01:35:19.920> not<01:35:20.160> for<01:35:20.320> everybody.<01:35:21.640> So<01:35:21.960> it<01:35:22.840> I<01:35:22.960> will<01:35:23.120> say<01:35:23.320> that<01:35:23.600> timer<01:35:24.000> has<01:35:24.240> been<01:35:24.480> set.

01:35:25.840 --> 01:35:32.960
Um,<01:35:26.040> you<01:35:26.240> have<01:35:26.520> a<01:35:26.600> limited<01:35:27.040> amount<01:35:27.320> of<01:35:27.440> time<01:35:27.840> here<01:35:28.680> and<01:35:29.200> your<01:35:29.560> only<01:35:30.000> purpose<01:35:30.560> would<01:35:30.720> be<01:35:30.880> to<01:35:31.000> wake<01:35:31.280> up<01:35:31.440> to<01:35:31.560> the<01:35:31.680> love<01:35:31.920> that<01:35:32.120> you<01:35:32.240> are.

01:35:32.960 --> 01:35:36.320
Mhm.<01:35:33.223> So<01:35:33.487> [clears<01:35:33.750> throat]<01:35:34.013> there<01:35:34.277> are<01:35:34.540> people<01:35:34.803> here<01:35:35.067> that<01:35:35.330> will<01:35:35.593> never<01:35:35.857> do<01:35:36.120> that.

01:35:36.320 --> 01:35:39.960
Just<01:35:36.520> like<01:35:36.680> as<01:35:36.840> you<01:35:37.080> said<01:35:37.440> earlier,<01:35:37.800> the<01:35:37.920> whole<01:35:38.120> world<01:35:38.480> can't<01:35:38.840> wake<01:35:39.080> up.

01:35:39.960 --> 01:35:43.440
It<01:35:40.080> can't,<01:35:40.720> which<01:35:40.920> means<01:35:41.120> there<01:35:41.240> are<01:35:41.280> people<01:35:41.720> that<01:35:42.000> it<01:35:42.160> is<01:35:42.360> not<01:35:42.640> for.

01:35:43.440 --> 01:35:46.480
They're<01:35:43.520> not<01:35:43.720> ready.<01:35:44.360> No.<01:35:44.720> Right?<01:35:45.040> Maybe<01:35:45.320> sometime<01:35:45.760> they<01:35:45.880> will.

01:35:46.480 --> 01:35:53.160
Yeah.<01:35:47.040> I<01:35:47.120> mean<01:35:47.240> it's<01:35:47.360> like<01:35:47.520> Jesus'<01:35:48.160> parable<01:35:48.600> of<01:35:48.680> the<01:35:48.800> sower<01:35:49.320> where<01:35:49.600> seeds<01:35:50.000> are<01:35:50.080> thrown<01:35:50.360> on<01:35:50.440> different<01:35:50.720> kinds<01:35:51.000> of<01:35:51.080> ground<01:35:51.520> and<01:35:51.640> some<01:35:51.800> of<01:35:51.920> them<01:35:52.280> you<01:35:52.360> know<01:35:52.520> dies<01:35:52.960> and<01:35:53.040> some

01:35:53.160 --> 01:36:00.800
of<01:35:53.240> it<01:35:53.320> sprouts<01:35:53.640> up.<01:35:53.960> Or<01:35:54.120> the,<01:35:54.360> you<01:35:54.480> know,<01:35:54.600> pearls<01:35:54.880> before<01:35:55.240> swine<01:35:55.720> quote<01:35:56.000> that<01:35:56.120> he<01:35:56.240> said<01:35:56.520> that,<01:35:57.120> you<01:35:57.200> know,<01:35:57.320> you<01:35:57.480> just<01:35:58.280> this<01:35:58.480> is<01:35:58.600> not<01:35:58.840> for<01:35:58.960> everybody<01:35:59.320> necessarily.

01:36:00.800 --> 01:36:03.720
You<01:36:01.103> have<01:36:01.406> to<01:36:01.709> be<01:36:02.011> receptive.<01:36:02.314> [clears<01:36:02.617> throat]<01:36:02.920> Okay.

01:36:03.720 --> 01:36:11.040
Um,<01:36:04.240> a<01:36:04.280> somewhat<01:36:04.600> related<01:36:04.960> question.<01:36:05.360> Do<01:36:05.480> you<01:36:05.560> ever<01:36:05.760> look<01:36:05.960> back<01:36:06.320> on<01:36:06.520> something<01:36:06.920> you<01:36:07.040> said<01:36:07.320> a<01:36:07.360> year<01:36:07.600> or<01:36:07.720> two<01:36:07.880> ago<01:36:08.160> and<01:36:08.320> think,<01:36:08.560> well,<01:36:09.480> I<01:36:09.640> have<01:36:09.840> a<01:36:09.880> more<01:36:10.120> mature<01:36:10.480> understanding

01:36:11.040 --> 01:36:15.000
of<01:36:11.120> that<01:36:11.320> now.<01:36:11.560> I<01:36:11.640> might<01:36:11.800> have<01:36:11.920> said<01:36:12.120> that<01:36:12.320> differently<01:36:12.960> or<01:36:13.080> in<01:36:13.160> a<01:36:13.200> more<01:36:13.440> nuanced<01:36:13.920> fashion.

01:36:15.000 --> 01:36:22.640
Um,<01:36:15.760> you<01:36:15.840> described<01:36:16.280> coming<01:36:16.520> back<01:36:16.840> with<01:36:17.160> divine<01:36:17.600> knowledge<01:36:18.200> that<01:36:18.400> was<01:36:18.520> not<01:36:18.840> learned<01:36:19.280> gradually<01:36:19.960> but<01:36:20.120> simply<01:36:20.480> given,<01:36:21.040> almost<01:36:21.400> baked<01:36:21.720> into<01:36:22.000> you.

01:36:22.640 --> 01:36:28.560
How<01:36:22.760> do<01:36:22.840> you<01:36:22.920> distinguish<01:36:23.560> that<01:36:23.880> kind<01:36:24.320> of<01:36:24.680> certainty<01:36:26.240> from<01:36:27.480> dogmatism?

01:36:28.560 --> 01:36:32.960
So,<01:36:28.680> there<01:36:28.800> are<01:36:28.880> kind<01:36:29.040> of<01:36:29.120> two<01:36:29.280> questions<01:36:29.840> in<01:36:29.960> here.<01:36:30.280> Can<01:36:30.520> you<01:36:30.640> be<01:36:31.120> too<01:36:31.360> certain<01:36:31.800> and<01:36:31.920> thereby<01:36:32.240> dogmatic?

01:36:32.960 --> 01:36:42.440
And<01:36:33.120> second<01:36:33.480> question<01:36:33.880> is,<01:36:34.400> do<01:36:34.520> you<01:36:34.640> find<01:36:35.080> your<01:36:35.400> understanding<01:36:36.320> and<01:36:36.440> expression<01:36:37.120> of<01:36:37.240> it<01:36:38.000> more<01:36:38.280> nuanced<01:36:38.920> as<01:36:39.080> time<01:36:39.400> goes<01:36:39.680> on,<01:36:39.960> more<01:36:40.160> refined,<01:36:40.880> more<01:36:41.560> subtle,

01:36:42.440 --> 01:36:49.840
or<01:36:42.640> something?<01:36:43.880> Yeah,<01:36:44.160> I<01:36:44.240> think<01:36:44.480> I'm<01:36:45.880> I<01:36:46.120> would<01:36:46.280> say<01:36:46.440> if<01:36:46.560> there's<01:36:46.760> an<01:36:46.920> evolution,<01:36:47.600> it's<01:36:47.760> in<01:36:47.840> the<01:36:47.960> words<01:36:48.560> that<01:36:48.720> I<01:36:48.800> use.

01:36:49.840 --> 01:36:56.400
Maybe<01:36:50.240> a<01:36:51.200> the<01:36:51.360> practice<01:36:51.880> of<01:36:52.000> speaking<01:36:52.360> with<01:36:52.520> thousands<01:36:52.920> of<01:36:53.000> people<01:36:53.320> now,<01:36:53.640> I<01:36:53.720> would<01:36:53.960> say<01:36:54.200> is<01:36:54.600> has<01:36:54.880> changed<01:36:55.360> me.

01:36:56.400 --> 01:37:03.160
But,<01:36:57.200> um,<01:36:57.760> no,<01:36:58.000> I<01:36:58.120> am<01:36:59.640> I<01:36:59.760> am<01:36:59.960> certain<01:37:00.360> because<01:37:00.720> I<01:37:00.800> know<01:37:01.000> it's<01:37:01.160> not<01:37:01.400> me<01:37:01.560> being<01:37:01.880> certain.

01:37:03.160 --> 01:37:06.960
It's<01:37:03.720> it's<01:37:03.960> I'm<01:37:04.120> guided<01:37:04.520> to<01:37:04.640> it.<01:37:04.800> Half<01:37:05.040> the<01:37:05.160> time<01:37:05.440> the<01:37:05.520> words<01:37:05.800> aren't<01:37:06.000> mine.

01:37:06.960 --> 01:37:09.160
You<01:37:07.080> know,<01:37:07.280> it<01:37:07.400> there's<01:37:07.560> something<01:37:07.840> come<01:37:08.320> comes<01:37:08.560> through<01:37:08.760> me.

01:37:09.160 --> 01:37:14.200
Like<01:37:09.320> I've<01:37:09.440> healed<01:37:09.840> a<01:37:09.960> number<01:37:10.360> of<01:37:10.560> people,<01:37:11.880> but<01:37:11.960> I<01:37:12.040> also<01:37:12.320> know<01:37:12.480> it's<01:37:12.640> not<01:37:12.840> me<01:37:13.040> doing<01:37:13.320> the<01:37:13.400> healing.

01:37:14.200 --> 01:37:16.760
Like<01:37:14.360> I'm<01:37:14.480> just<01:37:14.680> a<01:37:14.720> con-<01:37:15.280> I'm<01:37:15.440> just<01:37:15.680> a<01:37:15.720> conduit.

01:37:16.760 --> 01:37:21.640
I<01:37:16.840> oftentimes<01:37:17.760> tell<01:37:18.040> people<01:37:18.520> ignore<01:37:18.960> my<01:37:19.160> words,<01:37:19.720> feel<01:37:20.000> the<01:37:20.080> message<01:37:20.440> between<01:37:20.840> them.

01:37:21.640 --> 01:37:24.800
Because<01:37:21.960> I<01:37:22.040> know<01:37:22.240> that's<01:37:22.680> where<01:37:22.880> you<01:37:23.080> become<01:37:23.520> the<01:37:23.680> one<01:37:23.960> of<01:37:24.080> the<01:37:24.160> 99.

01:37:24.800 --> 01:37:26.520
That's<01:37:25.080> where<01:37:25.200> the<01:37:25.320> message<01:37:25.680> is<01:37:25.840> catered<01:37:26.200> to<01:37:26.360> you.

01:37:26.520 --> 01:37:29.720
It's<01:37:26.680> not<01:37:26.920> catered<01:37:27.280> to<01:37:27.400> you<01:37:27.520> in<01:37:27.640> the<01:37:27.760> words<01:37:28.280> that<01:37:28.440> I<01:37:28.520> use.

01:37:29.720 --> 01:37:33.040
It's<01:37:29.840> catered<01:37:30.280> to<01:37:30.400> you<01:37:30.560> in<01:37:30.640> the<01:37:30.760> feeling<01:37:31.160> you<01:37:31.280> get<01:37:31.520> between<01:37:31.960> the<01:37:32.040> words.

01:37:33.040 --> 01:37:36.440
Right.<01:37:34.720> And<01:37:34.840> that's<01:37:35.000> hard<01:37:35.200> for<01:37:35.320> some<01:37:35.520> people<01:37:35.760> to<01:37:35.840> understand.

01:37:36.440 --> 01:37:39.280
Is<01:37:36.600> it<01:37:36.720> dogmatic?<01:37:37.360> Well,<01:37:37.480> some<01:37:37.840> people<01:37:38.160> will<01:37:38.280> say<01:37:38.440> it's<01:37:38.600> dogmatic.

01:37:39.280 --> 01:37:41.400
Other<01:37:39.480> people<01:37:39.840> will<01:37:39.960> say<01:37:40.280> it's<01:37:40.520> it's<01:37:40.800> healing.

01:37:41.400 --> 01:37:45.760
Other<01:37:41.600> people<01:37:41.920> will<01:37:42.040> say<01:37:42.240> it's<01:37:42.400> horrible.<01:37:42.960> I<01:37:43.000> mean,<01:37:43.240> I<01:37:43.320> get<01:37:43.520> the<01:37:43.880> the<01:37:44.040> entire<01:37:44.440> range.

01:37:45.760 --> 01:37:50.000
Yeah,<01:37:45.880> I've<01:37:45.960> heard<01:37:46.160> you<01:37:46.360> you<01:37:46.600> you<01:37:46.720> were<01:37:46.760> telling<01:37:47.000> me<01:37:47.600> that<01:37:47.800> you<01:37:47.880> get<01:37:48.080> some<01:37:48.240> real<01:37:48.440> flack<01:37:48.800> from<01:37:48.960> people<01:37:49.280> sometimes.

01:37:50.000 --> 01:37:57.440
Oh<01:37:50.520> gosh,<01:37:50.960> I<01:37:51.040> get<01:37:51.640> Which<01:37:52.200> which<01:37:52.480> sounds<01:37:52.760> seemed<01:37:53.000> weird<01:37:53.320> to<01:37:53.400> me<01:37:53.560> because<01:37:54.080> everything<01:37:54.400> you're<01:37:54.520> saying<01:37:54.800> seems<01:37:55.080> so<01:37:55.760> positive<01:37:56.360> and<01:37:56.800> uplifting.

01:37:57.440 --> 01:38:01.880
It's<01:37:57.560> like<01:37:57.720> who<01:37:57.880> could<01:37:58.040> ever<01:37:58.200> have<01:37:58.280> a<01:37:58.320> problem<01:37:58.640> with<01:37:58.760> that?<01:37:58.840> No,<01:37:59.160> I<01:37:59.320> get<01:37:59.560> the<01:37:59.880> you<01:38:00.240> effing<01:38:00.960> mother<01:38:01.440> effer.

01:38:01.880 --> 01:38:10.320
I<01:38:01.960> get<01:38:02.200> those<01:38:02.600> pretty<01:38:02.840> much<01:38:03.040> every<01:38:03.280> week.<01:38:03.920> I<01:38:04.120> get<01:38:05.040> um<01:38:05.960> I<01:38:06.120> got<01:38:06.400> one<01:38:06.600> guy<01:38:06.840> who<01:38:07.000> wrote<01:38:07.200> me<01:38:07.360> seven<01:38:07.760> days<01:38:08.400> seven<01:38:09.200> days<01:38:09.560> in<01:38:09.640> a<01:38:09.720> row<01:38:10.200> a

01:38:10.320 --> 01:38:18.600
full<01:38:10.640> page<01:38:11.680> of<01:38:11.960> emails<01:38:12.560> every<01:38:12.880> day<01:38:13.160> cursing<01:38:13.600> me<01:38:13.840> out<01:38:14.120> because<01:38:14.880> when<01:38:15.040> he<01:38:15.280> asked<01:38:15.680> me<01:38:16.040> if<01:38:16.320> I<01:38:16.400> would<01:38:16.720> ask<01:38:17.120> Jesus<01:38:17.680> to<01:38:17.840> fix<01:38:18.120> his<01:38:18.360> debt

01:38:18.600 --> 01:38:21.960
problems,<01:38:19.160> I<01:38:19.240> said,<01:38:19.600> "Please<01:38:20.440> understand<01:38:21.000> that<01:38:21.120> you<01:38:21.240> don't<01:38:21.480> need<01:38:21.720> me."

01:38:21.960 --> 01:38:25.080
You<01:38:22.120> can<01:38:22.280> contact<01:38:22.840> him<01:38:22.960> directly."<01:38:23.520> And<01:38:23.680> he<01:38:23.800> got<01:38:23.960> mad<01:38:24.200> at<01:38:24.280> me.

01:38:25.080 --> 01:38:28.600
Cursed<01:38:25.400> me<01:38:25.600> out.<01:38:25.800> I<01:38:25.880> get<01:38:26.080> people<01:38:26.360> saying<01:38:26.600> they<01:38:26.720> want<01:38:26.840> to<01:38:26.920> take<01:38:27.160> me<01:38:27.280> down,<01:38:27.760> take<01:38:27.960> me<01:38:28.200> out.

01:38:28.600 --> 01:38:31.440
I'm<01:38:28.760> a<01:38:28.800> cult<01:38:29.160> leader.<01:38:29.640> Oh,<01:38:29.800> it's<01:38:29.960> across<01:38:30.320> the<01:38:30.400> board.

01:38:31.440 --> 01:38:35.680
But<01:38:31.600> for<01:38:31.760> every<01:38:32.000> one<01:38:32.200> of<01:38:32.280> those,<01:38:32.760> I<01:38:32.840> get<01:38:33.000> a<01:38:33.080> thousand<01:38:34.160> that<01:38:34.320> are<01:38:34.600> you<01:38:34.800> helped<01:38:35.080> me<01:38:35.200> so<01:38:35.400> much.

01:38:35.680 --> 01:38:42.600
I've<01:38:35.760> been<01:38:35.960> trying<01:38:36.320> to<01:38:36.720> unlock<01:38:37.160> myself<01:38:37.560> for<01:38:37.680> 30<01:38:38.000> years<01:38:38.320> and<01:38:38.400> I<01:38:38.440> feel<01:38:38.680> love<01:38:38.960> for<01:38:39.080> the<01:38:39.160> first<01:38:39.400> time<01:38:39.640> in<01:38:39.720> 30<01:38:39.960> years<01:38:40.240> or<01:38:40.720> I<01:38:40.880> just<01:38:41.120> lost<01:38:41.440> somebody<01:38:41.840> and<01:38:41.960> you've<01:38:42.120> helped<01:38:42.400> me.

01:38:42.600 --> 01:38:45.080
Like<01:38:43.720> it<01:38:43.960> I<01:38:44.040> know<01:38:44.280> it's<01:38:44.400> just<01:38:44.600> part<01:38:44.840> of<01:38:44.960> it.

01:38:45.080 --> 01:38:48.040
That<01:38:45.240> was<01:38:45.440> one<01:38:45.640> of<01:38:45.760> the<01:38:45.880> warnings<01:38:46.320> I<01:38:46.400> received<01:38:46.880> on<01:38:47.000> the<01:38:47.120> other<01:38:47.280> side.

01:38:48.040 --> 01:38:54.440
I<01:38:48.160> always<01:38:48.440> laugh<01:38:48.760> about<01:38:49.120> it<01:38:49.360> because<01:38:49.720> every<01:38:49.880> time<01:38:50.160> I<01:38:50.200> experience<01:38:51.000> it,<01:38:52.040> I'm<01:38:52.200> just<01:38:53.400> I'm<01:38:53.680> almost<01:38:54.040> thankful.

01:38:54.440 --> 01:38:57.360
I'm<01:38:54.520> like<01:38:54.720> you're<01:38:54.840> just<01:38:55.120> fulfilling<01:38:55.640> the<01:38:55.720> prophecy<01:38:56.320> of<01:38:56.480> which<01:38:56.760> I<01:38:56.800> was<01:38:57.000> told.

01:38:57.360 --> 01:39:02.200
I<01:38:57.480> will<01:38:57.680> be<01:38:57.840> persecuted<01:38:58.560> for<01:38:58.680> the<01:38:58.800> words.<01:38:59.440> That's<01:38:59.680> how<01:38:59.800> it<01:38:59.920> was<01:39:00.440> given<01:39:00.760> to<01:39:00.880> me.

01:39:02.200 --> 01:39:05.040
Well,<01:39:02.320> it's<01:39:02.440> like<01:39:02.600> Jesus'<01:39:03.120> pearls<01:39:03.640> before<01:39:04.120> swine<01:39:04.480> say<01:39:04.760> thing.

01:39:05.040 --> 01:39:09.080
He<01:39:05.160> said,<01:39:05.360> "Don't<01:39:05.560> cast<01:39:05.840> your<01:39:05.960> pearls<01:39:06.200> before<01:39:06.520> swine<01:39:06.840> unless<01:39:07.120> they<01:39:07.280> turn<01:39:07.560> again<01:39:07.840> and<01:39:08.000> rend<01:39:08.320> you."

01:39:09.080 --> 01:39:12.040
But<01:39:09.200> unfortunately,<01:39:09.800> the<01:39:10.280> YouTube<01:39:10.680> is<01:39:10.800> not<01:39:11.000> so<01:39:11.160> selective.

01:39:12.040 --> 01:39:14.600
You<01:39:12.200> put<01:39:12.400> it<01:39:12.520> out<01:39:12.680> there<01:39:12.880> and<01:39:13.000> everybody's<01:39:13.360> going<01:39:13.380> [laughter]<01:39:13.480> to<01:39:13.560> see<01:39:13.760> it.

01:39:14.600 --> 01:39:17.520
That's<01:39:14.880> right.<01:39:15.720> That's<01:39:15.960> right.<01:39:17.000> Yeah.

01:39:17.520 --> 01:39:23.920
Um,<01:39:18.640> Okay,<01:39:19.280> so<01:39:19.880> another<01:39:20.160> thing<01:39:21.200> and<01:39:21.320> I'll<01:39:21.440> be<01:39:21.560> I'll<01:39:21.680> get<01:39:21.880> back<01:39:22.120> to<01:39:22.200> some<01:39:22.400> audience<01:39:22.760> questions.

01:39:23.920 --> 01:39:31.640
Um,<01:39:24.600> I<01:39:24.680> heard<01:39:24.920> you<01:39:25.280> I've<01:39:25.400> heard<01:39:25.600> you<01:39:25.720> say<01:39:26.280> well,<01:39:26.640> I<01:39:26.720> heard<01:39:26.920> one<01:39:27.120> lecture<01:39:27.440> you<01:39:27.520> gave<01:39:27.840> in<01:39:27.960> which<01:39:28.200> you<01:39:28.400> kept<01:39:28.720> saying<01:39:29.400> yes<01:39:29.640> and<01:39:29.760> no,<01:39:30.080> yes<01:39:30.320> and<01:39:30.440> no<01:39:30.640> at<01:39:30.760> the<01:39:30.840> beginning<01:39:31.240> of<01:39:31.360> every

01:39:31.640 --> 01:39:40.400
answer.<01:39:31.960> And<01:39:32.080> I<01:39:32.160> really<01:39:32.360> liked<01:39:32.600> that<01:39:32.800> actually.<01:39:33.720> Um,<01:39:34.840> There<01:39:35.000> was<01:39:35.200> a<01:39:35.800> an<01:39:36.000> Indian<01:39:36.320> teacher<01:39:36.640> named<01:39:36.840> Nisargadatta<01:39:37.720> whom<01:39:37.920> you<01:39:38.000> may<01:39:38.160> have<01:39:38.320> heard<01:39:38.560> of<01:39:38.800> who<01:39:39.200> who<01:39:39.480> said<01:39:39.840> that

01:39:40.400 --> 01:39:45.440
the<01:39:40.480> ability<01:39:40.920> to<01:39:41.080> appreciate<01:39:41.680> paradox<01:39:42.360> and<01:39:42.520> ambiguity<01:39:43.200> is<01:39:43.320> a<01:39:43.400> sign<01:39:43.760> of<01:39:43.880> spiritual<01:39:44.320> maturity.

01:39:45.440 --> 01:39:51.840
And<01:39:46.080> you<01:39:46.200> know,<01:39:46.320> very<01:39:46.560> often<01:39:46.840> there<01:39:47.560> it's<01:39:47.920> true<01:39:48.400> that<01:39:48.960> there's<01:39:49.200> a<01:39:49.280> yes<01:39:49.560> and<01:39:49.720> a<01:39:49.760> no<01:39:50.040> to<01:39:50.480> the<01:39:50.600> very<01:39:50.800> same<01:39:51.040> point.

01:39:51.840 --> 01:39:56.160
So,<01:39:52.880> but<01:39:53.080> I<01:39:53.120> did<01:39:53.320> hear<01:39:53.480> you<01:39:53.600> say<01:39:53.840> at<01:39:53.920> one<01:39:54.120> point<01:39:54.400> that<01:39:54.800> everything<01:39:55.160> is<01:39:55.320> equally<01:39:55.640> conscious.

01:39:56.160 --> 01:39:58.600
A<01:39:56.240> rock<01:39:56.520> is<01:39:56.640> as<01:39:56.760> conscious<01:39:57.400> as<01:39:57.640> a<01:39:57.680> human<01:39:58.040> being.

01:39:58.600 --> 01:40:04.880
And<01:39:58.720> in<01:39:58.800> fact,<01:39:59.080> I<01:39:59.280> saw<01:39:59.720> a<01:40:01.200> video<01:40:01.640> of<01:40:02.080> Ramana<01:40:02.440> Maharshi<01:40:02.880> the<01:40:02.960> other<01:40:03.120> day<01:40:03.320> saying<01:40:03.600> the<01:40:03.680> very<01:40:03.920> same<01:40:04.160> thing.

01:40:04.880 --> 01:40:13.520
Oh,<01:40:05.000> yeah.<01:40:05.360> Um,<01:40:05.960> but,<01:40:06.520> but<01:40:06.760> then<01:40:08.200> there,<01:40:08.920> I've<01:40:09.120> also<01:40:09.360> heard<01:40:09.640> you<01:40:09.880> and<01:40:10.160> he<01:40:10.480> and<01:40:10.720> others<01:40:11.360> saying<01:40:13.080> that

01:40:13.520 --> 01:40:17.640
there<01:40:13.760> are<01:40:13.880> gradations<01:40:14.800> and<01:40:15.280> degrees<01:40:15.960> of<01:40:16.120> unfoldment<01:40:16.760> of<01:40:16.880> consciousness.

01:40:17.640 --> 01:40:26.320
It's<01:40:18.050> not<01:40:18.460> black<01:40:18.870> and<01:40:19.280> white.<01:40:19.690> And<01:40:20.100> there<01:40:20.510> was<01:40:20.920> a<01:40:21.330> 12th-century<01:40:21.740> Spanish<01:40:22.150> Sufi<01:40:22.560> mystic<01:40:22.970> and<01:40:23.380> philosopher<01:40:23.790> named<01:40:24.200> Ibn<01:40:24.610> Arabi<01:40:25.020> who<01:40:25.430> said,<01:40:25.840> "God

01:40:26.320 --> 01:40:33.240
sleeps<01:40:26.720> in<01:40:26.840> the<01:40:26.920> rock,<01:40:27.840> dreams<01:40:28.320> in<01:40:28.440> the<01:40:28.520> plant,<01:40:29.480> stirs<01:40:30.080> in<01:40:30.200> the<01:40:30.320> animal,<01:40:31.200> and<01:40:31.320> awakens<01:40:31.880> in<01:40:32.080> man."

01:40:33.240 --> 01:40:35.360
Uh,<01:40:33.840> so,<01:40:34.560> I<01:40:34.640> like<01:40:34.880> that.

01:40:35.360 --> 01:40:43.680
It<01:40:35.560> gives<01:40:35.760> the<01:40:35.840> impression<01:40:36.280> that<01:40:36.400> yes,<01:40:36.760> the<01:40:36.880> rock<01:40:37.240> is<01:40:37.480> consciousness<01:40:38.360> just<01:40:38.640> as<01:40:38.800> we<01:40:39.000> are,<01:40:39.440> but<01:40:39.680> as<01:40:39.880> a<01:40:39.960> reflector<01:40:40.760> of<01:40:40.880> consciousness,<01:40:41.880> there<01:40:42.120> are<01:40:42.240> gradations.

01:40:43.680 --> 01:40:51.480
Yeah.<01:40:44.840> Yeah,<01:40:45.680> it's<01:40:45.920> that<01:40:46.120> original<01:40:46.600> circle<01:40:47.040> that<01:40:47.200> I<01:40:47.280> was<01:40:47.440> shown,<01:40:47.680> that<01:40:47.920> first<01:40:48.640> piece<01:40:48.920> of<01:40:49.040> information,<01:40:49.760> which<01:40:49.960> was<01:40:50.120> truth.

01:40:51.480 --> 01:40:54.360
In<01:40:51.680> that<01:40:51.880> circle,<01:40:52.360> the<01:40:52.520> rock<01:40:52.800> is<01:40:52.960> both<01:40:53.200> awake<01:40:53.520> and<01:40:53.640> asleep.

01:40:54.360 --> 01:40:57.520
In<01:40:54.520> that<01:40:54.720> circle,<01:40:55.080> the<01:40:55.240> rock<01:40:55.560> is<01:40:55.680> both<01:40:55.920> a<01:40:56.000> rock<01:40:56.280> and<01:40:56.400> not<01:40:56.640> a<01:40:56.680> rock.

01:40:57.520 --> 01:41:04.960
It's<01:40:57.720> all<01:40:57.840> possibilities<01:40:58.640> all<01:40:58.800> at<01:40:58.920> once.<01:40:59.920> There's<01:41:00.160> a<01:41:00.280> reality<01:41:00.880> right<01:41:01.160> now<01:41:01.440> where<01:41:01.640> every<01:41:01.960> rock<01:41:02.400> can<01:41:02.560> talk<01:41:02.840> to<01:41:02.960> you<01:41:03.120> as<01:41:03.280> you<01:41:03.400> walk<01:41:03.640> by<01:41:03.880> it.

01:41:04.960 --> 01:41:11.040
So,<01:41:05.200> what's<01:41:05.400> a<01:41:05.480> rock?<01:41:06.080> It's,<01:41:06.760> it's<01:41:07.000> really,<01:41:08.200> it's<01:41:08.480> understanding<01:41:09.120> everything<01:41:09.680> is<01:41:09.960> both<01:41:10.320> a<01:41:10.360> yes<01:41:10.640> and<01:41:10.760> a<01:41:10.800> no.

01:41:11.040 --> 01:41:15.240
Everything<01:41:11.600> is<01:41:11.840> all<01:41:12.080> possibilities<01:41:12.880> right<01:41:13.120> now.

01:41:15.240 --> 01:41:20.160
This<01:41:15.520> is<01:41:15.720> from<01:41:16.520> a<01:41:16.600> woman<01:41:16.960> in<01:41:17.080> the<01:41:17.200> UK<01:41:18.000> named<01:41:18.280> Debbie.

01:41:20.160 --> 01:41:27.720
She<01:41:20.800> says,<01:41:22.080> "I<01:41:22.200> am<01:41:22.320> a<01:41:22.360> 72-year-old<01:41:23.440> woman<01:41:24.080> who<01:41:24.280> has<01:41:24.480> struggled<01:41:25.960> living<01:41:26.240> in<01:41:26.320> a<01:41:26.360> body<01:41:26.680> since<01:41:26.960> I<01:41:27.040> was<01:41:27.240> 40."

01:41:27.720 --> 01:41:30.960
Oh,<01:41:27.840> I<01:41:27.880> guess<01:41:28.080> she's<01:41:28.240> been<01:41:28.400> having<01:41:28.640> difficulties<01:41:29.280> since<01:41:29.760> she<01:41:29.880> was<01:41:30.080> 40.

01:41:30.960 --> 01:41:34.160
"My<01:41:31.160> desire<01:41:31.600> to<01:41:31.720> go<01:41:31.920> home<01:41:32.280> increases<01:41:32.840> as<01:41:33.040> I<01:41:33.160> age.

01:41:34.160 --> 01:41:37.480
How<01:41:34.280> can<01:41:34.440> I<01:41:34.520> reconcile<01:41:35.120> living<01:41:35.400> here<01:41:35.600> when<01:41:35.880> longing<01:41:36.360> to<01:41:36.480> return?

01:41:37.480 --> 01:41:45.120
I<01:41:37.640> live<01:41:37.840> a<01:41:37.920> full<01:41:38.200> life<01:41:38.560> sharing<01:41:38.960> in<01:41:39.080> God's<01:41:39.480> love<01:41:39.800> through<01:41:40.000> volunteering<01:41:40.640> in<01:41:40.760> my<01:41:40.880> church<01:41:41.360> and<01:41:41.560> have<01:41:41.680> a<01:41:41.760> family,<01:41:42.160> but<01:41:42.320> I<01:41:42.360> am<01:41:42.520> exhausted<01:41:43.520> struggling<01:41:44.040> with<01:41:44.200> physically<01:41:44.680> living

01:41:45.120 --> 01:41:52.480
in<01:41:45.240> an<01:41:45.440> aging<01:41:45.800> body.<01:41:46.480> I<01:41:46.560> feel<01:41:46.840> I<01:41:46.880> am<01:41:47.080> done<01:41:47.880> and<01:41:48.000> I'm<01:41:48.200> ready<01:41:48.440> to<01:41:48.560> take<01:41:49.040> the<01:41:49.160> return<01:41:49.720> ticket<01:41:50.160> home."

01:41:52.480 --> 01:41:54.480
That's<01:41:52.720> tough.<01:41:53.080> I<01:41:53.120> mean,<01:41:53.280> there's<01:41:53.480> multiple<01:41:53.960> things<01:41:54.280> there.

01:41:54.480 --> 01:41:58.400
The<01:41:54.560> first<01:41:54.920> thing<01:41:55.120> is<01:41:55.320> recognizing<01:41:56.040> that<01:41:56.240> you<01:41:56.360> serve<01:41:56.680> the<01:41:56.800> whole<01:41:57.400> with<01:41:57.600> your<01:41:57.760> next<01:41:58.040> breath.

01:41:58.400 --> 01:42:03.040
That<01:41:59.520> doesn't<01:41:59.840> matter<01:42:00.080> if<01:42:00.200> you're<01:42:00.400> a<01:42:00.440> newborn<01:42:00.960> or<01:42:01.160> you're<01:42:01.320> 99,<01:42:02.040> you're<01:42:02.200> still<01:42:02.440> serving.

01:42:03.040 --> 01:42:12.000
You<01:42:03.800> may<01:42:04.000> not<01:42:04.240> be<01:42:04.360> able<01:42:04.480> to<01:42:04.600> leave<01:42:04.800> the<01:42:05.000> house<01:42:05.240> as<01:42:05.360> much,<01:42:05.640> but<01:42:05.800> you<01:42:05.920> still<01:42:06.200> serve<01:42:06.680> the<01:42:06.800> whole<01:42:07.240> because<01:42:07.680> we're<01:42:07.840> connected<01:42:08.280> to<01:42:08.360> something<01:42:08.920> that's<01:42:09.960> invisible<01:42:10.600> to<01:42:10.720> network.

01:42:12.000 --> 01:42:15.560
Invisible<01:42:12.520> network<01:42:13.000> that<01:42:13.880> runs<01:42:14.320> throughout<01:42:14.600> this<01:42:14.760> entire<01:42:15.200> place.

01:42:15.560 --> 01:42:20.680
So,<01:42:15.760> you<01:42:16.000> feeling<01:42:16.480> love<01:42:16.840> alone<01:42:17.240> in<01:42:17.360> your<01:42:17.480> favorite<01:42:17.880> chair<01:42:18.200> still<01:42:18.520> serves<01:42:18.880> the<01:42:18.960> whole.

01:42:20.680 --> 01:42:27.560
The<01:42:20.760> other<01:42:20.920> part<01:42:21.160> of<01:42:21.240> that<01:42:21.480> is<01:42:21.600> understanding<01:42:22.320> that,<01:42:22.720> well,<01:42:22.880> you're<01:42:23.000> not<01:42:23.240> alone<01:42:24.640> and<01:42:24.760> there's<01:42:24.960> a<01:42:25.040> gift<01:42:25.480> that<01:42:25.640> comes<01:42:25.960> with<01:42:26.240> age.

01:42:27.560 --> 01:42:29.960
And<01:42:27.640> I<01:42:27.680> like<01:42:27.880> to<01:42:28.000> say<01:42:28.160> it's<01:42:28.360> your<01:42:28.520> last<01:42:29.000> chance,<01:42:29.520> right?

01:42:29.960 --> 01:42:33.160
Like<01:42:30.240> we're<01:42:30.440> all<01:42:30.600> so<01:42:31.240> viral<01:42:32.000> in<01:42:32.160> our<01:42:32.280> younger<01:42:32.680> years.

01:42:33.160 --> 01:42:35.920
We<01:42:33.280> want<01:42:33.400> to<01:42:33.480> go<01:42:33.600> out<01:42:33.720> and<01:42:33.800> we'll<01:42:34.000> play<01:42:34.200> tennis<01:42:34.680> every<01:42:34.880> day.

01:42:35.920 --> 01:42:38.480
And<01:42:36.080> when<01:42:36.200> we're<01:42:36.320> playing<01:42:36.600> tennis<01:42:36.920> every<01:42:37.080> day,<01:42:37.280> we're<01:42:37.400> not<01:42:37.600> really<01:42:37.840> spiritual.

01:42:38.480 --> 01:42:45.480
We<01:42:38.560> don't<01:42:38.720> think<01:42:38.920> about<01:42:39.200> it.<01:42:40.080> But<01:42:40.240> Lord<01:42:40.520> knows<01:42:40.840> when<01:42:41.000> you<01:42:41.120> can't<01:42:41.360> leave<01:42:41.520> a<01:42:41.600> chair<01:42:41.880> for<01:42:42.040> 6<01:42:42.320> hours,<01:42:42.760> you<01:42:42.880> have<01:42:43.120> no<01:42:43.280> choice<01:42:43.720> but<01:42:43.880> to<01:42:43.960> reflect<01:42:44.360> on<01:42:44.480> something.

01:42:45.480 --> 01:42:50.640
You<01:42:45.600> have<01:42:45.800> nothing<01:42:46.160> but<01:42:46.320> opportunity<01:42:47.040> to<01:42:47.200> find<01:42:48.400> who<01:42:48.640> you<01:42:48.840> really<01:42:49.200> are<01:42:49.760> in<01:42:49.920> those<01:42:50.160> moments.

01:42:50.640 --> 01:42:56.880
I<01:42:50.720> call<01:42:50.960> it<01:42:51.080> the<01:42:51.680> age<01:42:52.000> is<01:42:52.120> the<01:42:52.240> greatest<01:42:52.720> gift<01:42:53.600> because<01:42:53.880> the<01:42:54.040> ego<01:42:54.360> hates<01:42:54.680> it<01:42:55.160> and<01:42:55.280> the<01:42:55.360> heart<01:42:55.640> loves<01:42:55.920> it.

01:42:56.880 --> 01:42:58.920
The<01:42:56.960> heart<01:42:57.200> says<01:42:57.480> we<01:42:57.600> can<01:42:57.800> now<01:42:58.040> be<01:42:58.200> true<01:42:58.480> love.

01:42:58.920 --> 01:43:07.120
We<01:42:59.080> can't<01:42:59.360> be<01:42:59.480> distracted<01:43:00.080> as<01:43:00.240> much.<01:43:01.400> So,<01:43:01.520> I<01:43:01.560> would<01:43:01.720> say<01:43:02.160> recognize<01:43:02.880> the<01:43:03.040> time<01:43:03.440> as<01:43:03.600> an<01:43:03.720> opportunity<01:43:04.320> to<01:43:04.480> find<01:43:04.720> the<01:43:04.800> love<01:43:05.080> which<01:43:05.280> you<01:43:05.480> are<01:43:06.240> and<01:43:06.480> know<01:43:06.760> that<01:43:06.920> when

01:43:07.120 --> 01:43:13.720
you<01:43:07.240> find<01:43:07.560> it,<01:43:07.720> even<01:43:08.040> if<01:43:08.200> you're<01:43:08.400> alone,<01:43:09.320> you're<01:43:09.520> affecting<01:43:10.000> the<01:43:10.080> world<01:43:10.360> positively<01:43:11.120> because<01:43:12.040> love<01:43:12.360> has<01:43:12.520> no<01:43:12.640> boundaries.

01:43:13.720 --> 01:43:21.840
It's<01:43:13.920> not<01:43:14.120> stuck<01:43:14.400> in<01:43:14.480> the<01:43:14.600> room<01:43:14.800> with<01:43:15.000> you.<01:43:16.560> I've<01:43:16.640> heard<01:43:16.840> you<01:43:16.920> say<01:43:17.160> that,<01:43:17.720> um,<01:43:18.360> you're<01:43:18.520> not<01:43:18.760> going<01:43:18.960> to<01:43:19.000> be<01:43:19.200> damned<01:43:20.320> for<01:43:20.600> committing<01:43:21.000> suicide,<01:43:21.760> you

01:43:21.840 --> 01:43:26.520
know,<01:43:21.960> when<01:43:22.160> you<01:43:22.280> get<01:43:22.440> to<01:43:22.520> the<01:43:22.640> other<01:43:22.840> side,<01:43:23.120> but<01:43:23.280> it's<01:43:23.440> also<01:43:23.680> not<01:43:24.000> a,<01:43:24.920> not<01:43:25.120> the<01:43:25.200> best<01:43:25.480> option.

01:43:26.520 --> 01:43:32.840
Um,<01:43:27.160> so,<01:43:27.560> you,<01:43:28.240> I'll<01:43:28.360> have<01:43:28.520> you<01:43:28.600> comment<01:43:29.040> on<01:43:29.160> that<01:43:29.440> and<01:43:29.560> also<01:43:30.040> on<01:43:30.240> euthanasia,<01:43:30.840> which<01:43:31.120> is<01:43:31.440> legal<01:43:31.800> in<01:43:31.920> some<01:43:32.160> places.

01:43:32.840 --> 01:43:37.080
To<01:43:32.960> me,<01:43:33.120> that<01:43:33.400> we<01:43:33.560> can<01:43:33.760> find<01:43:34.360> what<01:43:34.560> we<01:43:34.800> are<01:43:35.520> in<01:43:35.680> our<01:43:35.800> last<01:43:36.120> breath.

01:43:37.080 --> 01:43:42.320
All<01:43:37.120> right,<01:43:37.400> when<01:43:37.600> you<01:43:37.800> recognize<01:43:38.440> that<01:43:38.600> you<01:43:38.720> are<01:43:39.280> a<01:43:39.400> grain<01:43:39.720> of<01:43:39.840> sand<01:43:40.200> in<01:43:40.280> the<01:43:40.400> sand<01:43:40.680> castle,<01:43:41.160> and<01:43:41.320> you<01:43:41.480> matter.

01:43:42.320 --> 01:43:46.400
You<01:43:42.520> matter<01:43:42.880> more<01:43:43.480> than<01:43:43.680> you<01:43:43.760> could<01:43:43.960> possibly<01:43:44.520> understand<01:43:45.160> here.

01:43:46.400 --> 01:43:55.600
And<01:43:46.560> it<01:43:46.640> was<01:43:46.760> shown<01:43:47.000> to<01:43:47.120> me<01:43:47.240> that<01:43:47.520> to<01:43:47.720> choose<01:43:48.320> to<01:43:48.520> leave<01:43:49.840> is<01:43:50.040> like<01:43:50.280> saying,<01:43:50.720> "I<01:43:50.840> don't<01:43:51.240> matter,<01:43:52.440> and<01:43:52.640> I<01:43:52.720> am<01:43:52.880> not<01:43:53.160> serving<01:43:53.600> anybody<01:43:54.040> with<01:43:54.240> my<01:43:54.360> next<01:43:54.680> breath,

01:43:55.600 --> 01:44:01.840
and<01:43:55.800> I<01:43:55.880> don't<01:43:56.160> think<01:43:56.360> that<01:43:56.560> I<01:43:56.640> am<01:43:56.800> love<01:43:57.000> itself.<01:43:57.840> I<01:43:58.040> am<01:43:58.240> the<01:43:58.360> suffering<01:43:59.400> that<01:43:59.640> I<01:43:59.760> identified<01:44:00.520> with."

01:44:01.840 --> 01:44:05.760
So,<01:44:02.400> no,<01:44:02.720> you<01:44:02.840> will<01:44:03.000> not<01:44:03.200> be<01:44:03.320> damned.<01:44:03.840> No,<01:44:04.200> you<01:44:04.400> will<01:44:04.600> not<01:44:04.800> be<01:44:04.920> judged.

01:44:05.760 --> 01:44:14.000
You<01:44:05.880> will<01:44:05.960> go<01:44:06.240> and<01:44:06.400> have<01:44:06.600> your<01:44:06.760> life<01:44:07.000> review.<01:44:07.320> However,<01:44:09.640> you<01:44:09.800> could<01:44:10.000> say<01:44:10.120> there<01:44:10.280> was<01:44:10.400> a<01:44:10.520> karmic<01:44:11.240> understanding<01:44:12.000> that<01:44:12.200> you<01:44:12.320> were<01:44:12.440> here<01:44:12.640> to<01:44:12.800> experience<01:44:13.400> something,<01:44:13.840> and

01:44:14.000 --> 01:44:22.120
somebody<01:44:14.640> else<01:44:15.080> or<01:44:15.280> others<01:44:15.680> or<01:44:15.800> many<01:44:16.240> were<01:44:16.440> here<01:44:16.640> to<01:44:16.800> experience<01:44:17.440> things<01:44:17.840> through<01:44:18.200> you,<01:44:19.120> and<01:44:19.320> you<01:44:19.520> leaving<01:44:20.000> early<01:44:20.880> means<01:44:21.160> you'll<01:44:21.360> probably<01:44:21.840> have<01:44:22.040> to

01:44:22.120 --> 01:44:25.147
come<01:44:22.320> back<01:44:22.600> and<01:44:22.720> re-experience<01:44:23.560> some<01:44:23.720> of<01:44:23.800> those<01:44:24.040> things.

01:44:25.147 --> 01:44:28.480
[sighs]<01:44:25.640> But,<01:44:25.800> no,<01:44:26.000> you're<01:44:26.160> not<01:44:26.400> damned<01:44:26.760> for<01:44:26.880> suicide.

01:44:28.480 --> 01:44:34.920
Now,<01:44:28.720> when<01:44:28.880> your<01:44:29.080> dog,<01:44:30.440> um,<01:44:31.240> got<01:44:31.480> too<01:44:31.680> old<01:44:32.000> and,<01:44:32.280> and<01:44:33.360> you<01:44:33.480> probably<01:44:33.880> had<01:44:34.080> him<01:44:34.240> put<01:44:34.480> down.

01:44:34.920 --> 01:44:36.840
He<01:44:35.154> probably<01:44:35.389> just<01:44:35.623> didn't<01:44:35.857> die<01:44:36.091> in<01:44:36.326> his<01:44:36.560> bed.

01:44:36.840 --> 01:44:39.960
You<01:44:36.960> had<01:44:37.120> to<01:44:37.200> have<01:44:37.320> him<01:44:37.480> put<01:44:37.680> down.<01:44:38.440> Uh,<01:44:38.640> what<01:44:38.760> do<01:44:38.840> you<01:44:38.880> think<01:44:39.040> about<01:44:39.280> euthanasia?

01:44:39.960 --> 01:44:48.200
I<01:44:40.040> mean,<01:44:40.280> in<01:44:40.480> with<01:44:40.800> today's<01:44:41.200> modern<01:44:41.520> medicine,<01:44:42.000> people<01:44:42.360> are<01:44:42.880> kept<01:44:43.200> alive<01:44:44.240> way<01:44:44.440> longer<01:44:44.960> than<01:44:45.280> they<01:44:45.480> would<01:44:46.440> naturally,<01:44:46.960> which<01:44:47.120> is<01:44:47.280> often<01:44:47.600> a<01:44:47.680> good<01:44:47.920> thing.

01:44:48.200 --> 01:44:55.440
I<01:44:48.240> mean,<01:44:48.760> you<01:44:48.840> used<01:44:49.040> to<01:44:49.080> be<01:44:49.160> able<01:44:49.320> to<01:44:49.400> die<01:44:49.640> from<01:44:49.800> a<01:44:49.880> toothache,<01:44:51.347> [laughter]<01:44:52.800> you<01:44:52.920> know,<01:44:53.120> 'cause<01:44:53.320> you'd<01:44:53.480> get<01:44:53.640> an<01:44:53.760> infection,<01:44:54.400> it<01:44:54.480> would<01:44:54.600> go<01:44:54.720> to<01:44:54.800> your<01:44:54.920> brain,<01:44:55.320> you'd

01:44:55.440 --> 01:45:03.240
be<01:44:55.560> done.<01:44:56.360> But,<01:44:57.040> but<01:44:57.240> I<01:44:57.320> think<01:44:57.560> maybe<01:44:57.800> we,<01:44:58.640> do<01:44:58.760> you<01:44:58.840> think<01:44:59.040> maybe<01:44:59.280> we<01:44:59.600> have<01:44:59.760> taken<01:45:00.040> it<01:45:00.160> too<01:45:00.320> far<01:45:00.520> in<01:45:00.600> the<01:45:00.720> other<01:45:00.920> direction,<01:45:01.680> keeping<01:45:01.960> people<01:45:02.240> on<01:45:02.360> life<01:45:02.600> support<01:45:03.000> and<01:45:03.120> all

01:45:03.240 --> 01:45:06.320
that,<01:45:03.680> when<01:45:04.160> we,<01:45:04.480> we<01:45:04.560> should<01:45:04.680> just<01:45:04.800> let<01:45:04.920> them<01:45:05.040> go?

01:45:06.320 --> 01:45:12.520
You<01:45:06.538> know,<01:45:06.755> I,<01:45:06.973> I<01:45:07.190> [clears<01:45:07.408> throat]<01:45:07.626> it's<01:45:07.843> hard<01:45:08.061> because<01:45:08.278> I<01:45:08.496> have<01:45:08.714> the<01:45:08.931> experience,<01:45:09.149> and<01:45:09.366> I<01:45:09.584> know<01:45:09.802> this<01:45:10.019> isn't<01:45:10.237> as<01:45:10.454> real<01:45:10.672> as<01:45:10.890> we<01:45:11.107> want<01:45:11.325> it<01:45:11.542> to<01:45:11.760> be.

01:45:12.520 --> 01:45:20.680
It's,<01:45:13.080> we<01:45:13.200> take<01:45:13.440> this<01:45:13.680> very<01:45:13.920> seriously,<01:45:15.080> and<01:45:16.240> it's<01:45:16.440> hellish<01:45:16.840> in<01:45:16.920> a<01:45:17.000> way<01:45:17.240> because<01:45:17.600> we're<01:45:17.720> just<01:45:17.960> here<01:45:18.120> to<01:45:18.240> experience<01:45:18.680> contrast,<01:45:19.360> and<01:45:19.480> you<01:45:19.560> could<01:45:19.720> say<01:45:19.840> that<01:45:20.040> contrast<01:45:20.520> is

01:45:20.680 --> 01:45:26.480
suffering.<01:45:21.960> And<01:45:22.080> when<01:45:22.200> people<01:45:22.480> tell<01:45:22.640> me,<01:45:22.760> "I<01:45:22.840> want<01:45:22.960> to<01:45:23.040> live<01:45:23.240> to<01:45:23.320> be<01:45:23.440> 107,"<01:45:24.360> I,<01:45:24.520> I<01:45:24.880> look<01:45:25.080> at<01:45:25.160> them<01:45:25.280> and<01:45:25.400> say,<01:45:25.520> "Why?

01:45:26.480 --> 01:45:29.520
The<01:45:26.560> better<01:45:26.800> side<01:45:27.040> is<01:45:27.160> on<01:45:27.320> the<01:45:27.440> other<01:45:27.600> side.<01:45:28.120> Like,<01:45:28.440> why<01:45:28.600> do<01:45:28.680> you<01:45:28.800> want<01:45:28.960> to<01:45:29.000> stay?

01:45:29.520 --> 01:45:32.920
This<01:45:29.760> is<01:45:30.240> kindergarten.<01:45:30.880> Don't<01:45:31.080> you<01:45:31.120> want<01:45:31.240> to<01:45:31.320> go<01:45:31.360> to<01:45:31.440> first<01:45:31.680> grade?"

01:45:32.920 --> 01:45:37.880
So,<01:45:33.880> the<01:45:34.000> part<01:45:34.320> of<01:45:34.440> us<01:45:34.600> that<01:45:34.800> wants<01:45:35.160> to<01:45:35.280> go<01:45:35.520> on<01:45:35.880> forever,<01:45:36.480> that<01:45:36.720> lives<01:45:37.160> forever,<01:45:37.680> right?

01:45:37.880 --> 01:45:40.840
That<01:45:38.280> ego<01:45:38.760> is<01:45:38.960> like,<01:45:39.200> I<01:45:39.280> just<01:45:39.520> want<01:45:39.760> more<01:45:40.000> time.

01:45:40.840 --> 01:45:45.400
That's<01:45:41.160> the<01:45:41.280> very<01:45:41.520> thing<01:45:41.800> that<01:45:41.960> we're<01:45:42.120> here<01:45:42.320> to<01:45:42.440> say,<01:45:42.920> "Yeah,<01:45:43.160> but<01:45:43.360> that's<01:45:43.600> not<01:45:43.800> why<01:45:43.920> we're<01:45:44.120> here."

01:45:45.400 --> 01:45:54.000
We're<01:45:45.480> here<01:45:45.680> to<01:45:45.800> experience<01:45:46.320> what<01:45:46.480> we<01:45:46.560> need<01:45:46.760> to<01:45:46.880> experience.<01:45:47.440> I<01:45:47.560> do<01:45:47.880> think<01:45:48.120> it's<01:45:48.280> gone<01:45:48.600> too<01:45:48.920> far<01:45:49.960> when<01:45:50.160> the<01:45:50.280> desire<01:45:50.840> to<01:45:51.040> live<01:45:51.400> another<01:45:51.760> 100<01:45:52.240> years,<01:45:53.040> you<01:45:53.120> know,<01:45:53.320> you<01:45:53.440> have

01:45:54.000 --> 01:45:57.600
Elon<01:45:54.440> and<01:45:54.560> everybody<01:45:54.960> else<01:45:55.160> trying<01:45:55.360> to<01:45:55.480> put<01:45:55.800> chips<01:45:56.080> into<01:45:56.280> everybody.

01:45:57.600 --> 01:46:06.120
The<01:45:57.640> desire<01:45:58.120> to<01:45:58.280> live<01:45:58.560> an<01:45:58.760> extra<01:45:59.240> 100<01:45:59.760> years<01:46:01.560> surpasses<01:46:02.480> the<01:46:02.880> idea<01:46:03.280> that<01:46:03.440> I'm<01:46:03.600> here<01:46:03.840> to<01:46:03.960> remember<01:46:04.320> that<01:46:04.520> I<01:46:04.560> am<01:46:04.760> love<01:46:04.920> itself,<01:46:05.560> right?

01:46:06.120 --> 01:46:10.880
So,<01:46:06.280> now<01:46:06.520> it's<01:46:06.640> about<01:46:06.920> the<01:46:07.120> animal<01:46:07.760> and<01:46:07.880> it's<01:46:08.040> not<01:46:08.200> about<01:46:08.640> the<01:46:08.760> spiritual<01:46:09.280> heart<01:46:09.560> that<01:46:09.720> you<01:46:09.880> are.

01:46:10.880 --> 01:46:19.000
Um,<01:46:11.240> so,<01:46:11.400> yeah,<01:46:11.720> I<01:46:11.800> think<01:46:12.000> it's<01:46:12.120> gone<01:46:12.320> too<01:46:12.520> far<01:46:12.760> and<01:46:12.880> away,<01:46:13.160> but<01:46:13.680> most<01:46:13.960> people,<01:46:14.880> you<01:46:14.960> know,<01:46:15.200> the<01:46:15.720> woman<01:46:16.000> who's<01:46:16.200> 72<01:46:16.720> years<01:46:16.960> old<01:46:17.120> who's<01:46:17.320> struggling,<01:46:18.320> ask<01:46:18.640> her<01:46:18.760> if<01:46:18.880> she

01:46:19.000 --> 01:46:22.320
wants<01:46:19.160> to<01:46:19.240> live<01:46:19.440> 100<01:46:19.880> more<01:46:20.080> years<01:46:20.520> as<01:46:20.720> she<01:46:20.920> is<01:46:21.080> and<01:46:21.200> she'll<01:46:21.360> say<01:46:21.560> no.

01:46:22.320 --> 01:46:28.320
No,<01:46:22.480> thanks.<01:46:22.800> Yeah.<01:46:23.200> So,<01:46:24.280> it's<01:46:24.480> individual,<01:46:25.240> but<01:46:25.480> yeah,<01:46:25.760> I<01:46:25.840> think<01:46:26.080> we've<01:46:26.240> gone<01:46:26.440> a<01:46:26.480> little<01:46:26.720> bit.<01:46:27.680> Yeah.

01:46:28.320 --> 01:46:36.560
And<01:46:28.480> these<01:46:28.680> tech<01:46:28.920> bros<01:46:29.240> who<01:46:29.360> want<01:46:29.560> to<01:46:29.640> upload<01:46:30.120> their<01:46:30.680> mind<01:46:31.080> to<01:46:31.160> the<01:46:31.280> cloud<01:46:31.880> and<01:46:32.240> things<01:46:32.480> like<01:46:32.720> that,<01:46:33.000> or<01:46:33.160> like<01:46:33.400> you<01:46:33.480> say,<01:46:34.000> you<01:46:34.040> know,<01:46:34.880> become<01:46:35.280> bionic,<01:46:35.920> replace<01:46:36.280> all<01:46:36.400> your

01:46:36.560 --> 01:46:44.760
body<01:46:36.840> parts<01:46:37.200> so<01:46:37.280> you<01:46:37.360> can<01:46:37.520> stick<01:46:37.720> around<01:46:38.000> forever.<01:46:38.840> I<01:46:38.920> think<01:46:39.120> it's<01:46:39.240> a,<01:46:39.520> it's<01:46:39.680> a<01:46:39.760> misunderstanding<01:46:40.800> of<01:46:40.920> the<01:46:41.040> way<01:46:41.320> the<01:46:41.440> universe<01:46:41.880> works<01:46:42.520> and<01:46:43.040> the<01:46:43.120> whole<01:46:43.360> notion<01:46:43.720> of<01:46:43.840> reincarnation

01:46:44.760 --> 01:46:47.000
or<01:46:44.880> there<01:46:45.040> being<01:46:45.280> life<01:46:45.600> after<01:46:45.920> death<01:46:46.400> and<01:46:46.520> all<01:46:46.600> that<01:46:46.760> stuff.

01:46:47.000 --> 01:46:51.868
They,<01:46:47.520> they<01:46:47.680> think<01:46:47.920> that<01:46:48.120> this,<01:46:48.720> you<01:46:48.800> know,<01:46:48.960> meat<01:46:49.240> puppet<01:46:49.640> is<01:46:49.840> all,<01:46:50.560> is<01:46:50.760> where<01:46:50.880> it's<01:46:51.040> at.

01:46:51.868 --> 01:46:55.280
[laughter]<01:46:51.920> Yeah.<01:46:52.600> Yeah.<01:46:53.680> Unfortunately,<01:46:54.480> yeah.

01:46:55.280 --> 01:46:57.880
Yeah.<01:46:56.240> Okay,<01:46:56.840> jumping<01:46:57.280> right<01:46:57.440> along.

01:46:57.880 --> 01:47:06.640
Um,<01:46:58.640> so,<01:46:58.960> you<01:46:59.560> have<01:47:00.384> [snorts]<01:47:00.720> been<01:47:00.920> gifted<01:47:01.440> with<01:47:01.720> what<01:47:01.840> you<01:47:01.920> call<01:47:02.160> the<01:47:02.280> clairs,<01:47:02.840> clairaudience,<01:47:03.480> clairvoyance,<01:47:04.240> claircognizance,<01:47:05.360> and<01:47:05.520> so<01:47:05.760> on,<01:47:06.280> since

01:47:06.640 --> 01:47:15.240
your<01:47:06.840> NDE,<01:47:07.920> and<01:47:08.360> you've<01:47:09.160> made<01:47:09.440> some<01:47:09.560> predictions<01:47:10.720> that<01:47:11.280> came<01:47:11.520> true,<01:47:11.800> such<01:47:12.080> as<01:47:12.240> the<01:47:12.400> LA<01:47:12.680> wildfires<01:47:13.680> a<01:47:13.720> few<01:47:13.920> days<01:47:14.240> before<01:47:14.560> they<01:47:14.720> happened.

01:47:15.240 --> 01:47:21.200
Yeah.<01:47:15.600> And,<01:47:17.160> and<01:47:18.080> some<01:47:18.320> earthquakes<01:47:19.080> and<01:47:19.240> things<01:47:19.520> like<01:47:19.680> that<01:47:19.920> here<01:47:20.080> and<01:47:20.160> there.

01:47:21.200 --> 01:47:26.520
So,<01:47:22.200> I<01:47:22.320> think<01:47:22.600> I<01:47:22.680> heard<01:47:22.880> you<01:47:23.000> say<01:47:23.280> that<01:47:23.480> what<01:47:23.640> could<01:47:23.800> I<01:47:23.840> do<01:47:24.040> with<01:47:24.200> it,<01:47:24.320> you<01:47:24.400> know,<01:47:24.520> 'cause<01:47:24.720> who<01:47:24.880> would<01:47:25.000> believe<01:47:25.400> me.

01:47:26.520 --> 01:47:29.280
But,<01:47:27.800> how<01:47:28.160> vivid<01:47:28.520> was<01:47:28.680> that<01:47:28.880> knowledge?

01:47:29.280 --> 01:47:33.600
How<01:47:29.440> sure<01:47:30.000> were<01:47:30.200> you<01:47:30.400> that<01:47:30.560> those<01:47:30.760> things<01:47:30.960> were<01:47:31.040> going<01:47:31.200> to<01:47:31.280> happen<01:47:31.640> or<01:47:31.720> was<01:47:31.880> it<01:47:32.000> just<01:47:32.280> a<01:47:32.360> vague<01:47:33.240> thing?

01:47:33.600 --> 01:47:37.040
And<01:47:34.400> do<01:47:34.520> you<01:47:34.600> still<01:47:34.920> have<01:47:35.840> precognitions<01:47:36.600> like<01:47:36.760> that?

01:47:37.040 --> 01:47:45.560
And<01:47:37.160> if<01:47:37.280> you<01:47:37.440> do,<01:47:38.400> I'm,<01:47:38.720> I'm<01:47:38.960> suggesting<01:47:39.560> you<01:47:39.920> start<01:47:40.240> putting<01:47:40.480> them<01:47:40.600> on<01:47:40.720> your<01:47:40.840> website<01:47:41.480> and<01:47:42.080> with<01:47:42.280> a<01:47:42.360> way<01:47:42.520> of<01:47:42.680> certifying<01:47:43.280> the<01:47:43.440> date<01:47:44.160> so<01:47:44.280> that<01:47:44.440> people<01:47:44.760> can<01:47:44.920> be<01:47:45.040> assured

01:47:45.560 --> 01:47:51.760
that<01:47:45.720> you<01:47:45.800> didn't<01:47:46.040> put<01:47:46.160> them<01:47:46.280> up<01:47:46.480> after<01:47:46.760> the<01:47:46.880> event.<01:47:46.900> [laughter]<01:47:47.800> And<01:47:47.920> then<01:47:48.080> if<01:47:48.200> you<01:47:48.320> develop<01:47:48.720> a<01:47:48.800> good<01:47:49.040> track<01:47:49.440> record<01:47:50.000> and<01:47:50.160> keep<01:47:50.360> predicting<01:47:50.880> things,<01:47:51.160> people<01:47:51.400> can<01:47:51.520> start

01:47:51.760 --> 01:47:55.000
taking<01:47:52.080> your<01:47:52.200> predictions<01:47:52.760> seriously<01:47:53.240> and<01:47:53.320> it<01:47:53.400> might<01:47:53.600> save<01:47:53.840> some<01:47:54.040> lives.

01:47:55.000 --> 01:48:00.280
Yeah,<01:47:55.520> you<01:47:55.640> know,<01:47:55.800> what's<01:47:55.960> interesting,<01:47:56.560> the<01:47:56.680> first<01:47:57.080> big<01:47:57.360> one<01:47:57.840> that<01:47:58.040> I<01:47:58.120> received<01:47:58.720> was<01:47:59.000> the<01:47:59.160> LA<01:47:59.400> wildfires.

01:48:00.280 --> 01:48:08.880
I<01:48:00.320> mean,<01:48:00.520> I<01:48:00.600> had<01:48:00.760> received<01:48:01.160> so<01:48:01.280> many<01:48:01.480> small<01:48:01.920> ones<01:48:02.400> or<01:48:02.680> precognition<01:48:03.520> of<01:48:03.640> conversations<01:48:04.520> with<01:48:04.680> others<01:48:05.280> or<01:48:06.760> things<01:48:07.200> while<01:48:07.480> sitting<01:48:07.840> with<01:48:08.000> others,<01:48:08.480> but

01:48:08.880 --> 01:48:13.120
the<01:48:09.040> really<01:48:09.400> big<01:48:09.720> one<01:48:09.880> that<01:48:10.040> was<01:48:10.240> shocking<01:48:10.680> to<01:48:10.800> me<01:48:10.920> was<01:48:11.120> the<01:48:11.200> LA<01:48:11.440> wildfires<01:48:12.080> because<01:48:12.360> I<01:48:12.440> saw<01:48:12.920> it.

01:48:13.120 --> 01:48:15.800
I<01:48:13.240> smelled<01:48:13.800> it.<01:48:14.040> I<01:48:14.120> felt<01:48:14.600> it,<01:48:14.800> all<01:48:15.000> of<01:48:15.120> it.

01:48:15.800 --> 01:48:20.840
And<01:48:15.920> you<01:48:16.000> knew<01:48:16.120> it<01:48:16.240> was<01:48:16.440> LA.<01:48:17.000> You<01:48:17.120> knew<01:48:17.280> it<01:48:17.360> was,<01:48:17.920> you<01:48:18.040> know,<01:48:18.360> Pacific<01:48:18.760> Palisades<01:48:19.520> or<01:48:19.600> say,<01:48:20.000> Altadena.

01:48:20.840 --> 01:48:29.200
You<01:48:20.920> had<01:48:21.080> it<01:48:21.200> all<01:48:21.320> nailed.<01:48:22.120> And<01:48:22.240> I<01:48:22.360> knew<01:48:23.160> that<01:48:23.360> it<01:48:23.520> wasn't<01:48:23.920> for<01:48:24.080> me<01:48:24.880> because<01:48:25.280> when<01:48:25.440> I<01:48:25.560> got<01:48:25.920> the<01:48:26.040> message,<01:48:26.680> I<01:48:26.720> was<01:48:26.880> sitting<01:48:27.160> in<01:48:27.240> a<01:48:27.280> meditation<01:48:28.160> and<01:48:28.320> I<01:48:28.400> came<01:48:28.720> out<01:48:29.080> and

01:48:29.200 --> 01:48:36.160
I<01:48:29.240> was<01:48:29.400> doing<01:48:29.680> a<01:48:29.840> round<01:48:30.160> table<01:48:30.440> discussion<01:48:31.080> with<01:48:31.560> I<01:48:31.640> think<01:48:31.800> it<01:48:31.840> was<01:48:32.000> like<01:48:32.200> five<01:48:32.440> or<01:48:32.520> six<01:48:32.760> people<01:48:33.400> and<01:48:33.800> there<01:48:33.920> was<01:48:34.040> a<01:48:34.120> woman<01:48:34.400> there<01:48:34.600> whose<01:48:34.800> daughter<01:48:35.320> was<01:48:35.480> in<01:48:35.600> California

01:48:36.160 --> 01:48:41.120
and<01:48:36.280> I<01:48:36.360> knew<01:48:36.600> it<01:48:36.680> was<01:48:36.840> for<01:48:37.000> her.<01:48:38.280> So,<01:48:38.440> I<01:48:38.480> told<01:48:38.760> her,<01:48:38.960> I<01:48:39.040> said,<01:48:39.480> LA's<01:48:39.800> going<01:48:39.920> to<01:48:40.000> burn.

01:48:41.120 --> 01:48:43.320
And<01:48:42.320> she<01:48:42.560> informed<01:48:42.920> her<01:48:43.000> daughter.

01:48:43.320 --> 01:48:46.920
So,<01:48:43.600> it,<01:48:43.960> it's<01:48:44.120> like<01:48:44.360> when<01:48:44.480> I<01:48:44.600> get<01:48:44.960> these<01:48:45.160> things,<01:48:45.440> I<01:48:45.480> know<01:48:45.720> they're<01:48:45.880> not<01:48:46.160> for<01:48:46.320> me.

01:48:46.920 --> 01:48:56.600
I<01:48:47.040> receive<01:48:47.480> them,<01:48:48.080> you<01:48:48.160> know,<01:48:48.600> not<01:48:48.800> too<01:48:48.960> long<01:48:49.480> after<01:48:49.800> that<01:48:50.160> was<01:48:50.760> I<01:48:50.840> was<01:48:50.960> in<01:48:51.080> a<01:48:51.400> meditation<01:48:53.160> with<01:48:53.320> somebody<01:48:53.640> who<01:48:53.720> was<01:48:53.880> questioning,<01:48:55.440> um,

01:48:56.600 --> 01:49:04.200
uh,<01:48:57.000> questioning<01:48:57.560> the<01:48:57.720> ability<01:48:58.280> and<01:48:58.440> that<01:48:59.120> day<01:48:59.440> I'm<01:48:59.640> in<01:48:59.800> that<01:48:59.960> meditation,<01:49:00.680> I<01:49:00.840> see,<01:49:01.960> uh,<01:49:02.640> I<01:49:02.680> think<01:49:02.840> it<01:49:02.880> was<01:49:03.040> a<01:49:03.080> Swiss<01:49:03.520> flag.

01:49:04.200 --> 01:49:12.520
I<01:49:04.280> see<01:49:04.480> a<01:49:04.560> mountain<01:49:04.960> top.<01:49:05.400> I<01:49:05.480> see<01:49:05.720> snow<01:49:06.320> like<01:49:06.520> there's<01:49:06.680> a<01:49:06.760> Swiss<01:49:07.040> flag<01:49:07.360> on<01:49:07.480> top<01:49:07.640> of<01:49:07.720> the<01:49:07.760> mountain<01:49:08.040> top<01:49:08.800> and<01:49:08.920> I<01:49:09.000> see<01:49:09.200> this<01:49:09.480> gust<01:49:09.960> of<01:49:10.040> wind<01:49:10.360> come,<01:49:11.400> boom,<01:49:11.960> and<01:49:12.080> the<01:49:12.200> whole

01:49:12.520 --> 01:49:17.080
mountain,<01:49:13.000> the<01:49:13.120> face<01:49:13.440> of<01:49:13.520> this<01:49:13.720> mountain<01:49:14.400> just<01:49:14.680> slides<01:49:15.080> off<01:49:15.280> in<01:49:15.360> this<01:49:15.560> giant<01:49:16.080> avalanche.

01:49:17.080 --> 01:49:21.720
Yeah,<01:49:17.400> that<01:49:17.600> what<01:49:17.680> happened<01:49:17.960> in<01:49:18.040> the<01:49:18.120> day.<01:49:18.880> Yeah,<01:49:19.200> and<01:49:19.320> a<01:49:19.360> week<01:49:19.600> later<01:49:19.920> it<01:49:20.040> swallowed<01:49:20.480> an<01:49:20.560> entire<01:49:20.960> village.

01:49:21.720 --> 01:49:27.560
Now,<01:49:22.160> what's<01:49:22.440> that<01:49:22.680> for?<01:49:23.120> I<01:49:23.200> told<01:49:23.520> the<01:49:23.640> woman<01:49:24.000> who<01:49:24.120> was<01:49:24.240> skeptical<01:49:24.720> about<01:49:25.000> it,<01:49:25.120> but<01:49:25.520> what's<01:49:25.800> it<01:49:26.000> really<01:49:26.320> for?

01:49:27.560 --> 01:49:32.000
You<01:49:27.600> know,<01:49:27.800> it's<01:49:28.000> like<01:49:28.320> sometimes<01:49:28.880> I<01:49:28.960> receive<01:49:29.360> these<01:49:29.560> things<01:49:29.880> just<01:49:30.640> as<01:49:31.040> an<01:49:31.200> affirmation.

01:49:32.000 --> 01:49:36.080
Like<01:49:32.240> I<01:49:32.320> said<01:49:32.520> before,<01:49:32.920> sometimes<01:49:33.320> the<01:49:33.440> experience<01:49:34.240> is<01:49:34.600> the<01:49:34.720> message.

01:49:36.080 --> 01:49:42.280
Right?<01:49:36.280> So,<01:49:36.400> it's<01:49:36.520> not<01:49:36.720> like<01:49:36.920> I'm<01:49:37.040> going<01:49:37.160> to<01:49:37.240> pick<01:49:37.440> up<01:49:37.600> the<01:49:37.720> phone<01:49:38.040> and<01:49:38.160> 911,<01:49:39.080> you<01:49:39.160> know,<01:49:39.320> dial<01:49:39.680> Switzerland<01:49:40.280> and<01:49:40.480> say,<01:49:40.640> "Hey<01:49:40.840> everybody,<01:49:41.280> there's<01:49:41.440> going<01:49:41.560> to<01:49:41.640> be<01:49:41.680> an<01:49:41.760> avalanche."

01:49:42.280 --> 01:49:50.440
I<01:49:42.360> didn't<01:49:42.640> know<01:49:43.120> where<01:49:43.360> it<01:49:43.440> would,<01:49:43.680> what<01:49:43.880> part<01:49:44.360> of<01:49:44.480> Switzerland,<01:49:45.000> I<01:49:45.040> mean<01:49:45.360> Switzerland's<01:49:45.760> a<01:49:46.040> lot<01:49:46.160> of,<01:49:46.840> Switzerland,<01:49:47.360> sorry,<01:49:48.080> is<01:49:48.200> going<01:49:48.320> to<01:49:48.440> have<01:49:48.760> all<01:49:49.080> this<01:49:49.680> these<01:49:49.920> mountains<01:49:50.320> in

01:49:50.440 --> 01:49:57.480
them.<01:49:50.560> Like,<01:49:50.800> where<01:49:50.960> am<01:49:51.120> I<01:49:51.160> going<01:49:51.280> to<01:49:51.400> point<01:49:51.760> them?<01:49:52.120> And<01:49:52.680> it's<01:49:52.920> just<01:49:53.120> this<01:49:53.320> understanding<01:49:53.920> that<01:49:54.080> sometimes<01:49:54.640> I<01:49:54.720> receive<01:49:55.200> the<01:49:55.320> message,<01:49:55.920> sometimes<01:49:56.360> it's<01:49:56.480> for<01:49:56.600> an<01:49:56.720> affirmation,

01:49:57.480 --> 01:50:03.600
sometimes<01:49:57.880> it's<01:49:58.000> directed<01:49:58.560> at<01:49:58.760> somebody.<01:50:00.040> But<01:50:00.160> I<01:50:00.240> rarely<01:50:00.760> receive<01:50:01.240> something<01:50:02.200> that's<01:50:02.440> for<01:50:02.600> a<01:50:02.680> group.

01:50:03.600 --> 01:50:06.440
Like,<01:50:03.840> okay,<01:50:04.240> I,<01:50:04.600> "Hey<01:50:04.880> everybody,<01:50:05.600> here<01:50:05.840> it<01:50:05.960> is."

01:50:06.440 --> 01:50:11.160
It's<01:50:06.640> more<01:50:07.360> very<01:50:08.520> for<01:50:08.920> something<01:50:09.480> very<01:50:09.760> specific.

01:50:11.160 --> 01:50:19.440
Um,<01:50:12.000> so,<01:50:12.200> yeah,<01:50:12.440> there<01:50:12.640> are<01:50:12.760> some<01:50:13.080> coming<01:50:13.440> up<01:50:13.880> that<01:50:14.320> I<01:50:14.400> know<01:50:14.720> aren't<01:50:15.000> supposed<01:50:15.400> to<01:50:15.480> be<01:50:15.600> released,<01:50:16.960> uh,<01:50:17.160> that<01:50:17.360> I<01:50:17.440> received<01:50:18.000> a<01:50:18.080> year<01:50:18.360> ago.

01:50:19.440 --> 01:50:24.800
That<01:50:19.680> will<01:50:19.840> happen.<01:50:20.440> And<01:50:20.640> it's<01:50:20.800> kind<01:50:21.040> of<01:50:21.200> like,<01:50:23.040> does<01:50:23.120> she<01:50:23.280> get<01:50:23.520> on,<01:50:23.720> get<01:50:23.920> on<01:50:24.080> Polymarket?

01:50:24.800 --> 01:50:32.880
Start<01:50:25.080> betting,<01:50:25.440> man.<01:50:26.056> [laughter]<01:50:28.000> If<01:50:28.160> I<01:50:28.240> had<01:50:28.440> any<01:50:28.600> desire<01:50:29.200> for<01:50:29.400> money,<01:50:29.760> I<01:50:29.840> think<01:50:30.080> I,<01:50:30.240> you<01:50:30.360> know,<01:50:30.520> I<01:50:30.600> probably<01:50:31.040> would<01:50:31.200> do<01:50:31.400> it,<01:50:31.560> but<01:50:31.800> yeah.

01:50:32.880 --> 01:50:36.120
Yeah.<01:50:33.263> [laughter<01:50:33.646> and<01:50:34.029> gasps]<01:50:34.411> Yeah.<01:50:34.794> Uh,<01:50:35.177> it's<01:50:35.560> interesting.

01:50:36.120 --> 01:50:43.920
I<01:50:36.200> mean,<01:50:36.880> as<01:50:37.120> you<01:50:37.240> say,<01:50:37.480> it's<01:50:37.680> not<01:50:37.880> as<01:50:38.000> specific<01:50:38.600> as<01:50:39.040> it<01:50:39.320> would<01:50:39.520> need<01:50:39.760> to<01:50:39.840> be<01:50:40.080> for<01:50:40.280> you<01:50:40.400> to<01:50:40.520> warn<01:50:41.080> a<01:50:41.160> specific<01:50:41.680> village<01:50:42.040> in<01:50:42.160> Switzerland<01:50:42.640> that,<01:50:42.840> you<01:50:42.960> know,<01:50:43.160> you,<01:50:43.320> you<01:50:43.400> better

01:50:43.920 --> 01:50:48.720
watch<01:50:44.200> out.<01:50:44.360> You<01:50:44.440> better<01:50:44.680> evacuate.<01:50:45.560> But<01:50:45.720> if<01:50:45.840> it<01:50:45.960> were,<01:50:46.200> if<01:50:46.360> it<01:50:46.480> did<01:50:46.640> become<01:50:47.000> that<01:50:47.240> specific,<01:50:47.800> it<01:50:47.880> would<01:50:48.000> be<01:50:48.120> kind<01:50:48.320> of<01:50:48.400> cool.

01:50:48.720 --> 01:50:52.911
You<01:50:48.840> could,<01:50:49.920> you<01:50:49.960> know,<01:50:50.320> be<01:50:50.520> a<01:50:51.120> really<01:50:51.360> help<01:50:51.480> people<01:50:51.760> out.

01:50:52.911 --> 01:50:56.640
[clears<01:50:53.399> throat]<01:50:53.887> Um,<01:50:54.376> okay,<01:50:54.864> jumping<01:50:55.352> right<01:50:55.840> along.

01:50:56.640 --> 01:50:58.680
This<01:50:56.840> is<01:50:56.960> from<01:50:57.800> someone<01:50:58.080> named<01:50:58.200> Christina.

01:50:58.680 --> 01:51:06.800
What<01:50:58.800> is<01:50:58.880> the<01:50:58.960> best<01:50:59.200> way<01:50:59.280> to<01:50:59.400> practice<01:50:59.720> being<01:50:59.960> still<01:51:00.760> and<01:51:00.920> able<01:51:01.200> to<01:51:01.320> understand<01:51:01.960> how<01:51:02.200> God<01:51:02.480> is<01:51:02.600> directing<01:51:03.040> our<01:51:03.160> lives<01:51:03.880> versus<01:51:04.720> just<01:51:05.040> believing<01:51:06.720> uh

01:51:06.800 --> 01:51:10.760
what<01:51:07.000> we<01:51:07.120> want<01:51:07.680> to<01:51:07.800> be<01:51:07.920> true.<01:51:09.000> Or<01:51:09.160> believing<01:51:09.640> that<01:51:09.800> God<01:51:10.040> directs<01:51:10.360> our<01:51:10.480> lives.

01:51:10.760 --> 01:51:15.520
So,<01:51:10.880> how<01:51:11.120> how<01:51:11.280> do<01:51:11.400> you<01:51:11.440> make<01:51:11.640> it<01:51:11.840> more<01:51:12.040> of<01:51:12.160> a<01:51:12.240> visceral,<01:51:12.840> real<01:51:13.200> experience<01:51:13.800> and<01:51:13.920> not<01:51:14.080> just<01:51:14.240> a<01:51:14.280> belief?

01:51:15.520 --> 01:51:22.200
Yeah,<01:51:15.798> [clears<01:51:16.077> throat]<01:51:16.355> that's<01:51:16.633> it's<01:51:16.911> difficult<01:51:17.190> because<01:51:17.468> wanting<01:51:17.746> to<01:51:18.024> know<01:51:18.303> the<01:51:18.581> how<01:51:18.859> is<01:51:19.137> the<01:51:19.416> very<01:51:19.694> thing<01:51:19.972> that<01:51:20.250> will<01:51:20.529> block<01:51:20.807> you<01:51:21.085> from<01:51:21.363> understanding<01:51:21.642> the<01:51:21.920> bigger

01:51:22.200 --> 01:51:26.640
picture.<01:51:23.160> Um<01:51:23.640> there's<01:51:23.840> the<01:51:23.960> part<01:51:24.160> of<01:51:24.280> us<01:51:24.400> that<01:51:24.520> wants<01:51:24.720> to<01:51:24.800> know<01:51:24.960> how<01:51:25.160> things<01:51:25.520> work.

01:51:26.640 --> 01:51:29.720
versus<01:51:27.600> let<01:51:27.880> that<01:51:28.120> part<01:51:28.400> of<01:51:28.560> you<01:51:28.840> go.

01:51:29.720 --> 01:51:36.920
Just<01:51:30.160> know<01:51:30.840> that<01:51:31.040> there's<01:51:31.240> something<01:51:31.600> there<01:51:31.800> guiding<01:51:32.200> you<01:51:32.480> and<01:51:32.680> you<01:51:32.800> will<01:51:32.960> see<01:51:33.240> through<01:51:33.480> its<01:51:33.680> language<01:51:34.320> and<01:51:34.440> its<01:51:34.600> language<01:51:35.000> is<01:51:35.120> circumstance.

01:51:36.920 --> 01:51:40.880
So,<01:51:37.120> we<01:51:37.280> think<01:51:37.760> that<01:51:38.160> it<01:51:38.480> communicates<01:51:39.160> like<01:51:39.800> we<01:51:40.160> do,<01:51:40.600> right?

01:51:40.880 --> 01:51:46.640
That<01:51:41.120> the<01:51:41.240> clouds<01:51:41.720> part<01:51:42.160> and<01:51:42.280> a<01:51:42.320> big<01:51:42.560> voice,<01:51:43.000> booming<01:51:43.400> voice<01:51:43.760> comes<01:51:44.080> out<01:51:44.280> and<01:51:44.360> says,<01:51:44.600> "Turn<01:51:45.240> left."

01:51:46.640 --> 01:51:51.760
It's<01:51:46.840> more<01:51:47.120> along<01:51:47.400> the<01:51:47.480> lines<01:51:47.840> of<01:51:47.960> surrendering<01:51:48.600> in<01:51:48.720> a<01:51:48.760> moment<01:51:49.320> and<01:51:49.480> saying,<01:51:49.960> "I<01:51:50.040> don't<01:51:50.280> know<01:51:50.400> where<01:51:50.560> I'm<01:51:50.680> going,<01:51:50.960> but<01:51:51.160> you<01:51:51.320> do.

01:51:51.760 --> 01:51:54.280
Point<01:51:52.000> me<01:51:52.080> to<01:51:52.200> the<01:51:52.320> right<01:51:53.080> right<01:51:53.320> place."

01:51:54.280 --> 01:52:00.720
You<01:51:54.520> can't<01:51:54.920> mess<01:51:55.200> it<01:51:55.320> up<01:51:55.640> because<01:51:56.000> wherever<01:51:56.600> it's<01:51:56.880> pointing<01:51:57.400> you<01:51:57.640> is<01:51:58.000> the<01:51:58.120> place<01:51:58.440> that<01:51:58.600> you<01:51:58.680> are<01:51:58.800> supposed<01:51:59.160> to<01:51:59.240> go.

01:52:00.720 --> 01:52:05.080
That's<01:52:01.200> hard<01:52:01.720> to<01:52:01.840> start<01:52:02.240> that<01:52:02.440> process<01:52:03.000> if<01:52:03.120> you've<01:52:03.280> never<01:52:03.560> been<01:52:03.760> there<01:52:03.920> before.

01:52:05.080 --> 01:52:12.280
It<01:52:05.320> takes<01:52:05.640> surrender.<01:52:06.240> It<01:52:06.440> takes<01:52:06.720> an<01:52:06.800> understanding<01:52:07.400> that<01:52:07.760> and<01:52:07.880> if<01:52:08.040> you<01:52:08.160> want<01:52:08.320> to<01:52:08.400> call<01:52:08.640> it<01:52:08.760> science<01:52:09.280> and<01:52:09.400> you<01:52:09.440> want<01:52:09.600> to<01:52:09.680> get<01:52:09.840> quantum,<01:52:10.480> it's<01:52:10.680> saying<01:52:11.240> the<01:52:11.600> to<01:52:11.720> the<01:52:11.840> quantum

01:52:12.280 --> 01:52:20.800
field,<01:52:12.800> you<01:52:12.920> can<01:52:13.040> call<01:52:13.240> it<01:52:13.360> manifestation,<01:52:14.080> you<01:52:14.160> can<01:52:14.280> use<01:52:14.480> all<01:52:14.600> the<01:52:14.680> scientific<01:52:15.520> scientific<01:52:16.160> words<01:52:16.400> you<01:52:16.520> want<01:52:18.040> and<01:52:18.200> it<01:52:18.320> will<01:52:18.480> do<01:52:18.680> the<01:52:18.800> same<01:52:19.120> thing,<01:52:19.920> but<01:52:20.080> it's<01:52:20.200> an<01:52:20.320> understanding

01:52:20.800 --> 01:52:25.920
that<01:52:20.920> there's<01:52:21.120> a<01:52:21.240> force<01:52:21.920> that<01:52:22.160> will<01:52:22.400> direct<01:52:22.880> you<01:52:23.320> when<01:52:23.480> you're<01:52:23.680> in<01:52:23.920> the<01:52:24.040> state<01:52:24.640> to<01:52:24.800> receive<01:52:25.200> the<01:52:25.280> direction.

01:52:25.920 --> 01:52:28.800
Otherwise,<01:52:26.320> the<01:52:26.480> how<01:52:26.880> is<01:52:27.040> always<01:52:27.320> asking,<01:52:27.680> "Well,<01:52:27.800> how<01:52:27.960> did<01:52:28.120> that<01:52:28.400> happen?

01:52:28.800 --> 01:52:37.880
Why<01:52:29.040> did<01:52:29.240> that<01:52:29.440> happen?<01:52:29.760> Where<01:52:30.000> did<01:52:30.160> it<01:52:30.280> go?"<01:52:30.880> Like<01:52:31.360> that's<01:52:31.720> the<01:52:31.840> human<01:52:33.080> that<01:52:33.200> gets<01:52:33.440> in<01:52:33.520> the<01:52:33.640> way<01:52:34.080> of<01:52:34.280> the<01:52:34.440> state,<01:52:35.320> which<01:52:35.560> is<01:52:35.680> reception.

01:52:37.880 --> 01:52:40.960
Okay?<01:52:38.880> Um<01:52:40.000> another<01:52:40.280> question.

01:52:40.960 --> 01:52:46.600
You<01:52:41.080> say<01:52:41.280> that<01:52:41.600> you<01:52:41.760> don't<01:52:42.000> have<01:52:42.200> an<01:52:42.360> intellect<01:52:42.800> or<01:52:42.920> an<01:52:43.080> ego<01:52:43.640> or<01:52:43.840> maybe<01:52:44.560> you<01:52:44.840> maybe<01:52:45.160> I'm<01:52:45.280> taking<01:52:45.560> this<01:52:45.760> out<01:52:45.880> of<01:52:45.920> context.

01:52:46.600 --> 01:52:51.720
Um<01:52:47.280> but<01:52:47.880> I<01:52:47.960> think<01:52:48.200> we<01:52:48.280> might<01:52:48.440> have<01:52:48.560> a<01:52:48.600> semantic<01:52:49.280> or<01:52:49.400> definition<01:52:50.440> issue<01:52:50.800> here.

01:52:51.720 --> 01:52:55.600
Most<01:52:51.960> people<01:52:52.200> are<01:52:52.320> dominated<01:52:53.080> or<01:52:53.200> gripped<01:52:53.640> by<01:52:53.880> their<01:52:54.120> intellects<01:52:54.560> or<01:52:54.680> egos.

01:52:55.600 --> 01:53:04.080
Um<01:52:56.160> those<01:52:56.440> facul-<01:52:57.440> but<01:52:57.600> those<01:52:57.880> are<01:52:58.040> just<01:52:58.880> natural<01:52:59.360> human<01:52:59.720> faculties<01:53:00.880> and<01:53:01.120> in<01:53:01.240> fact<01:53:01.560> in<01:53:01.920> in<01:53:02.000> the<01:53:02.080> Vedic<01:53:02.400> understanding,<01:53:03.320> they<01:53:03.720> are

01:53:04.080 --> 01:53:07.400
aspects<01:53:04.520> of<01:53:04.600> the<01:53:04.720> subtle<01:53:05.040> body<01:53:05.400> called<01:53:05.760> buddhi<01:53:06.080> and<01:53:06.200> ahankara.

01:53:07.400 --> 01:53:10.920
They<01:53:07.520> don't<01:53:07.800> get<01:53:08.000> utterly<01:53:08.360> eradicated<01:53:09.600> in<01:53:09.720> the<01:53:09.800> state<01:53:10.040> of<01:53:10.120> enlightenment.

01:53:10.920 --> 01:53:17.560
They<01:53:11.040> just<01:53:11.360> take<01:53:11.680> their<01:53:11.880> proper<01:53:12.320> place.<01:53:13.480> They're<01:53:13.600> no<01:53:13.800> longer<01:53:14.120> in<01:53:14.200> the<01:53:14.280> driver's<01:53:14.720> seat<01:53:15.000> of<01:53:15.080> the<01:53:15.160> car,<01:53:15.760> but<01:53:15.880> they're<01:53:16.000> still<01:53:16.240> in<01:53:16.360> the<01:53:16.480> car.

01:53:17.560 --> 01:53:22.640
Um<01:53:18.280> so,<01:53:19.120> there's<01:53:19.280> a<01:53:19.360> saying<01:53:19.720> in<01:53:19.880> that<01:53:20.120> tradition<01:53:20.560> that<01:53:20.800> Brahman<01:53:21.720> is<01:53:21.920> the<01:53:22.000> charioteer.

01:53:22.640 --> 01:53:30.800
Brahman<01:53:23.040> meaning<01:53:23.360> God<01:53:23.720> or<01:53:23.800> the<01:53:23.920> wholeness.<01:53:24.840> And<01:53:25.600> you,<01:53:25.920> the<01:53:26.040> individual<01:53:26.600> ego,<01:53:26.960> are<01:53:27.120> no<01:53:27.280> longer<01:53:28.040> trying<01:53:28.280> to<01:53:28.360> control<01:53:28.720> the<01:53:28.840> steering<01:53:29.240> wheel,<01:53:29.680> but<01:53:29.880> you're<01:53:30.000> still<01:53:30.680> in

01:53:30.800 --> 01:53:39.360
the<01:53:30.880> car.<01:53:31.320> So,<01:53:32.600> is<01:53:32.800> it<01:53:33.360> In<01:53:33.560> light<01:53:33.720> of<01:53:33.800> what<01:53:33.920> I<01:53:33.960> just<01:53:34.160> said,<01:53:34.400> would<01:53:34.680> you<01:53:35.040> perhaps<01:53:36.440> agree<01:53:36.960> that<01:53:39.000> intellect

01:53:39.360 --> 01:53:44.800
and<01:53:39.480> ego<01:53:39.880> are<01:53:40.440> faculties,<01:53:41.640> but<01:53:41.840> they<01:53:42.000> shouldn't<01:53:42.600> be<01:53:44.120> dominant.

01:53:44.800 --> 01:53:54.240
There's<01:53:45.000> something<01:53:45.440> that's<01:53:45.800> deeper,<01:53:46.320> more<01:53:46.520> profound,<01:53:47.760> more<01:53:48.000> cosmic<01:53:49.120> that<01:53:50.000> if<01:53:50.480> if<01:53:50.680> it<01:53:51.600> becomes<01:53:52.320> our<01:53:52.600> primary<01:53:53.720> orient

01:53:54.240 --> 01:54:02.920
reality,<01:53:55.040> our<01:53:55.200> vantage<01:53:55.680> point,<01:53:56.640> um<01:53:57.160> life<01:53:57.440> will<01:53:57.560> flow<01:53:57.840> much<01:53:58.120> more<01:53:58.320> beautifully<01:53:58.840> than<01:53:59.040> if<01:53:59.320> we<01:53:59.480> allow<01:53:59.760> our<01:54:00.280> these<01:54:00.520> individual<01:54:01.000> faculties<01:54:01.640> to<01:54:02.120> ignore<01:54:02.560> that

01:54:02.920 --> 01:54:06.320
greater<01:54:03.360> intelligence<01:54:04.080> and<01:54:04.280> try<01:54:04.440> to<01:54:04.840> run<01:54:05.080> the<01:54:05.160> show.

01:54:06.320 --> 01:54:09.160
Yeah,<01:54:06.760> it<01:54:06.920> was<01:54:07.800> shown<01:54:08.160> to<01:54:08.280> me<01:54:08.400> in<01:54:08.480> many<01:54:08.720> ways.

01:54:09.160 --> 01:54:12.040
You<01:54:09.280> could<01:54:09.440> say<01:54:09.600> two<01:54:09.800> paths,<01:54:10.320> right?<01:54:10.560> Two<01:54:10.880> Let's<01:54:11.000> make<01:54:11.200> it<01:54:11.360> super<01:54:11.680> simple.

01:54:12.040 --> 01:54:20.600
Two<01:54:12.240> lines.<01:54:12.920> One<01:54:13.160> line<01:54:13.480> is<01:54:13.680> where<01:54:14.240> you<01:54:14.960> are<01:54:15.920> completely<01:54:16.360> surrendered,<01:54:17.160> and<01:54:17.440> you<01:54:17.560> realize<01:54:18.080> that<01:54:18.240> that's<01:54:18.520> the<01:54:18.640> best<01:54:18.880> path<01:54:19.320> because<01:54:19.680> you're<01:54:19.800> no<01:54:19.920> longer<01:54:20.240> driving

01:54:20.600 --> 01:54:29.280
the<01:54:20.680> car.<01:54:21.800> And<01:54:22.000> the<01:54:22.080> other<01:54:22.240> path<01:54:22.680> is<01:54:22.960> you<01:54:23.960> you're<01:54:24.320> driving,<01:54:24.960> and<01:54:25.160> you<01:54:25.320> run<01:54:25.520> into<01:54:25.760> every<01:54:26.280> you<01:54:26.360> sideswipe<01:54:26.880> every<01:54:27.080> car<01:54:27.360> out<01:54:27.520> there<01:54:27.720> because<01:54:28.080> you're<01:54:28.200> the<01:54:28.280> one<01:54:28.400> driving,<01:54:28.880> right?

01:54:29.280 --> 01:54:37.920
<01:54:29.630> Yeah.<01:54:29.979> So,<01:54:30.329> it<01:54:30.678> to<01:54:31.028> oversimplify,<01:54:31.377> yeah,<01:54:31.727> the<01:54:32.077> difference<01:54:32.426> is<01:54:32.776> I<01:54:33.125> think<01:54:33.475> I<01:54:33.824> sit<01:54:34.174> in<01:54:34.523> the<01:54:34.873> place<01:54:35.223> where<01:54:35.572> I<01:54:35.922> I<01:54:36.271> no<01:54:36.621> longer<01:54:36.970> drive<01:54:37.320> anything.

01:54:37.920 --> 01:54:40.160
I<01:54:38.040> no<01:54:38.200> longer<01:54:38.480> do<01:54:38.720> anything<01:54:39.200> without<01:54:39.560> any<01:54:39.720> guidance.

01:54:40.160 --> 01:54:42.360
That<01:54:40.320> includes<01:54:40.680> when<01:54:40.880> I<01:54:41.040> eat<01:54:41.520> during<01:54:41.760> the<01:54:41.840> day.

01:54:42.360 --> 01:54:44.400
Like<01:54:42.560> even<01:54:42.760> this<01:54:42.920> morning<01:54:43.280> before<01:54:43.600> the<01:54:43.680> show,<01:54:43.840> I<01:54:43.920> eat<01:54:44.120> now?

01:54:44.400 --> 01:54:52.680
No.<01:54:44.760> Okay,<01:54:45.000> I'll<01:54:45.200> eat<01:54:45.320> later.<01:54:46.440> It's<01:54:46.560> just<01:54:46.760> sitting<01:54:47.040> in<01:54:47.120> the<01:54:47.240> place<01:54:47.560> of<01:54:47.680> going,<01:54:48.000> I<01:54:48.480> I<01:54:48.720> no<01:54:49.200> longer<01:54:49.520> choose<01:54:50.480> to<01:54:51.400> have<01:54:51.680> any<01:54:51.880> involvement<01:54:52.560> in

01:54:52.680 --> 01:54:55.560
my<01:54:52.800> life,<01:54:53.080> period.<01:54:54.400> I<01:54:54.440> just<01:54:54.680> don't.

01:54:55.560 --> 01:55:01.600
I<01:54:55.680> am<01:54:55.800> just<01:54:56.000> guided.<01:54:56.680> I<01:54:56.960> including<01:54:57.520> your<01:54:57.720> podcast,<01:54:58.480> everybody<01:54:59.000> I<01:54:59.120> get<01:54:59.720> podcast<01:55:00.320> invites<01:55:00.640> all<01:55:00.720> the<01:55:00.840> time.

01:55:01.600 --> 01:55:05.480
I<01:55:01.760> won't<01:55:02.040> do<01:55:02.240> them<01:55:02.480> unless<01:55:02.840> it's<01:55:03.000> a<01:55:03.040> yes.<01:55:03.920> It's<01:55:04.040> not<01:55:04.200> whether<01:55:04.520> I<01:55:04.680> want<01:55:04.960> to<01:55:05.040> do<01:55:05.160> them.

01:55:05.480 --> 01:55:13.400
I<01:55:05.640> ask.<01:55:06.800> So,<01:55:06.920> I<01:55:07.000> know<01:55:07.320> that<01:55:07.520> whatever<01:55:07.920> I<01:55:08.000> do,<01:55:08.240> wherever<01:55:08.640> I<01:55:08.720> talk,<01:55:09.240> wherever<01:55:09.560> I'm<01:55:09.680> supposed<01:55:10.040> to<01:55:10.120> go,<01:55:10.680> is<01:55:10.960> based<01:55:11.440> on<01:55:11.960> that<01:55:12.400> response.

01:55:13.400 --> 01:55:19.120
It's<01:55:13.600> not<01:55:13.840> like,<01:55:14.080> "Well,<01:55:14.240> I<01:55:14.320> think<01:55:14.680> I<01:55:14.760> should<01:55:14.960> do<01:55:15.200> Rick's<01:55:16.480> podcast<01:55:17.120> because<01:55:17.360> somebody<01:55:17.680> told<01:55:17.880> me<01:55:17.960> Rick<01:55:18.200> is<01:55:18.320> a<01:55:18.360> nice<01:55:18.640> guy."

01:55:19.120 --> 01:55:26.040
Like,<01:55:19.480> there's<01:55:19.720> none<01:55:19.920> of<01:55:20.000> that<01:55:20.280> for<01:55:20.440> me.<01:55:21.920> However,<01:55:22.440> I<01:55:22.800> I<01:55:22.920> have<01:55:23.160> an<01:55:23.240> experience<01:55:23.840> that<01:55:24.000> provided<01:55:24.640> that<01:55:24.880> for<01:55:25.160> me.

01:55:26.040 --> 01:55:29.880
The<01:55:26.320> rest<01:55:26.840> of<01:55:26.960> the<01:55:27.040> people<01:55:27.320> who<01:55:27.480> don't<01:55:27.720> have<01:55:27.880> the<01:55:28.000> experience<01:55:28.560> have<01:55:28.800> to<01:55:28.960> trudge<01:55:29.480> through<01:55:29.720> them.

01:55:29.880 --> 01:55:34.520
Sorry,<01:55:30.320> you<01:55:30.440> do,<01:55:30.720> but<01:55:31.200> I<01:55:31.320> didn't.<01:55:32.240> You'll<01:55:32.400> have<01:55:32.560> to<01:55:32.680> trudge<01:55:33.080> through<01:55:33.440> the<01:55:33.520> back<01:55:33.840> and<01:55:33.960> forth.

01:55:34.520 --> 01:55:42.480
I'm<01:55:34.760> driving,<01:55:35.240> now<01:55:35.480> I'm<01:55:35.600> not<01:55:35.800> driving.<01:55:36.240> I<01:55:36.520> I<01:55:36.640> find<01:55:36.920> it<01:55:37.080> easier<01:55:37.440> to<01:55:37.560> drive<01:55:37.880> in<01:55:38.000> this<01:55:38.200> circumstance<01:55:38.880> where<01:55:38.960> I'm<01:55:39.080> a<01:55:39.120> little<01:55:39.320> bit<01:55:39.480> nervous,<01:55:40.560> than<01:55:40.960> to<01:55:41.200> just,<01:55:41.800> you<01:55:41.880> know,<01:55:42.040> Jesus

01:55:42.480 --> 01:55:44.760
take<01:55:42.680> the<01:55:42.760> wheel<01:55:43.000> kind<01:55:43.200> of<01:55:43.280> thing<01:55:43.520> and<01:55:43.640> let<01:55:43.760> go<01:55:43.880> of<01:55:43.960> the<01:55:44.080> wheel.

01:55:44.760 --> 01:55:49.440
So,<01:55:44.920> there's<01:55:45.080> the<01:55:45.200> back<01:55:45.480> and<01:55:45.600> forth<01:55:46.000> between<01:55:46.360> the<01:55:46.480> two<01:55:46.720> lines,<01:55:47.720> the<01:55:47.880> zig<01:55:48.160> and<01:55:48.240> the<01:55:48.360> zag.

01:55:49.440 --> 01:55:57.120
I<01:55:49.640> just<01:55:50.080> am<01:55:50.360> fortunate<01:55:50.880> enough<01:55:51.560> or<01:55:51.840> unfortunate,<01:55:52.600> depending<01:55:53.040> on<01:55:53.240> how<01:55:53.400> you<01:55:53.520> look<01:55:53.720> at<01:55:53.840> it,<01:55:54.080> I<01:55:54.200> don't<01:55:54.680> have<01:55:55.080> the<01:55:55.200> self<01:55:55.680> that<01:55:55.840> makes<01:55:56.080> any<01:55:56.280> decisions<01:55:56.800> anymore.

01:55:57.120 --> 01:55:59.640
I<01:55:57.200> just<01:55:57.880> go<01:55:58.120> there.<01:55:58.440> Okay,<01:55:58.880> that's<01:55:59.080> where<01:55:59.200> I'm<01:55:59.280> going.

01:55:59.640 --> 01:56:08.000
I<01:55:59.720> don't<01:55:59.960> ask<01:56:00.280> anymore.<01:56:01.760> For<01:56:01.920> me,<01:56:02.160> I<01:56:02.360> seem<01:56:02.640> to<01:56:02.760> go<01:56:03.000> from<01:56:04.200> totally<01:56:04.560> thinking<01:56:04.920> I<01:56:05.000> was<01:56:05.160> driving<01:56:05.560> the<01:56:05.640> car<01:56:06.480> to<01:56:06.760> an<01:56:06.920> intermittent<01:56:07.520> thing<01:56:07.800> for

01:56:08.000 --> 01:56:15.520
years<01:56:08.600> where<01:56:09.040> where<01:56:09.400> I<01:56:09.480> would<01:56:09.680> feel<01:56:09.920> like<01:56:10.240> it's<01:56:10.440> all<01:56:10.640> on<01:56:10.800> automatic<01:56:11.440> to<01:56:12.040> I'm<01:56:12.280> holding<01:56:12.520> the<01:56:12.920> I'm<01:56:13.240> doing<01:56:13.520> the<01:56:14.000> and<01:56:14.120> then<01:56:14.280> it's<01:56:14.440> automatic<01:56:15.080> again.

01:56:15.520 --> 01:56:19.440
And<01:56:15.640> then<01:56:15.760> finally<01:56:16.080> it<01:56:16.200> just<01:56:16.360> kind<01:56:16.520> of<01:56:16.640> mellowed<01:56:17.040> out<01:56:17.240> into<01:56:18.560> cruise<01:56:18.840> control.

01:56:19.440 --> 01:56:23.690
Yeah,<01:56:19.880> cruise<01:56:20.160> control,<01:56:20.600> right?<01:56:21.400> Maybe<01:56:21.720> a<01:56:21.800> Tesla<01:56:22.320> on<01:56:22.480> autopilot<01:56:23.160> or<01:56:23.240> something.

01:56:23.690 --> 01:56:32.040
<01:56:24.119> [laughter]<01:56:24.548> <01:56:24.977> Um<01:56:25.406> okay,<01:56:25.835> let's<01:56:26.264> get<01:56:26.693> another<01:56:27.122> guest<01:56:27.551> question<01:56:27.979> in<01:56:28.408> here<01:56:28.837> from<01:56:29.266> Christina<01:56:29.695> Ross<01:56:30.124> in<01:56:30.553> Rancho<01:56:30.982> Palos<01:56:31.411> Verdes<01:56:31.840> in

01:56:32.040 --> 01:56:40.600
California.<01:56:33.200> In<01:56:33.360> light<01:56:33.600> of<01:56:33.720> the<01:56:33.840> wars<01:56:34.280> going<01:56:34.600> on<01:56:34.840> in<01:56:34.920> the<01:56:35.040> world<01:56:35.480> currently<01:56:36.480> and<01:56:36.840> for<01:56:37.480> all<01:56:38.240> all<01:56:38.480> of<01:56:38.560> history,<01:56:39.360> what<01:56:39.560> if<01:56:39.720> anything<01:56:40.280> did

01:56:40.600 --> 01:56:45.080
you<01:56:40.960> learn<01:56:41.240> from<01:56:41.400> the<01:56:41.480> other<01:56:41.680> side<01:56:42.080> about<01:56:42.600> wars?

01:56:45.080 --> 01:56:47.400
Yeah,<01:56:45.720> this<01:56:45.920> is<01:56:46.000> going<01:56:46.160> to<01:56:46.240> be<01:56:46.360> a<01:56:46.400> tough<01:56:46.680> one.

01:56:47.400 --> 01:56:50.640
Um<01:56:47.880> this<01:56:48.000> is<01:56:48.080> going<01:56:48.240> to<01:56:48.280> be<01:56:48.400> a<01:56:48.440> big<01:56:48.680> pill<01:56:48.960> for<01:56:49.120> a<01:56:49.160> lot<01:56:49.320> of<01:56:49.400> people<01:56:49.640> listening.

01:56:50.640 --> 01:56:55.120
Uh<01:56:52.040> I'll<01:56:52.360> I'll<01:56:53.120> use<01:56:53.520> more<01:56:53.880> than<01:56:54.080> just<01:56:54.360> war.

01:56:55.120 --> 01:56:59.480
I<01:56:55.240> will<01:56:55.440> use<01:56:56.640> violence,<01:56:58.080> starvation.

01:56:59.480 --> 01:57:05.360
I<01:56:59.760> use<01:57:00.000> all<01:57:00.280> of<01:57:00.400> it.<01:57:01.440> It<01:57:01.720> was<01:57:01.880> shown<01:57:02.160> to<01:57:02.280> me<01:57:02.520> that<01:57:02.720> everything<01:57:03.200> here<01:57:03.520> happens<01:57:03.960> for<01:57:04.120> a<01:57:04.200> reason,<01:57:04.680> everything.

01:57:05.360 --> 01:57:13.800
And<01:57:05.520> I<01:57:05.560> know<01:57:05.800> it<01:57:05.920> sounds<01:57:06.200> crazy,<01:57:07.160> but<01:57:07.680> um<01:57:08.760> I'll<01:57:08.920> go<01:57:09.040> back<01:57:09.320> to<01:57:09.400> the<01:57:09.520> word<01:57:09.800> if<01:57:10.520> if<01:57:10.920> in<01:57:11.120> an<01:57:11.360> example<01:57:12.480> a<01:57:12.640> parent<01:57:13.160> is<01:57:13.280> supposed<01:57:13.680> to

01:57:13.800 --> 01:57:21.600
lose<01:57:14.040> a<01:57:14.120> child<01:57:15.600> and<01:57:16.160> that<01:57:16.320> is<01:57:16.520> part<01:57:16.800> of<01:57:17.120> what<01:57:17.280> they're<01:57:17.440> supposed<01:57:17.760> to<01:57:17.840> experience<01:57:18.400> here,<01:57:18.800> how<01:57:19.160> will<01:57:19.520> they<01:57:19.720> lose<01:57:20.000> that<01:57:20.160> child?

01:57:21.600 --> 01:57:23.960
Something<01:57:22.400> has<01:57:22.640> to<01:57:22.760> happen<01:57:23.160> to<01:57:23.280> the<01:57:23.400> child.

01:57:23.960 --> 01:57:31.160
Well,<01:57:24.120> in<01:57:24.200> this<01:57:24.400> case<01:57:24.640> you<01:57:24.760> would<01:57:24.880> say<01:57:25.000> it's<01:57:25.160> a<01:57:25.240> war.<01:57:26.720> Two<01:57:27.040> fighters<01:57:27.480> point<01:57:27.720> guns<01:57:28.000> at<01:57:28.120> each<01:57:28.280> other,<01:57:28.560> one<01:57:28.760> shoots<01:57:29.040> the<01:57:29.200> other,<01:57:29.520> and<01:57:29.640> the<01:57:29.720> parent<01:57:30.040> experiences<01:57:30.720> the<01:57:30.800> loss

01:57:31.160 --> 01:57:38.800
that<01:57:31.280> they<01:57:31.400> were<01:57:31.520> supposed<01:57:31.840> to<01:57:31.920> experience.<01:57:33.200> We<01:57:33.600> don't<01:57:33.960> see<01:57:34.200> it<01:57:34.400> that<01:57:34.640> way<01:57:34.840> because<01:57:35.200> we're<01:57:35.320> not<01:57:35.560> all<01:57:37.040> in<01:57:37.400> the<01:57:37.520> knowing<01:57:37.920> of<01:57:38.080> how<01:57:38.240> it<01:57:38.400> works.

01:57:38.800 --> 01:57:42.080
We<01:57:39.000> see<01:57:39.640> the<01:57:39.760> violence,<01:57:40.280> we<01:57:40.400> see<01:57:40.560> the<01:57:40.760> end<01:57:41.040> result.

01:57:42.080 --> 01:57:47.960
We<01:57:42.240> don't<01:57:42.440> see<01:57:42.600> the<01:57:42.720> dominoes<01:57:43.240> that<01:57:43.400> had<01:57:43.600> to<01:57:43.720> fall<01:57:44.000> or<01:57:44.120> the<01:57:44.240> lead<01:57:44.560> up<01:57:44.800> or<01:57:44.960> with<01:57:45.040> the<01:57:45.160> agreement<01:57:45.760> of<01:57:45.880> what<01:57:46.040> somebody<01:57:46.400> came<01:57:46.640> to<01:57:46.800> experience.

01:57:47.960 --> 01:57:54.880
And<01:57:48.120> that's<01:57:48.400> difficult.<01:57:49.640> But<01:57:49.880> it<01:57:50.000> was<01:57:50.120> shown<01:57:50.360> to<01:57:50.480> me<01:57:50.600> that<01:57:50.840> everything<01:57:51.440> here<01:57:52.160> is<01:57:52.440> meant<01:57:53.000> to<01:57:53.160> happen<01:57:53.560> for<01:57:53.800> a<01:57:53.840> reason.

01:57:54.880 --> 01:57:57.240
And<01:57:55.000> you<01:57:55.160> could<01:57:55.320> say,<01:57:55.480> "Well,<01:57:55.640> I<01:57:55.680> want<01:57:55.880> to<01:57:56.000> solve<01:57:56.480> all<01:57:56.680> violence."

01:57:57.240 --> 01:58:02.640
And<01:57:57.360> in<01:57:57.560> order<01:57:57.800> to<01:57:57.920> do<01:57:58.160> that,<01:57:58.440> as<01:57:58.640> it<01:57:58.760> was<01:57:58.920> shown<01:57:59.160> to<01:57:59.280> me,<01:58:00.320> we<01:58:00.640> would<01:58:00.840> all<01:58:01.000> have<01:58:01.240> to<01:58:01.360> live<01:58:01.600> forever.

01:58:02.640 --> 01:58:08.800
We<01:58:02.880> would<01:58:03.040> have<01:58:03.280> to<01:58:03.400> make<01:58:03.640> the<01:58:03.720> choice<01:58:04.080> consciously<01:58:04.720> right<01:58:04.960> now,<01:58:05.280> all<01:58:05.560> of<01:58:05.680> us,<01:58:06.080> everywhere<01:58:06.640> in<01:58:06.720> the<01:58:06.800> world,<01:58:07.120> to<01:58:07.240> say,<01:58:07.760> "You<01:58:07.880> know<01:58:08.040> what?

01:58:08.800 --> 01:58:14.040
No<01:58:09.240> more<01:58:09.680> violence."<01:58:10.800> And<01:58:11.080> then<01:58:11.280> none<01:58:11.480> of<01:58:11.600> us<01:58:11.760> could<01:58:11.920> have<01:58:12.120> children<01:58:12.640> ever<01:58:12.880> again.

01:58:14.040 --> 01:58:20.200
Because<01:58:14.440> a<01:58:14.480> child<01:58:14.920> will<01:58:15.040> come<01:58:15.280> in<01:58:15.800> and<01:58:15.960> will<01:58:16.080> pick<01:58:16.280> up<01:58:16.400> a<01:58:16.480> stick<01:58:16.840> or<01:58:16.920> pick<01:58:17.160> up<01:58:17.280> a<01:58:17.360> stone<01:58:18.280> because<01:58:18.640> it's<01:58:18.760> supposed<01:58:19.160> to.

01:58:20.200 --> 01:58:24.040
So,<01:58:20.840> it's<01:58:21.160> understanding<01:58:21.760> that<01:58:21.880> everything<01:58:22.280> happens<01:58:22.720> for<01:58:22.880> a<01:58:22.960> reason.

01:58:24.040 --> 01:58:32.160
You<01:58:24.320> could<01:58:24.560> say<01:58:24.720> the<01:58:24.880> greater<01:58:25.440> reason<01:58:25.880> is<01:58:26.040> can<01:58:26.320> you<01:58:26.440> find<01:58:26.880> love<01:58:28.080> for<01:58:28.480> the<01:58:28.600> people<01:58:29.560> who<01:58:29.680> are<01:58:29.920> interacting<01:58:30.720> in<01:58:30.880> the<01:58:31.000> world?

01:58:32.160 --> 01:58:34.400
Can<01:58:32.400> you<01:58:32.480> find<01:58:32.760> love<01:58:33.000> for<01:58:33.120> the<01:58:33.240> person<01:58:33.560> who<01:58:33.680> lost<01:58:33.960> their<01:58:34.080> life?

01:58:34.400 --> 01:58:40.640
Can<01:58:34.560> you<01:58:34.680> find<01:58:34.920> love<01:58:35.120> for<01:58:35.200> their<01:58:35.360> family?<01:58:35.760> Can<01:58:36.000> you<01:58:36.160> love<01:58:37.120> the<01:58:37.280> fighter<01:58:37.760> who<01:58:37.960> fired<01:58:38.360> the<01:58:38.440> bullet?

01:58:40.640 --> 01:58:48.240
When<01:58:40.920> you<01:58:41.040> understand<01:58:41.480> that<01:58:41.720> you<01:58:42.000> are<01:58:42.320> unconditional<01:58:43.040> love,<01:58:43.320> which<01:58:43.480> means<01:58:43.680> there's<01:58:43.880> no<01:58:44.040> condition<01:58:44.560> or<01:58:44.760> exception<01:58:45.840> to<01:58:46.000> being<01:58:46.280> the<01:58:46.400> love<01:58:46.640> that<01:58:46.840> you<01:58:47.000> are,<01:58:47.840> then<01:58:48.080> you're

01:58:48.240 --> 01:58:53.120
there.<01:58:49.360> But<01:58:50.080> until<01:58:50.480> then,<01:58:51.400> try<01:58:51.800> not<01:58:52.040> to<01:58:52.120> judge<01:58:52.400> everything<01:58:52.920> see.

01:58:53.120 --> 01:58:57.080
There's<01:58:53.320> a<01:58:53.400> greater<01:58:53.720> hand<01:58:53.960> at<01:58:54.080> work.<01:58:55.400> Yeah,<01:58:56.320> I<01:58:56.440> agree<01:58:56.680> with<01:58:56.840> that.

01:58:57.080 --> 01:59:07.040
And<01:58:57.200> I<01:58:57.280> understand<01:58:57.800> how<01:58:57.960> it<01:58:58.120> can<01:58:58.280> be<01:58:58.840> it<01:58:58.920> could<01:58:59.040> seem<01:58:59.480> rather<01:58:59.720> harsh<01:59:00.920> and<01:59:01.480> insensitive<01:59:03.120> to<01:59:03.400> to<01:59:03.560> see<01:59:03.720> it<01:59:03.840> that<01:59:04.040> way,<01:59:04.280> but<01:59:05.840> if

01:59:07.040 --> 01:59:09.840
this<01:59:07.280> kind<01:59:07.480> of<01:59:07.560> leads<01:59:07.760> into<01:59:07.960> the<01:59:08.080> question<01:59:08.440> of<01:59:08.600> karma<01:59:09.080> actually.

01:59:09.840 --> 01:59:14.320
Um<01:59:10.640> I've<01:59:10.840> heard<01:59:11.080> I<01:59:11.160> heard<01:59:11.440> you<01:59:11.560> say<01:59:12.160> "Karma<01:59:12.520> is<01:59:12.680> judgment,<01:59:13.240> throw<01:59:13.440> it<01:59:13.600> out."

01:59:14.320 --> 01:59:19.880
And<01:59:14.680> I<01:59:14.760> think<01:59:15.040> very<01:59:15.440> often<01:59:15.760> the<01:59:15.840> way<01:59:16.040> the<01:59:16.200> word<01:59:16.520> is<01:59:16.680> used<01:59:17.120> or<01:59:17.200> the<01:59:17.240> way<01:59:17.360> the<01:59:17.440> concept<01:59:18.040> of<01:59:18.200> is<01:59:18.440> used,<01:59:18.840> it<01:59:18.960> is<01:59:19.120> judgment.

01:59:19.880 --> 01:59:28.800
And<01:59:20.600> but<01:59:20.880> I<01:59:20.920> don't<01:59:21.080> think<01:59:21.320> that's<01:59:21.680> necessarily<01:59:22.520> the<01:59:23.760> original<01:59:24.320> or<01:59:24.440> deepest<01:59:24.920> understanding<01:59:25.680> of<01:59:25.800> the<01:59:26.040> of<01:59:26.200> the<01:59:27.400> the<01:59:27.520> principle.

01:59:28.800 --> 01:59:37.400
Um<01:59:29.360> and<01:59:30.000> you<01:59:30.120> know,<01:59:30.280> often<01:59:30.840> people<01:59:31.120> with<01:59:31.280> an<01:59:31.400> incomplete<01:59:31.960> understanding<01:59:32.600> of<01:59:33.120> all<01:59:33.240> kinds<01:59:33.480> of<01:59:33.600> things<01:59:34.320> um<01:59:34.760> bastardize<01:59:35.680> those<01:59:36.000> things<01:59:36.440> and<01:59:36.840> turn

01:59:37.400 --> 01:59:42.640
turn<01:59:37.640> a<01:59:37.680> beautiful<01:59:38.080> thing<01:59:38.400> into<01:59:38.800> a<01:59:39.880> you<01:59:40.040> know,<01:59:40.280> a<01:59:40.400> harsh<01:59:40.880> or<01:59:41.200> or<01:59:41.360> senseless<01:59:41.840> thing.

01:59:42.640 --> 01:59:50.720
So,<01:59:43.400> um<01:59:44.480> but<01:59:45.000> in<01:59:45.160> terms<01:59:45.400> of<01:59:45.480> what<01:59:45.640> you<01:59:45.760> just<01:59:46.000> said,<01:59:47.200> well,<01:59:47.760> I'll<01:59:47.960> I<01:59:48.040> should<01:59:48.240> ask<01:59:48.400> you<01:59:48.520> what<01:59:48.720> your<01:59:48.880> understanding<01:59:49.520> of<01:59:49.600> the<01:59:49.680> law<01:59:49.880> of<01:59:50.000> karma<01:59:50.320> is,<01:59:50.400> but<01:59:50.520> let<01:59:50.640> me

01:59:50.720 --> 01:59:59.680
take<01:59:50.880> a<01:59:50.920> shot<01:59:51.200> at<01:59:51.320> it<01:59:51.400> and<01:59:51.480> see<01:59:51.600> if<01:59:51.720> you<01:59:51.840> agree<01:59:52.200> with<01:59:52.360> it,<01:59:52.920> which<01:59:53.160> is<01:59:53.280> just<01:59:53.520> that<01:59:54.520> divine<01:59:55.080> intelligence<01:59:56.240> permeates<01:59:56.840> and<01:59:56.920> orchestrates<01:59:57.520> everything<01:59:58.800> and

01:59:59.680 --> 02:00:08.960
it<01:59:59.920> has<02:00:00.240> the<02:00:01.840> omniscience<02:00:03.520> as<02:00:03.760> you<02:00:03.920> have<02:00:04.080> alluded<02:00:04.560> to<02:00:05.200> to<02:00:05.360> actually<02:00:05.760> be<02:00:05.960> able<02:00:06.200> to<02:00:07.160> um<02:00:08.120> orchestrate

02:00:08.960 --> 02:00:15.800
with<02:00:09.330> such<02:00:09.700> perfection<02:00:10.070> that<02:00:10.440> as<02:00:10.810> you<02:00:11.180> said,<02:00:11.550> [clears<02:00:11.920> throat]<02:00:12.290> no<02:00:12.660> speck<02:00:13.030> of<02:00:13.400> dust<02:00:13.770> is<02:00:14.140> out<02:00:14.510> of<02:00:14.880> place.

02:00:15.800 --> 02:00:22.520
And<02:00:16.040> in<02:00:16.120> fact,<02:00:16.360> I<02:00:16.440> heard<02:00:16.720> someone<02:00:17.160> say<02:00:17.400> if<02:00:17.560> if<02:00:17.720> there's<02:00:17.960> one<02:00:18.200> molecule<02:00:19.040> in<02:00:19.160> the<02:00:19.240> universe<02:00:19.680> that's<02:00:19.880> out<02:00:20.040> of<02:00:20.160> place,<02:00:20.560> then<02:00:20.880> God<02:00:21.160> doesn't<02:00:21.440> exist.

02:00:22.520 --> 02:00:24.560
But<02:00:23.160> but<02:00:23.320> there<02:00:23.520> isn't,<02:00:24.080> you<02:00:24.200> know.

02:00:24.560 --> 02:00:29.120
<02:00:24.764> Yeah.<02:00:24.968> And<02:00:25.173> so,<02:00:25.377> my<02:00:25.581> understanding<02:00:25.785> of<02:00:25.989> karma<02:00:26.194> is<02:00:26.398> not<02:00:26.602> like<02:00:26.806> oh,<02:00:27.011> you<02:00:27.215> have<02:00:27.419> cancer,<02:00:27.623> it<02:00:27.827> must<02:00:28.032> be<02:00:28.236> your<02:00:28.440> karma.

02:00:29.120 --> 02:00:38.280
It's<02:00:29.320> more<02:00:29.560> that<02:00:30.040> um<02:00:30.720> there's<02:00:31.120> just<02:00:31.440> this<02:00:32.320> infinitely<02:00:34.200> omniscient<02:00:35.040> orchestration<02:00:36.000> of<02:00:36.160> the<02:00:36.280> entire<02:00:36.760> universe,<02:00:37.280> every

02:00:38.280 --> 02:00:47.080
flap<02:00:38.680> of<02:00:38.800> a<02:00:38.880> bird's<02:00:39.280> wing,<02:00:39.640> every<02:00:40.360> little<02:00:40.680> thing<02:00:41.000> that<02:00:41.200> happens<02:00:42.000> is<02:00:42.240> part<02:00:42.520> of<02:00:42.600> this<02:00:42.800> cosmic<02:00:43.400> dance<02:00:44.640> uh<02:00:45.200> that<02:00:45.480> is<02:00:46.200> there's<02:00:46.600> nothing

02:00:47.080 --> 02:00:51.680
arbitrary.<02:00:48.360> Nothing<02:00:48.760> capricious,<02:00:49.520> nothing<02:00:49.960> meaningless,<02:00:50.600> nothing<02:00:50.960> accidental.

02:00:51.680 --> 02:01:00.520
The<02:00:51.880> whole<02:00:52.080> thing<02:00:52.280> is<02:00:52.880> orchestrated<02:00:53.640> to<02:00:53.760> facilitate<02:00:55.160> um<02:00:56.000> spiritual<02:00:56.520> evolution<02:00:57.560> uh<02:00:57.760> on<02:00:58.040> both<02:00:58.280> an<02:00:58.400> individual<02:00:59.000> and<02:00:59.120> a<02:00:59.160> cosmic<02:00:59.640> scale.

02:01:00.520 --> 02:01:03.200
Yep.<02:01:01.560> Yeah,<02:01:01.920> I<02:01:02.000> would<02:01:02.160> agree<02:01:02.400> with<02:01:02.520> that<02:01:02.720> completely.

02:01:03.200 --> 02:01:11.800
I<02:01:03.280> think<02:01:03.520> the<02:01:03.600> part<02:01:03.920> of<02:01:04.600> uh<02:01:06.160> the<02:01:06.520> little<02:01:06.880> karmic<02:01:07.320> understanding<02:01:07.800> that<02:01:07.960> I<02:01:08.080> have<02:01:08.520> is<02:01:09.360> you<02:01:09.680> act<02:01:10.000> a<02:01:10.040> certain<02:01:10.520> way<02:01:10.800> that<02:01:11.160> therefore<02:01:11.640> it

02:01:11.800 --> 02:01:16.560
dictates,<02:01:12.480> you<02:01:12.600> know,<02:01:14.040> you're<02:01:14.320> coming<02:01:14.680> back<02:01:15.120> to<02:01:15.240> be<02:01:15.400> the<02:01:15.520> street<02:01:15.840> sweeper.

02:01:16.560 --> 02:01:19.680
Yeah,<02:01:16.800> who<02:01:16.920> knows?<02:01:17.360> It's<02:01:17.560> It's<02:01:17.720> that's<02:01:17.920> too<02:01:18.080> simplistic<02:01:18.760> to<02:01:18.880> make<02:01:19.040> that<02:01:19.240> judgment.

02:01:19.680 --> 02:01:24.400
<02:01:20.116> Yeah.<02:01:20.552> Yeah.<02:01:20.988> Yeah.<02:01:21.424> Um<02:01:21.860> okay,<02:01:22.296> [clears<02:01:22.732> throat]<02:01:23.168> another<02:01:23.604> random<02:01:24.040> question.

02:01:24.400 --> 02:01:27.080
I<02:01:24.440> wanted<02:01:24.640> to<02:01:24.720> get<02:01:25.120> all<02:01:25.280> the<02:01:25.400> ones<02:01:25.720> in<02:01:25.880> from<02:01:26.040> the<02:01:26.160> listeners.

02:01:27.080 --> 02:01:34.600
From<02:01:27.400> Kelly<02:01:27.800> in<02:01:27.920> Rhode<02:01:28.120> Island,<02:01:28.520> if<02:01:28.760> I<02:01:28.880> fully<02:01:29.280> embody<02:01:29.720> divine<02:01:30.200> love<02:01:30.440> of<02:01:30.560> source,<02:01:31.640> does<02:01:31.840> that<02:01:32.040> mean<02:01:32.320> I<02:01:32.400> should<02:01:32.560> be<02:01:32.680> able<02:01:32.840> to<02:01:32.960> stay<02:01:33.240> in<02:01:33.360> a<02:01:33.400> marriage<02:01:33.880> that<02:01:34.040> is<02:01:34.160> currently

02:01:34.600 --> 02:01:38.600
broken?<02:01:35.480> Would<02:01:35.680> unconditional<02:01:36.400> love<02:01:36.720> heal<02:01:37.000> it?

02:01:38.600 --> 02:01:41.560
Yeah,<02:01:39.040> it's<02:01:39.240> possible<02:01:39.920> unconditional<02:01:40.560> love<02:01:40.760> can<02:01:40.960> heal<02:01:41.200> it.

02:01:41.560 --> 02:01:49.080
However,<02:01:42.160> that<02:01:43.360> I<02:01:43.560> would<02:01:43.760> say<02:01:44.000> that<02:01:44.240> you're<02:01:44.360> trying<02:01:44.760> to<02:01:45.040> apply<02:01:46.560> a<02:01:46.720> salve,<02:01:47.880> an<02:01:48.080> external<02:01:48.560> salve.

02:01:49.080 --> 02:01:55.520
I<02:01:49.120> would<02:01:49.280> say<02:01:49.440> be<02:01:49.720> unconditional<02:01:50.440> love,<02:01:50.680> but<02:01:50.840> that<02:01:51.000> also<02:01:51.680> includes<02:01:52.160> the<02:01:52.280> unconditional<02:01:52.840> love<02:01:53.040> that<02:01:53.160> you<02:01:53.240> need<02:01:53.400> to<02:01:53.520> have<02:01:53.720> for<02:01:53.840> yourself.

02:01:55.520 --> 02:01:58.880
That's<02:01:55.800> self-love,<02:01:56.480> which<02:01:56.680> means<02:01:56.920> having<02:01:57.200> a<02:01:57.240> healthy<02:01:57.560> boundary.

02:01:58.880 --> 02:02:01.280
So,<02:01:59.920> is<02:02:00.120> the<02:02:00.200> marriage<02:02:00.560> supposed<02:02:00.920> to<02:02:01.000> work?

02:02:01.280 --> 02:02:08.640
It's<02:02:01.440> less<02:02:01.640> about<02:02:01.960> that<02:02:02.360> and<02:02:02.480> more<02:02:02.680> about<02:02:03.000> understanding<02:02:03.640> your<02:02:03.800> love<02:02:04.240> unconditionally<02:02:04.920> for<02:02:05.080> the<02:02:05.240> other<02:02:05.480> has<02:02:05.680> nothing<02:02:06.000> to<02:02:06.120> do<02:02:06.360> with<02:02:06.520> the<02:02:06.640> marriage<02:02:06.960> working<02:02:07.320> or<02:02:07.440> not.

02:02:08.640 --> 02:02:12.080
Unconditional<02:02:09.480> love<02:02:10.040> has<02:02:10.400> no<02:02:10.640> condition.

02:02:12.080 --> 02:02:14.240
And<02:02:12.240> that<02:02:12.400> same<02:02:12.680> love<02:02:12.880> needs<02:02:13.080> to<02:02:13.160> be<02:02:13.280> pointed<02:02:13.680> at<02:02:13.840> you.

02:02:14.240 --> 02:02:16.480
You<02:02:14.520> have<02:02:14.880> no<02:02:15.120> condition<02:02:15.760> to<02:02:15.880> love<02:02:16.080> yourself.

02:02:16.480 --> 02:02:21.440
Well,<02:02:16.560> I<02:02:16.640> love<02:02:16.840> myself<02:02:17.280> more<02:02:17.800> if<02:02:18.040> I<02:02:18.120> leave<02:02:18.520> or<02:02:18.640> I<02:02:18.680> love<02:02:18.880> myself<02:02:19.280> less<02:02:19.520> if<02:02:19.640> I<02:02:19.720> stay.

02:02:21.440 --> 02:02:28.600
You<02:02:21.640> have<02:02:21.960> to<02:02:22.120> set<02:02:22.440> the<02:02:22.520> boundary<02:02:23.080> of<02:02:23.240> unconditional<02:02:23.840> love<02:02:24.040> for<02:02:24.200> you,<02:02:24.880> which<02:02:25.040> allows<02:02:25.360> you<02:02:25.440> to<02:02:25.560> unconditionally<02:02:26.120> love<02:02:26.360> another,<02:02:27.400> and<02:02:27.680> then<02:02:27.880> you<02:02:27.960> will<02:02:28.080> be<02:02:28.160> able<02:02:28.320> to<02:02:28.440> make

02:02:28.600 --> 02:02:32.840
that<02:02:28.800> decision.<02:02:30.160> And<02:02:30.360> so,<02:02:30.520> how<02:02:30.760> does<02:02:31.000> one<02:02:31.200> culture<02:02:31.720> unconditional<02:02:32.400> love?

02:02:32.840 --> 02:02:35.880
I<02:02:32.880> mean,<02:02:33.520> it's<02:02:33.720> like<02:02:33.960> saying<02:02:34.960> I<02:02:35.120> don't<02:02:35.320> know.

02:02:35.880 --> 02:02:41.320
I<02:02:35.920> mean,<02:02:36.160> do<02:02:36.280> we<02:02:36.400> all<02:02:36.720> do<02:02:36.840> we<02:02:36.960> all<02:02:37.080> have<02:02:37.240> the<02:02:37.320> capacity<02:02:38.040> to<02:02:38.200> just<02:02:38.920> snap<02:02:39.240> our<02:02:39.360> fingers<02:02:39.800> and<02:02:39.960> be<02:02:40.160> unconditionally<02:02:40.920> loving?

02:02:41.320 --> 02:02:47.640
It's<02:02:41.800> It's<02:02:41.960> like<02:02:42.160> do<02:02:42.320> I<02:02:42.360> have<02:02:42.560> the<02:02:42.640> capacity<02:02:43.160> to<02:02:43.600> join<02:02:43.880> a<02:02:43.920> Major<02:02:44.200> League<02:02:44.400> baseball<02:02:44.800> team<02:02:45.120> and<02:02:45.200> start<02:02:45.520> hitting<02:02:45.800> a<02:02:45.840> 500<02:02:46.680> average<02:02:47.160> or<02:02:47.240> something?

02:02:47.640 --> 02:02:54.840
No,<02:02:47.880> I<02:02:47.920> don't.<02:02:48.834> [laughter]<02:02:49.600> The<02:02:49.720> truth<02:02:50.080> is<02:02:50.320> yet<02:02:50.640> the<02:02:50.760> truth<02:02:51.120> is<02:02:51.360> you<02:02:51.560> can,<02:02:52.040> but<02:02:52.200> it<02:02:52.320> would<02:02:52.480> take<02:02:52.760> a<02:02:52.880> an<02:02:53.000> extreme<02:02:53.600> example,<02:02:54.520> right?

02:02:54.840 --> 02:03:01.000
It<02:02:55.040> It<02:02:55.120> would<02:02:55.240> take<02:02:55.520> something<02:02:55.960> extreme<02:02:56.960> for<02:02:57.240> you<02:02:57.400> to<02:02:57.560> have<02:02:57.920> no<02:02:58.240> condition<02:02:59.440> to<02:02:59.800> love<02:03:00.080> another.

02:03:01.000 --> 02:03:05.000
And<02:03:01.440> And<02:03:01.640> usually<02:03:02.160> we<02:03:02.360> see<02:03:02.560> that<02:03:02.840> happen<02:03:03.200> in<02:03:03.360> states<02:03:03.680> of<02:03:03.800> emergency.

02:03:05.000 --> 02:03:12.600
Right?<02:03:05.320> You<02:03:05.400> see<02:03:05.560> somebody<02:03:05.920> a<02:03:06.000> car<02:03:06.280> crash<02:03:06.800> on<02:03:06.920> the<02:03:07.000> side<02:03:07.200> of<02:03:07.280> the<02:03:07.360> road<02:03:07.800> and<02:03:07.920> you<02:03:08.040> see<02:03:09.440> you<02:03:09.480> know,<02:03:09.680> you<02:03:09.800> see<02:03:09.960> a<02:03:10.040> toddler<02:03:10.640> in<02:03:10.720> the<02:03:10.840> middle<02:03:11.080> of<02:03:11.160> the<02:03:11.280> road<02:03:11.720> and<02:03:11.840> you<02:03:12.080> run<02:03:12.360> out

02:03:12.600 --> 02:03:14.600
and<02:03:12.720> risk<02:03:12.960> getting<02:03:13.280> run<02:03:13.520> over<02:03:13.720> by<02:03:13.920> a<02:03:14.000> truck,<02:03:14.440> right?

02:03:14.600 --> 02:03:18.920
You<02:03:14.760> unconditionally<02:03:15.400> love<02:03:15.600> that<02:03:15.920> that<02:03:16.120> child<02:03:16.560> and<02:03:16.640> you<02:03:16.720> want<02:03:16.880> to<02:03:16.960> rescue<02:03:17.320> that<02:03:17.480> child.

02:03:18.920 --> 02:03:24.080
So,<02:03:19.120> it<02:03:19.200> is<02:03:19.360> possible.<02:03:20.120> I<02:03:20.240> think<02:03:20.720> more<02:03:21.440> or<02:03:21.560> less<02:03:21.960> it's<02:03:22.760> where<02:03:22.960> does<02:03:23.160> it<02:03:23.320> start?

02:03:24.080 --> 02:03:26.960
And<02:03:24.240> I<02:03:24.320> tell<02:03:24.560> everybody<02:03:24.960> to<02:03:25.120> start<02:03:25.400> with<02:03:25.560> yourself.<02:03:26.640> You're<02:03:26.760> right.

02:03:26.960 --> 02:03:34.200
If<02:03:27.120> you<02:03:27.240> can<02:03:27.680> look<02:03:27.960> in<02:03:28.040> the<02:03:28.120> mirror<02:03:28.520> and<02:03:28.640> look<02:03:28.760> at<02:03:28.880> all<02:03:29.080> the<02:03:29.200> ugly<02:03:29.560> thoughts<02:03:29.960> you've<02:03:30.160> ever<02:03:30.360> had,<02:03:30.800> you<02:03:30.920> can<02:03:31.080> look<02:03:31.240> at<02:03:31.400> that<02:03:31.600> one<02:03:31.840> time<02:03:32.200> you<02:03:32.320> stole<02:03:32.600> that<02:03:33.240> whatever<02:03:33.680> you<02:03:33.800> stole

02:03:34.200 --> 02:03:36.600
when<02:03:34.360> you<02:03:34.400> were<02:03:34.560> 15.<02:03:35.480> Bubble<02:03:35.760> gum.

02:03:36.600 --> 02:03:39.600
Yeah.<02:03:37.520> I<02:03:37.640> got<02:03:38.320> uh<02:03:38.720> Old<02:03:39.000> Field<02:03:39.280> Road.

02:03:39.600 --> 02:03:46.440
I<02:03:39.640> remember<02:03:39.960> the<02:03:40.040> store.<02:03:41.235> [laughter]<02:03:42.800> If<02:03:43.280> you<02:03:43.400> can<02:03:43.640> If<02:03:43.840> you<02:03:43.960> can<02:03:44.120> look<02:03:44.320> in<02:03:44.400> the<02:03:44.480> mirror<02:03:44.760> and<02:03:44.960> love<02:03:45.280> that<02:03:45.640> kid,<02:03:46.120> right?

02:03:46.440 --> 02:03:52.640
You<02:03:46.600> love<02:03:46.880> that<02:03:47.120> person.<02:03:48.200> You<02:03:48.320> don't<02:03:48.560> say<02:03:48.800> call<02:03:49.160> up<02:03:49.280> the<02:03:49.400> store<02:03:49.760> and<02:03:50.000> and<02:03:50.240> resolve<02:03:50.800> it,<02:03:51.000> you<02:03:51.120> just<02:03:51.440> love<02:03:51.840> the<02:03:51.960> person,<02:03:52.440> right?

02:03:52.640 --> 02:03:55.680
Because<02:03:53.000> we're<02:03:53.600> we're<02:03:53.760> creatures<02:03:54.240> of<02:03:54.400> perfection.

02:03:55.680 --> 02:04:02.400
And<02:03:55.840> we're<02:03:55.960> constantly<02:03:56.560> judging<02:03:56.960> ourselves.<02:03:57.480> We're<02:03:57.600> constantly<02:03:58.040> walking<02:03:58.440> through<02:03:58.640> life<02:03:58.920> with<02:03:59.080> some<02:03:59.240> kind<02:03:59.440> of<02:03:59.600> grading<02:04:00.080> system<02:04:00.520> on<02:04:00.640> how<02:04:00.840> we<02:04:01.160> are<02:04:01.520> without<02:04:01.880> us<02:04:02.040> knowing

02:04:02.400 --> 02:04:06.480
it.<02:04:03.160> And<02:04:03.280> when<02:04:03.400> you<02:04:03.480> can<02:04:03.640> look<02:04:03.760> in<02:04:03.840> the<02:04:03.920> mirror<02:04:04.160> and<02:04:04.280> say,<02:04:04.560> "I<02:04:04.680> love<02:04:04.920> myself<02:04:05.240> no<02:04:05.320> matter<02:04:05.560> what."

02:04:06.480 --> 02:04:11.400
It's<02:04:06.640> like<02:04:07.560> from<02:04:07.760> the<02:04:07.880> life<02:04:08.200> review,<02:04:08.720> I<02:04:08.840> was<02:04:09.080> loved<02:04:09.520> no<02:04:09.800> matter<02:04:10.200> what.

02:04:11.400 --> 02:04:18.480
And<02:04:11.520> if<02:04:11.640> you<02:04:11.760> can<02:04:11.920> give<02:04:12.120> that<02:04:12.280> to<02:04:12.400> yourself<02:04:12.840> here,<02:04:13.200> then<02:04:13.400> that's<02:04:13.800> starting<02:04:14.520> that<02:04:14.720> understanding<02:04:15.440> that,<02:04:15.640> "Well,<02:04:15.840> if<02:04:16.080> I<02:04:16.160> have<02:04:16.360> no<02:04:16.480> condition<02:04:16.920> to<02:04:17.040> love<02:04:17.320> me,<02:04:18.000> it's<02:04:18.120> not<02:04:18.280> whether

02:04:18.480 --> 02:04:22.200
I<02:04:18.520> have<02:04:18.640> a<02:04:18.680> good<02:04:18.880> day<02:04:19.000> or<02:04:19.120> bad<02:04:19.360> day,<02:04:19.520> that's<02:04:19.720> irrelevant.<02:04:20.240> I<02:04:20.320> love<02:04:20.560> myself<02:04:20.920> no<02:04:21.000> matter<02:04:21.240> what."

02:04:22.200 --> 02:04:24.680
Then<02:04:22.320> I<02:04:22.360> certainly<02:04:22.760> can<02:04:22.920> stretch<02:04:23.320> that<02:04:23.560> to<02:04:23.680> somebody<02:04:24.120> else.

02:04:24.680 --> 02:04:27.400
Maybe<02:04:24.960> I<02:04:25.040> can<02:04:25.200> stretch<02:04:25.480> that<02:04:25.680> to<02:04:25.760> my<02:04:25.920> spouse.<02:04:26.360> I'll<02:04:26.440> start<02:04:26.760> there.

02:04:27.400 --> 02:04:30.160
Maybe<02:04:27.760> that<02:04:28.040> turns<02:04:28.360> into<02:04:28.680> the<02:04:28.800> neighbors<02:04:29.240> as<02:04:29.400> well.

02:04:30.160 --> 02:04:36.200
But<02:04:30.280> it's<02:04:30.440> just<02:04:30.800> knowing<02:04:31.360> that<02:04:31.600> deep<02:04:31.920> down<02:04:32.320> under<02:04:32.600> all<02:04:32.920> the<02:04:33.040> layers<02:04:33.480> of<02:04:33.560> the<02:04:33.760> ego,<02:04:34.920> you<02:04:35.120> are<02:04:35.240> love<02:04:35.480> itself.

02:04:36.200 --> 02:04:40.920
It<02:04:36.400> does<02:04:36.680> exist.<02:04:37.440> For<02:04:37.680> others<02:04:38.000> it's<02:04:38.160> going<02:04:38.440> you<02:04:38.560> know,<02:04:38.680> for<02:04:38.800> some<02:04:39.040> it's<02:04:39.160> going<02:04:39.280> to<02:04:39.320> be<02:04:39.400> very<02:04:39.680> hard<02:04:39.920> to<02:04:40.000> get<02:04:40.200> there.

02:04:40.920 --> 02:04:43.280
The<02:04:41.160> I<02:04:41.360> I<02:04:41.480> hear<02:04:41.680> it<02:04:41.760> all<02:04:41.880> the<02:04:42.000> time.<02:04:42.280> I<02:04:42.360> just<02:04:42.640> don't<02:04:42.880> feel<02:04:43.040> love.

02:04:43.280 --> 02:04:46.320
I<02:04:43.360> love<02:04:43.600> myself,<02:04:44.120> but<02:04:44.240> I<02:04:44.280> don't<02:04:44.560> feel<02:04:44.880> it.

02:04:46.320 --> 02:04:48.640
To<02:04:46.480> me,<02:04:46.680> that's<02:04:47.000> loving<02:04:47.360> yourself<02:04:47.720> through<02:04:47.880> the<02:04:48.080> ego.

02:04:48.640 --> 02:04:51.080
I'm<02:04:48.880> supposed<02:04:49.560> to<02:04:49.680> love<02:04:49.880> myself,<02:04:50.720> right?

02:04:51.080 --> 02:04:55.120
I'd<02:04:51.280> say<02:04:51.440> get<02:04:51.920> bypass<02:04:52.520> that<02:04:53.000> because<02:04:53.280> you're<02:04:53.400> just<02:04:53.560> calculating<02:04:54.280> love.

02:04:55.120 --> 02:04:57.880
Love<02:04:55.360> is<02:04:55.560> felt.<02:04:55.880> Go<02:04:56.080> hug<02:04:56.360> somebody.<02:04:56.800> Go<02:04:57.000> feed<02:04:57.360> somebody.

02:04:57.880 --> 02:05:06.000
You<02:04:58.000> know,<02:04:58.600> walk<02:04:58.960> the<02:04:59.200> earth<02:04:59.480> in<02:04:59.600> a<02:04:59.640> state<02:04:59.920> of<02:05:00.080> giving<02:05:01.240> and<02:05:01.520> then<02:05:01.760> you<02:05:01.880> will<02:05:02.040> realize<02:05:02.400> you<02:05:02.480> don't<02:05:02.640> have<02:05:02.760> to<02:05:02.880> calculate<02:05:03.480> love,<02:05:03.720> you're<02:05:03.880> just<02:05:04.320> in<02:05:04.440> the<02:05:04.520> state<02:05:05.000> of<02:05:05.160> it.

02:05:06.000 --> 02:05:09.160
So,<02:05:06.160> yeah,<02:05:06.400> it's<02:05:06.640> difficult<02:05:07.160> for<02:05:07.280> some.<02:05:07.560> It<02:05:07.720> comes<02:05:08.400> easy.

02:05:09.160 --> 02:05:15.520
I<02:05:09.240> see<02:05:09.480> others<02:05:10.000> who<02:05:10.200> just<02:05:10.440> find<02:05:10.720> it<02:05:10.800> in<02:05:10.880> a<02:05:10.960> week<02:05:11.600> and<02:05:11.800> they're<02:05:11.920> just<02:05:12.160> in<02:05:12.280> bliss<02:05:12.920> and<02:05:13.080> I've<02:05:13.200> seen<02:05:13.520> all<02:05:13.960> versions<02:05:14.480> of<02:05:14.640> it.

02:05:15.520 --> 02:05:20.040
And<02:05:15.680> I<02:05:15.720> think<02:05:15.960> it's<02:05:16.080> an<02:05:16.200> individual<02:05:16.680> process.<02:05:17.200> You<02:05:17.320> could<02:05:17.560> say<02:05:17.920> it's<02:05:18.160> why<02:05:18.440> we<02:05:18.640> are<02:05:18.760> here.

02:05:20.040 --> 02:05:24.840
Some<02:05:20.400> of<02:05:20.520> you<02:05:20.640> are<02:05:20.720> here<02:05:20.880> to<02:05:21.000> find<02:05:21.240> it<02:05:21.360> easily.<02:05:22.440> Some<02:05:22.720> of<02:05:22.880> you<02:05:23.120> might<02:05:23.480> not<02:05:23.680> find<02:05:23.920> it<02:05:24.040> at<02:05:24.160> all.

02:05:24.840 --> 02:05:29.720
You<02:05:24.960> might<02:05:25.200> not<02:05:25.440> be<02:05:25.560> here<02:05:25.760> to<02:05:25.880> find<02:05:26.240> it.<02:05:27.200> But<02:05:27.400> the<02:05:27.560> opportunity<02:05:28.240> is<02:05:28.400> there<02:05:28.600> to<02:05:28.720> find<02:05:29.040> it.

02:05:29.720 --> 02:05:38.160
Yeah.<02:05:30.920> And<02:05:32.040> you<02:05:32.120> know,<02:05:32.520> somebody<02:05:32.880> used<02:05:33.080> an<02:05:33.160> analogy<02:05:33.720> one<02:05:33.960> time<02:05:34.560> of<02:05:35.240> a<02:05:35.320> man<02:05:35.600> standing<02:05:36.000> in<02:05:36.080> the<02:05:36.160> middle<02:05:36.400> of<02:05:36.480> a<02:05:36.520> great<02:05:36.760> big<02:05:37.000> mud<02:05:37.240> puddle<02:05:37.920> and

02:05:38.160 --> 02:05:42.400
there's<02:05:38.320> somebody<02:05:38.680> way<02:05:38.880> out<02:05:39.000> on<02:05:39.120> the<02:05:39.240> edge<02:05:39.800> and<02:05:40.040> he<02:05:40.160> says,<02:05:40.480> "Hey,<02:05:40.680> how<02:05:40.800> do<02:05:40.880> I<02:05:40.960> get<02:05:41.120> out<02:05:41.240> of<02:05:41.320> this<02:05:41.520> mud<02:05:41.760> puddle?"

02:05:42.400 --> 02:05:46.400
And<02:05:42.480> the<02:05:42.560> guy<02:05:42.720> says,<02:05:42.960> "Take<02:05:43.160> a<02:05:43.200> step."<02:05:44.120> And<02:05:44.200> he<02:05:44.240> says,<02:05:44.520> "You're<02:05:44.680> asking<02:05:44.920> me<02:05:45.040> to<02:05:45.160> step<02:05:45.440> in<02:05:45.520> the<02:05:45.600> mud<02:05:45.800> again?"

02:05:46.400 --> 02:05:52.120
"Yeah,<02:05:46.600> but<02:05:46.760> just<02:05:46.960> take<02:05:47.160> that<02:05:47.400> step<02:05:48.120> and<02:05:48.280> then<02:05:48.440> take<02:05:48.600> another<02:05:48.920> one<02:05:49.360> and<02:05:49.480> you<02:05:49.560> know,<02:05:49.680> sooner<02:05:49.960> or<02:05:50.000> later<02:05:50.240> you're<02:05:50.360> going<02:05:50.480> to<02:05:50.560> be<02:05:50.680> out<02:05:50.800> of<02:05:50.840> the<02:05:50.920> mud<02:05:51.160> puddle."

02:05:52.120 --> 02:05:54.920
Yeah.<02:05:52.720> So<02:05:53.400> that<02:05:53.640> I<02:05:53.720> use<02:05:53.960> that<02:05:54.120> in<02:05:54.240> a<02:05:54.280> talk.

02:05:54.920 --> 02:05:59.600
I<02:05:54.960> use<02:05:55.160> something<02:05:55.480> along<02:05:55.680> those<02:05:55.880> lines<02:05:56.120> like<02:05:56.280> we're<02:05:56.480> all<02:05:56.800> dropped<02:05:57.280> into<02:05:57.560> mud<02:05:57.920> in<02:05:58.160> white<02:05:58.440> clothes.

02:05:59.600 --> 02:06:02.760
And<02:05:59.800> some<02:06:00.000> of<02:06:00.120> us<02:06:00.240> don't<02:06:00.400> want<02:06:00.560> to<02:06:00.600> get<02:06:00.920> dirty,<02:06:01.280> so<02:06:01.400> we<02:06:01.520> don't<02:06:01.760> move.

02:06:02.760 --> 02:06:05.080
And<02:06:02.960> others<02:06:03.280> are<02:06:03.360> like,<02:06:03.600> "Well,<02:06:03.760> who<02:06:03.920> cares<02:06:04.200> about<02:06:04.440> the<02:06:04.520> white<02:06:04.680> clothes?

02:06:05.080 --> 02:06:11.320
I'm<02:06:05.200> getting<02:06:05.440> out<02:06:05.560> of<02:06:05.600> the<02:06:05.680> mud,<02:06:06.040> right?"<02:06:06.280> And<02:06:06.400> you<02:06:06.520> just<02:06:06.760> trudge<02:06:07.200> through<02:06:07.520> it<02:06:07.680> and<02:06:07.760> you're<02:06:07.880> filthy<02:06:08.280> by<02:06:08.400> the<02:06:08.520> time<02:06:08.760> you<02:06:08.840> get<02:06:09.000> out<02:06:09.160> of<02:06:09.200> here,<02:06:09.840> but<02:06:10.000> you've<02:06:10.160> made<02:06:10.360> it<02:06:10.520> out.

02:06:11.320 --> 02:06:13.840
Yeah.<02:06:11.640> And<02:06:11.880> you<02:06:11.960> go<02:06:12.040> to<02:06:12.120> the<02:06:12.200> dry<02:06:12.440> cleaners.<02:06:13.240> Exactly.

02:06:13.840 --> 02:06:16.680
You<02:06:13.920> don't<02:06:14.080> worry<02:06:14.240> about<02:06:14.520> it.<02:06:15.560> Yeah.

02:06:16.680 --> 02:06:21.880
Um<02:06:17.880> Okay.<02:06:19.640> So,<02:06:20.640> two<02:06:20.760> more<02:06:20.960> questions.

02:06:21.880 --> 02:06:28.400
One<02:06:22.120> is<02:06:22.680> um<02:06:23.360> and<02:06:23.480> you've<02:06:23.600> kind<02:06:23.840> of<02:06:24.160> given<02:06:24.480> some<02:06:24.800> suggestions<02:06:25.480> along<02:06:25.800> these<02:06:26.040> lines,<02:06:26.320> but<02:06:26.480> maybe<02:06:26.680> there's<02:06:26.840> something<02:06:27.160> more<02:06:27.360> you<02:06:27.440> have<02:06:27.600> to<02:06:27.720> say.

02:06:28.400 --> 02:06:31.360
Um<02:06:28.520> personally,<02:06:28.960> I've<02:06:29.120> had<02:06:29.280> a<02:06:29.320> meditation<02:06:29.880> practice<02:06:30.320> for<02:06:30.400> the<02:06:30.480> last<02:06:30.680> 58<02:06:31.120> years.

02:06:31.360 --> 02:06:38.480
It's<02:06:31.520> been<02:06:31.680> really<02:06:31.920> helpful<02:06:32.240> for<02:06:32.440> me.<02:06:33.000> Uh<02:06:33.200> but<02:06:33.480> I<02:06:33.560> realize<02:06:34.000> that<02:06:34.440> that<02:06:34.720> particular<02:06:35.200> thing<02:06:35.480> is<02:06:35.640> not<02:06:35.880> universal,<02:06:36.680> different<02:06:37.000> strokes<02:06:37.360> for<02:06:37.480> different<02:06:37.800> folks.

02:06:38.480 --> 02:06:42.920
So,<02:06:38.920> you<02:06:39.040> know,<02:06:39.200> what<02:06:39.400> do<02:06:39.520> you<02:06:39.880> recommend<02:06:40.440> when<02:06:40.600> people<02:06:40.840> say,<02:06:40.960> "Well,<02:06:41.200> what<02:06:41.360> could<02:06:41.520> I<02:06:41.560> do<02:06:41.760> on<02:06:41.880> a<02:06:41.920> daily<02:06:42.280> basis?

02:06:42.920 --> 02:06:47.960
And<02:06:43.120> how<02:06:43.320> long<02:06:43.560> should<02:06:43.800> I<02:06:43.880> do<02:06:44.080> it<02:06:44.240> for?"<02:06:44.680> And<02:06:45.080> that<02:06:45.280> kind<02:06:45.480> of<02:06:45.560> thing<02:06:45.800> to<02:06:46.040> kind<02:06:46.280> of<02:06:46.400> move<02:06:46.600> me<02:06:46.720> along?

02:06:47.960 --> 02:06:52.160
Yeah,<02:06:48.480> my<02:06:48.720> my<02:06:48.920> big<02:06:49.120> thing<02:06:49.360> is<02:06:49.480> the<02:06:49.560> recognition<02:06:50.240> of<02:06:50.400> beauty,<02:06:50.960> natural<02:06:51.400> beauty.

02:06:52.160 --> 02:06:56.160
I<02:06:52.200> mean,<02:06:52.360> beauty<02:06:52.640> can<02:06:52.760> be<02:06:52.880> found<02:06:53.160> in<02:06:53.280> anything.<02:06:53.600> You<02:06:53.720> can<02:06:53.880> find<02:06:54.200> it<02:06:54.320> in<02:06:54.440> a<02:06:54.480> fork<02:06:54.960> if<02:06:55.080> you<02:06:55.200> look<02:06:55.400> hard<02:06:55.560> enough.

02:06:56.160 --> 02:06:59.280
But,<02:06:56.800> uh<02:06:57.600> you<02:06:57.720> know,<02:06:57.880> it's<02:06:58.240> it's<02:06:58.480> natural<02:06:58.880> beauty.

02:06:59.280 --> 02:07:08.200
Take<02:06:59.480> a<02:06:59.560> walk<02:06:59.800> in<02:06:59.880> a<02:06:59.960> park,<02:07:00.400> go<02:07:00.560> visit<02:07:00.880> a<02:07:00.920> tree,<02:07:01.640> find<02:07:01.920> a<02:07:02.000> flower,<02:07:02.680> look<02:07:02.920> at<02:07:02.960> the<02:07:03.080> grass,<02:07:03.920> and<02:07:04.440> recognize<02:07:05.040> it's<02:07:05.440> it's<02:07:05.640> very<02:07:05.880> much<02:07:06.080> alive,<02:07:06.440> it's<02:07:06.560> very<02:07:06.800> conscious.

02:07:08.200 --> 02:07:11.360
And<02:07:08.320> just<02:07:08.520> accept<02:07:08.920> it<02:07:09.040> into<02:07:09.280> yourself.<02:07:09.760> For<02:07:09.920> me,<02:07:10.080> it's<02:07:10.280> a<02:07:10.360> beautiful<02:07:10.760> sunset.

02:07:11.360 --> 02:07:19.520
I'm<02:07:11.560> a<02:07:11.720> sucker<02:07:12.160> for<02:07:12.400> beautiful<02:07:12.840> sunset.<02:07:13.520> If<02:07:13.840> I<02:07:13.920> see<02:07:14.160> it,<02:07:14.440> I<02:07:14.520> feel<02:07:14.760> that<02:07:14.920> connection<02:07:15.480> to<02:07:15.600> divinity<02:07:16.200> in<02:07:16.320> that<02:07:16.520> moment<02:07:17.000> because<02:07:17.360> I'm<02:07:17.480> no<02:07:17.680> longer<02:07:18.080> me<02:07:18.720> in<02:07:18.880> the<02:07:18.960> moment.

02:07:19.520 --> 02:07:25.800
I<02:07:19.600> am<02:07:19.720> no<02:07:19.840> longer<02:07:20.080> my<02:07:20.240> problems<02:07:20.800> or<02:07:20.880> thoughts<02:07:21.280> or<02:07:21.400> whatever<02:07:22.800> that<02:07:23.080> might<02:07:23.240> have<02:07:23.560> led<02:07:23.840> up<02:07:24.080> to<02:07:24.200> me<02:07:24.520> seeing<02:07:24.880> that<02:07:25.080> sunset.

02:07:25.800 --> 02:07:30.440
But,<02:07:26.680> find<02:07:27.000> what<02:07:27.120> works<02:07:27.400> for<02:07:27.560> you,<02:07:28.040> and<02:07:28.280> in<02:07:28.400> that<02:07:28.640> moment<02:07:29.000> bottle<02:07:29.360> it<02:07:29.480> up.

02:07:30.440 --> 02:07:39.000
Bottle<02:07:30.720> up<02:07:30.880> the<02:07:31.000> feeling.<02:07:31.360> There<02:07:31.520> are<02:07:31.640> many<02:07:32.040> times<02:07:32.480> where<02:07:32.680> I<02:07:32.760> will<02:07:33.240> get<02:07:33.480> off<02:07:33.680> a<02:07:33.800> difficult<02:07:34.440> call<02:07:34.760> with<02:07:34.920> somebody<02:07:36.240> and<02:07:36.400> just<02:07:36.640> shut<02:07:36.840> my<02:07:37.120> eyes,<02:07:37.480> and<02:07:37.600> I'm<02:07:37.760> back<02:07:38.200> somewhere

02:07:39.000 --> 02:07:42.880
where<02:07:39.240> I'm<02:07:39.480> revisiting<02:07:40.160> the<02:07:40.280> last<02:07:40.600> sunset<02:07:41.040> I<02:07:41.080> experienced.

02:07:42.880 --> 02:07:45.280
And<02:07:43.080> in<02:07:43.240> that<02:07:43.440> moment,<02:07:43.880> I'm<02:07:44.040> just<02:07:44.320> breathing<02:07:44.880> it.

02:07:45.280 --> 02:07:47.320
Just<02:07:45.680> a<02:07:45.800> full<02:07:46.240> conscious<02:07:46.880> breath.

02:07:47.320 --> 02:07:51.520
I'm<02:07:47.520> breathing<02:07:48.120> the<02:07:48.240> space.<02:07:48.720> I'm<02:07:48.880> breathing<02:07:49.360> the<02:07:49.480> feeling,<02:07:49.920> the<02:07:50.080> warmth<02:07:50.520> of<02:07:50.680> it.

02:07:51.520 --> 02:07:53.760
I'm<02:07:51.680> breathing<02:07:52.120> the<02:07:52.240> sight.<02:07:52.560> I'm<02:07:52.720> feeling<02:07:53.120> the<02:07:53.240> breeze.

02:07:53.760 --> 02:07:56.760
I<02:07:53.840> am<02:07:54.000> just<02:07:54.600> there.<02:07:54.880> I'm<02:07:54.960> not<02:07:55.160> even<02:07:55.400> here.

02:07:56.760 --> 02:08:02.080
And<02:07:56.920> it's<02:07:57.320> it's<02:07:57.600> important<02:07:58.240> to<02:07:58.360> understand<02:07:58.880> that<02:07:59.000> your<02:07:59.160> connection<02:08:00.280> goes<02:08:00.640> beyond<02:08:01.080> physical.

02:08:02.080 --> 02:08:06.800
You<02:08:02.280> may<02:08:02.680> you<02:08:02.840> may<02:08:03.040> be<02:08:03.200> stuck<02:08:03.520> in<02:08:03.600> a<02:08:03.680> wheelchair<02:08:04.960> for<02:08:05.000> the<02:08:05.120> rest<02:08:05.400> of<02:08:05.480> your<02:08:05.600> life.

02:08:06.800 --> 02:08:12.640
But,<02:08:06.960> you<02:08:07.080> can<02:08:07.240> think<02:08:07.520> back<02:08:08.040> on<02:08:08.200> a<02:08:08.240> time<02:08:08.680> that<02:08:08.920> you<02:08:09.440> witnessed<02:08:10.120> something<02:08:10.520> like<02:08:10.760> that<02:08:11.080> and<02:08:11.280> be<02:08:11.480> there<02:08:11.720> again.

02:08:12.640 --> 02:08:17.800
Mhm.<02:08:13.840> So,<02:08:14.280> for<02:08:14.480> me,<02:08:14.680> meditation<02:08:15.360> is<02:08:15.520> just<02:08:15.800> the<02:08:15.920> recognition<02:08:16.680> of<02:08:16.840> beauty.

02:08:17.800 --> 02:08:23.480
And<02:08:17.960> it<02:08:18.120> leads<02:08:18.400> into<02:08:18.640> something<02:08:19.000> greater<02:08:19.520> when<02:08:20.080> that<02:08:20.320> intention<02:08:20.920> and<02:08:21.160> attention<02:08:21.800> is<02:08:21.960> focused.

02:08:23.480 --> 02:08:26.000
You<02:08:23.520> kind<02:08:23.760> of<02:08:23.840> answered<02:08:24.200> this<02:08:24.440> when<02:08:24.640> you<02:08:24.840> with<02:08:25.040> the<02:08:25.120> wheelchair<02:08:25.520> example.

02:08:26.000 --> 02:08:34.520
But,<02:08:26.160> let's<02:08:26.320> say<02:08:26.560> for<02:08:26.720> some<02:08:27.040> weird<02:08:27.480> reason<02:08:27.920> you<02:08:28.080> were<02:08:29.040> arrested<02:08:29.480> and<02:08:29.680> thrown<02:08:30.040> in<02:08:30.200> prison<02:08:30.680> for<02:08:31.120> and<02:08:31.320> and<02:08:31.480> put<02:08:31.640> in<02:08:31.760> solitary<02:08:32.360> confinement<02:08:33.320> with<02:08:33.640> no<02:08:34.280> no

02:08:34.520 --> 02:08:37.160
stimulation<02:08:35.120> or<02:08:35.280> entertainment<02:08:36.000> or<02:08:36.200> anything<02:08:36.600> else.

02:08:37.160 --> 02:08:42.080
How<02:08:37.240> do<02:08:37.320> you<02:08:37.400> think<02:08:37.600> you<02:08:37.680> would<02:08:37.800> pass<02:08:38.080> your<02:08:38.200> time?<02:08:39.080> Would<02:08:39.280> you<02:08:39.360> be<02:08:39.520> sitting<02:08:39.880> visualizing<02:08:40.520> sunsets<02:08:41.200> or<02:08:41.400> what<02:08:41.600> would<02:08:41.760> you<02:08:41.840> do?

02:08:42.080 --> 02:08:46.880
Yeah,<02:08:42.720> I<02:08:42.840> think<02:08:43.120> I<02:08:43.240> would.<02:08:43.560> I<02:08:43.640> think<02:08:43.960> I<02:08:44.040> would<02:08:44.480> probably<02:08:45.120> levitate<02:08:45.720> myself<02:08:46.200> out<02:08:46.360> of<02:08:46.440> there.

02:08:46.880 --> 02:08:51.680
I<02:08:47.080> would<02:08:47.840> I<02:08:48.000> would<02:08:48.200> just<02:08:48.480> be<02:08:48.760> in<02:08:49.000> so<02:08:49.360> much<02:08:49.960> uh<02:08:50.160> so<02:08:50.480> deep<02:08:50.880> in<02:08:51.000> meditation.

02:08:51.680 --> 02:09:00.400
I'm<02:08:51.760> not<02:08:53.019> [sighs]<02:08:53.440> I<02:08:53.640> I<02:08:53.720> don't<02:08:53.960> know<02:08:54.120> much<02:08:54.400> about<02:08:54.720> the<02:08:54.800> Hindu<02:08:55.200> gurus<02:08:55.840> or<02:08:56.240> the<02:08:56.400> Buddhists,<02:08:57.120> you<02:08:57.240> know,<02:08:57.360> the<02:08:57.480> guys<02:08:57.840> who<02:08:58.280> who<02:08:58.440> meditate<02:08:59.080> and<02:08:59.200> then<02:08:59.600> they<02:08:59.800> leave.

02:09:00.400 --> 02:09:04.400
They<02:09:00.520> don't<02:09:00.760> come<02:09:00.920> back,<02:09:01.320> right?<02:09:01.520> They<02:09:01.640> find<02:09:01.840> their<02:09:01.960> bodies<02:09:02.440> in<02:09:02.600> a<02:09:02.640> meditative<02:09:03.200> state.

02:09:04.400 --> 02:09:12.880
But<02:09:04.880> um<02:09:05.080> I<02:09:05.160> do<02:09:05.360> know<02:09:05.480> it's<02:09:05.680> possible.<02:09:06.280> I<02:09:06.360> think<02:09:06.640> I<02:09:06.720> would<02:09:06.880> probably<02:09:08.520> attempt<02:09:08.960> something<02:09:09.360> along<02:09:09.640> those<02:09:09.880> lines<02:09:10.400> where<02:09:11.200> you<02:09:11.440> just<02:09:12.000> I<02:09:12.120> come<02:09:12.360> back<02:09:12.600> knowing

02:09:12.880 --> 02:09:15.680
I'm<02:09:13.160> not<02:09:13.320> attached<02:09:13.760> to<02:09:13.840> the<02:09:13.920> body.<02:09:14.200> I'm<02:09:14.320> not<02:09:14.640> the<02:09:14.760> body.

02:09:15.680 --> 02:09:21.760
Mhm.<02:09:16.080> Uh<02:09:16.920> the<02:09:17.040> greatest<02:09:17.400> thing<02:09:17.520> about<02:09:17.720> the<02:09:17.840> experience<02:09:18.480> I<02:09:18.560> think<02:09:18.840> is<02:09:19.160> just<02:09:19.480> realizing<02:09:20.160> that<02:09:20.600> you're<02:09:20.760> not<02:09:21.120> this.

02:09:21.760 --> 02:09:25.120
You're<02:09:21.880> not<02:09:22.080> the<02:09:22.160> meat<02:09:22.440> suit.<02:09:23.560> Um<02:09:23.840> you're<02:09:24.000> something<02:09:24.280> greater.

02:09:25.120 --> 02:09:32.480
Yeah.<02:09:26.040> Um<02:09:26.520> do<02:09:26.600> you<02:09:26.680> think<02:09:26.880> this<02:09:27.000> will<02:09:27.120> be<02:09:27.240> your<02:09:27.360> last<02:09:27.640> lifetime<02:09:28.400> or<02:09:28.560> do<02:09:28.640> you<02:09:28.720> think<02:09:29.040> that<02:09:29.240> you'll<02:09:29.800> be<02:09:29.960> like<02:09:30.160> a<02:09:30.200> bodhisattva<02:09:31.000> and<02:09:31.160> come<02:09:31.320> back<02:09:31.560> to<02:09:31.680> help<02:09:31.920> people?

02:09:32.480 --> 02:09:39.880
And<02:09:33.000> if<02:09:33.120> you<02:09:33.200> don't<02:09:33.400> come<02:09:33.560> back<02:09:33.760> as<02:09:33.920> a<02:09:33.960> human,<02:09:34.240> do<02:09:34.360> you<02:09:34.440> think<02:09:34.720> you<02:09:35.160> and<02:09:35.400> others<02:09:35.760> will<02:09:35.960> continue<02:09:36.360> to<02:09:36.480> exist<02:09:36.880> on<02:09:37.000> higher<02:09:37.280> planes<02:09:37.920> serving<02:09:38.320> some<02:09:38.560> function?

02:09:39.880 --> 02:09:43.680
The<02:09:40.000> interesting<02:09:40.640> thing<02:09:41.000> is<02:09:41.240> I<02:09:41.360> was<02:09:41.560> shown<02:09:41.880> that<02:09:42.000> I've<02:09:42.160> done<02:09:42.360> this<02:09:42.560> before.

02:09:43.680 --> 02:09:47.400
I<02:09:43.800> have<02:09:43.960> chosen<02:09:44.320> to<02:09:44.440> come<02:09:44.640> back<02:09:45.000> for<02:09:45.600> what<02:09:45.840> I'm<02:09:45.960> doing<02:09:46.280> now<02:09:46.560> before.

02:09:47.400 --> 02:09:53.160
Interesting.<02:09:47.880> Um<02:09:49.200> which<02:09:49.520> is<02:09:49.640> funny<02:09:49.960> to<02:09:50.080> me<02:09:50.280> because<02:09:50.640> it's<02:09:50.800> like,<02:09:51.080> well,<02:09:51.240> what<02:09:51.400> did<02:09:51.600> I<02:09:51.680> do<02:09:51.880> in<02:09:51.960> the<02:09:52.080> first<02:09:52.440> half<02:09:52.640> of<02:09:52.760> my<02:09:52.920> life?

02:09:53.160 --> 02:09:58.960
Did<02:09:53.320> I<02:09:53.360> just<02:09:53.560> take<02:09:53.720> a<02:09:53.760> vacation<02:09:54.320> from<02:09:54.560> it<02:09:54.720> and<02:09:54.840> just<02:09:55.200> party<02:09:55.680> or<02:09:56.000> you<02:09:56.120> know,<02:09:56.360> it<02:09:56.800> it's<02:09:57.280> it's<02:09:57.560> funny.

02:09:58.960 --> 02:10:03.000
But<02:09:59.280> I<02:09:59.400> also<02:09:59.720> know<02:10:00.680> the<02:10:00.880> type<02:10:01.160> of<02:10:01.240> sense<02:10:01.520> of<02:10:01.600> humor<02:10:01.960> it<02:10:02.080> has.

02:10:03.000 --> 02:10:07.440
I<02:10:03.120> was<02:10:03.320> told<02:10:03.680> that<02:10:03.840> this<02:10:04.960> it<02:10:05.080> could<02:10:05.280> be<02:10:05.440> my<02:10:05.600> last<02:10:05.960> existence.

02:10:07.440 --> 02:10:11.480
But<02:10:07.600> I'm<02:10:07.760> in<02:10:07.880> that<02:10:08.080> same<02:10:08.400> situation<02:10:09.240> where<02:10:09.560> I<02:10:09.600> understand<02:10:10.080> my<02:10:10.200> connection<02:10:10.680> to<02:10:10.840> all<02:10:11.040> others.

02:10:11.480 --> 02:10:16.560
So<02:10:12.480> so<02:10:12.640> would<02:10:12.800> I<02:10:12.880> say<02:10:13.120> I'm<02:10:13.280> free<02:10:14.040> or<02:10:14.320> would<02:10:14.520> I<02:10:14.560> say,<02:10:14.800> well,<02:10:14.920> of<02:10:15.040> course<02:10:15.320> I'll<02:10:15.440> go<02:10:15.560> back<02:10:15.840> and<02:10:15.960> help.

02:10:16.560 --> 02:10:25.720
So<02:10:16.760> I<02:10:16.880> may<02:10:17.040> be<02:10:17.200> stuck<02:10:17.480> in<02:10:17.600> a<02:10:17.680> permanent<02:10:18.200> loop<02:10:18.440> of<02:10:18.600> coming<02:10:18.880> back<02:10:19.160> here<02:10:19.280> and<02:10:19.400> helping<02:10:19.760> every<02:10:20.000> hundred<02:10:20.320> lifetimes<02:10:20.880> or<02:10:20.960> whatever<02:10:21.280> it's<02:10:21.440> been,<02:10:22.720> or<02:10:23.400> I<02:10:23.560> finally<02:10:25.120> do

02:10:25.720 --> 02:10:31.120
something,<02:10:26.840> say<02:10:27.160> something,<02:10:27.720> get<02:10:27.880> enough<02:10:28.200> people<02:10:28.640> to<02:10:28.880> find<02:10:29.160> their<02:10:29.320> hearts<02:10:29.760> that<02:10:29.920> I<02:10:30.000> don't<02:10:30.240> have<02:10:30.520> to,<02:10:30.880> right?

02:10:31.120 --> 02:10:34.760
I<02:10:31.160> don't<02:10:31.360> have<02:10:31.520> to<02:10:31.640> come<02:10:31.800> back.<02:10:32.800> So,<02:10:33.440> I<02:10:33.520> know<02:10:33.760> it's<02:10:33.920> a<02:10:33.960> divine<02:10:34.440> joke.

02:10:34.760 --> 02:10:38.160
It's<02:10:34.880> a<02:10:34.920> cosmic<02:10:35.480> joke<02:10:35.840> that,<02:10:36.080> "Oh,<02:10:36.200> by<02:10:36.360> the<02:10:36.480> way,<02:10:36.640> you've<02:10:36.800> done<02:10:37.000> this<02:10:37.120> many<02:10:37.360> times.

02:10:38.160 --> 02:10:42.200
You've<02:10:38.320> been<02:10:38.480> here<02:10:38.680> doing<02:10:38.920> this<02:10:39.120> many<02:10:39.320> times.<02:10:40.400> And<02:10:40.840> this<02:10:41.040> could<02:10:41.200> be<02:10:41.320> your<02:10:41.480> last<02:10:41.840> time."

02:10:42.200 --> 02:10:44.600
I'm<02:10:42.280> like,<02:10:42.440> "Well,<02:10:42.600> what<02:10:42.960> what<02:10:43.160> happened<02:10:43.480> all<02:10:43.600> the<02:10:43.760> other<02:10:43.960> times?

02:10:44.600 --> 02:10:48.360
Like,<02:10:44.840> you<02:10:44.920> probably<02:10:45.280> said<02:10:45.480> the<02:10:45.560> same<02:10:45.920> thing.<02:10:46.600> It<02:10:46.760> sounds<02:10:46.960> like<02:10:47.120> a<02:10:47.200> tough<02:10:47.520> sell,<02:10:47.960> you<02:10:48.080> know?

02:10:48.360 --> 02:10:51.680
It's<02:10:48.600> like,<02:10:49.400> did<02:10:49.760> you<02:10:49.840> say<02:10:50.000> the<02:10:50.120> same<02:10:50.360> thing<02:10:50.560> last<02:10:50.800> time?"

02:10:51.680 --> 02:10:54.000
So,<02:10:52.080> um<02:10:53.400> I<02:10:53.520> don't<02:10:53.760> know.

02:10:54.000 --> 02:10:57.560
I<02:10:54.080> think<02:10:54.400> in<02:10:54.560> my<02:10:54.720> current<02:10:55.040> state,<02:10:55.480> people<02:10:55.920> ask<02:10:56.320> would<02:10:56.480> I<02:10:56.560> return<02:10:56.960> again?

02:10:57.560 --> 02:11:05.600
And<02:10:57.800> I<02:10:58.280> I<02:10:58.400> would<02:10:58.560> say<02:10:58.760> yes.<02:10:59.480> I<02:10:59.840> just<02:11:00.080> based<02:11:00.400> off<02:11:00.560> the<02:11:00.640> number<02:11:00.920> of<02:11:01.040> people<02:11:01.480> that<02:11:01.600> have<02:11:01.720> sent<02:11:01.960> me<02:11:02.080> beautiful<02:11:02.520> emails<02:11:03.000> about<02:11:03.240> how<02:11:03.360> their<02:11:03.520> lives<02:11:03.800> have<02:11:03.960> changed,<02:11:04.560> I<02:11:04.680> would<02:11:05.520> I

02:11:05.600 --> 02:11:09.080
would<02:11:05.720> do<02:11:05.840> the<02:11:05.920> same<02:11:06.120> thing.<02:11:06.320> I'd<02:11:06.440> give<02:11:06.600> it<02:11:06.720> all<02:11:06.840> up<02:11:07.000> again.<02:11:07.640> I<02:11:07.680> know,<02:11:07.840> isn't<02:11:08.040> that<02:11:08.200> nice<02:11:08.480> when<02:11:08.640> you<02:11:08.720> get<02:11:08.880> that?

02:11:09.080 --> 02:11:15.240
I<02:11:09.120> got<02:11:09.360> that<02:11:09.520> just<02:11:09.680> today.<02:11:09.960> Someone<02:11:10.280> said<02:11:10.480> you<02:11:11.240> saved<02:11:11.640> my<02:11:11.760> life,<02:11:12.160> you<02:11:12.240> know,<02:11:12.400> with<02:11:12.560> your<02:11:13.280> BatGap<02:11:13.840> and<02:11:13.960> I<02:11:14.000> thought,<02:11:14.280> "Great.

02:11:15.240 --> 02:11:22.440
Wonderful."<02:11:16.240> Yeah.<02:11:16.720> Wonderful.<02:11:17.160> I<02:11:17.240> know,<02:11:17.400> I<02:11:17.440> went<02:11:17.640> through<02:11:17.800> years<02:11:18.200> where<02:11:18.520> I<02:11:18.640> think<02:11:18.880> I<02:11:18.960> just<02:11:19.160> wasn't<02:11:19.440> that<02:11:19.600> happy<02:11:20.080> and<02:11:20.320> my<02:11:20.680> I<02:11:20.760> had<02:11:20.920> this<02:11:21.120> ardent<02:11:21.440> desire<02:11:21.920> to<02:11:22.040> sort<02:11:22.240> of

02:11:22.440 --> 02:11:25.400
be<02:11:22.640> done<02:11:22.920> with<02:11:23.200> this<02:11:23.440> life,<02:11:23.720> to<02:11:23.840> check<02:11:24.160> out,<02:11:24.360> never<02:11:24.600> come<02:11:24.800> back.

02:11:25.400 --> 02:11:27.720
And<02:11:25.520> now<02:11:25.680> my<02:11:25.840> attitude<02:11:26.280> is,<02:11:26.840> "Whatever,<02:11:27.440> you<02:11:27.520> know?

02:11:27.720 --> 02:11:30.480
It's<02:11:27.840> like<02:11:28.480> however<02:11:29.280> I<02:11:29.360> can<02:11:29.520> be<02:11:29.640> most<02:11:29.920> useful.

02:11:30.480 --> 02:11:32.880
Never<02:11:30.720> come<02:11:30.920> back,<02:11:31.240> come<02:11:31.360> back<02:11:31.560> a<02:11:31.600> thousand<02:11:32.040> times,<02:11:32.360> I<02:11:32.440> don't<02:11:32.600> care.

02:11:32.880 --> 02:11:35.461
This<02:11:33.080> is<02:11:33.720> I'm<02:11:33.840> not<02:11:34.000> worried<02:11:34.120> about<02:11:34.240> the<02:11:34.320> show.<02:11:35.200> You're<02:11:35.440> free.

02:11:35.461 --> 02:11:38.280
[laughter]<02:11:36.000> Yeah.<02:11:36.720> It's<02:11:36.800> the<02:11:36.920> best<02:11:37.320> way<02:11:37.440> to<02:11:37.560> be.

02:11:38.280 --> 02:11:42.200
Yeah.<02:11:39.390> [gasps]<02:11:39.560> Well,<02:11:39.760> Jonathan,<02:11:40.280> so<02:11:40.440> this<02:11:40.640> has<02:11:40.680> been<02:11:40.840> such<02:11:41.040> a<02:11:41.080> delightful<02:11:41.560> conversation.

02:11:42.200 --> 02:11:50.920
We<02:11:42.651> could<02:11:43.102> go<02:11:43.553> for<02:11:44.004> another<02:11:44.456> 2<02:11:44.907> hours.<02:11:45.358> I<02:11:45.809> know<02:11:46.260> you<02:11:46.711> were<02:11:47.162> you're<02:11:47.613> famous<02:11:48.064> for<02:11:48.516> marathon<02:11:48.967> [laughter]<02:11:49.418> 5-hour<02:11:49.869> Zoom<02:11:50.320> calls.

02:11:50.920 --> 02:11:59.040
Um<02:11:51.240> yeah.<02:11:51.680> So,<02:11:52.160> but<02:11:52.320> I<02:11:52.400> won't<02:11:52.640> hold<02:11:52.880> you<02:11:52.960> to<02:11:53.080> that<02:11:53.360> and<02:11:53.480> you<02:11:53.600> I<02:11:53.720> think<02:11:53.960> you<02:11:54.080> haven't<02:11:54.360> eaten<02:11:54.680> yet,<02:11:55.320> you<02:11:55.480> said,<02:11:55.840> so<02:11:56.400> and<02:11:56.920> I<02:11:57.040> got<02:11:57.200> to<02:11:57.240> let<02:11:57.400> you<02:11:57.480> go,<02:11:57.760> but<02:11:58.040> I<02:11:58.160> really<02:11:58.440> appreciate

02:11:59.040 --> 02:12:03.200
having<02:12:00.240> had<02:12:00.680> this<02:12:00.840> opportunity<02:12:01.440> to<02:12:01.480> spend<02:12:01.760> this<02:12:01.880> time<02:12:02.120> with<02:12:02.320> you.

02:12:03.200 --> 02:12:05.800
Thank<02:12:03.440> you,<02:12:03.600> Rick.<02:12:03.880> It's<02:12:04.120> been<02:12:04.240> a<02:12:04.280> pleasure.<02:12:04.920> Yeah.

02:12:05.800 --> 02:12:13.680
So,<02:12:06.840> uh<02:12:07.400> I'll<02:12:07.560> have<02:12:07.720> a<02:12:07.800> page<02:12:08.280> on<02:12:08.440> BatGap<02:12:09.040> which<02:12:09.320> will<02:12:09.640> have<02:12:09.800> a<02:12:09.840> link<02:12:10.080> to<02:12:10.200> your<02:12:10.320> website,<02:12:11.200> um<02:12:11.760> jonathanashford.com.

02:12:13.680 --> 02:12:22.160
And<02:12:13.880> there<02:12:14.480> people<02:12:14.840> can<02:12:15.200> if<02:12:15.320> they<02:12:15.480> go<02:12:15.680> to<02:12:15.760> your<02:12:15.880> website,<02:12:16.680> they<02:12:17.000> can<02:12:17.200> sign<02:12:17.520> up<02:12:17.720> for<02:12:18.160> a<02:12:18.200> little<02:12:18.520> email<02:12:18.960> thing<02:12:19.320> that'll<02:12:19.880> notify<02:12:20.400> them<02:12:20.680> of<02:12:20.920> Zoom<02:12:21.200> calls<02:12:21.760> and

02:12:22.160 --> 02:12:25.160
in-person<02:12:22.800> events<02:12:23.280> that<02:12:23.400> you<02:12:23.480> might<02:12:23.680> be<02:12:23.760> doing<02:12:24.040> here<02:12:24.240> and<02:12:24.360> there.

02:12:25.160 --> 02:12:27.880
Um<02:12:25.840> and<02:12:26.280> that<02:12:26.520> kind<02:12:26.720> of<02:12:26.800> thing.

02:12:27.880 --> 02:12:31.640
And<02:12:28.240> you're<02:12:28.480> you're<02:12:28.680> working<02:12:29.000> on<02:12:29.120> a<02:12:29.160> book.<02:12:29.680> Are<02:12:29.760> you<02:12:29.920> looking<02:12:30.200> for<02:12:30.320> a<02:12:30.400> publisher?

02:12:31.640 --> 02:12:36.880
Um<02:12:32.080> hasn't<02:12:32.400> come<02:12:32.560> out<02:12:32.720> yet,<02:12:33.360> but<02:12:34.240> I'm<02:12:34.640> I'm<02:12:34.720> sure<02:12:34.920> if<02:12:35.040> they<02:12:35.600> You<02:12:35.760> stopped<02:12:36.040> looking<02:12:36.280> for<02:12:36.400> a<02:12:36.440> publisher?

02:12:36.880 --> 02:12:43.080
I<02:12:37.080> I<02:12:37.480> You<02:12:37.600> know<02:12:37.760> what?<02:12:38.000> I<02:12:38.080> went<02:12:38.320> through<02:12:38.520> one<02:12:38.760> round<02:12:39.000> of<02:12:39.120> editing<02:12:40.160> and<02:12:40.680> I<02:12:40.760> was<02:12:40.960> like,<02:12:41.200> I'm<02:12:41.440> in<02:12:41.560> no<02:12:41.800> rush<02:12:42.120> to<02:12:42.280> sell<02:12:42.520> a<02:12:42.560> book.

02:12:43.080 --> 02:12:47.640
I<02:12:43.160> just<02:12:43.760> To<02:12:43.880> me,<02:12:44.160> the<02:12:44.360> book<02:12:44.680> is<02:12:45.840> it'll<02:12:46.080> come<02:12:46.280> out<02:12:46.400> when<02:12:46.520> it's<02:12:46.600> supposed<02:12:46.960> to<02:12:47.000> come<02:12:47.240> out.

02:12:47.640 --> 02:12:49.960
I<02:12:48.200> haven't<02:12:48.560> sought<02:12:48.880> publishers<02:12:49.480> out.

02:12:49.960 --> 02:12:56.040
People<02:12:50.360> keep<02:12:50.600> sending<02:12:50.960> me<02:12:51.160> like,<02:12:51.440> here,<02:12:51.720> this<02:12:51.920> will<02:12:52.000> pub-<02:12:52.240> they'll<02:12:52.400> publish<02:12:52.720> the<02:12:52.800> pub-<02:12:53.000> I'm<02:12:53.120> like,<02:12:53.720> I'm<02:12:53.840> not<02:12:54.200> concerned<02:12:54.680> with<02:12:54.800> that<02:12:54.960> yet.

02:12:56.040 --> 02:13:02.720
I<02:12:56.160> think<02:12:56.400> maybe<02:12:56.680> someday<02:12:57.560> I'll<02:12:57.760> spend<02:12:58.040> a<02:12:58.080> little<02:12:58.280> bit<02:12:58.440> more<02:12:58.600> time<02:12:58.920> on<02:12:59.040> it,<02:12:59.200> but<02:12:59.680> right<02:12:59.880> now<02:13:00.200> I'm<02:13:00.360> just<02:13:00.720> helping<02:13:01.080> as<02:13:01.240> many<02:13:01.440> people<02:13:01.680> as<02:13:01.840> I<02:13:01.880> can.

02:13:02.720 --> 02:13:07.160
Yeah,<02:13:02.880> I've<02:13:02.960> had<02:13:03.120> a<02:13:03.200> couple<02:13:03.480> people<02:13:03.840> say<02:13:04.320> couple<02:13:04.640> publishers<02:13:05.160> say,<02:13:05.280> "If<02:13:05.400> you<02:13:05.720> If<02:13:05.840> you<02:13:05.960> write<02:13:06.160> a<02:13:06.200> book,<02:13:06.480> we'll<02:13:06.600> publish<02:13:07.000> it."

02:13:07.160 --> 02:13:09.680
But<02:13:07.280> it's<02:13:07.400> like,<02:13:07.720> when<02:13:07.880> am<02:13:07.960> I<02:13:08.000> going<02:13:08.120> to<02:13:08.200> write<02:13:08.360> a<02:13:08.400> book?<02:13:08.640> I<02:13:08.680> don't<02:13:08.840> have<02:13:09.000> time<02:13:09.200> to<02:13:09.280> write<02:13:09.400> a<02:13:09.440> book.

02:13:09.680 --> 02:13:12.160
Yes.<02:13:09.781> [laughter]<02:13:10.880> Too<02:13:11.000> much<02:13:11.240> going<02:13:11.520> on.

02:13:12.160 --> 02:13:14.520
Yeah.<02:13:12.920> I<02:13:13.120> know<02:13:13.240> the<02:13:13.360> feeling.<02:13:13.960> Yeah.

02:13:14.520 --> 02:13:20.880
Plus<02:13:14.760> these<02:13:15.040> days,<02:13:15.320> I<02:13:15.360> mean,<02:13:15.520> how<02:13:15.600> many<02:13:15.760> people<02:13:15.960> actually<02:13:16.280> buy<02:13:16.520> a<02:13:16.600> book<02:13:17.000> compared<02:13:17.360> to<02:13:17.480> the<02:13:17.600> number<02:13:17.840> of<02:13:17.920> people<02:13:18.240> who<02:13:18.360> would<02:13:18.600> see<02:13:18.840> your<02:13:19.120> YouTube<02:13:19.480> videos<02:13:20.120> and,<02:13:20.640> you<02:13:20.760> know,

02:13:20.880 --> 02:13:23.480
things<02:13:21.200> like<02:13:21.360> that.<02:13:22.280> I<02:13:22.640> I<02:13:22.720> just<02:13:23.040> don't<02:13:23.280> know.

02:13:23.480 --> 02:13:29.400
I<02:13:23.520> don't<02:13:23.720> know<02:13:24.000> enough<02:13:24.320> about<02:13:24.680> it.<02:13:24.960> You<02:13:25.040> know,<02:13:25.240> I<02:13:25.320> wrote<02:13:25.960> I<02:13:26.080> wrote<02:13:26.440> what<02:13:26.640> I<02:13:26.680> would<02:13:26.840> call<02:13:27.080> a<02:13:27.120> very<02:13:27.480> vanilla<02:13:28.120> book<02:13:28.760> on<02:13:28.960> purpose.

02:13:29.400 --> 02:13:33.400
I<02:13:29.480> left<02:13:29.760> like<02:13:30.000> 50%<02:13:30.720> of<02:13:30.800> the<02:13:30.920> stuff<02:13:31.400> out<02:13:31.680> that<02:13:31.840> I<02:13:31.920> experienced.

02:13:33.400 --> 02:13:38.160
And<02:13:33.560> I<02:13:33.640> figured,<02:13:34.120> well,<02:13:34.280> this<02:13:34.440> will<02:13:34.520> be<02:13:34.640> an<02:13:34.840> entry-level<02:13:35.600> book<02:13:35.880> for<02:13:36.040> somebody<02:13:36.480> who<02:13:36.600> just<02:13:36.840> wants<02:13:37.080> to<02:13:37.200> know<02:13:37.360> a<02:13:37.400> little<02:13:37.640> more.

02:13:38.160 --> 02:13:41.600
And<02:13:38.320> then<02:13:38.440> I<02:13:38.480> got<02:13:38.680> a<02:13:38.720> psychic<02:13:39.240> message<02:13:39.640> one<02:13:39.800> day<02:13:40.080> that<02:13:40.280> said,<02:13:40.520> "No.

02:13:41.600 --> 02:13:45.240
Add<02:13:41.800> it<02:13:41.960> all."<02:13:42.800> So,<02:13:43.040> I<02:13:43.080> went<02:13:43.280> back<02:13:43.680> and<02:13:43.760> I<02:13:43.800> started<02:13:44.200> adding<02:13:44.480> more<02:13:44.720> to<02:13:45.000> it.

02:13:45.240 --> 02:13:50.880
I<02:13:45.320> still<02:13:45.600> have<02:13:45.800> more<02:13:46.040> to<02:13:46.200> add.<02:13:47.320> But<02:13:47.440> then<02:13:47.640> it's<02:13:48.000> like,<02:13:48.360> I<02:13:48.440> feel<02:13:48.760> no<02:13:49.040> rush<02:13:49.600> to<02:13:49.760> put<02:13:50.080> something<02:13:50.560> out.

02:13:50.880 --> 02:13:53.160
Like,<02:13:51.120> I<02:13:51.160> don't<02:13:51.640> do<02:13:51.840> anything<02:13:52.200> for<02:13:52.360> a<02:13:52.400> transaction.

02:13:53.160 --> 02:13:57.120
So,<02:13:53.360> for<02:13:53.520> me,<02:13:53.840> it's<02:13:54.040> kind<02:13:54.280> of<02:13:54.400> like,<02:13:54.640> if<02:13:54.800> it<02:13:54.920> happens,<02:13:55.280> it<02:13:55.480> it'll<02:13:55.720> happen<02:13:56.040> when<02:13:56.160> it's<02:13:56.280> supposed<02:13:56.640> to.

02:13:57.120 --> 02:14:02.640
Yeah.<02:13:57.920> And<02:13:58.400> just<02:13:58.640> on<02:13:58.720> a<02:13:58.760> personal<02:13:59.120> note,<02:13:59.520> you<02:13:59.600> know,<02:13:59.800> you<02:14:00.200> you<02:14:00.520> are<02:14:01.920> very<02:14:02.200> giving.

02:14:02.640 --> 02:14:08.240
You<02:14:02.840> you<02:14:03.240> sometimes<02:14:03.720> do<02:14:03.880> like<02:14:04.120> 10<02:14:04.400> sessions<02:14:04.920> a<02:14:05.000> day<02:14:05.320> with<02:14:05.560> people<02:14:05.960> and,<02:14:06.600> you<02:14:06.640> know,<02:14:06.800> 5-hour<02:14:07.520> Zoom<02:14:07.800> calls.

02:14:08.240 --> 02:14:14.480
And<02:14:08.840> I<02:14:08.960> just<02:14:09.160> want<02:14:09.280> to<02:14:09.320> say<02:14:09.480> I<02:14:09.520> hope<02:14:09.760> you're<02:14:10.440> still<02:14:10.720> like<02:14:10.960> getting<02:14:11.200> out<02:14:11.320> and<02:14:11.440> taking<02:14:11.720> hikes<02:14:12.120> and<02:14:12.240> getting<02:14:12.480> a<02:14:12.600> little<02:14:12.800> exercise<02:14:13.560> and<02:14:13.760> you<02:14:13.840> know,<02:14:13.920> taking<02:14:14.200> care<02:14:14.320> of<02:14:14.400> your

02:14:14.480 --> 02:14:22.920
body<02:14:14.797> because<02:14:15.114> you<02:14:15.431> know,<02:14:15.748> this<02:14:16.065> is<02:14:16.382> a<02:14:16.698> marathon<02:14:17.015> not<02:14:17.332> a<02:14:17.649> sprint<02:14:17.966> and<02:14:18.283> you<02:14:18.600> know,<02:14:18.917> you<02:14:19.234> [clears<02:14:19.551> throat]<02:14:19.868> you'll<02:14:20.185> you<02:14:20.502> may<02:14:20.818> be<02:14:21.135> burned<02:14:21.452> out<02:14:21.769> or<02:14:22.086> get<02:14:22.403> unhealthy<02:14:22.720> if

02:14:22.920 --> 02:14:27.720
you<02:14:23.080> just<02:14:23.400> don't<02:14:23.800> take<02:14:24.000> care<02:14:24.160> of<02:14:24.240> the<02:14:24.320> vessel.<02:14:25.440> Yeah,<02:14:25.960> I<02:14:26.120> am<02:14:26.360> not<02:14:26.720> doing<02:14:27.000> those<02:14:27.240> things.

02:14:27.720 --> 02:14:32.840
I<02:14:29.040> the<02:14:29.280> only<02:14:30.120> really<02:14:30.480> the<02:14:30.680> only<02:14:31.000> thing<02:14:31.280> I<02:14:31.400> do<02:14:31.880> is<02:14:32.240> this.

02:14:32.840 --> 02:14:35.920
I<02:14:32.960> do<02:14:33.160> it<02:14:33.280> all<02:14:33.400> day<02:14:33.680> every<02:14:33.960> day.<02:14:34.480> I<02:14:34.800> speak<02:14:35.320> to<02:14:35.480> others.

02:14:35.920 --> 02:14:41.240
I<02:14:36.000> try<02:14:36.200> to<02:14:36.320> help<02:14:36.600> as<02:14:36.840> much<02:14:37.080> as<02:14:37.240> I<02:14:37.320> can.<02:14:38.080> I<02:14:38.560> do<02:14:38.840> not<02:14:39.120> take<02:14:39.400> any<02:14:39.560> time<02:14:39.840> for<02:14:40.000> myself.

02:14:41.240 --> 02:14:48.320
Um<02:14:41.640> Yeah,<02:14:41.840> but<02:14:42.040> time<02:14:42.240> for<02:14:42.360> yourself<02:14:43.280> if<02:14:43.520> it<02:14:43.720> makes<02:14:43.960> you<02:14:44.080> more<02:14:44.280> healthy<02:14:44.960> and<02:14:45.520> increases<02:14:46.040> your<02:14:46.240> life<02:14:46.640> is<02:14:47.240> time<02:14:47.520> for<02:14:47.680> others.

02:14:48.320 --> 02:14:55.080
Like<02:14:48.520> they<02:14:48.640> say<02:14:48.880> sitting<02:14:49.360> is<02:14:49.520> the<02:14:49.600> new<02:14:49.800> smoking.<02:14:50.720> You<02:14:50.840> know,<02:14:51.000> if<02:14:51.240> you're<02:14:51.320> just<02:14:51.520> sitting<02:14:51.760> in<02:14:51.880> a<02:14:51.920> chair<02:14:52.360> all<02:14:52.480> day,<02:14:53.080> it's<02:14:53.440> going<02:14:53.600> to<02:14:53.680> take<02:14:53.920> a<02:14:54.000> toll<02:14:54.280> by<02:14:54.440> the<02:14:54.520> time<02:14:54.680> you're<02:14:54.800> my

02:14:55.080 --> 02:15:01.720
age<02:14:55.360> you<02:14:55.893> [laughter]<02:14:56.160> I<02:14:56.320> know.<02:14:56.640> There<02:14:56.880> have<02:14:57.000> been<02:14:57.200> some<02:14:57.480> recent<02:14:57.960> messages<02:14:58.760> about,<02:14:59.160> you<02:14:59.240> know,<02:14:59.480> maybe<02:14:59.760> it's<02:14:59.880> time<02:15:00.120> to<02:15:00.200> get<02:15:00.360> some<02:15:00.520> blood<02:15:00.800> work<02:15:01.120> and<02:15:01.240> do<02:15:01.360> some<02:15:01.560> other

02:15:01.720 --> 02:15:05.000
things.<02:15:02.080> So<02:15:02.320> it's<02:15:02.600> it's<02:15:02.800> pointing<02:15:03.280> me<02:15:03.440> in<02:15:03.560> that<02:15:03.760> direction.

02:15:05.000 --> 02:15:11.440
Um<02:15:05.080> the<02:15:05.200> unfortunate<02:15:05.880> part<02:15:06.120> about<02:15:06.400> it<02:15:06.480> is<02:15:06.600> if<02:15:06.720> I<02:15:06.800> take<02:15:07.040> more<02:15:07.160> time<02:15:07.440> for<02:15:07.560> myself,<02:15:08.000> I<02:15:08.040> have<02:15:08.160> less<02:15:08.360> time<02:15:08.520> for<02:15:08.760> others,<02:15:09.200> which<02:15:09.400> means<02:15:10.160> the<02:15:10.320> waiting<02:15:10.680> list<02:15:10.880> gets<02:15:11.080> that<02:15:11.240> much

02:15:11.440 --> 02:15:16.920
longer.<02:15:12.520> But<02:15:13.320> I'm<02:15:13.520> sure<02:15:13.800> I<02:15:13.880> will<02:15:14.080> find<02:15:14.320> a<02:15:14.360> balance<02:15:15.520> as<02:15:15.720> we<02:15:15.840> move<02:15:16.080> forward.

02:15:16.920 --> 02:15:22.040
You<02:15:16.960> know<02:15:17.040> what<02:15:17.160> you<02:15:17.240> can<02:15:17.360> do?<02:15:17.560> I've<02:15:17.720> actually<02:15:18.000> done<02:15:18.240> this.<02:15:18.480> You<02:15:18.600> can<02:15:18.800> do<02:15:19.040> Zoom<02:15:19.320> calls<02:15:19.720> on<02:15:19.840> your<02:15:20.000> phone<02:15:20.360> while<02:15:20.480> you're<02:15:20.600> hiking<02:15:20.960> in<02:15:21.040> the<02:15:21.120> woods.

02:15:22.040 --> 02:15:28.040
Hm.<02:15:22.920> You<02:15:23.000> know,<02:15:23.400> you<02:15:23.520> can<02:15:23.600> be<02:15:23.720> talking<02:15:24.000> to<02:15:24.120> a<02:15:24.160> thousand<02:15:24.520> people<02:15:24.840> or<02:15:25.000> whatever<02:15:25.400> on<02:15:25.560> Zoom<02:15:26.040> and<02:15:26.440> answering<02:15:26.800> questions<02:15:27.360> and<02:15:27.440> the<02:15:27.480> whole<02:15:27.640> deal.

02:15:28.040 --> 02:15:31.120
Meanwhile<02:15:28.400> you're<02:15:28.600> getting<02:15:29.520> Yeah,<02:15:30.040> getting<02:15:30.280> your<02:15:30.400> steps.

02:15:31.120 --> 02:15:33.400
Yeah.<02:15:31.263> [laughter]<02:15:32.360> That's<02:15:32.640> good.

02:15:33.400 --> 02:15:36.240
I<02:15:33.520> might<02:15:33.680> try<02:15:33.880> that.<02:15:34.280> Try<02:15:34.480> that.<02:15:35.200> I<02:15:35.320> might<02:15:35.560> try<02:15:35.800> that.

02:15:36.240 --> 02:15:43.840
Yeah.<02:15:37.200> All<02:15:37.280> righty,<02:15:37.560> well<02:15:37.680> thank<02:15:37.920> you<02:15:38.000> so<02:15:38.160> much<02:15:38.640> and<02:15:38.840> thanks<02:15:39.040> to<02:15:39.160> those<02:15:39.360> who've<02:15:39.520> been<02:15:39.640> listening<02:15:39.960> or<02:15:40.040> watching<02:15:40.720> and<02:15:41.360> if<02:15:41.560> you<02:15:41.640> if<02:15:41.880> BatGap<02:15:42.280> is<02:15:42.440> new<02:15:42.760> to<02:15:42.880> you,<02:15:43.520> um<02:15:43.600> check

02:15:43.840 --> 02:15:52.160
it<02:15:44.000> out.<02:15:44.240> If<02:15:44.360> you<02:15:44.480> want<02:15:45.360> there's<02:15:45.600> a<02:15:45.680> link<02:15:46.000> to<02:15:46.160> get<02:15:46.320> on<02:15:46.440> the<02:15:46.560> email<02:15:46.880> list<02:15:47.160> at<02:15:47.240> the<02:15:47.360> bottom<02:15:47.720> of<02:15:47.880> all<02:15:48.000> the<02:15:48.120> pages<02:15:48.760> and<02:15:49.080> that<02:15:49.320> that<02:15:49.520> way<02:15:49.640> you'd<02:15:49.760> be<02:15:49.880> notified<02:15:50.480> of<02:15:51.280> um<02:15:51.680> each<02:15:51.920> new

02:15:52.160 --> 02:15:56.760
interview<02:15:52.560> as<02:15:52.800> I<02:15:52.840> post<02:15:53.160> it.<02:15:54.320> All<02:15:54.400> righty,<02:15:55.480> parting<02:15:55.840> is<02:15:55.920> such<02:15:56.160> sweet<02:15:56.440> sorrow.

02:15:56.760 --> 02:16:11.219
It's<02:15:56.920> hard<02:15:57.120> to<02:15:57.200> say<02:15:57.360> goodbye,<02:15:57.760> but<02:15:58.080> we<02:15:58.160> got<02:15:58.320> to<02:15:58.400> do<02:15:58.520> it.

02:16:11.219 --> 02:16:23.800
[music]

02:16:23.800 --> 02:16:25.800
Woo!